★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2022 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Reviews posted on or before 12th March 2022 11:59 PM will be considered for Best Supporting Reader

 

[Mahi Maurya]

मुझे पहली कहानी " साजिश " कहीं ज्यादा बेहतर लगा था आप की दूसरी कहानी से । सस्पेंस क्रिएट करना बहुत मुश्किल होता है । एक एक एक्टिविटी पर ध्यान देना पड़ता है । बहुत ज्यादा जटिल होता है यह । फिर भी आप ने बेहतरीन कोशिश की माही जी ।

धन्यवाद आपका महोदय साजिश के लिए
मतलब साजिश पसन्द करने के लिए।

जिन लोगों ने दोनों कहानियां पढ़ी हैं उन्होंने कर्मों का फल को साजिश से बेहतर बताया है।
लेकिन हमको तो दोनों ही पसंद है।
वैसे भी सबका अपना अपना कलेवर होता है महोदय।

 

[Jaguaar]

Love In Local Train By Jaguaar .

Ek romantic story, ab hum ye to jaante hi hain ke Jaguaar bhai Romance likhne mein maahir hain. Iss se pehle bhi do long stories Romance genre ki aap complete kar chuke hain, to of course ye kahani bhi behatreen hi honi thi.

Kahani ka main protagonist arthat hero tha Aman, joki nature se ek sharmila ladka hai par saath hi bahut talented bhi hai. Nateejtan, company ki taraf se promotion mila Usse par saath hi transfer bhi. Mumbai yaani Mayanagri joki kitne hi logon ka sapnon ka shehar hota hai, Aman ki manzil bhi wahi thi. Par wo iss baat se anjaan tha, ke usse uska payaar bhi Mumbai mein hi milne waala tha.

Sheetal, jiska swabhav bilkul Aman se ulat tha, aakhir Mumbai mein rehne ka asar to padna hi tha. Aman ke dil mein usse dekhkar hulchul shuru ho gayi. Pehle halki si baat cheet,fir dosti aur fir pyaar... Aakhir Aman Sheetal ko apna dil de hi baitha. Par apne sharmeele swabhav ke chalte keh naa paaya, zyadatar hindustani laundon ki kahani yahi hai waise!

But, Sheetal se kuchh hi samay ki doori ne tadpa diya usse aur aakhir Aman ne himmat dikhayi, par uske izhaar ka tareeka alag tha. Ek khat ke zariye usne apne dil ki baat Sheetal tak pahunchayi, khat hi ek zariya hai jo bilkul rubaroo baatcheet jaisa lagta hai. Love Letters & All, reminds me of the old days...

Par twist ye tha ke Sheetal pehle se hi Aman se pyaar karti thi. Sheetal ne Aman ko ek shaadi mein dekha tha aur wahin pehli nazar ke pyaar ka shikaar ho gayi thi. Last, mein dono ka ek doosre se sabhi kahi ankahi baaton ka izhaar karna dil ko chhoo gaya. Ek happy ending huyi, dono ki shaadi ke roop mein!

Jaisa maine pehle kaha hi, Romantic stories aap bahut badhiya likhte hain, ye story bhi ussi prakaar ki thi. Ek simple si prem kahani thi jisse aapki lekhni ne shaandar bana diya. Haan, shayad emotions waale factor mein halka saa kaam kiya jaa sakta tha.

Outstanding Creation Bhai!

Thank you bhai kahani ko pasand ko karne ke liyee.

Short story pehle kabhi likhi nhi thi. Isiliye emotion wala factor mein jyaada focus nhi karpaaya.

 

[krish1152]

Ghodo ko nahi mill rehi gahas gadey kha rehay hai chavanprash - sangita morya

Nice story bahut kam sabdo me xforum ke sath aaj ke rajneeti parivesh per kafi umda tipni ki hai aajkal rajneeti me imaandar aur sahi logo ko kaisay bevkuf banna kar kuch log apni gandi poltics ko chala rahe hai

 

[deeppreeti]

कहानी- पेटीकोट की जीत
रचनाकार- deeppreeti महोदय।।

बहुत ही बढ़िया रचना है आपकी।।

अक्सर ऐसा होता है कि कुछ लड़के बहुत ही ज्यादा उद्दंड होते हैं और उन्हें जितना सुधारने की कोशिश की जाती है वो उतना ही बिगड़ते चले जाते हैं।। उन्हें मारने पीटना तब व्यर्थ साबित होता है जब उस मार से उनकी आंखों में डर के बजाय निडरता दिखाई देती है।। ऐसा बिल्कुल भी नहीं है कि अगर लड़कों को लड़कियों के बीच दंडित किया जाए तो वो सुधर ही जाएं।।

