Romance Choti si Bhool by Jatin (completed)

[The Immortal]

Khud to ushne mujhe jaise taise fansa kar mere saath kiya hi, phir mujhe badi chaalaaki se ashok ke saamne bhi parosh diya. Aur phir ush din, ashok aur raju ko bhi saath ley aaya . kya kuch nahi kiya tha ushne mere saath. Ushne jo mere saath kiya tha vo mere sharir ka ** na sahi par mere character ka ** jaroor tha. agar billu meri jeendagi mein na aata to na to mujhe ashok ka shikaar hona padta, na ush cycle wale ki bhaddi baate shun-ni padti aur na hi vivek ki itni himmat hoti ki mujh se itni behuda baate kare aur mera ** karne ki koshish kare. in sab baato ke kaaran mujhe billu ka vaha hona kudrat ka ek ghinona majaak lag raha tha.
Maine dekha ki billu aur vivek mein bahut tagadi haatha-paayi chal rahi thi. kabhi vivek haavi hota deekhta tha to kabhi billu. dauno ek dushre se buri tarah ulajh rahe the.
“Saale tu bach gaya haan, par aaj mere haato se nahi bachega” —- vivek ne billu ke pet mein laat maarte huve kaha.
Agle hi pal vivek neeche pada tha aur billu phir se ushki dhunaayi kar raha tha.
Achaanak meri nazar jamin par padi pistol par gayi. vo vivek ki pant ke paas hi padi thi.
Mai ladkhadaate huve pistol ke paas pahunchi aur kaanpte haato se pistol utha li.
Maine pistol ko dono haatho mein pakda aur un dauno ki taraf taan di. Maine kisi ki aur nishaana nahi lagaaya bas goli chala di…….. mai soch rahi thi ki kisi ko bhi lag jaaye, dauno mere liye ek samaan hai.
Par goli kisi ko nahi lagi, pata nahi kaha chali gayi.
Haan itna jaroor huva ki ek pal ko dauno ruk gaye.
“Bhabhi ruko, goli mat chalaao,I am sorry, mai bahak gaya tha, aap sach kah rahi thi, mai aaj hosh mein nahi hun” —- vivek meri aur gidgida kar bola.
agle hi pal billu ne ushke upar laato ki bochaar kar di aur bola, “saale tu kab hosh mein rahta hai”
Maine ek aur fire kiya aur billu ladkhada kar gir gaya.
“Bhabhi acha kiya, bahut acha kiya, ek aur goli maaro ish saale ko” —- vivek meri aur gidgida kar bola.
“shut up you bastard” —- maine cheella kar kaha aur vivek ki taraf pistol kar ke goli chala di.
“Aahhh…. No… bhabhi please mujhe maaf kar do mai bahak gaya tha” —— vivek dard se cheella kar bola.
goli shaayad vivek ke pet mein lagi thi. goli lagte hi vo bhi billu ke paas gir gaya.
“Ritu, banduk mujhe do, mai ishka khel khatam karta hun” —- billu meri aur dekh kar bola.
billu apni taang pakde pada tha.
tab maine socha, “acha ishki taang mein goli lagi hai, ishke to sar mein goli lagni chaahiye thi.”
aur maine ish baar billu ki aur fire kiya
lekin ye nishaana mai chuk gayi.
par ek dam se vivek ne furti se meri aur badh kar mere haath se pistol cheen li aur mere muh par ek chaanta maara, jishke kaaran mai ladkhada kar gir gayi.
“saali mujhe maaregi, mai aaj tum dauno ki yahi kabar khod dunga” —- vivek cheella kar bola.
Ye kah kar ushne pistol meri kanpatti par rakh di aur bola, “ab mai tumhe bataata hun ki goli kaise chalaayi jaati hai”
Maine bhagvaan ko yaad kiya aur man hi man mein prayer ki, “hey bhagvaan agar ab mujhe mere paapo ki saja mil chuki ho to mujhe maaf kar do, mere chintoo ka khyaal rakhna”
Par agle hi pal maine mahsush kiya ki meri kanpatti par pistol nahi hai.
Maine dekha ki billu vivek ke upar hai aur pistol mujh se thodi dur jamin par padi hai. shaayad billu ne vivek par peeche se hamla kiya tha, aur ushke haath se pistol dur ja giri thi.
Mai jamin par rengte huve pistol ke paas pahunch gayi.
Maine pistol uthaayi hi thi ki vivek kisi tarah se vaha se bhaag khada huva. Maine turant ushki aur fire kiya aur vo gir gaya. Ish baar goli ushki peeth par lagi thi.
Billu jamin par pada tha, vo apni right leg ko pakad kar dard se karaah raha tha.
Mai himmat karke khadi huyi aur ushki taraf pistol taan di.
“Aise nahi ritu, aisey mat maaro mujhe, ruko mai thoda karib aa jaata hun, tab araam se nishaana laga kar maarna, mai tumhaare kadmo mein marna chaahta hun” —- vo dard se karaahte huve bola.
