★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Fighter]

Haivan (the devil)
by - Abhay smarty

story title k roop m hi likhi gyi h haivan sach m devil hi tha sb kamaal ka likha kuch baato chhod kr sb mast tha maa bete k pyaar ko dikhaya jisse rajo aage mar nhi khayega

ydi raju un ladko k marne ki wajah se khooni bna lekin repist kyo ?

jb pandit ji ko mara gya usk bare newspaper ya news m nhi aaya jisse use pta chl sake

last m mantri ne usk sath galat kiya to usse badla kyo nhi liya shyd isliye ab kis k liye vo y krta

 

[Fighter]

Dangee
by harshit

sach m story m dange k vo roop dikhaya h jo real m kabi b news m ya newspaper m nhi btaya jata

isme insano m chhupe shaitan k bare m btaya jo ese time b jaha logo ki madad k liye ho waha jism ko nochane k bare m dekhte h vo y b nhi dekhte isme koyi apna b sikar ho sakta h

bas story har jagah sirf jism k bhuke janwaro k bare m dikhaya h lekin dango m sirf esa hi nhi hota jaha b jao wahi y chl rha ho

 

[Fighter]

Rahasyamai Highway (BE WARNED !)
By - Rbcl



achhi story h y sach h ki jb kisi k sath din raat esa hoga ya fir vo kesi b jagah ho jaha din raat koyi kaam usk sath hoga to uska asar ya uski mentality b vesi hi ho jati h

pr y sb ese sayico kabi change nhi ho sakte kya , kya inka koyi ilaj nhi ?

 

[Fighter]

प्यार-झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
by - akki


sach m aaj kal log y roj k jhagdo m gusse m esa kr jate h jisse unk bich duriya itani ho jati h jo chahkr b kam nhi hoti
esa mai hume sirf apne bado ki salah leni chahiye kyoki unke pas life ka experience hota h jo hinashi k dad ne kiya

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

प्यार-झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
by - akki


sach m aaj kal log y roj k jhagdo m gusse m esa kr jate h jisse unk bich duriya itani ho jati h jo chahkr b kam nhi hoti
esa mai hume sirf apne bado ki salah leni chahiye kyoki unke pas life ka experience hota h jo hinashi k dad ne kiya

 

[Rahul]

प्यार-झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
by - Akki ❸❸❸

wonderfull story hai bhai jahan pyar hota hai wahan ladai bhi hoti hai lekin behtar hai jab man shant ho to ego ki kinare karke apne us sathi ko wapas apne se mila lena..galti sabse ho jati baat ka batangad ban jata hai waise story me father ka roll bahut positive tha usne sahi baat sahi dhang se samjha diya usko..badhai ho dost meri best wishes aapke sath hain aur mai aapko jaise sabko deta hun 10/10 khus raho

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

प्यार-झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
by - Akki ❸❸❸

wonderfull story hai bhai jahan pyar hota hai wahan ladai bhi hoti hai lekin behtar hai jab man shant ho to ego ki kinare karke apne us sathi ko wapas apne se mila lena..galti sabse ho jati baat ka batangad ban jata hai waise story me father ka roll bahut positive tha usne sahi baat sahi dhang se samjha diya usko..badhai ho dost meri best wishes aapke sath hain aur mai aapko jaise sabko deta hun 10/10 khus raho

ty bhai ji

 

[lone_hunterr]

प्यार-झगड़ा
(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
by - Akki ❸❸❸

Story choti thi par bhut achi thi. Gusse mein uthaye gaye kadam jeevan bhar ki pareshani khade kar sakte hai. Patni pe hath uthana bhut galat hai aur jaldibazi mein liya gaya ghar chodna ka faisla bhi. Par pita ki samjhdaari aur seekh ne shayad ek rishte ko bacha liya. Family ke elders bhut important part hote hai family ka....
Alag tarah ki story hai bhut vese akki bhai agar aap complete word limit ka use karte aur thode bhut twists dalte to aur acha hota like fight thodi jyada detail mein hoti ya phir wife ghar chod ke chali jati and father husband ko vaha bulake dono ko smjhate to acha hota. But still a great attempt

 

[Aakash.]

प्यार-झगड़ा (एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)
First of all I want to thank you for writing a new story and participating in the competition.
Your story is very well written and simple. The story is of a married couple. The thread of the relationship is very delicate and has to be handled, which is very well told in this story.
Himanshi's father played an important role in this story. It is the duty of parents to help their children in every difficulty and to teach right. We must take a thoughtful decision.
Man's life is also like two sides of the coin, darkness-light, happiness-sorrow.
Your story was short and sweet. I sincerely hope you win this competition. I didn't get bored reading the story, the title of the story is perfect for the story.
Thank You...
???​

 

[Chutiyadr]

Story - Dangee



Link- https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...test-2020-entry-thread-★☆★.16291/post-1480409



Writer- harshit1890



About story-

Jandaar aur shandar

Social plot par bani ek bahut hi achche se narrate ki gayi story , padh kar dil khus ho gaya ..

Is contest ki yahi to khasiyat hai ki achchi achchi stories padhne ko milti hai ..

Flow aisa tha ki kahi bhi tuta nahi , narration bahut hi achcha tha ,

Dangree apne aap me hi ek sensitive topic hai , usme kai haniya samaj ko uthani padhti hai , sabse jyada jis chij ki haani hoti hai wo hai samaj ke naitikta ki , bas usi naitaikta ke lutane ki kahani is story me dekhne ko milti hai ..



Kuchh line mujhe bahut pasand aayi

Ek pal man mein khayal aya ki mene kya galti ki thi? Par sawalon se jazbat nahi dhake jate, hakikat chupai nahi jati vo to zindagi se jud jate hain bas zakhmon jaise nishan nahi chhod jate. Roti hui ankhon ke ansu bhi ab thak gaye the isliye bich bich mein bund hi gir kar reh jati. Jhadiyan chalti hawa ki taraf hilte hue aage jatti aur phir vapis piche aa jati, kash mei bhi aise apni zindagi ko hawa ke sath piche le sakti.

bahut hi badiya lines

Ansu se ankhein is kadar bhar chuki thi ki zindagi dhundli ho gayi thi lekin ansu bhi hamare jeevan ki izat jaisi hote hain ek hi pal mein utar jate hai.

Wah

Bar-bar nazar asman ki taraf hi uth rahi thi jahan sirf tabhi uthti thi jab ya to sardi mein dhup ki tapat khojni ho ya phir baarish ki bundon ke liye.

Yahi to hota hai dango mein log mudde se hatt apni zindagi ki hawas aur gussa dusron par utarte hue aage badh jate hai.

bahut sahi chij likhi hai dost



Ager kamiyo ki bat ki jaye to is story me kami dhundhana bada muskil tha , sivay ek ke ki dangee ke sabhi pahluo me se kewal ek ko hi chuna gaya tha ,lekin last aate aate laga ki ye bhi thik hai kyoki shayd writer ek hi pahlu ko dikhana chahte the ..

Aur ek kami thi lekin ise kami nahi kahunga , ye thoda funny hai ki itane achche writing skill ke sath bhi writer ne chhodna ki jagah par chodna likha hai

Khair roman likhne walo se hone wala ye sabse common mistake hai so ignore kiya ja sakta hai

Note for writer –

Harshit bhai aisi badiya story ke liye aapka dhanywad , bahut hi sensitive plot ko bahut hi achche tarike se dikhaya aapne , aapne jis tarah se story narrate ki wo style bhi mujhe bahut pasand aaya…

Best of luck for contest ?