★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Chutiyadr]

Review on : वो कौन थी ??

Writer : Chutiyadr

Dear Dr. Bhai

Wow.. Another thriller /Suspenseful genre story. . I confess that i love to read any kind of thriller/horror/suspense type story. After seeing the title I was ready with my share of popcorn and to experience the thrill. To surprise of my surprise during reading my face was . What madhu seeing was really and in the form of chaaya. Overall I really loved the story very much .

I would have never come close to madhu even for a split of second after seeing her behavior . Aakash, Roopa and Raju were really courageous. ( Pun Intended )

PLOT: The story revolves around two main characters Aakash and Madhu ( Oops there was one more Wo Kaun Thi? ..... ) They were happily married couple . But you know in every love story the path is filled with freaky . The consequence was that madhu started seeing a stranger lady in her bedroom . But she was only visible to her . Aakash and other party thought . Aakash really wanted to help madhu but in the end

I would not give further spoilers but will say that the story really kept me glued till the end. The horror/thrill atmosphere built by the dr sahib throughout the story is amazing

VERDICT: The writer has done fabolous job in building the suspense and thrill and kept it up to the last word of the story. The narration was top notch and dialogues were satisfactory. Just minor flaws were how come aakash not find out the pistol even when most of the times madhu was sleeping and If madhu's parents are reputed then everyone must have known about that fatal and about reality ( Avoided Spoiler ) of vinay too. Well its only my point of view ( May be I missed something ) Overall the writing of Dr sahib is really .

The story is 10/10

REGARDS

THE BLUE PRINCE

The Blue Prince
bro ..main to aapke review ka bhi diwana ho gaya ,man kar raha hai ki aapke review par ek review likh du ..
really thanx a lot for this review especially what you done with this emojis is awesome
thanks to you bro ...

 

[Chutiyadr]

Review for: वो कौन थी?
लेखक: Chutiyadr

डाॅ. साहब, सबसे पहले तो बहुत बहुत शुक्रिया इतनी खूबसूरत कहानी को हम सबके सामने प्रस्तुत करने के लिए।

डाॅ. साहब, मैंने आपकी इस कहानी को पढ़ा, यकीनन ये कहानी क़ाबिले तारीफ़ है। संक्षिप्त कहानी के तौर पर जितना हो सकता था उतना आपने इसमें मसाला डाला है। हर बात का बारीकी से चित्रण किया है और सभी भावनाओं को खूबसूरती से दिखाया भी है।

इस कहानी का केन्द्र बिंदु बहुत साफ था। इसके ईर्द गिर्द कहानी को बड़ी ही खूबसूरती से सजाया है आपने। मधू के पिता की दुर्घटना से मौत हो गई थी जिसकी वजह से मधू को ऐसी बीमारी हो गई। मधू के पति ने उससे इस लिए शादी की ताकि वो उसकी दौलत पर ऐश कर सके और जिसे वो सच में प्यार करता था उसे अपना बना सके। उसने मधू को अपने रास्ते से हटाने के लिए उसे पागल बनाने की नाकाम कोशिश की मगर इसके लिए उसे मौत के रूप में अंजाम मिला। यहाॅ पर शुरूआत में लगा कि मधू पर हॅसने वाली औरत कोई आत्मा थी किन्तु बाद में पता चल गया कि ऐसा कुछ नहीं था। ख़ैर, मधू के भाई ने अपनी बहन के सहयोग में महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका निभाई, किन्तु अंत में ये रहस्य भी खुला कि वो तो उसके पिता के साथ ही दुर्घटना में खत्म हो चुका था। इसका मतलब ये हुआ कि उसके भाई ने ये सब उससे कल्पनाओं के द्वारा करवाया या आत्मा के रूप में उसके सामने आकर। ख़ैर, डाॅ. साहब आपकी इस बेहतरीन कहानी में रहस्य और सस्पेन्स का मेल जोल काफी सराहनीय था।

अब बात करते हैं इसके दूसरे पहलू के बारे में, इसमें कुछ किरदार ऐसे थे जिन पर शक हुआ मगर उनको आपने इस कहानी में क्लीन चिट दी और अंत में पुलिस की रिपोर्ट से सारी बात साफ कर दी। मुझे लगता है यहाॅ पर कुछ विस्तार से बताने की ज़रूरत थी। ख़ैर, इसके बावजूद मैं यही कहूॅगा कि ये कहानी काफी खूबसूरत थी।

!! धन्यवाद !!

