Fantasy Shiva the common man

[Raja thakur]

Nice updates

 

[aditya]

Awesome story

 

[wicked vicky]

Mast updates rhe ab tak.. kahani full suspense mein chal rhi hai.. bro new writer lagte ho..
Kuch suggestion de rha hoon.. Mai bhi writer hoon..

Bro starting bakhubi ki hai story ki.. update Ko chote chote paragraph mein divide krke likho..

Story mein dialogue delievary wala conversation zyada se zyada dikhao characters ka.... jisse agar kahani ka character bolta hai toh readers Ko zyada interest aata hai..

Kahani ke sare characters ka alag se update dedo.. jisse agar koi character ka Naam ya relation bhul jaye toh vo us page pe wapas jake dekh le..

Title fantasy hai.. toh superpowers bhi honge..suspense ke sath uska bhi Dhyan rakhna.. aur agar incest ka tadka lag jaye toh story mein char Chand lag jayenge...!! Kis type ki fantasy story likh rhe ho.. ye readers Ko bta do...

Kisi bhi terah ki help chahiye toh bhai Ko yaad kr Lena!!

 

[Last benchers]

Update-5

Nasta karte huye papa ne mujhe un sab se milbaya.
New characters introduction
Harsh Gupta-hamare manager
Ramsingh-hamare farm ke caretaker (yeh hamare farms aur animals ko dekhte hai)
Santa di- yeh hamare Ghar me Khana banati hai aur apni ekloti beti Sudha ke sath rehti hai Ghar me hi
Ranveer singh-police inspector
Jorabar singh-driver
Me nasta khatam hi Kar Raha tha ki ranveer Singh hamare Ghar me aata hai aur papa ko morning wish karta hai
Ranveer- sir Mene suna hai ki shiva bapas aa Gaya hai?
Papa- haa Sahi suna hai. aap batayi kya kaam hai?
Ranveer- sir Bo kya hai na abhi inki missing Ka case opne hai aur hamme bhi yeh Janna hai ki ye the Kaha par 4 Saal se.
Itna sunte hi papa ne kaha, inspector apni aukaat me raho Mera beta abhi bapas Aaya hai itne time baad aur aap abhi bhi use pareshan Karna chahate ho?
Ranveer- sir Mera aisa koi maksad Nahi tha par case toh close Karna hi hoga.
Abhi papa Kuch kehne hi baale the ki Mene unhe roka. Aur inspector se thik hai bataiye kaha chalna hai.
Ranveer- sir apko station aana Hoga baha apke Khun ki janch hogi aur apka lie detector test bhi hoga.
Mene Kaha thik hai.
Phir ranveer aur me police station Jane lage raaste me hamari koi baat Nahi hui.
Station me jaake bethe tab tak papa aur chacha bhi aa Gaye the baha ranveer me saari taiyari Karne ko Kaha.
Thode Der baad ek nurse ne aake Mera khoon Ka sample le liya.
Uske baad Mera lie detector test suru hua doctor me mujhe Kuch injections diye aur kayi saare connector mere hath pairo me laga diye Gaye uske baad ranveer ne sawal suru kiye.
Thanks for reading.....

Osmmm fantastic update Bhai.
But Bhai update kuch jayda chota hai kiw ki ek scene Mai update khtm it's not fare..
Bhai ..and Sala mujhe smjh Mai nhi bc India ki police missing person ke liye lie detector use krne lgi

 

[Raguhalkal]

Yaar jabardast do update di usko ek kardete tho.....teek hai jaise apko lage super yaar super

 

[Avir]

Nice

 

[Secretshiva1]

Mast updates rhe ab tak.. kahani full suspense mein chal rhi hai.. bro new writer lagte ho..
Kuch suggestion de rha hoon.. Mai bhi writer hoon..

Bro starting bakhubi ki hai story ki.. update Ko chote chote paragraph mein divide krke likho..

Story mein dialogue delievary wala conversation zyada se zyada dikhao characters ka.... jisse agar kahani ka character bolta hai toh readers Ko zyada interest aata hai..

Kahani ke sare characters ka alag se update dedo.. jisse agar koi character ka Naam ya relation bhul jaye toh vo us page pe wapas jake dekh le..

Title fantasy hai.. toh superpowers bhi honge..suspense ke sath uska bhi Dhyan rakhna.. aur agar incest ka tadka lag jaye toh story mein char Chand lag jayenge...!! Kis type ki fantasy story likh rhe ho.. ye readers Ko bta do...

Kisi bhi terah ki help chahiye toh bhai Ko yaad kr Lena!!

Thanks Bhai apke suggestions par dhayan doonga jaroor

 

[Secretshiva1]

Osmmm fantastic update Bhai.
But Bhai update kuch jayda chota hai kiw ki ek scene Mai update khtm it's not fare..
Bhai ..and Sala mujhe smjh Mai nhi bc India ki police missing person ke liye lie detector use krne lgi

Bhai suspence hai aage maloom padega story me..

 

[Arjun Singh 72]

awesome fabulous update
lakin bhai Jo khud kidnapped hua
uska test ho RHA hi kyu

 

[tpk]

nice one waiting for next