★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2023 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Trinity]

Last date for posting reviews for the award of best reader is also increased, now you can post your reviews to feature in the best reader award till 15 th March 2023 11:59 Pm.You can also post your reviews After that deadline but they won't be counted for the best readers award. So Cheers.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- .....AARUSHI....
Writer :- Ankitarani

Positive points :- aapki story mujhe bahut hi jyada pasnd aayi such me. Story ka concept bikul naya tha. Story me aapne jo bhi kirdar dikhaye sub apni jagah perfect lage. Story suru se le kar ending tak bilkul flow me chli. Aapne is story ke jariye samaj ki ek aisi samasya ko samne rakha jiske bare me jante to sub hai lakin fir bhi sub isase anjaan banane ki kosis karte hai. Example ke liye bahut se log aise bhi hai jo nonveg bade chaww se khate hai. Lakin agar wahi animal unke samne kata jaye to ye scene kaiyon se dekha nahi jayega. Wo apna aakhe band karne, muh chhipane aur na jane kya kya prayas karte milenge.
Aapki story me mujhe jo Pappy wala scene tha wo sbse best laga. Bikul dil ko chhu liye us scene ne. Uske alawa bhi aapki story me bahut se yaad rakhne layak scenes the. Mithu ke jariye jo aapne comedy ka tadka lagaya wo bhi kafi acha laga. Aarushi aur Arjun ka kirdar ke bare me to jitna bhi tarif kru utha kam hai. Aapne apne lekhni se is story me such me jaan daal di hai.
Abhi kehna to aur bhi bahut kuchh hai lakin samay ki kami ke karan mai yahi viram deta hu.

Negative points :- Story ke starting me Murge ko aapne murgi bana diya. Kuch jagah word mistake bhi the. Fir Aarushi ki mammy ke sath aisa kyu hua ye baat aapne nahi batayi, ye baat bhi mujhe akhri. Iske alawa aapki story bikul perfect thi.

Best dialogue :- " Bolo mithhu bhgwan ki jai"

Conclusion :- Mere hisab se jo kamiya maine batayi agar wo na hoti to mere liye aapki story is saal ki no. 1 story hoti. Khair fir bhi aapki story me wo kabiliyat hai ki ye jarur winners list me apni jagah banayegi.
Thank you itni achi story ke liye.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Ye Ishq haaye....
Writer :- Love 1994

Positive points :- love ko kya khubsurat tarike se samjhaya hai aapne, padh kar maja hi aa gaya. Bikul sahi kaha aapne pyar me kud ki khusi se jyada mayne rakhti hai aapke pyar ki khusi. Story ka narration bahut hi kamal ka tha. Starting me aapne kuch knowledge ki bate batayi. Fir suru hui story jisme bahut hi kam sbdo me aapne bachpan se le kar jawani tak ka safar dikhaya. Uske baad story me comedy ka tadka bhi kafi jagah laga.
" aaj lakhan ki amma sarkari nal pe chudke rahegi "
Aur ye dialog read karke to mai bahut der tak hasta hi raha. Fir story ke end me akshda ki smile dekh kr Aakash ko pyar ka sahi matalb smjha me aa gaya.
Sare kirdar apni jagah bahut ache lage. Story me dost kaise hote hai hme ye bhi dikhayi diya. Aur sarkari nal ke incident jo aapne story me dikhaye wo bikul real lage. Story ka title bhi bikul sahi laga.

Negative points :- Aapki ye story bhi aapne Center me karke likhi. Agar ise normally left side me karke likhte to jyada acha lagta. Baki aapki story me mujhe koi kami nahi lagi.

Best dialogue :- " Pyar me use hasil karne se pyar safal nahi hota uske khush rehne se pyar safal hota hai "

Conclusion :- Mujhe aapki ye story aapke 1st story se kafi jayada achi lagi. Aapki ye story winners ke race me jarur rahegi.

