★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Champ_AK_81]

Story Title:- कलंक

Writer:- Romeo 22

Review within a sentence:- Great tragedy with unexpected ending.

Really impressive Romi sir. Aapka wo tragedy wala jo part tha uska narration bahut hi accha laga...Writing me aur words selection me wo taakat tha ki mai bhi iss dard ko mehsoos kar paa raha tha.

Padhte vakt aisa bhi laga ki shayad Mannu aur Nandini mil jaaye koi aisa jaadu ho jaaye...Lekin aapne realistic hi rehne diya...Aur unki kahani ek adhuri dard bhari kahani hi reh gayi.

Sahi hai...Bahut se aise pyar hote hai jinka anjaam aisa hi hota hai...Paise, jaati, dharm ke saamne ishq kamjor sa pad jaata hai...Aur aapne bahut acche tarike se ye dikhaya Mannu aur Nandini ke bhaaw se.

Geet ko bhi aapne sahi jagah par sahi vakt me sahi tarah se rakha hai jisse story padhne me aur bhi accha laga.

Kahani ka dusra bhaag.

Totally unexpected...Mannu ek fakir ban gaya Nandini ki yaadon me...Aur ussi ishq me tadapta jindagi gujaar diya...Sach me ishq kabhi kabhi itna kathor ban jaata hai.

Aur Nandini ka poonarjanm...Apne aadhe adhure ishq ko puraa karne ki...Jo kabhi pura nahi ho paaya...Aur har baar ki tarah bich raaste me hi dam tod gaya...Abb toh sachme mai bhi aisa sochta hoon ki "Kya sach me wo ishq kalank tha?"

Limitations:- Agar aap ending ke part ko thoda aur dikhaate thhe story aur bhi accha hota (Maybe)

Overall:- A great story to read filled with emotions, twist and unpredictability...Aap ka story me sabse accha ye baat lagta hai ki aap har naye topic par love based stpry likhte hai...Keep it up sir.

All the best for contest.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story Title:- ISHQ WALA LOVE

Writer:- The Blue Prince

Great story Blue Prince bhai...1st time aap ka koi story padha...Aur bahut hi accha laga... Beginning se le kar ending tak enjoy kiya story ko.

Aapka story ka sabse bada strength aapka narration laga...Ek hi flow me bahut acche se narrate kiya story ko (each and every part of story)...Words selection aur dialogues bhi kaafi acche thhe.

Rahul aur Ishika ka pyar ka description aur feelings

Aur ending me wo kadhwa sach ...Hamesha se aise log pyar ka dushman bante aaye hai aur rahenge.

And ending was impressive too...Jab bhi ham kisi se sacche dil se pyar karte hai toh pyar me hadd se gujar jaate hain hai agar wo saath naa ho to chhoti chhoti baaton me unhe dhundne ki koshish karte hai.

All the best for contest bhai.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story Title:- मोक्ष (प्यार, नफरत और डर)

Writer:- kamdev99008

Pehli baar aapka kahani padha hai Kamdev bhai...Bahut hi accha laga yeh story padh kar.

Aapne story me Ravi ki life ko 4 parts me dikhaya...Pyar, Nafrat, Dar aur Moksh.

Sabhi parts ko aapne bahut acche se describe kiya...Especially Moksh ...Aur saath hi Ravi ka emotions, uska badlaaw ko bhi.

Iss story me sabse accha part ye laga ki Ravi ka apne Maa ke liye pyar...Maa ke thukraane ke baad bhi agli janm me Maa ki pyar paane ka ummeed.

Ravi ka jindagi, sabhi ristedaar ke saath ka relation aur saath hi Radha aur apne Maa ke liye pyar...Bahut acche se aapne inn sabhi cheejon ko likha hai.

Gehraai se padhe toh aapka har kirdaar ka dialogues ka apna hi matlab hai...Aur bahut sahi tarah se aapne likha.

Bas Maa ke alawa sabhi characters pasand aaye...Bete ko galat hote toh kayi baar suna aur dekha hai lekin yaha toh ek Maa hi...(Maa Kaushal aur baaki ke baccho ke liye toh acchi hi thi par Ravi?)

Aur kami ki baat karu toh jyada kuch nahi...Agar character (Mausi) ke baare me thoda confusion hota hai...Kuch vakt toh samajhne me hi lag gaya...Uske baad sab sahi chala.

Overall:- A great story to read...Impressive.

All the best for contest.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story:- THE LUNCH BOX STORY

Writer :- Damha

Superb story Damha (Ahmad) bhai...Padhte vakt suru me jo muskaan tha wo aakhir tak raha.

Arman yaa fir Dr. Arman uski baatein chahe wo bachpan ka ho yaa fir Dr. banne ke baad hontho me muskaan hi laata hai aur story se baanfhe rakhta hai.