“band karo ye bakwaas billu, mere karib mat aana, mujhe ab tumhaare baare mein sab kuch pata hai, badi chalaaki se barbaad kiya hai tumne mujhe, aaj mai tumhe jeenda nahi chhodungi” —– maine cheella kar kaha.
“Bilkul ritu, mai bhi yahi chaahta hun ki agar meri maut ho to tumhaare haato se ho, mai tumhaara gunahgaar hun” — vo meri taraf rengte huve bola.
“ruk jao billu varna mai goli chala dungi” —- maine phir se ushe cheella kar kaha.
Par vo nahi ruka aur jamin par rengte huve meri taraf badhne laga. Maine ushke upar fire kiya par goli na jaane kaha lagi, kyonki vo ruka nahi aur mere kadmo ke bilkul paas aa kar late gaya.
“Kaha tha na aisey mat maaro, marne waale ki aakhri khavahish ka dhyaan rakha jaata hai, lo ab maaro mujhe, goli seedhi sar mein maaro, mai tumhaare kadmo mein hi marna chaahta hun” —- billu ne mere kadmo par haath rakh kar kaha.
Maine kaha, “band karo ye naatak billu, kuch bhi ho jaaye, aaj mai tumhaari baato ke jaal mein nahi fansungi”
Billu ne mere paanv par sar rakh diya aur bola, “naatak nahi hai ye, mai tumhaara gunahgaar hun, mai maanta hun. mumbai mai bas tumhaare liye hi aaya hun. peechle hafte se roj chhup chhup kar tumhe dekh raha hun. tumhaara saamna karne ki himmat nahi ho rahi thi meri. Par aaj maine jab tumhe vivek ki gaadi mein baithte dekha to maine tumhaara peecha kiya. mujhe dar tha ki vivek jaroor koyi na koyi ghinoni harkat karega. Par raste mein mera ek chota sa accident ho gaya, jishke kaaran yaha pahunchne mein der ho gayi. vivek ki gaadi mujh se kaafi aage nikal kar aankh se ojhal ho chuki thi. mai har taraf tumhe dhund raha tha. jab ish jangal ki taraf aaya to dekha ki baahar sadak par vivek ki gaadi khadi thi, ushi se mujhe laga ki vo tumhe jaroor yaha laaya hai”
“Ish sab se tum kya saabit karna chaahte ho billu, kuch bhi karlo par mai tumhe kabhi maaf nahi karungi, tumne mere saath bahut ganda khel khela hai” —- maine bhavuk ho kar kaha.
“Jaanta hun ritu, aur mai bhi khud ko shaayad kabhi maaf na karun. Apni bhool ka ahsaash mujhe tab huva jab mujhe ush din goli lagne ke baad hosh aaya. Mujhe yakin nahi tha ki mai bachunga. Par veena aunty ne mujhe bacha liya. mai badle ki aag mein apne hosh kho baitha tha ritu, mujhe maaf kar do” — billu gidgidaate huve bola.
“mai kya tumhe maaf karungi billu, mai to khud ko hi maaf nahi kar paa rahi hun, tumhaari to baat hi dur hai” — ye kahte huve meri aankho mein aanshu utar aaye.
Maine pistol billu ke sar par rakhne ki bajaaye apni kanpatti par laga di, aur kaha, “mujhe nahi pata ki tumne mere saath aisa kyon kiya aur na mujhe ab kuch jaan-na hai, mai itna jaroor jaanti hun ki jitni galti tumhaari thi, utni hi meri thi, ishliye mai tumhe maarne ki bajaaye ab khud hi mar rahi hun”

 

[The Immortal]

“Nahi ritu, maarna hai to mujhe maaro, tumhaari koyi galti nahi hai, tumhaare saath jo kuch bhi huva vo mere kaaran huva hai, mujhe goli maaro ritu…. Please” —- billu mere paanv pakad kar bola.
maine fire kar diya. aur vakt jaise tham gaya.
Par kishmat ko meri maut manzoor nahi thi. banduk ki goliya khatam ho chuki thi.
mai vaha se hat gayi aur ladkhadaate huve vaha se chal padi. Andhera ghir aaya tha aur jangal mein tarah tarah ki bhayaanak awaaje gunj rahi thi.
mujhe kuch nahi pata tha ki sadak kish taraf hai, mai bas bina soche samjhe chal padi.
Har inshaan ki jeendagi mein ek aisa pal aata hai, jab vo apne ander jhaank kar dekhta hai ki vo vaakayi mein kya hai. mai ush vakt ishi avastha mein thi. par mujhe ush vakt apne ander jangal se bhi bhayaanak andhera nazar aa raha tha.
Jo kuch vivek ne mere saath kiya tha vo meri bachi kuchi aatma ko maar gaya tha. baaki sab kuch to billu pehle hi khatam kar chuka tha.