 

[manu@84]

Story :- "अर्ध नारी" (Adultry + lesbion)
Writer :- manu@84

Positive points :- Aapne bikul hi unique aur naye topic par apni story likhi. Aur story ka narration bhi bahut Kamal ka raha. Transgender ko hamare samaj me har koi ghrina ki najro se dekhta hai. Aur jo aapne story me dikhaya hai, aisa bilkul sambhav hai ki aane wale future me aisi baate dekhne ko kafi mile. Story ke sare kirdaro ne bhi apna kaam bakhubi kiya. Story ke jariye aapne hmare samaj me kam ho rahi Female ratio Ki taraf bhi hamara dhyan kichne ki kosis ki.
Story ki sbse achi baat lagi mujhe Vishal ka kirdar jisne sub jante hue bhi kirti ko accept kiya aur pura maan samman diya.
Aaj me time me jinko transgender se pyar hai ya bahut se transgender aise hai jo apna operation karwa kar apne pasnd ki body me aa jate hai. Vishal bhi kirti ke sath aisa karwa skta tha. Wo alag baat hai story ko aisa dikhane ke liye aapne ye nahi kiya. Baki story ki ending mujhe kafi achi lagi. Ek transgender ko kahe to aapne uske sapno se bhi jyada de diya is story me.

Negative points :- Shilpa aur Kirti kab ek dusre ke prati aakarshit ho gayi ye baat sahi se nahi dikha paye aap. Sath me Shilpa ka apne bhabhi kirti ke sath wo sub karna aise bina koi phle ke aakarshan ke smjha me nahi aaya.

Best dialogue :- " कितना भाग्यशाली था वो बच्चा जिसकी दो मांएं थी! "

Conclusion :- jyada kuch na kahte hue mai bas itna hi kahunga ki Mujhe aapki story bahut hi jyada pasand aayi. Mere hisab se ye story winners ki race me honi cahiye.

बहुत बहुत शुक्रिया आभार..... अभिनंदन...

आप ही की तरह अन्य पाठक/reader ने भी यही (कृति और शिल्पा) सवाल किया है, लेकिन 7000 शब्दों की मर्यादा के रहते मै ठीक से लिख नही पाया...
माफी चाहता हूँ....

धन्यवाद....

 

[Darkk Soul]

Story- " बाप "
Writer- Riky007

Bahut acchi story hai. Emotions ko bahut sahi jagahon par use kiya hai bhai aapne. Shandaar.

Is story mei negative points agar kuch honge bhi to mujhe filhal unpe baat nahi karni. Positive - negative to chalta hi rehta hai... par yadi positive points / positivity adhik ho to negatives ko bhulaane mei koi galat baat nahi.

Isse adhik kya kahu samajh mei nahi aa raha.

Overall - Superb

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Animal
Writer :- Thakur

Positive points :- Aapki story ne mujhe Fifty shades movie ke 1st part ki yaad dila di. Usme bhi aapke story ki hi tarah hero ke sath ek woman ne ye sub kiya hota hai jiske baad wo counseling nd all se thik hota hai. The heroine uski life me aati hai. Aur wo uske sath tarah tarah ke sex karta hai. Movie ka narration kafi acha hai. Title bhi story se suit krta hai. Sex scenes aapne kafi erotic dikhaye hai. Uske baad story ke 2nd half me aapne story ko ek alg hi disha me mod diya family, company nd all. Story me do hi kirdar the aur wo dono ne apna kaam bakhubi nibahaya.

Negative points :- Kya sadi ke starting ke 3 year me Akansha ko wo nishan nahi dikhe raj ke body par.

Best dialogue :- " Tell me what will be his name ? Yours is Raj, middle ones is Viraj and youngest is Prithviraj what will be his name this time "

Conclusion :- Aapki story mujhe kafi achi lagi. Story ka level bhi mujhe high laga. Lakin is year ke USC ka level dekhte hue mujhe nahi lagta hai aapki story winners ke race me hogi.
Baki itni achi story ke liye thank you bhai.

