★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[fountain_pen]

Review
Story - अवसरवादिता
Writer - fountain_pen

Well it is my first story which I read in this contest. Writer has good skill in writing specially in Hindi Devnagri but it seems he rushed writing in this story, sometimes story becomes difficult to understand because of less narration & elaboration and rushing. However Length of story is good and Hindi Grammer wise and spelling wise superb Writer gave a good message in this story Nilofar wasn't a bad person and ultimately it was her choice and she agreed to marry Shubham because she saw his Good in him, Shubham misjudged Nilofar. Even though Nilofar used this opportunity it for political gain but she supported Shubham and his family and was way better than Shubham's ex Nilima who was totally selfish person.

Dhanywaad bhai

 

[Anung Un Rama HB]

Story: Guilty or not?

Written by: Anung Un Rama HB

Kya Bhai, abhi feeling aani shuru hi hui thi ki kahani khatam! Why in so hurry man? Case Kulkarni sahab ko thoda ladne to date.. Ek dalil me maamla rafa dafa, faisla bhi aa gaya! There are a few flaws in the story and a few minor details that were wrong. The culprit never wears the same clothes he was wearing on the Murder site with blood stains on it. Those are listed as evidence in the first place.

Story kaafi achhi ban sakti thi, agar aap ispar thoda or kaam karte to..

Anyway, Best of Luck for the contest!

कहानी- गिल्टी ऑर नॉट

रचनाकार- Anung Un Rama HB जी।

कहानी अच्छी है और आपने इसे बहुत खूबसूरती से पेश किया है।

कभी कभी हालात ऐसे बन जाते हैं कि इंसान निर्दोष होते हुए भी दोषी बन जाता है। देश में हजारों मामले ऐसे होते हैं जिनमें निर्दोष व्यक्ति बिना किसी कसूर के सजा भुगत रहा है।

रमेश के साथ भी यही हुआ। एक मामूली झगड़े ने इतना भयानक रूप ले लिया कि अचानक हुए हादसे ने रमेश को सुजीत का कातिल ठहरा दिया। रमेश एक सुलझा हुआ और अच्छा इंसान लगा मुझे तभी तो उसने न्यायालय से बरी होने के बाद सुजीत की पत्नी से माफी मांगी, क्योंकि उसे लगता था कि अगर सुजीत की पत्नी उसे कातिल समझेगी तो उसके मन में एक गिल्ट रहेगा हमेशा। सुजीत की पत्नी भी रमेश को समझती थी तभी तो उसे यकीन था कि पैसों को लेकर रमेश सुजीत की हत्या कभी नहीं करेगा।​

Aap dono ka bahot bahot shukriya

 

[Mak]

Story: LOVE or LUST

Writer: KnightAngel

The beginning of this story held promise for a compelling theme, but unfortunately, the ending failed to meet expectations, devolving into a mere sexual encounter story. Despite the initial captivating character development and exploration of emotions, I was ultimately left disappointed.

Nevertheless, your writing skills are commendable. I encourage you to explore a wider range of themes beyond solely focusing on sexual encounters. With your talent, there's potential for you to create truly remarkable stories.

Good luck with the contest!

 

[Mak]

Story: अवसरवादिता

Writer: fountain_pen

Your writing skill is truly remarkable, and your command over Hindi vocabulary and Devanagari writing was the most remarkable aspect of this story.

While I enjoyed the story, I found it to be somewhat fast-paced compared to usual. At times, I felt confused by sudden changes in the situation. Perhaps a more streamlined approach with elaboration in more details could have mitigated this issue, especially considering there were words remaining within the word limit of this contest.

I particularly admired the portrayal of Nilofer's character and the gradual development of romance between her and Shubham. However, I was looking for more depth in this aspect, as it felt like this part was the heart of the story.

Nonetheless, your writing prowess is undeniable. Keep honing your skills and best wishes for the contest.

 

[fountain_pen]

Niraash karne ke liye aapka gunaahgaar hoon bhai Well, aapki best wishes ke liye tah-e-dil se bahut bahut abhi-vaadan

Honestly, mujhe lagta hai iss platform par aisi kahaaniyo ko utna bhaav nahi milega... plus jab apni niji zindgi masti se guzarne lagti hai to Xforum ke liye utna waqt nahi de paata.

Waise ye story bas jaldbazi post ho gayi kyunki USC ke liye meri PRIME story An Artist hi thi, jo us waqt timeline ke andar poori nahi ho pa rhi thi (however maine use word limits ke andar or i think deadline se few hours pehle compelete kar yahan submit kiya). fir bhi meri taraf se yeh ek chota tha yogdaan hai jo again lakh chahne ke vaabjood main is forum ke liye nahi de paaya.