“Ritu ruko ye jangal bahut bada hai, kaha ja rahi ho, tum bhatak jaaogi. mai bhi aa raha hun” —– billu ne mere peeche se cheella kar kaha.
Maine peeche mud kar dekha, vo ladkhadaata huva mere peeche aa raha tha. maine ek pathar uthaaya aur ushki aur fenk kar maara. Mujhe yakin nahi huva, vo seedha ushke sar par jaakar laga aur vo gir gaya.
Jab mujhe hosh aaya tha to maine dekha tha ki vivek mujhe kish raste se laaya tha. ushi raste par mai aage badh rahi thi, bina kisi dar ke, bina kisi khauf ke.darta vo hai jishke paas khone ko kuch bacha ho. Mere paas khone ko kuch nahi tha.
Chalte chalte mujhe dur se sadak dheekhaayi di.
Maine sadak par vivek ki car khadi dekhi. Car se thodi dur ek bike khadi thi. shaayad vo billu ki thi. vivek ki car mein mera purse tha aur mobile tha. maine ek bada sa pathar uthaaya aur jor se car ki khidki mein maara. Khidki ka sheesa thoda chatak gaya. Maine ek aur pathar maara aur vo itna tut gaya ki mai ander haath daal kar apna purse nikaal sakun.
Maine purse nikaala aur shunshaan sadak par chal padi. Dur dur tak koyi nahi tha. mere sar par khun laga tha, chehre par mitti thi aur saare kapde dhul se bhare the. Kuch nahi pata tha ki kish taraf jaaun, mai bas chale ja rahi thi.
Koyi 5 minut baad mujhe ek car aati deekhaayi di. Maine socha koyi taxi hogi to hi haath dungi.
Par vo taxi nahi thi, ishliye maine haath nahi diya. aur vo car aage badh gayi.
Mujh se thoda aage ja kar car achaanak ruk gayi aur peeche ki taraf meri aur aane lagi.
“Arey aap ish shunshaan sadak par akeli kya kar rahi hai, ohh aapke sar par to khun laga hai, sab theek to hai” ——- car mein baithi lady ne pucha.
Vo lady akeli thi aur khud hi car drive kar rahi thi.
Maine kaha, “aap please mujhe aisi jagah chhod dijiye jahaan se mai taxi ley kar colaba ja sakun”
“Arey haan haan aao baitho, ye sab kya huva hai aapke saath” ? —— ush lady ne pucha.
“Kuch nahi… jeendagi ne ek bhadda majaak kiya hai, aap please mujhe jaldi kahi chhod do” —- maine rote huve kaha.
“Police ko phone karun kya” ? — ush lady ne pucha.
“Ab police aakar kya karegi jo hona tha so ho gaya” —– maine ush lady se kaha.
“Kya tumhaare saath ** huva hai” ? agar aisa hai to hamein turant police station chalna chaahiye” —- ush lady ne kaha.
“Nahi ** se bhi jyada bhayaanak. aap mujh se kuch mat pucho, mai kuch bhi kahne ki haalat mein nahi hun” —- maine ush lady ko kaha.
“Theek hai….theek hai, aap araam se baitho mai abhi aapko kisi taxi tak pahuncha deti hun” —— vo lady boli.
ushne mujhe ek taxi waale ke paas utaar diya. taxi waala bhi mujhe aisi haalat mein dekh kar hairaani mein bola, “madam ye kya huva hai, aapke sar par to khun laga hai”
maine kaha, “kuch nahi mai gir gayi thi, mujhe jaldi colaba ley chalo”
“Colaba mein kaha jaana hai madam” —- ushne pucha.
Maine kaha, “hotel taj ke paas”
Jaise hi mai apne flat ke baahar pahunchi vaha sidharth khada tha.
Vo mujhe dekh kar bola, “arey ye kya huva hai tumhe ritu, ye chehre par mitti aur ye sar par khun, kaise huva ye sab, mai kab se phone laga raha hun, phone bhi nahi uthaaya tumne”
Mai itni bhaavuk ho uthi ki sidharth ke gale lag kar phoot phoot kar rone lagi
“Arey kya huva ritu, bataao to sahi” —- sidharth ne mere sar par haath rakh kar pucha
par mai kuch bhi bataane ki haalat mein nahi thi
acha chalo pehle tumhaare flat mein chalte hai, araam se baith kar baat karenge” —- sidharth ne mere sar par haath phiraate huve kaha.
Sidharth mera haath pakad kar mujhe mere flat par ley aaya.