 

[Ankitarani]

Story :- .....AARUSHI....
Writer :- Ankitarani

Positive points :- aapki story mujhe bahut hi jyada pasnd aayi such me. Story ka concept bikul naya tha. Story me aapne jo bhi kirdar dikhaye sub apni jagah perfect lage. Story suru se le kar ending tak bilkul flow me chli. Aapne is story ke jariye samaj ki ek aisi samasya ko samne rakha jiske bare me jante to sub hai lakin fir bhi sub isase anjaan banane ki kosis karte hai. Example ke liye bahut se log aise bhi hai jo nonveg bade chaww se khate hai. Lakin agar wahi animal unke samne kata jaye to ye scene kaiyon se dekha nahi jayega. Wo apna aakhe band karne, muh chhipane aur na jane kya kya prayas karte milenge.
Aapki story me mujhe jo Pappy wala scene tha wo sbse best laga. Bikul dil ko chhu liye us scene ne. Uske alawa bhi aapki story me bahut se yaad rakhne layak scenes the. Mithu ke jariye jo aapne comedy ka tadka lagaya wo bhi kafi acha laga. Aarushi aur Arjun ka kirdar ke bare me to jitna bhi tarif kru utha kam hai. Aapne apne lekhni se is story me such me jaan daal di hai.
Abhi kehna to aur bhi bahut kuchh hai lakin samay ki kami ke karan mai yahi viram deta hu.

Negative points :- Story ke starting me Murge ko aapne murgi bana diya. Kuch jagah word mistake bhi the. Fir Aarushi ki mammy ke sath aisa kyu hua ye baat aapne nahi batayi, ye baat bhi mujhe akhri. Iske alawa aapki story bikul perfect thi.

Best dialogue :- " Bolo mithhu bhgwan ki jai"

Conclusion :- Mere hisab se jo kamiya maine batayi agar wo na hoti to mere liye aapki story is saal ki no. 1 story hoti. Khair fir bhi aapki story me wo kabiliyat hai ki ye jarur winners list me apni jagah banayegi.
Thank you itni achi story ke liye.

Thnks dost apke beautiful coments k lie...
Apne kmi to kuch km ginayi hai...kuch mai btati hu...arushi ki entry wesi nhi hui jesi honi chahiye... Iski entry mujhe villan jesi krni thi...jo mene ki bhi lekin word jada ho gye to bht kuch dlt krna pda. ..murga,murgi ya ya word mistake to pkka hone uske lie mafi chahugi (mobile se typ krti hu)
Arushi ki ma bhi bs esi hi shikar hui jese or log hue the,isme kuch rahasya nhi..... Arushi ki maa ki maut ke bare kaafi kuch tha,arushi ki glani or bdle ki bhawna ka mixture bht achha tha,jo shbdo ki adhikta ke karan htana pda...

Baki mujhe ek story or likhni thi,prr smy nhi mil pata....
Mitthu ka kirdar isme bht tha,,,blki janwro ke mn ki 50% Bate mitthu k jriye hi pta lgti ..pr wo b kaatna pda....bht si glti mujhe khud lgi isme ....jo mai swikar krti hu...
Anyaway thanks ki apne itna achha review diya...

 

[Darkk Soul]

Story :- शैली
Writer :- Darkk Soul

Positive points :- Aapki ye story mujhe kafi achi lagi. Story ka narration bhi thik hi thi. Aapki story me mujhe horror to jyada feel nahi hua lakin thrill jarur ache se feel hua. Jaise jaise story aage badh rahi thi dimak me yahi chal raha tha ki ab kya hoga Shaili aur sudhir ke sath ? Dono kirdaro ka ek dusre ke liye aapar pyar bhi saaf dikhayi diya. Tabhi to Sudhi mana karne ke baad bhi room se bahar aaya.

Negative points :- Story me ek do jagah grammer ki mistakes thi. Fir sbse badi kami story ki ending lagi. Is story ko aap isase kahi jyada achi ending de skte the. Ye Jis kisi chij ne bhi shaili ko apne vash me kar rakha tha uske bare me bhi aapne koi information nahi di.

Best dialogue :- "सारे मर्द एक जैसे ही होते हैं --- बोलो कुछ, वो समझेंगे कुछ! हमेशा यही सब चलता है दिमाग में. तुम्हें सफाई देने या खुश होने की ज़रूरत नहीं है. मैं वाकई कुछ और खाने की बात कर रही थी. समथिंग वैरी टेस्टी."

Conclusion :- Mujhe aapki ye story kafi achi lagi. Lakin is year jis level ki story post hui hai USC me uske hisab se is story ko winner list me jagah to nahi mil payegi.
Ummid karunga ki next time aap in bato ko dhyan me rakh kar ek achi story post likhenge.