Arman ka Raheela Madam ki sawaalo ka jawaab dikhata hai ki wo apne Maa, Papa aur Didi se kitna respect karta hai...Unki khatir unki taklif dekh itni chhoti umar me bhookha rehna sikh gaya.

Aur Raheela madam ka uske liye pyar aur fikar dikhata hain ki kitni acchi hai wo...Sirf ek teacher se badh kar.

Vakt ne Arman ko itna kuch sikhaya ki vakt se pehle hi wo mature ho gaya jo uski baatein dikha raha tha.

Aise haalat hote hue bhi wo sirf aage hi badhta raha...Aur apni haalat ko apne sapno ka rukawaat banne nahi diya.

Aur aakhir me Dr. Arman aur Raheela madam ki baatein...Mohobbat ka koi keemat nahi hota...Dil ko chhu gaya.

Aur Madam ke sath wo "Tit for Tat" but in positive sense.

Overall:- Great story and great thinking which shows humanity in the whole story.

Alll the best for contest Ahmad bhai.

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - Delusion
By harshit1890 aka Harshit Bhai

First of all thank you for this wonderful story
Mai apki story ko review du ye ek ghustakhi hogi , isliye pehle hi maafi Chahta Hu .
Story Ka title hi attract karta hai story padhne ke liye, plot superb , narration awwal number .
Ek Baar story padhni suru ki toh ant tak kab pohanch Gaya pata hi Nahi Chala , ye keh sakte hai story Mai dub sa Gaya tha , aur story khatam hone ke baad bhi story dimaag Mai ghumati rahi , brilliantly executed .
Suru Mai Aisa laga Jaise koi superpower mil Gayi ho saksham ko but Jo end Diya hai that was perfect with every calculation .
Story Mai koi Kami Nahi , everything done with point perfection .
Mujhe apki ye peshkas Bohat Pasand aayi ,
Once again thank you for this wonderful story
Best of luck for contest

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - Waqt Ki Ghadi
By Avi

First of all thank you for your lovely story.
Kahani ek fantasy plot par base hai , waqt ki ghadi title perfectly fits for story , narration Acha hai , ek Baar padhna suru Kiya to ant kab hua pata hi Nahi Chala , flow shandaar hai.
Bas thoda detail ke sath likhte toh aur jyada Maza aata padhne Mai.
Mujhe apki ye peshkas Pasand aayi
Once again thank you for your lovely story.
Best of luck for contest

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story Title:- AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)

Writer:- The Immortal

Different love story!!!

Story ka first part jo love based tha...Usse padh kar sach me maja aa gaya...Dono ka ek dusre ki taraf attraction aur baat cheet ko aapne jaise dikhaya uske liye ek .

Aur kahani me achanak se thrill aa jaata hai...Jo hame story se aakhir tak baandhe rakhta hai...Kalpana ka first boyfriend ke baare me pata chalne ke baad unka haaw bhaaw aur emotions ko bahut acche tarike se aapne dikhaya.

Aur jo chhoti chhoti idea tha jisse dono Kalpana ka 1st boyfriend dhundne lage wo kaafi accha laga...Great planning.

Aur rahi kuch kamiyan...Toh jyada kuch soch nahi paaya kamiyon ke baare me...Ronnie aur Anni ki taraf mera bhi dimaag fuse ho gaya...Par ek limitation mujhe ye laga ki maine story ko thoda jaldi hi predict kar liya.

Jab dono Kalpana ke 1st boyfriend ko dhund rahe thhe toh dimaag me ek baat aaya....Shayad wo Amar hi hai aur dono ka ek hi tim accident hua hai...Vajah ye hai ki dono ko same beemari hai...Aur Central Nervous System ka jyadatar beemari Trauma (Injury) se hi hota hain...Aur dono ka case similar hi hain...Iss chakkar me main story ko enjoy karne ke saath sath iss baat ka bhi intejaar karne laga ki kab pata chalega wo ladka Amar hi hai...Lekin aapka jo jlanning aur narration tha wo story ko interesting banaye rakha.

Kul mila kar...It was a great romantic thriller story to read...Story ke har part ko enjoy kiya.

All the best for contest.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story Title:- MITTI KI KHUSHBU

Writer:- Chutiyadr

Doctor Sahab ki dusri story ko aaj padha...1st story VSC mein jisse review nahi kar paaya tha.

Deshbhakti aur Mitti ke liye pyar par based iss story ko padh bahut accha laga.

Thanks to your Writing Style which makes story more enjoyable.

Raam Singh...Aur unka dono role...Ek Army aur dusra Kisaan...Aur unke karm ko bhi bahut acche se dikhaya.

