★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Naina]

Story =Anjel Priya

Writer = Rahul
bina soche samjhe kisi pe vishvaas kar lena woh bhi aaj ke jamane mein, iska parinaam kitni ghatak ho sakti hain.... iski stayata ko writer sahab ne kuch sabdo ke jariye hi humare samne pesh ki hain...

Aaj ke jamane mein online friendship aam si baat ho gayi hain... aur mobile mein Internet suvidha hone ke baad iski izaafa badhti hi jaa rahi hai....
online kayi logo friendship ho kar lete hai .. aur yeh friendship kabhi kabhi gahri bhi ho jati hai... lekin iska matlab yeh nahin ki logo pe aankh mud ke vishvaas kare... jab hum samne khade insaan ke mann kya chal raha ye tak jaan nahi pate, yeh toh bahot dur ki baat hai.... priya ne mata pita ke barso ki laad pyar sneh ko pair tale kuchalkar ek anjan se rishta jodne chali gayi... natiza uske samne hai... ushe toh sudhrne ki ek mauka mil gayi par kya har kisiko milti hai... isliye ishe mahaz manoranjan tak simit rakhe toh behtar hain..
Writer sahab ne aaj jamane ki bahot hi mahatvapoorn vishay ko ek kahani ke jariye humare samaks laye uske liye unko tahe dil se Sukriya....
So Rahul ji Brilliant update with awesome writing skills

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

Dangee
writer- harshit1890

bhout bdiya story h sir ji (apki tmkoc ka fan ?
Best of luck for the contest

 

[Chutiyadr]

Gand ka showroom by chutiyadr

Waise main sahi bataun to mere liye ye pahla anubhaw tha jab main is tarah ki koi story padh raha tha... Dark comedy ke sath sath dark naked comedy bhi thi...

About writing :- achi writing skill hai aap ki lekin ise thoda aur improvement ki jaroorat hai... Comedy ko shabdon me utarana aasan nahi hota aur jab sab jaan rahe hain ki story comedy hi hogi tab usme jo emotional scene hote hain na usme mehnat ki jaroorat lagti hai warna wo feel.nahi hote .. jaise ki sarita, Raju aur lila ke emotional scene ke sath hua...

Storyline:- dark humour story jo bilkul ek lay me chalti hai.. short story ke hisab se perfect words me likhi gayi aur logon ko hasane wali bhi... Lekin kahani ke hisab se dekha jaye to sirf aur sirf bas ek aakhri ka scene kahani feel karwata hai baki ek lay hai jisme comedy aur emotions dale gaye hain...

Note:- visay ko chun'na short story me ati aasyak hai... Jis hisab se aap ne ye story likhi hai .. is se he to pata chalta hai ki aap ko short story likhne ka anubhaw hai ... Isliye anurodh hai ki ek aur story de aur uske kuch sensitive vishay jaroor de...

Positive point:- dark comedy ho, simple comedy ho, romantic comedy ho, ya horror comedy ho.. comedy genera hi likhna apne aap me sarahniya hai... Uske alawa short story ek perfect shape me hai jahan limited shabdon me puri story likhi gayi aur kahin bhi ye feel na hua ki words ka misuse kiya gaya hai...

Negative point:- lacking of strong storyline... Emotional scenes thode aur touchy hone chahiye the..

Overall points :- 7 (2 for your writing skill, 2 for your presentation, 1 for successful effort in comedy, 2 for your story line)

nain bro
main serious aur thriller stories likh likh kar pak gaya tha to socha kuchh alag kiya jaaye aur ye samne aaya
aapne sahi kaha humor likhna sala bahut kathin kaam hai , aur situational comedy likh rahe ho to emotional scene me bhi comedy aani chahiye tabhi maja aata hai ..
jaise wo gana hai na .. heer to badi sad hai ... kya likha hai irshad kamil sahab ne
usme situation sad hai lekin song ke bol sunkar hansi aa jati hai , aur usi movie me fir ager tum sath ho bhi likha hai ... ise kahte hai writer
bas aisa hi ek chhoti si koshis thi ye bhi ..
aise iska naam dekhkar hi kai log ise sex sotry samjh kar nahi padh rahe hai
aapne padha aur isme lagne wali mehnat aur skills ko samjha iske liye aapko dhanywad

 

[Chutiyadr]

Ty so much dr sahaab... Aapki paarkhi nazar se kuch nahu bach sakta movie aap bhi bhut dekhte ho... ???

Rahi baat story ki toh aapne padhi hi hai .. story ka track bhut alag hai movie se kuch jayada hi... Bhut saare changes kiye hai maine jisse kahi se bhi yeh copy na lage jo ki hai bhi nahi....

At last story me mistake maine words ko kai baar check karwaaya tha fir bhi fass gya mai... Shayad likhte likhte thak gya... Ty for informing... Sab fix kar diya hai maine.... Jo ki change ho jayega...