Aur sab to thik hai;

par ek baat bataiye mahoday, aap aaj jis gati se 1 ke bad 1 reviews de rahe hain; kya vaakai mei kahani ko sahi se padh bhi rahe hain ya aaj madhya ratri tak ka target pura karne ka jaldi hai aapko?


Ek aur baat samajh mei nahi aa rahi; "mere vichar se" keh kar jis tarah se aap apni ye baat anya readers ke mano patal par ankit karne ka prayas kar rahe hain ki 'ye story top 3 mei aayegi' , 'aur acchi ho sakti thi... par lagta nahi ki winners ki list mei aayegi'.... kya aisa karne ka moral chhuut hai? Karna / kahna sahi hai?

 

[Thakur]

Story :- Animal
Writer :- Thakur

Positive points :- Aapki story ne mujhe Fifty shades movie ke 1st part ki yaad dila di. Usme bhi aapke story ki hi tarah hero ke sath ek woman ne ye sub kiya hota hai jiske baad wo counseling nd all se thik hota hai. The heroine uski life me aati hai. Aur wo uske sath tarah tarah ke sex karta hai. Movie ka narration kafi acha hai. Title bhi story se suit krta hai. Sex scenes aapne kafi erotic dikhaye hai. Uske baad story ke 2nd half me aapne story ko ek alg hi disha me mod diya family, company nd all. Story me do hi kirdar the aur wo dono ne apna kaam bakhubi nibahaya.

Negative points :- Kya sadi ke starting ke 3 year me Akansha ko wo nishan nahi dikhe raj ke body par.

Best dialogue :- " Tell me what will be his name ? Yours is Raj, middle ones is Viraj and youngest is Prithviraj what will be his name this time "

Conclusion :- Aapki story mujhe kafi achi lagi. Story ka level bhi mujhe high laga. Lakin is year ke USC ka level dekhte hue mujhe nahi lagta hai aapki story winners ke race me hogi.
Baki itni achi story ke liye thank you bhai.

Raj ke body pe jo scarrs the wo usko shadi ke dusre din he dikhe the , tab Raj ne bola tha ke sahi time aane pe bataunga Agar time mila to issi story ka complete version bana ke 5-6 update me post kar dunga English fir hindi me
Thanks for such kind words.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Supernatural InInteligenc
Writer :- Over Lord

Positive points :- Story ka title story se mtach karta hai. Story ka concept naya tha. Story ka narration bhi kafi acha tha. Is story ke jariye phle aapne darane ki kosis ki lakin baad me pata chala ye to science ka kamal hai. Aaj ke time me movies me bhi to yahi idea kaam kar rahe hai.

Negative points :- Story darane me kamyab nahi ho payi. Kahi kahi laga story me thoda aur sudhar kiya ja sakta tha.

Best dialogue :- " I signed the contract. I mean, what’s the worst we could do with it anyway? "

Conclusion :- Mujhe aapki story kafi achi lagi. Story ka level bhi high tha. Mere hisab se story winners ki race me honi cahiye.
Ummid karta hu aage bhi aap aise hi mast story ke sath hamara manoranjan karte rahenge.

 

[Shetan]

Thnks dost apke beautiful coments k lie...
Apne kmi to kuch km ginayi hai...kuch mai btati hu...arushi ki entry wesi nhi hui jesi honi chahiye... Iski entry mujhe villan jesi krni thi...jo mene ki bhi lekin word jada ho gye to bht kuch dlt krna pda. ..murga,murgi ya ya word mistake to pkka hone uske lie mafi chahugi (mobile se typ krti hu)
Arushi ki ma bhi bs esi hi shikar hui jese or log hue the,isme kuch rahasya nhi..... Arushi ki maa ki maut ke bare kaafi kuch tha,arushi ki glani or bdle ki bhawna ka mixture bht achha tha,jo shbdo ki adhikta ke karan htana pda...

Baki mujhe ek story or likhni thi,prr smy nhi mil pata....
Mitthu ka kirdar isme bht tha,,,blki janwro ke mn ki 50% Bate mitthu k jriye hi pta lgti ..pr wo b kaatna pda....bht si glti mujhe khud lgi isme ....jo mai swikar krti hu...
Anyaway thanks ki apne itna achha review diya...

Vo best review ka contest jeet rahe ho to isme koi burai nahi he. Or vo review ke har pahelu ko darsha bhi to rahe he. Best he yaar