The_InnoCent
dhanywad shubham bhai aap jaise lekhak se review pana apne aap me ek sukhad anubhaw hai ..
aapne is story ko saraha yahi mere liye kafi hai ,
jaisa apne vistar ki bat ki to ha maine ispar bahut socha ki iski ending kaisi honi chahiye 3 din tak main lagatar sochta rha alag alag pahluo par aur is natije me pahucha ki ise bas itana hi rakhana chahiye kyoki mere khyal ye tha ki isse readers ko sochne ka mouka milega ki wo koun thi ,sach thi ya fir kalpna ...jo readers last ke report ko dhyan se padhenge shayd unhe ye clear ho jaayega ,isi liye maine janbujhkar ise detail nhi kiya ...
ek bar fir aapka bahut bahut dhanywad shubham bhai ...i really happy ki aapne meri story padhi aur review bhi diya ,thanks bro ..

 

[Vijay2309]

The_InnoCent
dhanywad shubham bhai aap jaise lekhak se review pana apne aap me ek sukhad anubhaw hai ..
aapne is story ko saraha yahi mere liye kafi hai ,
jaisa apne vistar ki bat ki to ha maine ispar bahut socha ki iski ending kaisi honi chahiye 3 din tak main lagatar sochta rha alag alag pahluo par aur is natije me pahucha ki ise bas itana hi rakhana chahiye kyoki mere khyal ye tha ki isse readers ko sochne ka mouka milega ki wo koun thi ,sach thi ya fir kalpna ...jo readers last ke report ko dhyan se padhenge shayd unhe ye clear ho jaayega ,isi liye maine janbujhkar ise detail nhi kiya ...
ek bar fir aapka bahut bahut dhanywad shubham bhai ...i really happy ki aapne meri story padhi aur review bhi diya ,thanks bro ..

Accha....

 

[Chutiyadr]

Accha....

 

[The_InnoCent]

The_InnoCent
dhanywad shubham bhai aap jaise lekhak se review pana apne aap me ek sukhad anubhaw hai ..
aapne is story ko saraha yahi mere liye kafi hai ,
jaisa apne vistar ki bat ki to ha maine ispar bahut socha ki iski ending kaisi honi chahiye 3 din tak main lagatar sochta rha alag alag pahluo par aur is natije me pahucha ki ise bas itana hi rakhana chahiye kyoki mere khyal ye tha ki isse readers ko sochne ka mouka milega ki wo koun thi ,sach thi ya fir kalpna ...jo readers last ke report ko dhyan se padhenge shayd unhe ye clear ho jaayega ,isi liye maine janbujhkar ise detail nhi kiya ...
ek bar fir aapka bahut bahut dhanywad shubham bhai ...i really happy ki aapne meri story padhi aur review bhi diya ,thanks bro ..

बिलकुल ठीक सोचा था आपने। जहाॅ तक मुझे लगता है तो इस कहानी का ऐसा ही अंत शीर्षक को पूरी तरह सार्थक कर सकता है। आख़िर सबके ज़हन में ये तो होना ही चाहिए कि "वो कौन थी?"। हाॅ अगर कहानी का शीर्षक कुछ और होता तो कदाचित इसका अंत इसके विपरीत कुछ अलग और वृहद हो सकता था। ख़ैर, संभावनाओं की बातें तो अपनी जगह हैं डाॅ. भाई किन्तु ये सच है कि आपकी कहानी दमदार, वजनदार और असरदार थी।

 

[Milan2010]

Review on : Khwaab-Ek Haqiqat

Writer : Milan2010

Dear Milan bhai

Aarav-Shreya

Well the title of the story hold the whole premise of the story Shreya ka ek khoobsoorat khwaab jo Aarav Haqiqat main badal deta hai Most part of the story consist of flashback which is written awesomely The kidness and thoughts of shreya really hit hard my heart

PLOT: The story revolves around two main characters Aarav and Shreya. Shreya is really a beautiful girl with even more beautiful thoughts. Aarav is initially an arrogant guy but after seeing the side of shreya he takes a U turn . After that their love story flourishes. But the god has already decided destination of their cute love story . You have to read it yourself story to find out the answer .