Bilkul bhi ummid nahi thi aap log'on ka itna support milega, aur iss se yakeenan mujhe aage se apne pryaas behtar karne ki taaqat or prerna milegi

 

[fountain_pen]

Prioritize your life first buddy! Hopefully everything will be alright soon.

Forum to aata jaata rahega.. Waise bhi ham sabhi idhar koi majhe hue lekhak to hain nahi.. jo thoda bahut likhna sikha hai dusron ko dekh kar or kuch padh kar sikha hai.. Aapne bhi jo likha hai achha hi likha hai.. Agli baar isse bhi achha likh lenge.. cheers!

Correct but forum bhi rehna chaahiye kyunki apne desh main kindle/ebook ka utna trend nahi hai and entrtainment ke liye availabe paid content se kahin better stuff iss forum par free main hai, isliye hum rahe ya naa rahe par yeh sab baaki logon ke liye to rehna chahiye...

 

[Aakash.]

Aagasyta (Y. A.)
After a long time, I am writing a review on a story, so please forgive me if I write something wrong. First of all, thank you for writing two stories and participating in the contest. As a moderator, your story has a different identity.

Now coming to the story, I keep all the negative points aside because you are a new writer and we do not see newness as mistakes. The dialogues and story have been written in such a brilliant way that does not feel even the slightest bit bored while reading. The author probably likes the rainy season very much. It has been mentioned in both the stories Baarish and Pyaar. Very good !!

I found it to be a mix of fantasy and real life, there are no words to praise it,

Tum Hue Meherbaan,
To Hai Yeh Dastan...
​

 

[Damha]

Damha Saheb writes so well, I didn't even know.
You should also visit the story section occasionally.

Main SS me he hota hu Sectional Mod Lekin story writing ke liye abhi enough time nahi hota

What was not in this story ! Thriller, horror and a love story hidden in the pages of the past.

I was just trying to cram in all sorts of genres into my story, so I needed a plot that would work for that. And I think this plot is like, totally perfect for it, Ye story actual me ek thriller thi, Lekin main label nahi lagaya ke agar label lagta to story ka horror enjoy nahi ho sakta tha

And most importantly, we were feeling all these events.

The climax of the story was outstanding and speech less. I had become very sentimental.

Ye he kaafi hai mere liye

Outstanding Story Damha bhai

Again! Thanks for reading my story

 

[Damha]

Story Line: हॉरर और मर्डर मिस्ट्री पर बेस्ड ये कहानी एक रॉमटिक थ्रिलर है। जिसमे एक जमींदार परिवार की एक लड़की को एक साधारण लड़के से प्यार हो जाता है जिसे उसका छोटा भाई बर्दास्त नही कर पाता, और उन दोनो की हत्या कर देता है, उसके बाद शुरू होता है एक हत्याओं का एक अंतहीन दौर....

SANJU ( V. R. ) Aur ap ke review ki sab se achi baat ye hai ke ap appreciate bhi karte ho aur dhayan me rakhte huwe spoilers dene se bhi bachte ho, Like ke story ka ek idea dete ho ke kaisi hai lekin ye nahi batate ke actual story kya hai, Brilliant

Tretament: just awesome क्या लिखा है भाई, एकदम रौंगटे खड़े कर दिए।

Ye he meri intention thi! Sabhi keh rahe the horror likhna bohat mushkil hai, Ye meri first ya second try thi lekin lagta hai kuch kamyab ho saka hu

Sugesstion: और लिखा करो भाई, it was fantastic.

Arrey! Mere points?

 

[Damha]

बहुत ही बेहतरीन कहानी। हॉरर और सस्पेंस का बखूबी इस्तेमाल किया है कहानी में।

इसके बाद ही गांव के लोग जैसे गायब होने लगे। जारा अपने और अपने प्रेमी की मौत का बदला वैभव और पूरे गांव वालों से ले रही है, लेकिन एक बात समझ नहीं आती कि उसने आयुष को क्यों मारा, उसकी या सुशांत की मौत में आयुष तो जिम्मेदार नहीं लगता, साथ में मोहन की बहू रोशनी को क्यों मारा जारा ने ये भी समझ नहीं आता, क्योंकि अगर ये गुस्से वाला बदला है जिसमें इन दोनों की गलती ही नहीं है।

Actually Zara mar gayi thi! Yanha koi bhoot nahi tha, Badla Sushant le raha tha, Ap ne jaldi me story shayad dhayan se nahi padhi Ek baar samay nikal ker usse dhayan se padhiye ap ko sab samajh aa jaye gi