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Incest A Virgin Boy with Dominating Maami

Phunthru

Phunthru

Shri Phunthru
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although not a fan of incest, as i already expressed in the other thread...

seeing you have started with a basic setting of 2 characters and are going a bit 'safe' and traditional with the narrative.

i wont say anything yet...
because its too early to say something,
as much hasnt happened yet in the story... and you are still building the characters around each other.

also, again i am sure you arent aiming to create a masterpiece or the swan song of your creative and literary inputs...
and you might fizzle out / give up writing in the mid due to either the burn out or the unappreciative nature in terms of resources.

but try to write a character that is not flat or two dimensional, give them a bit depth.
a conciousness, an emotional core... it will definitely elevate your writing.

otherwise its just another boner fiction, with a different title (i speak from the experience of writing a few myself)

sorry for the speech but in the last...

i would suggest you also do a Hindi version in parallel to amplify the Desi touch,
because Hindi readers are more into these kind of closely related character stories...
as compared to English where Adultery is the more celebrated theme as compared to Incest.

hope you dont mind my critique, if thats what you can call it.
and good luck...
 
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naughtyishaan

naughtyishaan

Naughty and Kinky Boy
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Phunthru said:
although not a fan of incest, as i already expressed in the other thread...

seeing you have started with a basic setting of 2 characters and are going a bit 'safe' and traditional with the narrative.

i wont say anything yet...
because its too early to say something,
as much hasnt happened yet in the story... and you are still building the characters around each other.

also, again i am sure you arent aiming to create a masterpiece or the swan song of your creative and literary inputs...
and you might fizzle out / give up writing in the mid due to either the burn out or the unappreciative nature in terms of resources.

but try to write a character that is not flat or two dimensional, give them a bit depth.
a conciousness, an emotional core... it will definitely elevate your writing.

otherwise its just another boner fiction, with a different title (i speak from the experience of writing a few myself)

sorry for the speech but in the last...

i would suggest you also do a Hindi version in parallel to amplify the Desi touch,
because Hindi readers are more into these kind of closely related character stories...
as compared to English where Adultery is the more celebrated theme as compared to Incest.

hope you dont mind my critique, if thats what you can call it.
and good luck...
Click to expand...
I will happily accept this kind of lengthy criticism.
Yaar short wale criticisms mein samajh ta hi nahi ki kya bolne ki koshish kar raha hai 😅😅.

Almost half already likhi hui hai .... Kyu ki meine yeh story already ek site lar upload ki thi .... But then phir stop kardi thi.

Mera bhi yeh first time hai story likhne ka, so mujhe itna paata nahi tha ki story ko background kaise dene hai ... New new characters kaise aad karne hai. Xforum par hi first time inte lengthy format with so much background story about each character read ki hai.

Abhi jahan tak story likhi hui hai .... Usmein bas Maami and Ishaan hi hai .... There interaction and sex scenes, that's it.

I have imagined this story thinking ki Maami is experienced so she will dominate Ishaan .... After Ishaan get out of his fear of a girl and starts to understand how to tease a lady and satisfy her thrust, tab woh Maami ko dominant karega ....😅😅(this part is not yet written, so I can incorporate your ideas here. But these ideas will reflect after I guess 20 parts).

Next part actually todha controversial hai .... it's about ishaan masturbating in the room 😅😅 imagining Maami.

Meine socha hai hindi mein bhi post karta hu .... But hinglish ke liye phirse puri story likhni hogi .... So bas 100% shud hindi translation from google use karne ka soch raha hu.
 
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