★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Niks77kill]

Story- Dangee
Writer- Harshit1890

Mujhe reviews likhne nahi aate par kuch writers aise hai jinke liye koshish jarur karta hu aur Harshit bhai unme se ek hai.
Pehli baar harshit bhai ki story padkar samjh nhi aa rha kya kahu. Dango mai sirf rape hi nhi hote bahut kuch hota hai pr bhai ne focus sirf rapes and gangrapes pr rkha. Aur focal point ko explain krne mai wo poori tarah kamyab rahe.
Rape samaz ki gandagi hai or ye kbhi nhi mitne wali. Bhai ne jo topic chuna wo taboo h or koi uspr baat nhi krna chahta. Bhai ne likha or shandar likha. Lekin overdose kr dia. Har dusre para m kisi n kisi ka rape? Jyadatar log rape k baad ladki ko maar dete h dango mai kyuki hawas ke sath unka khooni janwar bhi jaag jata hai dango mai.
Khair Hariya ka likha emotional krne wala tha or end m suicide btata h ki jispar beetti hai wahi janta hai dard kya hai.

 

[The Reviewer]

Haivaan(The devil)
By Abhay smarty


My reviews
​

Ek short story ka main aim yahi hota hai,ki kitna kam se kam words me jyada se jyada eliments ko dikhaya jaa sake......or writer sahab ne ye bakhubi kiya hai,or iska sidha example aap story padh kar dekh sakte hai ki kaise fantasy,devil concept or human imotions ko kis bakhubi se mix kiya gaya hai.........|

Negative points
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nothing,matlab kuch bhi negative nahi laga story me,sabkuch perfect tha........

mai isi story ka review isiliye kar hi raha hu kyoki fantasy meri pasandida topic hai,isiliye mai khicha chala aaya,lakin ek or baat hai mujhe sad endings pasand nahi...........?

#short_review

Thanks​

 

[The_InnoCent]

Review for Dangee,,,,

Writer: harshit1890

Harshit bhai, bahut hi khubsurti se aapne saari baato ko darshaya hai. Dangee ek aisa shabd hai jise padhte hi zahen me ek aisi tasveer ubhar aati hai jo kisi bhi insaan ke jism ke rongte khade kar deti hai. Ye sirf aaj ki hi baat nahi hai balki ye to shuru se hi hota aaya hai. Bade bade log jo sirf khud ke bhale ke bare me sochte hain aur sab se upar hi rahna chahte hain wo dangee jaisi dil dahlane wali wardaat ko anjaam dilwate hain. Unhe is baat se koi matlab nahi hota ki isse kis kis ka aur kitna nuksaan ho jayega. Khair ye ek aisi cheez hai jo kabhi khatm nahi ho sakti,,,,

Is story me aapne bahut hi santulit aur nape tule shabdo ke dwara har baat ko dikha diya hai jo ki bahut hi kaabil e tareef hai. Story me kahi bhi aisa nahi laga ki aapne kahi par bewajah koi cheez daali hai...sab kuch perfect tha. Koi koi lines to mujhe behad pasand aayi. Insaano ki kroorta ka warnan ho ya kroorta ko sahne wale paatro ki maarmik dasa ho...ye dono hi behad saraahneey hain,,,,

Meri taraf se aapki is kahani ko 08/10 marks milne chahiye,,,,

 

[Aakash.]

Angel priya
First of all, I want to thank you for writing a new story and participating in the competition.
Your story was very good and simple. We must take decisions carefully, a wrong decision is very harmful. I don't say that it is wrong to love but the one you love must be right. Parents always wish their children happiness. There are many dirty people like Monty in society today, we should be careful with them.
The story was short and very beautiful. I sincerely hope you win this competition.
Thank You...
???​

 

[Aakash.]

Fake Feminism
First of all, I want to thank you for writing a new story and participating in the competition.
The story was very good. I would just like to say that there are very dirty people in the society and we should be careful with them. Tanuj's life was spoiled due to a girl.
Yes, some girls also have a misconception of Feminism and consider men as Feminism. Actually, these girls are not feminists, they also become 'sexist' by spreading such malice.
Some misuse as well, should we not think about some of these women and also make laws for those women who are being harassed even today? Which law is not misused?
The story was short and very beautiful. I sincerely hope you win this competition.
Thank You...
???​

 

[chintu222]