“Mai kab se tumhaara phone try kar raha hun, aaj tumhe kuch surprise dena tha, lekin khud tumhe aisi haalat mein dekh kar surprise ho gaya, bataao ye sab kaise huva”
“sidharth mai tumhe kuch nahi bata sakti, ye ek lambi kahaani hai” —- maine kaha
“theek hai ritu tum chinta mat karo baad mein araam se baat karenge. par tumhaare sar par chot lagi hai, mai kisi doctor ko ley kar aata hun” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Nahi sidharth mein khud patti baandh lungi, doctor ki biwi rah kar bahut kuch seekha hai, mere paas sab samaan hai, tum abhi jao mai abhi akeli rahna chaahti hun” —- maine sidharth ki aur dekh kar kaha
“ritu kya mera tum par itna bhi hak nahi hai ki mai sukh dukh mein tumhaare saath rah sakun. Dekh raha hun ki jab se mili ho, mujh se dur dur rahne ki koshish karti ho. Kya tum vahi ritu ho jo kabhi mujh se shaadi karne ko taiyaar thi” —- sidharth ne pucha
“Nahi sidharth mein vo ritu nahi hun, vo ritu mar chuki hai, tum please abhi jao, baad mein baat karenge” —- maine nazre jhuka kar kaha. aisey kadve bol mai ushki aur dekh kar nahi bol sakti thi.
“theek hai mai ja raha hun, par yaad rakhna mai tumhe bahut pyaar karta hun” ——- vo jaate huve bola.
maine ushke jaane ke baad darvaaja band kar liya aur darvaaje par khade khade hi aanshu bahaane lagi.
sidharth mujhe pyaar de raha tha, aur mai ushe khud se dur dhakail rahi thi. dar-asal mai nahi chaahti thi ki mere jaisi ladki ushki jeendagi mein aaye. vo bahut acha hai, par mai kya hun mai ache se jaanti hun. mai apni baaki ki jeendagi ka safar akele bitaana chaahti hun…………. bilkul akele.
Sidharth ke jaane ke baad maine apni marham patti ki aur garam paani se naha kar sho gayi. bahut der tak neend nahi aayi par jab aayi to subah 11 baje aankh khuli. Maine uthte hi office phone kiya ki mai aaj nahi aaungi.

 

[The Immortal]

Date 01-02-09
Aaj Sunday hai aur mai ghar par hun. shaam ka vakt hai aur 6 bajne waale hai. par ek ajeeb samashya aan khadi huyi hai.
Abhi abhi thodi der pehle door bell baji thi. maine darvaaje par aakar dekha to paya ki kisi ne darvaaje ke neeche se ek kaagaz ka tukda sarka rakha tha.
Maine kaagaz utha kar dekha to ush par leekha tha
“ritu mai tumhe sab kuch bataana chaahta hun, gate way of India ke saamne aa jao mai tumhaara intezaar kar raha hun. please ek baar meri baat shun lo phir kabhi mujh se baat mat karna. mai tumhaare liye hi mumbai aaya hun. mai tumhaara intezaar kar raha hun. Bas ek baar mil lo, Please”………..billu
maine kaagaz phaad kar fenk diya hai. billu ki koyi bhi baat shun-ne ka mera koyi iraada nahi hai. vaise bhi manish sachaayi ke kaafi karib hai.
Kal maine dipti ko phone kiya tha, ushne mujhe kaha tha, “ritu, ho sakta hai ki billu jeenda ho kyonki ushki laash nahi mili hai. manish ke anushaar ashok ke saath jo maare gaye hai unme se ek raju hai aur ek ashok ka ladka dinesh hai”
Maine kaha, “billu yaha mumbai mein hai dipti”
“kk..kya tumhe kaise pata” — dipti ne hairaani mein pucha.
Maine dipti ko 21 january ki puri ghatna shuna di.
“Arey tumne to kamaal kar diya….. par ye baat tum mujhe aaj bata rahi ho, tumhe pata hai na manish ishi kaam par laga hai” —- dipti ne kaha.
“Dipti ab mera kuch jaan-ne ka man nahi hai, saaf lag raha hai ki billu ki sanjay aur vivek se koyi dushmani hai aur sanjay se badla lene ke liye ushne mujhe barbaad kiya hai. yaad hai na vo khun se leekhi line “doctor ki to yahi saja hai par vakil ko har haal mein marna hoga” —- maine kaha
“Vo to mai bhi samajh rahi hun, par kya tum nahi jaan-na chahogi ki billu kyo sanjay aur vivek ke peeche pada hai” —- dipti ne pucha
“sanjay se mera divorce ho chuka hai dipti aur vivek se mera koyi lena dena nahi hai. baaki sanjay khud sab kuch sambhaal lenge, billu unke peeche pada hai to pada rahne do. Mai ish chakkar mein nahi padna chaahti” —- maine kaha.
“Vo to theek hai ritu, par manish kah raha tha ki bahut jald sachaayi hamaare saamne hogi” —- dipti ne kaha.
Ishliye Mera billu se milne ka koyi iraada nahi hai. sachaayi vaise bhi jaldi hi saamne aa jaayegi.
……………………..
Date : 2-02-09
Aaj subah ki shuruvaat bahut buri tarah huyi. Subah koyi 8 baje maine apni khidki se baahar jhaank kar dekha to paya ki mere flat ke bilkul saamne sadak par billu khada tha.
