★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Rahul]

Story - " Papa ki Ghadi "



Link- https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2020-entry-thread-★☆★.16291/post-1487747

wonderfull story bhai ji maja aa gaya story me hame ye pata chalta hai ki koi agar apna adhura kaam chhod jaye to uski aatama ko tab shanti nahi milti jab tak use pura na kar de wo.bahut hi badhiya kahani likhi hai bhai mai aapko 10 me 10 deta hun magar dibba nahi dunga

 

[Baban]

Respect - The Cruel Truth
By : Baban

Kaafi thik thak kahani thi...ya yun kahun ki aatamkatha thi
Writer saab ne ek ladki ke jariye vo sab kuch batane ka prayas kara hai jo ki ek ladki mehsus karti hai, chahti hai, aur ek aadmi se expect karti hai.
Kaise kuch majbooriyon ke chalte aise kaam karne padte hain. Lekin yahan par ye bhi dikhaya gaya hai ki kaise log inki majbooriyon ki koi kadar nahi karte...bas unhe apna kaam nikalne se matlab hota hai.

Izzat karna hum sabhi ko aana chaiye..fir chahe vo koi bhi ho..agar izzat karoge to hee izzat milegi
Jis tarah se Angel ne end mein apne paise vapas rakh diye..yahi iss baat ko proof karta hai.
Ek story ke maamle mein ye kahani kamjor lagi..lekin kuch kahaniya kamjor hokar bhi kaafi kuch bata jaati hain.
Respect karna aaj ke time mein har kisi ko aana chaiye...aur dusro ki majbooriyon ka fayeda nahi uthana chaiye..yahi baat writer saab ne batani chahi hai.
Overall theme kaafi bhadia tha story ka..ek strong message dene ke mamle mein kaafi had tak kamyab hue hain aap...thanks for this story..And All The Best

Thank you chintu ji. Aapke valuable review ke liye. Maine jaan bujhke is story ko thora alaag style mein likha taaki yeh sirf ek story na lagey balki vastav lage. Aur yeh hi toh vastaav hai humare zindagi ka. Hum bahut bari bari gyan dete hai, par jab palan karne ko baari ati hai hum peeche hat jaate hai. Maine jaanbujhke larke ka naam Vivek rakkha. Vivek matlab-Conscience. Humare under ka vivek.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story:- प्यार-झगड़ा

(एक सिक्के के दो पहलू)

Writer:- Akki ❸❸❸


Simple but Sweet Story.

Bahut acche se aapne dikhaya ki jaha pyar hota hai waha chhote mote jhagde hote rehte hai...Aur wohi jhagde suljhaana aur ek dusre ko manana hi to pyar hai.

Himanshi ke Papa ne bhi bahut acche se samjhaya...Unka experience bhi dikh raha tha.

Ek dusre se jhagda, ruthna manaana ke saath parents ka responsibility bhi aapne acche se dikhaya.

Ending mein aapne khud hi story ko summarize kar diya hai to mujhe aur likhne ki jarurat nahi.

Story ka length thoda aur jyada hota to padhne mein aur bhi majaa aata.

Kul mila kar story padh kar bahut accha laga.

All the best for contest.

 

[Naina]

Good morning bhai.. Dhanyavaad aapke itne pyare review ke liye.. Actually maine ek story likh raha tha par uska words limit se kafi upar tak chale gaye.. Usse maine edit bhi nahini kar sakta tha.. Isiliye jo dimag maine aaya wo hi likh diya.... Aashaa karta hoon aage se aapko pasand aayenge....

aapko kisiko bhi clarification dene ki koi jarurat nahi... aap bahot achhe writer hai aur yeh hum sabhi ko malum hain... aur aasha karte hain aage bhi aise hi manoranjan karte rahenge apni kahanio ke jariye

 

[chintu222]

Anokha Bandhan
By: Rahul

Kahani ki suruat mein dikhaya gaya hai ki ek ladka aur ladki bhari barish mein khade roo rahe hain...jiski vajah unka ek dusre se bichadna tha
Aur abb vo dono he aatma ke roop mein ek dusre ke saath the...jahan ek taraf Akash ko apne dhoke ka badla chaiye vahin dusri taraf Riya apni baat kehna chahti hai...jise vo pichle 10 janmo se nahi bol paayi.
Badle ki bhavna ne Akash ki aankhon ke aage patti bandh di thi...jiski vajah se vo kuch bhi sahe nahi dekh paa raha tha..yahan tak ki apne pyar ko bhi nahi .
Aur end mein writer saab batate hain ki vo aaj bhi bhtak rahe hain...iss ummed mein ki kabhi toh vo ek honge.

