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Update-555(My Way)555
Humlog raat 9:30 baje Bengalore airport land hue and wahaan se baaki sab hotel gaye lekin main and Jatin nikale Shiva Reddy k residence k liye wahaan pohancha main toh gate par security forces ko apne appointment ka bataya Maine and uske baad meri checking hui and ek banda mujhe leke ghar k piche bane rest house ki taraf aaya Jatin ko bahaar he chhod diya maine and idhar woh guard gate kholke mujhe leke andar aaya toh andar hall mein Shiva Reddy or Anil dono sofa par baithey drinks ka aananad le rahe they..
Guard- Sir.. He's from Delhi.. Woh prime minister sir ne meeting fix ki thi jo..
Shiva- Who are you?? Oh.. My god.. Tum toh.. Guard gun point par lo isko...
Ye sunte he guard ne mere uppar gun taan di..
Main- Woahhh relax.. Relax.. I'm here to talk..
Shiva- We don't talk to terrorists...
Main- Damn.. Terrorist..
Anil- Yeah. Yahi naam diya haina tumhe Government Of India ne..
Shiva- Yeah.. Most wanted Person in India k saamne khaddey ho tum Anil..
Anil- Crazy.. I've heard a lot about you ..
Main- I know.. Everyone has heard a lot about me..
Anil- Why are you here??
Shiva- I know.. Humein apne sath alliance mein laane k liye aaya hai.. Issi liye toh Central government iske piche paddi hai.
Anil-Great. Toh humaara sidha jawaab hai No.. Not at all.. No..
Shiva- Yeah..
Main- But abhi toh meri deal bhi nahi suni hai aapne??
Shiva- Sunani hai bhi nahi we're happy with NDP..You can't defeat Balvant..Guard.. Isko leke jaao and police bulaake unke hawaale kardo and Central Government mein inform karwa do ki unka shikaar pakkad liya hai humne..
Main- Ok.. Relax a bit.. Suno meri baat.. I know Balvant is offering you a lot but main usase jyaada dunga.. Trust me..
Shiva- Bache.. Tum paida nahi hue they tabse raajneeti mein hain humlog.. Now Fuck Off..
Main- Arrey fir problem kya hai sun lo meri baat.. Passand naa aaye toh you can have me arrested..
Anil- Shut the fuck up..
Shiva- Yeah.. Guard what are you waiting for .. Bahaar lejaake fainkdo saale ko.. Balvant apne aap sambhaal lega isko..
Anil- Yeah..
Guard-Lets go sir... Hath uppar..
Main- Relax.. Let me talk..
Guard- Not an option.. Come on..
Usne mujhe dhakka maartey hue kaha dhakka lagte he maine mudke uske hath se gun cheeni Or woh kuch samjh paata usase pehle uske munh par diya ek bhayanak punch.. Punch lagte he woh niche girra .. Punch lagte he behosh hogaya tha woh.. Ye dekh k woh dono ki gand fatt gayi. Woh phone uthaane lage..
Main- Rukk.. Madarchod.. Rukk..
Maine gun he maari faink k Shiva ko..
Main- Ye gun utha.. And relax..
Shiva- Tum jaante ho.. Tum jaante ho kon hun main??
Main- Madarchod Tu nahi jaanta kon hun main.. Mujhe arrest karwaaega Tu.. Ye bungalow par mojjud harr shaks ko thokk dunga main teri family samett madarchod.. Bhosdk samjhta kya hai tu mujhe.... I'm a straight up killer.. Samjha.. Now shut the fuck up and listen to me..
Anil- How dare you..
Ye sunte he maine thappad maara uske munh par jisse dekh Shiva ne gun taan di mere uppar..
Main- Bhosdk.. Uthaana ashaan hai chalaana nahi.. Gand mein dum hona chahiye.. Ab chup reh warna itana maarunga madarchod.. Baitho.. Aise..good..Tu bhi Baith bhadwe..
Maine Anil ko sofa par dhakka detey hue kaha.. Main unke saamne dusare sofa par baitha..
Main- Baat sunaney mein tax lag raha tha madarchod tumhare?? Ab bhi sunega naa.. Pehle sunleta.. Ab sun.. Kya bol rahe they tum?? Balvant ko nahi harra shakta main?? Bhosdk harra chuka hun Balvant ko toh main.. Toh maa ki chut tumhari Or maa ki chut Balvant ki.. Ye dekh...
Maine woh meeting kaa screenshot dikhaya jisme sab leaders they alliance waale..
Main- 293...293 seats hain iss photo mein.. Alag alag count kar le caahe... Ab ye dekh..