Mujhe khidki mein dekhte hi vo haath jod kar khada ho gaya, jaise ki kah raha ho ki please mujh se mil lo.
Maine jhat se khidki band kar di aur office ke liye taiyaar hone lagi.
Shaam ko jab ghar aayi to phir se mujhe apne ghar ke ander darvaaje ke paas ek kaagaz mila
Ush par leekha tha
“mai bahut der tak kal tumhaara intezar karta raha, tumhe sab kuch bata kar vaapas delhi jaana chaahta hun, mere paas yaha jyada vakt nahi hai. jaise taise yaha kisi friend ke paas rah raha hun. vo bhi ab pareshaan hone laga hai. meri financial position aisi nahi hai ki ish sahar mein jyada din tahar paaun. Tumhe sab kuch bata deta to dil ko tassalli milti. Tumhe bataaye bina mar gaya to meri aatma bhatakti rahegi. Meri jeendagi ka koyi bharosa nahi hai. kisi bhi vakt mai mar sakta hun, meri jaan ko har vakt khatra hai. please ek baar mil lo. Mai tumse aur kuch nahi chaahta”……………….billu
pata nahi kyon, ek man ho raha hai ki ek baar ushki baat shun lun, par phir ushki peechli harkate yaad aati hai. kya pata ye ushki koyi chaal ho, ush par vishvaas
karna mushkil hai.

 

[The Immortal]

Date 7-02-09
Peechle 5 dino se dekh rahi hun, billu roj subah mujhe office jaate vakt mere flat ke baahar mil jaata hai, aur jab mai vaapas aati hun to bhi mujhe vahi milta hai. ushke chehre par aisey bhaav rahte hai, jaise ki vo bahut innocent ho, lagta hi nahi hai ki ushi ne mujhe barbaad kiya hai. billu ka ye dushra hi roop dekh rahi hun. pata nahi kya raaj hai. mai ab dipti ke phone ka intezaar kar rahi hun. kal ushne bataaya tha ki bas ek dau din ki baat hai sachaayi saamne aa jaayegi. Roj mujhe office se aate hi ghar ke ander darvaaje ke niche billu ki leekhi chit milti hai. roj yahi leekha hota hai ki “aaj phir mai gate way of India par tumhaara intezaar karunga, ho sake to aa jao”
Par mai ush se milne kaise chali jaaun, jo ushne mere saath kiya hai ushe mai kabhi nahi bhula sakti. aur kya pata vo mujhe kaun si kahaani shunayega. Baatein banaane mein to vo expert hai hi. Kya pata koyi nayi chaal chal raha ho.
Ishliye mai billu ko ignore karke apne kaam par dhyaan de rahi hun.
———
Raat ke 10 baj rahe hai. abhi thodi der pehle papa se phone par lambi baat ki.
“bete sidharth ka phone aaya tha, tumne bataaya nahi ki vo vahi mumbai mein hai, bahut acha ladka hai” —- papa ne kaha
“ji papa mujhe dhyaan hi nahi raha, sidharth hamaari company ka CA hai, aksar office mein ush se mulaakat ho jaati hai, par ushne aapko kyo phone kiya” —– maine hairaani mein pucha.
“Beta, vo tumse shaadi karna chaahta hai, mujh se kah raha tha ki aap maan jao to ritu bhi maan jaayegi. Mai to pehle bhi tum logo ke saath hi tha, bas ushke papa ki izaazart ke bina kuch nahi hone dena chaahta tha. Acha ladka hai, ushke saath tum jeendagi ki nayi shuruvaat kar sakti ho, baaki sab kuch tumhaare upar hai, mai tumhe kuch nahi kahunga, jaisa tumhe acha lage karo, mai tumhaare saath hun.” —- papa ne kaha
aaj tak maine papa ki baat nahi taali hai, ishliye maine unhe kuch nahi kaha ki mai kya chaahti hun. mai soch rahi hun ki ab sidharth se hi baat karungi.
Date : 8-02-09
Aaj man bahut udaas hai chintoo ka birthday hai aur mai ushke paas nahi hun, par kya karun ush se milne bhi nahi ja sakti. nayi nayi naukri join ki hai, aur phir abhi kaam bhi jyada hai. subah ka vakt hai soch rahi hun ki mandir chali jaaun. Shaayad man ko kuch sakun miley. Vaise bhi aaj Sunday hai aur mere paas kaafi vakt hai
———–
11:30 am (8-02-09)
mandir mein ghuste hi mujhe ek anokha sa sakun mila. Mandir mein bahut pyara bhajan chal raha tha.
