★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

Story = [/SIZE[/SIZE
https://xforum.live/threads/%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2020-entry-thread-%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85.16291/#post-1477573] haivaan(The Devil)
Writer =@AbhaySmarty
Achharya ji ne joh kaha woh kitne pratishat sahi hai yeh toh nahin pata par haa itna jarur hai ki insaan khud se kabhi bure nahi hote.... balki kabhi kabhi uske aas paas ke parstithi ushe aise ban ne par majboor karta hai....
Raju ka bhaav viheen hona hi yeh nahin darshata hai ki woh haivaan ban gaya hai.. Balki ushe banne ke liye majbur kiya unlogo ne joh aaye din ushe darata, satata, tang karta, dhamkata , mar pit karta... aur is kadar is hadd tak karta uske sath ki woh tut naa jaye sharirik roop se hi nahin balki manshisk tor pe bhi ... Par apne swabhav ke anurup usne woh sab tiraskar, utpeedan andar hi andar sahta gaya par uski maa ne kasam deke us sahansilita ko tod diya natiza itne dino dabe huye krodh, aag ke roop bahar aaya.... aur jane kitne log uske sapet mein aake khak mein mil gaya... woh ruka nahin tab tak jab tak ushe malum nahin hua ki agli shikar koun thi... ....aur ush ladki se milke sayad ushe ehsaas hua ki woh kiya karne jaa raha tha... isliye sayad surrender kar diya khud ko... par twist yeh ki ushne insaan pehchaan ne mein galti kar di yeh baat sayad uske aham par aghat kiya iske chalte usne mout ko chun liya khud ke liye... dhekha jaye ushe kya mila, sirf khoya hi to hai ish raah pe chalte huye....


Khair writer ne ish kahani ko fantasy ka touch de ke jish tarike se pesh kiya hai boh atulaneeya hain aur writer sahab se yahin ummid hain aage bhi aise hi story likh ke hum readers ki manoranjan karte rahe...
So Abhay Brilliant story line with awesome writing skill

Ohhh myy God pyali Naina ji ty so much for a very unpredictable and beautiful review... Aapne jiss angle se story ko dekha waakai sarahniya hai.....
Jitni cheez story me poori thi iss angle se kaafi hadd tk poori dikh rhi h...

 

[chintu222]

Pyar Jhagda (Ek sikke ke do pehlu)
By Akki ❸❸❸

Ek simple si kahani jiska main motive keval itni si baat ko samhjana tha ki pyar jhagde mein kuch nahi rakha..badi se badi ladayian bhi shanti se aur pyar se suljhayi jaa sakti hain
Kaafi chejon ki gunjayesh thi story mein jisse ki iss baat ko aur bhi achee aur interesting tarike se bataya jaa sakta tha. Lekin fir bhi story kaafi kuch batane mein kamyab hui hai.
Overall a Good and Simple story..Thanks for wring this..And All the Best

 

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

Story-Haivaan... ( The Devil ?
Weiter- _ABHAY_Smarty_
Bohat hi acha story tha bhai... Ek bohat hi umda timeline ke hisab se seen by seen kar ke aap ne narrate kiya hai..
Downside -bhai mujhe lagta hai aap iss story ko thoda aur emotional support de sakte the.. Word limit aur bhi baki thi kuch aur word jod ke agar aap thoda bohat maa aur raju ka reaction ko dikhate.. Bachapan ke baad ka... To acha hota like uske maa se dur hone ke bawjood uska apne maa ke bare Maine khayal rakhna... Wo apne maa ko leke itna care karta tha par achanak uska apni maa ka jimmedaari mantri ke upar pura daal dena.. Thoda ajeev lagta hai agra uss position miane aap thoda uss mindset ko dikha sakte the kisi kis situation ke chalte usne aisa kiya to acha hota.. Isiliye uska aakhir seen pe khud ko goli maar dena utna feel nahini hua.... Varna story bohat hi achi thi aur bhai aap se request hai competition khatam hone ke baad iss topic aur seen ko leke ek thread jaroor shuru karna bohat hi plot hai story ke liye... All the best for competition... Bhai

Ty so much for a beautiful review bhai....

Agr mai aisa kr deta bhai jaisa aap keh rhe hai... Uss parishthti mai... 50 update ho jaate story k end phunchne tk... Mere pass sirf 6000 or iski hi kami ki wjh se kuch missing rh gya.... ?? Ty again...

 

[Rbcl.007]

Bhai maine samajh sakta hoon.. Bhai ek request hai. Iss story ko aap fully banake post karoge kya.. Competition khatam hone ke baad agar aap se possible hua to...

 

[Rbcl.007]

प्यार-झगड़ा

(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
Writer-@Akki333
bhai bohat hi pyari kahani thi.. Bhai jaroori na ho jo kahani jitni simple dikhti ho wo utna hi simple hai.. Yehi chiz hi to hai jo real life maine riste banati hai ya phir tudwati hai.. Dono ki pyar aur nokjhok ka acha swaroop dikhaya aapane..
bus isse thoda aur ache se kaha jata to acha hota aur agar Himanshi aur Akash ki subha ki jhagda ki thoda ache se dikhate to aur bhi acha hota.... All the best for the competition

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

agar Himanshi aur Akash ki subha ki jhagda ki thoda ache se dikhate to aur bhi acha hota....