VERDICT: The writer has done remarkable job in building the character of shreya. We got to know her really well . I liked the cuteness of the story which is told through activities of shreya I never felt bored for even a second. The narration and the dialogues were fit for the lovely atmosphere of the story. The end of the story delivers a big social message . A big for that. Just minor flaw were that i wanted to know more about Aarav's nature and some more background that how they both fell in love so easily. and one more thing is use of red color which affect readiness a little bit. Apart from these the story is

The story is 10/10

REGARDS

THE BLUE PRINCE

thank you so much The Blue Prince bhai for the kind and sweet and wonderful review
i am very happy that you like the story
bhai, actually iss genre me maine first time likhi hi story, so muje idea nahi tha ki kese likhu..??
aur meri adat hamesa se bade updates likhne ki rahi hai, so short story likhne me kaafi dikkat hui hai
anyways, thanks for the suggestion, i will try my best in another contest
and i will keep that try not to use red colour next time
thank aton bhai

 

[Milan2010]

Review

"Khwab Ek Hakikat"

By Milan

"I like the plot of the story and the way you narrated it.

There are some good points in the story as well as some loop holes.

I think you can explain some scenes better without using too many unuseful words.

And I felt that you did not describe some characters properly.

Piyush,and the male protagonist of the story were not fitting well with the story.

Their characters needed to be polished.

While the female protagonist looked confused throughout the story,she helped people,but was easily swayed as she fell in love with the hero easily.

Well I am glad milu that you writes this story but as I read your previous stories,I think you can do better than this,
One more thing the plot of this story is good but with the storyline,it felt boring,there were some minor mistakes as well but even if overlook them,I still lose my interest in it,it cannot kept me with it,and I didnt feel that connection with the story and its characters which I usually feel while reading your stories,you are one of my most favorites writes,but I am really disappointed after reading this peace,morever I want you to try more and polish your writing skills coz I want that Milu back who can easily make people fall in love with his writings,one more thing which I noticed is that,that This is not your genre of writing,as You writes dark stories with dark characters of murders and mystries,so after reading this story I think that you can also write beautifully in this genre if you practice more "
​

thank you Diksha
thanks for the honest review
i am totally accepting my mistakes, and i will try my best in next story not to repeat the same
and as per the comparison with my previous storries, they are totally different, and on entirely on different genre, mostly thriller and sci-fic
every time i wrote on that genre, so i just thought to write it some thing different
but i am glad that you have given the honest reviwe
for the lovely reply

 

[The Blue Prince]

thank you so much The Blue Prince bhai for the kind and sweet and wonderful review
i am very happy that you like the story
bhai, actually iss genre me maine first time likhi hi story, so muje idea nahi tha ki kese likhu..??
aur meri adat hamesa se bade updates likhne ki rahi hai, so short story likhne me kaafi dikkat hui hai
anyways, thanks for the suggestion, i will try my best in another contest
and i will keep that try not to use red colour next time
thank aton bhai

Welcome Bhai welcome. But thanks to your for giving us a wonderful story No problem bhai aapki short story thi. And is genre main aur likhoge stories toh toh aur bhi super mast ho jayega bhai

Thanks for the reply brother.

 

[The Blue Prince]

The Blue Prince
bro ..main to aapke review ka bhi diwana ho gaya ,man kar raha hai ki aapke review par ek review likh du ..
really thanx a lot for this review especially what you done with this emojis is awesome
thanks to you bro ...

Thank you so much bhai for sweet words. Apki story mast thi toh review bhi mast banta that Likh do Bhai likh do review or review

Thanks again for giving us awesome story to read.

 

[Milan2010]

Welcome Bhai welcome. But thanks to your for giving us a wonderful story No problem bhai aapki short story thi. And is genre main aur likhoge stories toh toh aur bhi super mast ho jayega bhai

Thanks for the reply brother.

:thank: bhai aapko story pasand aayi
par shayad mai sci-fic thriller me hi behtar hu, so usi me try karunga isse bhi ache se likhu