♫♪♫….. hare krishna… hare krishne…..krishna krishna….hare.. hare.. hare rama…hare rama… rama rama.. hare…hare….♫♪♫
Kisi ne sach hi kaha hai ki jab aap bhagvaan ke paas haath jod kar jaate hai to bhagvaan aapko gale laga lete hai. kuch aisa hi ahsaash mujhe ho raha tha.
ye bhajan meri anter aatma mein utarta chala gaya. Bahut dino baad man ko kuch shaanti mili. par ye shaanti jyada der nahi rah paayi.
mai bhagvaan ke aage aankhe band karke khadi thi aur man hi man chintoo ke liye lambi umar ki kaamna kar rahi thi. apne liye mai kya maangti bas yahi duva kar rahi thi ki hey bhagvaan mujhe hamesha ache raste par rakhna. Mujhe itni shakti dena ki jab bhi mere saamne dau raste aayein to mai sahi raste ka chunaav kar sakun.
Sabhi kuch acha chal raha tha. aankhe band karke mein ander hi ander kho gayi thi aur hare krishna hare rama bhajan mere kaano mein gunj raha tha.
Achaanak mujhe ek awaaj shunaayi di
“bhagvaan mujhe aapse kuch nahi chaahiye, vaise bhi jo tha vo to aapne pehle hi cheen liya hai, agar mujhe kuch dene ko bacha ho to vo ish devi ko de do. mai jyada din nahi jeena chaahta, meri umar aap ish devi ko laga do. aur ye devi aapse jo bhi maangti hai de do bhagvaan mai ish devi ko bahut pyar karta hun…”
maine hairaani mein aankhe khol kar dekha aur chonk gayi..
billu mere paas aankhe band karke bhagvaan ke aage haath jode khada tha. maine man hi man mein socha ki ishki himmat kaise ho gayi yaha aane ki aur aise mere saath khade hone ki.
maine pujaari se parsaad liya aur jhat se mandir se baahar aa gayi.
“ritu ruk jao, please…. ek baar meri baat to shun lo, mai bas tumhe kuch bataana chaahta hun, aur to kuch nahi chaahta, please….” —- billu ne mere peeche aate huve kaha.
Mai ruk gayi aur peeche mud kar ushe kaha, “billu agar tum mein jara si bhi sharam baaki hai to yaha se chale jao. Aur mujhe tumse kuch nahi shun-na. Vaise bhi mujhe kaafi kuch pata chal gaya hai. mera peecha chhod do aur yaha se dafa ho jao.”
mandir mere flat ke nazdeek hi tha, ishliye teji se chal kar mai apne ghar aa gayi. mujhe bahut bura lag raha tha ki vo mere peeche mandir tak aa gaya. pata nahi billu aisa kyo kar raha hai ?
raat ke 11 bajne ko hai aur man bahut bechan ho raha hai. ye bechani sidharth ke kaaran hai. samajh nahi aata ki ushe kaise samjhaaun.
Jaise hi mai mandir se aayi thi sidharth ghar aa gaya tha.
“Ritu mai bina bataaye aa gaya, tum bura to nahi maanogi” —- sidharth ne hanste huve pucha.
“Nahi koyi baat nahi, baitho mai coffee banaati hun” — maine kaha.
Mai khud ush se milna chaahti thi. ab jab ushne papa se baat kar li thi to ushe sab kuch bataana jaroori ho gaya tha.
“Ritu, maine kal tumhaare dady se baat ki thi, shaayad unhone tumhe bataaya hoga. Vo to taiyaar hai, ab bas tumhare haan kahne ki der hai, jo sapna hum pehle pura nahi kar paaye the vo ab kar sakte hai. tum bataao, kya mujh se shaadi karogi” ? — sidharth ne coffee peete huve pucha.
“hmm…. Sidharth I respect you a lot. You are real gentleman. Any women would love to marry you. But..” —- maine kaha
“but kya, vo women tum kyo nahi ho sakti ? aakhir tum kyo mujh se shaadi nahi karna chaahti ? bahaana bana rahi ho hai na, tumhe shaayad ab mai acha nahi lagta” ? — sidharth ne emotional tone mein kaha.
“Aisi baat nahi hai sidharth, meri jeendagi uljhi huyi hai, mai tumhe kaise samjhaun” —- maine kaha.
“Mujhe moka to do mai tumhaari har uljhan dur kar dunga, par aisey bahaana mat banaao. Mai tumhe bahut pyar karta hun aur tum mujhe sata rahi ho” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Mai tumhe sata nahi rahi hun sidharth, mai tumhe kaise bataaun, acha ruko mai tumhe kuch deti hun” — maine sidharth se kaha.
“Kya ritu” ? —- sidharth ne pucha.
Mai apne bedroom mein gayi aur apni diary ley aayi. Mai sidharth ko apne muh se sab kuch nahi bata sakti thi. ishliye sidharth ko apni diary dene ka faisala kiya.
“Ye lo sidharth tum ishe padh lo, tum khud samajh jaaoge ki aaj mai kish haalaat mein hun” —- maine sidharth ko apni diary dete huve kaha.
“Kya hai ish diary mein ritu, tum khud kyo nahi bata deti” ? —- sidharth ne pucha.