At the end keep supporting me.. i am always there to support you.... ??

main bhi movies ka keeda hua bro
bhasha bhale hi na samjh aaye likin sab type ki movies dekh dalta hu

 

[Chutiyadr]

Story - Anjel priya



Link-

https://xforum.live/threads/%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2020-entry-thread-%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85.16291/post-1489624

Writer- Rahul



About story-

Ek nadan ladki ki nadani par base ye story ek sikh deti hai ki online pyar online hi kiya jaaye to thik hai , real life ke liye real life me logo ki jankari hona bahut jaruri hota hai

Montry ko bhi ciber cell wale pakad lete to sahi ending ho jati ?

Note for writer –

Rahulwa bhai story ke liye badhai ho ,

Lekin Bhai ye story thi ki kya tha

Thoda bada hi likh lete :

Thoda detail se likhte to maja aata , agali story aur daal do thoda detail se likhkar …

Best of luck for contest ,ye likhta lekin 800 word se kam hai story

 

[Rahul]

Story - Anjel priya



Link-

https://xforum.live/threads/%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2020-entry-thread-%E2%98%85%E2%98%86%E2%98%85.16291/post-1489624

Writer- Rahul



About story-

Ek nadan ladki ki nadani par base ye story ek sikh deti hai ki online pyar online hi kiya jaaye to thik hai , real life ke liye real life me logo ki jankari hona bahut jaruri hota hai

Montry ko bhi ciber cell wale pakad lete to sahi ending ho jati ?

Note for writer –

Rahulwa bhai story ke liye badhai ho ,

Lekin Bhai ye story thi ki kya tha

Thoda bada hi likh lete :

Thoda detail se likhte to maja aata , agali story aur daal do thoda detail se likhkar …

Best of luck for contest ,ye likhta lekin 800 word se kam hai story

ye story apan majaak me likh diya bhai agar dusri story diya to sari sikayat door kar dunga

 

[Rahul]

Story =Anjel Priya

Writer = Rahul
bina soche samjhe kisi pe vishvaas kar lena woh bhi aaj ke jamane mein, iska parinaam kitni ghatak ho sakti hain.... iski stayata ko writer sahab ne kuch sabdo ke jariye hi humare samne pesh ki hain...

Aaj ke jamane mein online friendship aam si baat ho gayi hain... aur mobile mein Internet suvidha hone ke baad iski izaafa badhti hi jaa rahi hai....
online kayi logo friendship ho kar lete hai .. aur yeh friendship kabhi kabhi gahri bhi ho jati hai... lekin iska matlab yeh nahin ki logo pe aankh mud ke vishvaas kare... jab hum samne khade insaan ke mann kya chal raha ye tak jaan nahi pate, yeh toh bahot dur ki baat hai.... priya ne mata pita ke barso ki laad pyar sneh ko pair tale kuchalkar ek anjan se rishta jodne chali gayi... natiza uske samne hai... ushe toh sudhrne ki ek mauka mil gayi par kya har kisiko milti hai... isliye ishe mahaz manoranjan tak simit rakhe toh behtar hain..
Writer sahab ne aaj jamane ki bahot hi mahatvapoorn vishay ko ek kahani ke jariye humare samaks laye uske liye unko tahe dil se Sukriya....
So Rahul ji Brilliant update with awesome writing skills

naina ji meri story se achcha to aapka review hai aap best reader ho isme koi sak nahi mujhe

 

[Rahul]

Anjel Priya
By : Rahul

Story kaafi thik thak thi..kuch stories choti hokar bhi kaafo damdaar hoti hain..lekin ye kuch jada hee choti lagi
Baki jada kuch nahi hai kehne ko..bas yahi samhaj aay ki kaise jaldbaji mein aur jazbaati hokar liye gaye faisle kaafi had tak galat hee hote hain..isliye soch samhaj kar koi faisla lena chaiye
Try karo Rahul bhai ki thoda word limit ko dhyan mein rakhte hue..fir se post karo story.
All the best

bilkul sahi baat

 

[Rahul]

Anjel priya
smartphone

writer - Rahul bhai

kahani bhot bdiya hai,.

Aj kal ke pyaar ka yahi chutiyapa hai

duniya badi chirandh hai,
duniya badi chirandh

 

[Chutiyadr]

Story - Fake feminism



link-

★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Entry Thread ★☆★

Gand ka showroom Genre – adult dark situational comedy

xforum.live

Writer- Akki ❸❸❸



About story-

Kya yar

Achchi story ban sakti thi ager thoda detail me jaya jata to ..

Flow badiya chal raha tha lekin bahut hi short cut me hi nipta diya ..

Aur bhai sirf kapde fadane se rape ka case nahi banta wo attempt or rape ka case banta , wo bhi medical janch bhi hoti hai

Note for writer –

Yar akki 3 bar 3 bhai bahut hi sort kar diya story ko , lagta hai aapne sort story ko ke sort ko thoda jyda serious le liya

Fake feminism ek bada topic hai aur ispar ek bahut hi badiya story likhi ja sakti hai , aapne bahut hi jalbaaji kar di ise likhne me ..

Koi nahi kabhi aur likhna is topic ko lekar koi achchi si story

Best of luck for contest, bolta lekin ye story word count ke chalte disqualify ho jayegi