Fir Maine Mumbai waali selfie dikhaai unhe..
Main- 36.. Puri 36 seats yahaan hain... Samjha.. Total. Hua 329... Madarchod tere Balvant ki maa chod chuka hun main..
Ye sunke unki aankhein khulne lagi..
Main- Yeah.. Karle total ab.. Badhiya deal leke aaya tha main tumhare liye ki mere sath aa jaao.. Balvant toh jaane waala hai.Mujhe jarurat nahi hai tumhari but acha hota 329 ki jagah 364 ho jaata...Main bahot kuch dene waala tha tumhe...Mann passand cabinet posts ,1000 crore Rupees tumhare MP's k liye..25 Crore Per MP..or 125 Crore tum dono ko alag se..Lekin nahi tumhe toh maa chudwaani hai apni.. Ab kya hoga pata hai??? Main sarkaar banaaunga Or tumhaari maa chodunga main... Kaise chodunga pata hai?? Sabse pehle toh tu aa bhosdk.. Shiva Reddy.. Nyaay ki murti.. Strictness tere khoon mein hai.. Rowdy leader... Kya kya bolte hain tere log tujhe?? Bada famous hai tu.. Nahi.. Famous main karunga tujhe... Teri woh rakhail.. Mistress.. Sector 16 mein rehti hai jo.. Uske sath tere 1 nahi 2 nahi 3 najaayaj bache.. Woh bhi bhenchod alag religion ki aurat k sath jabki tera toh moto he hai iske against.. Bhosdk.. Kya bolenge tere supporters ispe??
Ye sunke Shiva ki gand fatt gayi usne gun niche chhodi or munh faade khadda hogaya..
Main- Ye toh kuch nahi hai.. Tera bada beta.. Uski hawa he alag hai.. Bhenchod aadmi hai aadmi se pyaar karta hai woh.. Gay haina?? Attracted to boys... Young boys... Bhosdk.
Shiva ki gand fatt gayi thi awaaj naa nikal rahi thi uske munh se..
Main- Gay par nahi rukka woh ek ladka toh itana passand aagaya ki usko kidnap karke 3 maheene apne sath kaid rakha Or jab usase mann bharr gaya toh chhod aaya usko..bhosdk..Uske alawa usne last month madarchod Daru peeke gaadi chalaai Or naa keval chalaai balki accident bhi kiya 3 bhikhaari adhmarre kar diye madarchod ne.. Or tune bhenchod raaton raat laashein, accident waali gaadi Or saare saboot gayab kar diye.. Waah .. Tujhe kya laga tha kissi ko pata he nahi hai.. Bhosdk.. Teri maa chod dunga main.. Sarkaar bante he baap bete dono ko uthaake jail mein faink k maarunga Or bhen k lawdo saari jindagi bahaar nikalke dikhaa dena tum dono... Balvant ki gand chaat lena agar woh nikalwa dey toh.. Nahi nikalwa paaega kyunki tumhare side waale cell mein uski gand marr rahi hogi..
Shiva-.. Lm. Liste..listen.. Please..
Main- Chup madarchod.. Or Tu.. Tu kya baitha hai bhadwe.. Teri family konsi theek hai.. Teri beti.. Bhosdk.. Druggie .. Cocaine addict hai lawdi.. Grams mein baat karti hai.. Ek baar ko toh pakkadi bhi gayi thi naa cocaine k sath bhen ki lawdi.. Or tune usko naa keval bachaaya balki usko arrest karne waale NCB agent ko maar maar k adhmarra kar diya.. Aaj Takk paralysed hai woh.. Bhenchod.. Baap beti dono ko faink k maarunga jail mein.. Wahaan banwaaunga dealer tumhara bhen k lawde. Ek hath mein Blank Cheque or dusare hath mein pistol leke ghum raha hun main. Cheque tumne liya nahi ab pistol tumhari gand mein dunga main bhadwo.. Maa chudao apne Balvant k sath..
Ye bolke main waapis mudda wahaan se toh bhenchod gate takk pohanchney se pehle toh dono mere pairon mein girr paddey like literally mere pair pakkad k baith gaye woh. Inn dono states k most powerful shaks mere pairon mein paddey they..
Continued..
Super dhamakedar update BhaiUpdate-556(364) 556
Shiva Or Anil dono ne mere pair pakkad liye they kyunki unhe samjh aagaya tha ki main unki maa chod dunga jitane saboot mere pass they or jitani power mere pass hone waali thi uske sath main unko or unke pure priwar ko puri jindagi jail mein sadwa shakta tha..
Main- Get up.. Get up..