Ha bhai mujhe bhi yahi kami lagti hai
Thanks bhai ji

 

[Naina]

Story = प्यार -झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
Writer = Akki ❸❸❸

kabhi kabhi ek sadharan si kahani bhi apne apme aasadhaaran hoti hai joh hume kabhi kabhi badi mahattvapoorn shikh de jati hai... Jaise ki yeh kahani... jahaan pyar hai wahan nok jhok hote rahte hain khas kar pati patni ke bich mein chhoti moti baaton se jhagde hote rahte hai .kabhi kabhar jhagda badh bhi jata hai pas iska matlab ye nahin soche samjhe kisi natize pe pahunch jaye.. kabhi kabhi toh ladne walo ko hi malum nahi hota ki akhir jhagada suru kahan se hua aur galti kiski thi..... so aise bematlab ke jhagade se bache... aur khud se vichaar vimarsh kare ki aisa kabhi na ho.. Agar jhagada ho bhi jaye aur khud se soch nahi paye ki galti kiski thi ya phir aage kya kiya jaye toh apne pariwar mein joh bade log hai unse bichar bimarch kare.. .par unhi se kare jinke soch himanshi ke pita jaise ho .. woh aapko bilkul uchit aur munasib sujhaav denge ki kya karna chahiye...jaise yahin kam ain mauke par himanshi ke pita ne kiya ...jiske chalte baat bigadne se pehle hi sulajh gaya.. sabse badi baat, galti ki hai toh maafi mangna bhi sikh lena chahiye jitni jaldi ho chake.. . aur pariwar mein kisi sadhasya se ya chahe pati patni ke bich mein hi kyun nah ho ek dushre se maafi mang lene se koi chhota nahin ho jata.. ...rishto ke dor majbut banaye naki ishe kamjor . aur kya kahu... writer sahab kahani ke jariye hi kahani ke naam sarthak kar diya hain.....
So Akki ❸❸❸ ji Brilliant update with awesome writing skill

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

प्यार-झगड़ा

(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)

जीवन की कुछ परिस्थिति को दर्शाती कहानी जो बताती है कि यदि थोड़ा सा विचार किया जाए तो जिदंगी बेहतर हो सकती है

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

Pyar Jhagda (Ek sikke ke do pehlu)
By Akki ❸❸❸

Ek simple si kahani jiska main motive keval itni si baat ko samhjana tha ki pyar jhagde mein kuch nahi rakha..badi se badi ladayian bhi shanti se aur pyar se suljhayi jaa sakti hain
Kaafi chejon ki gunjayesh thi story mein jisse ki iss baat ko aur bhi achee aur interesting tarike se bataya jaa sakta tha. Lekin fir bhi story kaafi kuch batane mein kamyab hui hai.
Overall a Good and Simple story..Thanks for wring this..And All the Best

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

Story = प्यार -झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
Writer = Akki ❸❸❸

kabhi kabhi ek sadharan si kahani bhi apne apme aasadhaaran hoti hai joh hume kabhi kabhi badi mahattvapoorn shikh de jati hai... Jaise ki yeh kahani... jahaan pyar hai wahan nok jhok hote rahte hain khas kar pati patni ke bich mein chhoti moti baaton se jhagde hote rahte hai .kabhi kabhar jhagda badh bhi jata hai pas iska matlab ye nahin soche samjhe kisi natize pe pahunch jaye.. kabhi kabhi toh ladne walo ko hi malum nahi hota ki akhir jhagada suru kahan se hua aur galti kiski thi..... so aise bematlab ke jhagade se bache... aur khud se vichaar vimarsh kare ki aisa kabhi na ho.. Agar jhagada ho bhi jaye aur khud se soch nahi paye ki galti kiski thi ya phir aage kya kiya jaye toh apne pariwar mein joh bade log hai unse bichar bimarch kare.. .par unhi se kare jinke soch himanshi ke pita jaise ho .. woh aapko bilkul uchit aur munasib sujhaav denge ki kya karna chahiye...jaise yahin kam ain mauke par himanshi ke pita ne kiya ...jiske chalte baat bigadne se pehle hi sulajh gaya.. sabse badi baat, galti ki hai toh maafi mangna bhi sikh lena chahiye jitni jaldi ho chake.. . aur pariwar mein kisi sadhasya se ya chahe pati patni ke bich mein hi kyun nah ho ek dushre se maafi mang lene se koi chhota nahin ho jata.. ...rishto ke dor majbut banaye naki ishe kamjor . aur kya kahu... writer sahab kahani ke jariye hi kahani ke naam sarthak kar diya hain.....
So Akki ❸❸❸ ji Brilliant update with awesome writing skill