Ek choti si kahani jiske jariye ye batya gaya ki badle ki bhavna mein insan ho ya aatma sahe galat nahi dekh pata ...padhke achha laga..thanks for writing this story..and All the Best

 

[Aakash.]

Papa ki Ghadi
First of all, I want to thank you for writing a new story and participating in the competition.
I liked your story very much, the story line was also very good. Today is an era of competition in which work is more difficult than studies. Rony is a very nice boy and the story was full of love. Seeing family love made my heart happy. A loving Bhabhi like a mother and a brother like a friend, never let the lack of parents.
Life is very hard, but we should never lose heart, I have taught it from your story. The name of the story is perfect for the story. I liked your story more than the previous story. I hope you win this competition.
Thank You...
???​

 

[Naina]

Story =Anokha Bandhan
Writer = Rahul

Yeh batkaav aachha nahin ishq buri bala hoti hain lag jaye toh aashani se picha nahin chhutta .. hum kisiko k mana toh nahin kar sakte par itna jarur hai ki preet ka swad joh chakha jubaan ne phir begane huye jag se samajho..
pyar sachha ho toh ek duje ko samajhne ya janne ke ek pal hi kaafi hai, aur wohin agar jhuth, chal, fareb se bhare ho toh sau janam lene pe bhi koi faida nahin.... har bar dhokha hi milega....

Kahani ke anuchar dono joh kar rahe the ya ant mein khud ke sath kar liya usme koi yukti nahi hai... aur naa hi puri baat samajhne ke liye inlogo ke paas koi sad buddhi hai.... mrityu hi ekmatra akhri marg nahin hai prayaschit ke liye aur bhi raste hai..par yeh baatein affsosh yeh dono samajh ke pade hain .. pehle is khubsurat si jindagi ki mol toh samajh lete... pyar to bahot to dur ki baat hai... writer sahab ne upor ullekh kiye gaye baaton ko kuch hi sabdo mein bahot hi shandaar tarike se kahani ki roop mein sanjoya hain ... so ki apne apme hi bemisal hai...
So Rahul ji Brilliant update with awesome writing skills

 

[harshit1890]

Dejavu By Niks77kill

Naam sun kar hi laga ki kahani itself repeat hone wali hai. Fir mujhe movie ki bhi yaad aa gayi
Niks bhai ne likhi to mene yahi socha ki end bada jabar hoga jise sochne mein dikat hogi. Par mujhe aisa laga jaise kahani ko unhone choti bana diya. Yukti vapis aa rahi thi aur har baar uske sath kuch alag ghatnaye ghat rahi thi. Ek-ek kakre mei jodun to vo lash jise takrai vo jai tha, jab use bahar se awaz sunai di to vo log the jo end mein aye yani sab juda par meko vo spark nazar kam aya. I guess plot thoda weak reh gaya ya phir chota likhne mein chakar mein sparkk nahi aya.
End yahi tha ki asal mei koi bhukamp aya hi nahi, yukti bathroom mein slip hui uskehath se kanch tuta, uske dimag mein theory banai earthquake, jai ki aur end mein jai ko galti se maar diya aur fir khud ko maar dala.

Phir bhi janne ki ichukta end mein rahi ki ho kya raha hai Thanks niks bhai

 

[The_lost_love]

Story -Déjà Vu
Story was good... Achchi lagi... Story k title se laga hi tha repeat honge wahi sequence... Lekin yaha pati patni ke jhol nikalega ye nhi socha tha... ??? Iss suspense ke liye shukriya ?? ? but sahi bolu na sir ji... Thodi kami lagi story me... End me utna maja nhi aya jitna socha tha... Lekin shayad yahi perfect end ho iss story ka...
Thanks nikhil bhai... Brijwasi bhai ki jai... ?

 

[The_lost_love]

Story - dangee
By harshit1890

Kahani ke title se pahle ye to pata lag gya tha ki issme maar kaat balatkar yahi hoga.... Predictable tha... Shayad delhi k halat kuch dino pahle waise hi the dange wale... Wahi soch ke likha ho... ???? Haa lekin varnan bahut hi marmik aur dil jhanjhor dene wala tha... Lekin maine 100 percent socha tha uska pati b na shamil ho isme.. Aur wahi nikala... Kahani smjhne me asaan thi... Lekin sabse main baat jo aap kahana chahte the wo kaha aap ne... Kahani ne jo msg dena chahiye tha wo usne perfect diya...

Thanks hariya chacha...