Maine undono ko pakkad k uthaaya..
Main- Aagaye line par?? Great.. Sunoge meri baat ab??
Shiva- Yes.. Please.. Please sit.. Bataaiye aap.. Aap jo bologe uske liye ready hain humlog..
Main wahaan sofa par baitha..
Main- So mujhe kya caahiye obviously mujhe tumhari seats caahiye jo tumlog doge, obviously deni padegi .. Uske return mein ab kya milega woh main choose karunga kyunki tumhe option dene ka time gaya ab main decide karunga.. First 1000 crore rupees same rahenge woh dunga main.. Second ye jitane bhi kand abhi bataaye hain maine ye sab ko bahaar nahi aane dunga... Haan lekin ab apne gandu family members ko sambhaal k rakho doobara aisa kuch bhi kiya toh tumlog soch bhi nahi shakte kya karunga main unke sath.. Uske baad caahta toh nahi but 1-1 cabinet ministry bhi dunga main tumhe.. Lekin ministry main he choose karunga...
Shiva- Yes.. It's fine by us sir.. Fine by us.. We are ready.
Anil- Yes.. We'll support you right now..
Main- Great.. Dekha kitana easy tha ye sab.. See.. Dumbasses.. Ok.. So jab mujhe sarkaar banani hogi main bata dunga or ussi second tum mere piche aake khaddey hoge.. Uske alawa agar kabhi bhi kissi bhi kaaran se tumhare andar mujhe dhoka dene ka khayaal aaya toh trust me I'll erase you from existence.. Saare pariwar ko aisi jail bhejunga ki roj marrne ki bheekh maangoge.. Issliye do not I repeat do not fuck me over...
Shiva- Yeah.. Yeah.. We're ok..
Anil- Ok.. Ok.. Ok..
Main- Dekha. 10 minutes ka kaam tha.. Calmly kar lene dete toh kya jaata tha tumhara... Ok chalta hun.. Laao ek selfie toh dedo..
Shiva- Sure.. Sure sir..
Main- Ok. Chalta hun.. Also.. Mujhe ek or permission caahiye details message kardi hain tujhe..
Usne apna phone check kiya..
Shiva- But sir... City k andar , this this is not possible sir..
Main- Well beta ye question nahi tha order tha.. So Tu karega kaise karega I don't care..
Shiva-Ok. Ok.. I'll make it happen..
Main-Thanks.. Take care .. Iss guard ko jagaa lo paani waani maarke..
Ab main wahaan se hanste hue nikala.. Great.. Obviously mujhe pata tha yahaan kaam ban jaaega lekin main khud caahta tha ki ye aaram se naa maane Or main fir gusse mein inki poll kholun taaki fir inki gand faadke main decide karun kab kya or kaise dena hai.. Or wahi hua so great.. Lekin ek second bhenchod.. Helicopter kiss liye karwaya be?? Bc raat ko Bengalore ka tour lega kya bhosdwaale..
2.0- I don't know. Maine nahi karwaya..
Main- Abe tum or tumhare secrets..
Wahaan se main gaadi mein aaya Jatin mera wait kar raha tha usko bataya Maine and waapis apne hotel aaye humlog toh sab log mera he wait kar rahe they..
Abeer- Kya hua bc??
Main- 364 Hua..
Ye sunke woh sab k cehre khill uthe..
Abeer- Bc I knew it Tu kar he lega.. Hell yeah.. 364 bc fucking great.. Chal fir Delhi chalke sarkaar banaa letey hain...
Main- Not yet..
Abeer- Abe bhosdk.. Fir kab?? 364 sunke logon ki gand fatt jaaegi be 10-12 baadmein hath jodke aa jaaenge 375 hogayi.. Bc.. Gand fatt jaaegi sabki..
Main- Bhosdk.. Shyaana naa ban.. Bola na abhi time nahhi aaya hai.. Dinner order kar jaldi se.Bhayanak bhookh lagi hai or Bhayanak nind aarahi hai. Nind aaj bhi puri nahi hogi bc.
Abeer- Kyun ab kahaan jaana hai bc??
Main- Kahin nahi..
Abeer- Toh nind puri kyun nahi hogi..
Main- I don't know.. Aise he bol diya hoga..
Abeer- Bhosdk aise he tu kuch bhi nahi bolta.. Kya horaha hai??
Main- Abe nahi maalum gandu.. Khaaana mangwa naa..
Jack- Mangwa diya bhai..
Main- Shabbas Jack..
Dinner Jaldi he aagaya and bhenchod bharr pait khaana khaaya humne finally..