Deja vu
By: Niks77kill

Title padh kar aur ye dekh kar ki ye Niks bhai ki kahani hai toh laga ki kuch bahut hee interesting Sci-Fi type hoga.
Lekin jaise jaise padhta gaya..vaise vaise kahni mein itna buri tarah fansa ki samhaj hee nahi aaya kaise bahar niklun.
Kahani ek ladki ke ird gird ghumti hai..jike baare mein bataya gaya hai ki vo ek bimari se pidit hai...jsiki vajah se baar baar behosh hokar bhi usse kuch yaad hee nahi rehta
Ek ek ghatnayein jo Yukti ke saath hoti hain..unki suruat bathroom mein kanch tut kar uske behosh hone se hoti hai.
Uske baad ye bhi bataya gaya hai ki bachpan mein ek earthquake ne kaise uske apno ko usse dur kar diya...toh ho sakta hai ki ussi ghatna ka asar uske mind par abb ho raha ho..jisse usse lag raha hai ki earthquake aaya hai..jabki present mein koi earthquake aaya hee na ho.
Aur dusri baat hai..uske pati Jai ka affair...vo bhi uske mind mein kahin na kahin tha.
Sayad isi ke chalte usne pehle usse mara..aur fir uski laash se takrai..aur fir behosh hokar vapas aa gayi aur khud ko maar liya
Kaafi kuch confusion hai...ending mein kuch bhi ho sakta tha..kaafi saari possibilities ho sakti thi ..kahin na kahin ye kehna galat nahi hoga ki...kahani puri tarah samahj se bahar hai
Overall kamal ki theory ko shandar tarike se shabdo mein utara hai...ek aisi kahani likhi hai jisne sochne par majbur kar diya
Thanks for writing this story..and All the Best

 

[-:AARAV143:-]

Story :- Gand ka showroom
Writer :- chutiyadr
link :-​

★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Entry Thread ★☆★

Gand ka showroom Genre – adult dark situational comedy

xforum.live

​

bahut khub kahani likhi hai dr shahab

mujhe story padhne mein kafi maza aaya pahile to laga ye kya chutiya chap diya hai

sab tarah gand lund sex aur iske related bahut kuch batein likhi hai..

lekin jaise jaise story aage badhte gayi mere sare sawal dur ho gaye

sahi kaha aapne aajkal bas marketing and publicity ka jamana hai..

pahile jaha quality dekhte the ab waha kisi aur ne ye liya hai to hum us se mehnge wala lenge ye karte hai

lekin koi ye na dekhta ki sasta aur mehnga dono ek hi sikke ke do pehlu hai

sab apni aukat aur soukin ki baat hai jisko jaisa chahiye us hisab se market mein mil jata hai..
lete waqt samajdari kafi hai...
aur ek baat hawasi log dimag se kam lund se jayda sochte hai
ye bhi achi tarah dikhaya hai aapne story mein..


best of luck for contest


Rating :- 4.4/5 stars​

 

[-:AARAV143:-]

Story :- Rahasyamai Highway (BE WARNED !)

Writer :- rbcl.007
link :-

★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Entry Thread ★☆★

story padhne mein kafi achi hai
aapne jo serial killer dikhaya hai wo bhi acha lekin ek baat kehna chahunga
komal ne jis tarah us serial killer ko maara hai wo sahi se nahi dikhaya hai..
agar serial killer itne logo ko mar sakta hai to wo ek najuk si kali ke hathon is tarah se mar jayenga ye baat mujhe thodi khatki jarur hai

mujhe lagta hai thriller mein thoda tadka aur lagna chahiye tha..

aapne ek baat achi tarah se dikhayi wo hai aadmi kitna bhi bada jasus kyu na ho lekin jab baat ladki ki aati hai to wo dimag se kam lekin dil se jayda sochna lagta hai

aur isi wajah se rajeev sharma the great detective and crime jounralist bhi komal ke irade na samaj saka..

komal ko kafi badhiya se represent kiya hai aur uske emotions bhi sahi rahe..

well aap thoda spelling pe dhyan rakhiye aur post karne se pahile ek baar check kar lijiye



best of luck for contest

Rating :- 4/5 stars​

 

[Aakash.]

RESPECT- THE CRUEL TRUTH
First of all, I want to thank you for writing a new story and participating in the competition.
A truth is told in your story. No woman wants to do prostitution but has to bow to circumstances and helplessness. After reading the story, many questions arose in my mind, which no one can answer.
There are many reasons for prostitution such as economic reasons, social causes, psychological reasons. It is a pressing question that even after so many centuries, till date the police, administration and government have not been able to take any meaningful steps to stop prostitution. On the other hand, there seems to be a debate on whether to regularize prostitution or gain legal legitimacy.
There was truth, pain, helplessness in your story. I liked your story very much. I sincerely hope you win this competition.
Thank You...
???​

 

[The_InnoCent]

Review for Haivaan...(The Devil)
Writer: _ABHAY_Smarty_

Smarty bhai, bahut hi khubsurat story rahi aapki. Mujhe kkahani ka plot bahut achha laga magar main ye bhi kahuga ki plot ke hisaab se aap story me wo baat puri tarah daalne me kaamyaab nahi huye jiske tahat ye kahani aur bhi zabardast ho sakti thi,,,,,

Time aur location ko add karte huye aapne saari baato ko behtar tarike se darshane ki kaabile tareef koshish ki magar beech beech me mujhe bhatkaav laga aur shabdo ko sahi dhang se uchit jagah par rakhne par bhi shayad aapne dhyaan nahi diya,,,,

Kahani ka plot zabardast hai aur isme aapki mehnat bhi nazar aati hai...mafar mujhe lagta hai ki ise aur bhi behtar banane ki zarurat thi,,,,

Mere aise review ka bura mat maanna dost. Aapki kahani ka plot yakinan behtarin hai aur aapne bahut khubsurti se sab kuch dikhaya bhi hai. Thodi bahut kamiya to har writer ki lekhni ya soch me dikh jati hain,,,,