“Tum khud padh lo sidharth, tab tak mai lunch banaati hun” —– maine kaha
“wow…. kya tum mujhe apne haath ka khaana khilaaogi, aaj to maja aa jayega, bahut dino se maine ghar ka khana nahi khaaya, tumhe to pata hi hai, mai bhi tumhaari tarah yaha mumbai mein akela rah raha hun, aksar baahar hi khaana padta hai” —– sidharth ne mushkurate huve kaha.
“Haan sidharth hum daono saath lunch karenge. Aur haan ish diary mein leekhi kahaani ho sakta hai tumhe bhaddi lage. Dar-asal maine kuch nahi chupaaya. Jo kuch bhi mere saath peechle dino huva hai sab kuch sach sach leekh diya hai ” — maine kaha.
“Theek hai mai padhta hun tum jaldi se lunch banaao mai khaana khane ke liye mara ja raha hun” sidharth ne kaha.
Mai kitchen mein khaana banaane lagi aur sidharth meri diary padhne mein busy ho gaya.
Jaise hi mai lunch bana kar kitchen se baahar aayi to maine dekha ki vo diary ko ek taraf rakh kar chupchaap baitha hai.
Maine pucha “lunch taiyaar hai sidharth kya lunch karein”
“Ritu ye sab kaise ho gaya, mujhe bilkul vishwaas nahi ho raha. mai samajh nahi pa raha hun ki kaise react karun” —- sidharth ne meri aur dekh kar kaha.
“Lunch karte hai sidharth, mai ish baare mein koyi baat nahi kar paaungi. haan itna jaroor kahungi ki ish diary ki ek ek baat sach hai. sach ke alawa maine ish mein kuch nahi leekha.” — maine kaha.
“Ritu acha kiya tumne mujhe ye diary de di. Mere dil mein tumhaare liye samman aur badh gaya hai. mujhe acha laga ki tumne sanjay ko sab kuch sach sach bata diya tha. ” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“par sach bataane mein maine der kar di thi sidharth. ” —- maine sidharth se kaha.
“ritu, agar tum sochti ho ki ish diary mein leekhi baate hamaari shaadi mein rukaavat hai to tum galat ho. Haan mujhe bura laga, balki bahut bura laga, par jaise jaise mai padhta gaya mujhe ye bhi laga ki tum ek achi inshaan ho jishmein ki ache bure ki samajh baaki hai. tumhe apni galti ka ahsaash hai, aur kya chaahiye. mai tumse shaadi karne ke liye taiyaar hun. mujhe ish diary se koyi matlab nahi hai. tum ishmein aag laga do aur sab kuch bhul kar meri jeendagi mein aa jao. Hum dauno nayi shuruvaat karte hai” sidharth ne kaha.
Aisa lag raha tha jaise ki sidharth mere pyar mein andha ho gaya hai
“Oh no sidharth ye diary tumhe dene ka ye matlab nahi tha. tum samajhte kyo nahi ho. Mai abhi bahut uljhan mein hun” —– maine kaha.

 

[The Immortal]

“Ritu mai tumhe abhi shaadi karne ko nahi kah raha hun. ab jab maine ye diary padh li hai to mai samajh sakta hun. tum aaraam se apne kaam par dhyaan dau. Aur rahi ush billu ki baat mujhe dikhaao ki vo kaun hai, ushki akal mai theekane lagaata hun” —— sidharth ne kaha.
Maine apne flat ki sadak ki taraf wali khidki se baahar jhaank kar dekha. Par billu vaha nahi deekha.
“Abhi vo yaha nahi hai. par jab bhi mai subah office jaati hun aur jab shaam ko vaapas aati hun to vo aajkal mere flat ke saamne sadak par milta hai” —- maine kaha
“tum chinta mat karo mai kal subah 9 baje aa jaaunga. Tum company ki car mein mat jaana, hum saath chalenge, theek hai. mai dekhna chaahta hun ki ye billu aakhir kya bala hai” — sidharth ne kaha.
Phir hum daono ne lunch kiya.
Lunch karne ke baad sidharth ne kaha, “tum soch lo ritu, tumhaare paas bahut vakt hai, par mai shaadi tum se hi karunga, I love you from the bottom of my heart. bade se bada toofaan bhi mere pyar ko nahi hila sakta. Ye tumhaari diary bhi nahi. I will wait for you. Ab mai chalta hun, kisi client ke paas jaana hai. kal subah miltey hai theek hai”
Ushki baat shun kar meri aankho mein aanshu aane ko ho gaye. Par maine khud ko thaam liya. pata nahi sidharth mujhe itna pyar kyo karta hai. mujhe yakin nahi tha ki vo ye diary padh kar bhi aisi baat kahega. Yahi kaaran hai ki mai bechan hun. ab sidharth ko mai kaise mana karungi, samajh nahi pa rahi hun.