Claire- Ek or call record ki hai boss.. Balvant or Dharmendra ki..
Main- Suna..
Claire- Sunaney jaisa kuch nahi hai.. Unhe Pata hai aapke pass paisa hai or wohlog aapka paisa dhund rahe hain kahaan hai or kaise transport horaha hai or kon kar raha hai.. Paisa dhundliya toh saboot dhund liya unhone..
Chang- Yeah.. T ka call bhi aaya tha usne bhi kaha ki investigation tej ho rahi hai..
Main- Hmmm..Wahaan 4700 they naa or 2000 jaa chuke hain.. Bache 2700...2700 .. Fit karte hain . . 1400 Tamilnadu dene hain or 1000 Karnataka mein. Total hue 2400 crorer..or 300 Telangana dedenge..
Chang- But Telangana toh gaye bhi nahi hain boss humlog..
Main-Paise se pehle chale jaaenge dont worry...Toh ek kaam kartey hain.. 300 Telangana dedenge 1000 karnatak or 1400 Tamilnadu..
Chang- Ok ye toh nikal gaye boss.. Baaki ka kya.. 2000 toh Maharashtra mein he dene hain. 400 Gujarat... Woh kahaan se laaenge??
Main- Aise toh 3000 orr dene hain according to plan.. Assam etc bhi baaki hain..
Chang- Haan toh woh kahaan se laaoge??
Main- Hum thodi laaenge 3.0 laaega..
Chang- Le aaega??
Main- Woh bhenchod 1 billion dollar le aaye.. Tu bus dekhta jaa..
Chang- Cool.. Lekin Delhi waala toh nikalwana padega saara cash jaldi..
Main- Kal subah Delhi he chalte hain wahaan karte hain uska ilaaj.. 3no jagah ek he baar mein pohanch jaaye aisa kuch karte hain..
Chang- Yeah..
Main- Ab sone dey bc..
Ye bolke main apne room mein aaya or aaya he tha ki mera phone baja jo Riya ka tha..
Main- Hanji madam..
Riya- Hii.. How are you??
Main- I'm great..
Riya- Pakka??
Main- Tumhari kasam yaar..
Riya- I'm scared AP.. Kya kya iljaam laga rahe hain woh kameene tumhare uppar.. Ghatiya log..
Main- Babe.. Babe.. Suno.. Chinta matt karo mujhe kuch nahi hone waala.. Kuch bhi nahi..
Riya- Promise??
Main- Yep.. Pakka Promise.. Tum sunaao how's everything??
Riya- Everything is good.. Just missing you a lot..
Main- Really??
Riya- Yeah.. I swear itana kabhi miss nahi kiya maine tumhe.. Maybe tum khatre mein ho issliye.. But mera mann nahi maan raha..
Main- Arrey rey rey.. Madam ji ko yaad bhi aarahi hai..
Riya- Bahot bahot bahot jyaada.. Kab miloge??
Main- Thoda saa time do fir milta hun..
Riya- Pakka ??
Main- Yep.. Suno kal subha college jaane se pehle ek baar haweli chale jaana Bhabhi or Meenu se mill lena unhe thodi tassali millegi tumse baat karke..
Riya- Sure.. Of course..
Main- Ok.. Ab chalun?? Bahot kaam hai..
Riya- Yeah.. Sorry.. Please dhyaan rakhna.. I love you..
Main- Love you More..
Call disconnected..
Haaye... I love her..
Riya se baat karte he main bed par girr padda or bhenchod nind itani ikhatha ho rakhi thi ki girrtey he nind aa gayi bhenchod.. Literally.. Lekin meri kaali jubaan pehle he bol chuki thi toh hona he tha wahi.. Kuch he derr baad mera gate bhayankar knock hua toh bhenchod mujhe uthna padda.. Gate khola toh Abeer tha..
Main- Bhosdk.. Gand faad dunga teri..
Abeer- Meri baadmein faadiyo pehle teri fattne waali hai.. Hotel Manager kaa phone aaya hai niche Neha Sharma aai hai..
Main- Kon Neha bhenchod??
Abeer- Bhosdk DIG Neha Sharma NIA se.. Teri gand maarne ko jo team bani hai uski leader.. Uske sath sath teri purani setting Shruti Sandhu bhi sath hai bhenchod CBI waale bhi hain.. Pure avengers assemble horahe hain bhenchod niche.. Manager ne warrant maanga hai tabhi andar aane dega yaani 20-25 minutes hai humaare pass bhosdk.. Chaaron taraf se gherr liya hai humein..
Main- Ok.. Fuckkk.. Fuckkk..
Continued..