Ek Army ki roop me...Aapne ye bataya ki deshbhakti kya hota hai...Aur desh ke har naujawan me desh ke liye kya soch hoti hai aur honi chahiye...Aur ek kisaan ke roop me...Ye dikhaya ki kisan aur unki kheti ka kya mahatwa hai...Agar kisaani hi nahi toh baaki sab kaam ka koi matlab nahi.

Aur karm ke alawa aapne emotion bhare part ko bhi acche se dikhaya...Raam Singh...Ek Army ki roop me toh unhone apna karm acche se nibhaya...Lekin aapne ye bhi dikhaya ki aakhir wo bhi ek insaan hai...Ek Pitaa hai aur Ek Dada hai...Jo apne desh ke saath saath apne beta aur Pota se bhi pyar karte hain...Unka emotions bhi bahut acchi tarah se dekhne ko mila aur padh kar bahut accha laga.

Dard aur Garv ki bich ki ladaai bhi bahut acche se dikhaya aapne aur saath hi unko saath me le kar chalna bhi.

Last but not the least...Teri Mitti song...Sahi jagah par aapne iss gaana ko story me likha.

It was a great story to read.

All the best for contest.

 

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW

STORY - The Devil Who Destroyed My Life

WRITER- Casinar

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-739000

PLOT – buri adato ka shaitan kisi bhi jindagi kharab karne ke liye kaafi hota hai ,aur agar ye adat nashe ki ho to insan khud to tabah karta hi hai pure pariwar ko bhi barbad kar deta hai ,

Mujhe englis stories ki jyda samjh nhi hai to main nahi kah sakta ki narration kaisa tha ,lekin padne me flow bahut hi achcha laga ,plot bhi bahut hi achcha tha kyoki aisi stories yanha jyda likhi nahi jaati isliye ise aap unique plot kah sakte hai..

Avinash ko khud ko aur apne pariwar ko tabah karte hue dekhna sach me dukhad hai ,khaskar shanaya ke liye dukh hota hai ,ant bilkul unexpected laga,kisi maa ke liye apne bete ko maar dena itani badi bat ho sakti hai ye ham soch bhi nahi sakte ,lekin jab samne beta nhi shaitan khda ho to ek maa ka dil bhi pasij sakta hai ,khaskar uska dil apni bahu ke liye dukhta hoga jo ki avinash se itana pyar karti thi ki har jabrdasti ke bad bhi usne avinash ke sath rahne ka faisala kiya ….



NOTE FOR WRITER – casi bhai English story thi isliye thode late se padha,aur ek hi sans me pura padh bhi liya ,ye story mujhe ek alag hi zone me le gayi,jo ek achchi story ki asali nishani hai ..thanks for this type ki story ,jo jivan ke jamini hakikat ko baya karti hai ...

Best of luck for contest….

 

[Chutiyadr]

Story Title:- MITTI KI KHUSHBU

Writer:- Chutiyadr

Doctor Sahab ki dusri story ko aaj padha...1st story VSC mein jisse review nahi kar paaya tha.

Deshbhakti aur Mitti ke liye pyar par based iss story ko padh bahut accha laga.

Thanks to your Writing Style which makes story more enjoyable.

Raam Singh...Aur unka dono role...Ek Army aur dusra Kisaan...Aur unke karm ko bhi bahut acche se dikhaya.

Ek Army ki roop me...Aapne ye bataya ki deshbhakti kya hota hai...Aur desh ke har naujawan me desh ke liye kya soch hoti hai aur honi chahiye...Aur ek kisaan ke roop me...Ye dikhaya ki kisan aur unki kheti ka kya mahatwa hai...Agar kisaani hi nahi toh baaki sab kaam ka koi matlab nahi.

Aur karm ke alawa aapne emotion bhare part ko bhi acche se dikhaya...Raam Singh...Ek Army ki roop me toh unhone apna karm acche se nibhaya...Lekin aapne ye bhi dikhaya ki aakhir wo bhi ek insaan hai...Ek Pitaa hai aur Ek Dada hai...Jo apne desh ke saath saath apne beta aur Pota se bhi pyar karte hain...Unka emotions bhi bahut acchi tarah se dekhne ko mila aur padh kar bahut accha laga.

Dard aur Garv ki bich ki ladaai bhi bahut acche se dikhaya aapne aur saath hi unko saath me le kar chalna bhi.

Last but not the least...Teri Mitti song...Sahi jagah par aapne iss gaana ko story me likha.

It was a great story to read.

All the best for contest.

Champ_AK_81
review ke liye bahut bahut sukriya champ bhai..aap jaise writer jab aapki stroy ko pasand karte hai to dil se bhaut hi khusi hoti hai .. aapko story pasand aayi yahi mere liye bahut badi bat hai ,dhanywad again bhai