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"Xforum Valentine Story Contest - 2019 :- Reviews Thread"
- Thread starterMischief
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Door bell of tears
Quite good attempt buddy! You presented a small loving incident(Anniversary) very significantly through your story. A small and beautiful story depicting love of a couple even after 5 years of marriage. Conversation part and the descriptions of thoughts are presented in a very nice way. But, you could have written more. Story seems a bit small but still a beautiful read. Keep it up, would love to read more from you and next time a long one.
Quite good attempt buddy! You presented a small loving incident(Anniversary) very significantly through your story. A small and beautiful story depicting love of a couple even after 5 years of marriage. Conversation part and the descriptions of thoughts are presented in a very nice way. But, you could have written more. Story seems a bit small but still a beautiful read. Keep it up, would love to read more from you and next time a long one.
anandsngh12
Well-Known Member
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Dad & Son
Bahut hi behtareen kahani hai....Sahaj ne jis tarah se Rahul ki parwarish ki vo kabile tarif hai...Lekin vo kahte hain na ki aurat narak ka dwar hai....yaha bhi kuch aisa hi hua hai...Jab Vishwamitra jaise rishi muni ki tapasya ek apsara ko dekhte hi bhanga ho sakti hai to bechara sahaj is se kaise achhuta rah pata...vo bhi ulajh gaya nisha ki zulfo me...aur apne liye nark ka darwaja khol liya.....awesome narration...from my side 10 off 10 marks.
Bahut hi behtareen kahani hai....Sahaj ne jis tarah se Rahul ki parwarish ki vo kabile tarif hai...Lekin vo kahte hain na ki aurat narak ka dwar hai....yaha bhi kuch aisa hi hua hai...Jab Vishwamitra jaise rishi muni ki tapasya ek apsara ko dekhte hi bhanga ho sakti hai to bechara sahaj is se kaise achhuta rah pata...vo bhi ulajh gaya nisha ki zulfo me...aur apne liye nark ka darwaja khol liya.....awesome narration...from my side 10 off 10 marks.
Rohan008
Active Member
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Is pyaar ko kya naam dun
NO words
Brilliant story
Waise to is pyaar vyaar main maanta nhi
Yhan ladke ne apna sab kuch kho diya
Acha laga ye dekh kar
NO words
Brilliant story
Waise to is pyaar vyaar main maanta nhi
Yhan ladke ne apna sab kuch kho diya
Acha laga ye dekh kar
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bahot shukriya Anand bhai iss review ke liye. aaap ne bilkool 100% sahi kaha. meri ye kahani isi vishay par hai ke ek aurat agar chahe to ghar bassa sakti hai varna ujaar bhi sakti hai. iss mein main ne ek eisa baap ka zikr kiya jissne apne khud ki jawwani quarbaan kiya apne ek laute bete ke liye magar ussi laute bete ko kho diya ek aurat ke pyar mein aakar. kitne jatan se pala hua beta jo ek dost ki tarah jeeta tha apne baap ke saath ek choti si action kia dekh liya apne baap ko uss ladki ke saath jissko wo chahta tha aur achaanak bawla sa hokar bhaagne laga aur chal diye. kuch logon ko shaayad eitraaz hai ke main ne kyun sex part add kiya magar wo kahani ke liye bahot zaroori tha uss action ko bete ko dikhane ke liye sab readers ko pata chalna chahiye the ke kamre mein kia ho raha hai issi liye ussko action ko vistaal mein likha varna isski koyi zarurat to nahin thi.
main aap ki kahani ko din mein padhke zaroor apna review dunga bhai. thanks very much.
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