कुछ मामले ऐसे भी आते हैं जिसमे कुछ लड़के अपनी सारी शर्म और हया बेचकर पी गए होते हैं फिर उन्हें चाहे किसी के सामने भी दंडित करो उन्हें कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता। अगर कोई ठान ले कि उसे सुधरना है तो थोड़ी सी कोशिश के बाद वो सुधर सकता है। रजनीकांत की कहानी में एक बात सही हुआ जो स्कूल वाला वाकया है। सहशिक्षा बहुत जरूरी है आजकल के समय में, क्योंकि इससे बच्चों का बौद्धिक और मानसिक विकास तेज़ी से होता है।।​

कहानी रिव्यु कर पसंद करने के लिए शुक्रिया
शर्मसार आदमी के लिए चुल्लूभर पानी भी बहुत होता है

 

[Sangeeta Maurya]

Ghodo ko nahi mill rehi gahas gadey kha rehay hai chavanprash - sangita morya

Nice story bahut kam sabdo me xforum ke sath aaj ke rajneeti parivesh per kafi umda tipni ki hai aajkal rajneeti me imaandar aur sahi logo ko kaisay bevkuf banna kar kuch log apni gandi poltics ko chala rahe hai

आपके इस रिव्यु के लिए आपका बहुत बहुत आभार आप उन कुछ लोगों में से हैं जो सच बोलना जानता हैं....................न की डर के मारे रिव्यु देने से बचना चाहते हैं.............. शुक्रिया

 

[Kingfisher]

Mahi Maurya thnx for giving lovely review
Jaguaar thanx buddy 4 giving lovely review
Yug Purush Maharaj thanx Yara meri story par apka review dekh Mann prafullit ho gya...apne jo sabse bdi kami bataii ( word mistake ) thi vo mistake nhi thi balki meri bevkufi hi thi coz mene jab ye story puri likh di tab use CnP karke ek our copy bna Li, sirf esiliye ki by mistake agar story delete ho jaye to uski copy rhe... Jab mene CnP kiya to us vakt mene story ko edit vedit our kucch Kant chant bhi nhi ki... Uske agle din mene use acchi trahh se edit/ janch parakh ki but jab story post ki to us time bhayankar mistake ho gaii vo ye ki mene edit vale update ki jagah CnP vali copy post kar di post karne ke 2 days baad pta chla. Rules ke maddenajar post karne ke baad edit bhi nhi kar sakta tha... Khair mene bs ek formality puri karne ke liye story post ki thi so koi ghamm nhi. Btw mujhe apki story ki entry ka bdi siddhatt se intezaar tha but nirash kar diya apne ...well thnx again big vro !!!!

 

[Death Kiñg]

“Lost Soul” by sweet but psycho

Amazing.. Just amazing! That's all what I can say to sum up what you've written here! When I completed reading the story I was astonished that what a wonderful creation it is & even being one such story It wasn't much talked about. Starting off with applauding you for the hard work you put in writing it .

Esha, the main protagonist of the story, the one who is narrating everything and the one who has lost her soul. Sounds sarcastic at first but as the story started developing, Esha's thoughts and everything came up, I was able to get what she must be going through. It all started after her grandmother's death, she locked herself up in a room and that's it! That was the point I think, Esha started getting into the world of imagination!

Those imaginations, though she didn't realise what she exactly was going through but the people around her knew that everything was not well with her. I didn't like the way her family reacted to Esha's state, they could've handled it in a far better way but...

That Chapter 6, “A broken one can't broke twice!”... I think twice or thrice you used similar phrases like the one about Delhi and that was just like cherry on the top of the cake! Prateek, Esha's brother played an important role in the story, how she reacted to everything, talked about everything with Esha, I really liked his character.

Overall, it was an excellent effort by you in presenting such a complex story in a simple way and that's what shows that you're an amazing writer. Showing those emotions, or should I say Lost Emotions isn't an easy job to do but you did that quite nicely, and cheers for that!

Outstanding Story Dude! I would be really surprised if this one won't get into the top three.

 

[sweet but psycho]

Thanks vro for giving a review in such beautiful details. The story of this normal our new members has been read very rarely. Which is very regrettable. Well jo hai so hai. Thanks again vro!