==========
Date : 9-02-09 11:30 pm
Aaj bahut bade raaj se parda khul gaya
Aaj subah subah alarm ki bajaaye mujhe dipti ke phone ne uthaaya.
Subah 7 baje mera phone baj utha.
“dipti hi…., kya baat hai, itni subah kyo phone kiya” —- maine hairaani mein pucha
“ritu bahut badi baat pata chali hai, abhi abhi manish ka phone aaya tha. saari guthi sulajhati nazar aa rahi hai” —- dipti ne kaha.
Mai jhat se apne bed par baith gayi aur kaha, “acha, jaldi bataao kya pata chala hai”
“ye saari kahaani ek hi naam par ja kar ruk gayi hai, vo hai kavita” —- dipti ne kaha
“ kavita … kaun kavita, ab ye kavita kaha se aa gayi” — maine pucha
“sanjay ke clinic mein nurse thi vo, tum to ushe jaanti hogi” —- dipti ne pucha
“oh haan…. yaad aaya… tum ush kavita ki baat kar rahi ho. Bahut achi aur sarif ladki thi. ek baar chintoo ke birthday par ghar bhi aayi thi. meri ush se achi bol chaal thi. par vo to koyi 2 saal pahle clinic chhod kar chali gayi thi”
“she is missing ritu, 2 saal se vo gaayab hai, ushke saath kya huva, vo ab kaha hai, jeenda hai bhi ya nahi …kisi ko nahi pata” ??? —- dipti ne kaha.
“Ohh mujhe ish baare mein nahi pata tha, ek baar jab mein clinic gayi thi to sanjay se pucha tha ki kavita kaha hai, unhone to yahi kaha tha ki vo vaha se kaam chhod kar chali gayi” — maine kaha
“sanjay to yahi kahega, kyonki ho sakta hai ki kavita ke gaayab hone mein ushka haath ho, manish ko ish baare mein shak hai. haan par vivek ka ishmein pakka haath hai” —- dipti ne kaha
“par mere saath jo kuch huva, ush se kavita ka kya lena dena dipti” — maine hairaani mein pucha.
“billu kavita ka chota bhai hai ritu. aur ye pata chala hai ki vo 2 saal se apni sister ko dhund raha hai. Bahut pyar karta hai vo kavita ko. Ushke ma baap ke marne ke baad kavita ne hi ushe pala hai. police kuch nahi kar rahi. ya phir ye samajh lo ki kisi ke dabaav ke kaaran police kuch karna nahi chaahti. Manish billu ke delhi wale ghar gaya tha. vaha pata chala hai ki billu to bahut sarif aur nek ladka hai”
“bas-bas mujhe pata hai vo kitna nek hai, haan par kavita ke liye mujhe dukh hai, bahut mehanti thi vo. Mai jab bhi clinic jaati thi ushe kaam karte huve hi paati thi. sanjay bhi ushki kaafi taarif karte the, kahte the ki kavita ne akele hi kaafi kaam sambhaal rakha hai” —- maine dipti se kaha.
“Kavita ke hi kaaran manish par ush din jaan leva hamla huva tha. mujhe yakin hai ki sanjay aur vivek nahi chaahte ki kisi ko pata chale ki kavita ke gaayab hone mein unka haath hai. vo hamla un dauno ne hi karvaaya hoga” —– dipti ne kaha
“sanjay aisa nahi karenge, haan vivek kuch bhi kar sakta hai. par vo to mar gaya hoga. Maine khud ushe goli maari thi.” —- maine kaha.
“Ish baare mein mujhe nahi pata. Par itna jaroor saaf ho gaya hai ki billu kavita ke kaaran hi tumhaare peeche pada tha. shaayad ushe shak hoga ki kavita ke gaayab hone mein sanjay ka haath hai” —- dipti ne kaha.
“Ish se ushka gunaah kam nahi ho jaata” — maine kaha.
“Vo to theek hai ritu, mai to bas billu ka motive bata rahi thi. par yaar manish ab kavita ke case par lag gaya hai. he is taking it personally now, vo samajh hi nahi raha hai ki ish mein ushki jaan ko khatra hai, mujhe dar lag raha hai” —– dipti ne kaha
“dipti lagta hai vo ziddi hai. tum bas ushe ye samjaao ki apna khyaal rakhe. Mujhe nahi lagta ki ushe samjhaane ka koyi faayda hoga. Aur tum daro mat ab to vo bilkul theek hai, hai na”
“kaha theek hai, ladkhada kar chalta hai abhi bhi, par chalo, ab mai chalti hun, mujhe office ke liye bhi taiyaar hona hai” —- dipti ne kaha
“ohh… mai bhi late ho rahi hun, bye phir fursat mein baat karenge” — maine kaha
maine jaldi se fresh ho kar breakfast kiya aur office ke liye taiyaar ho gayi. par har pal mere man mein dipti ki kahi baatein ghum rahi thi.
maine khidki se baahar jhaank kar dekha, vaha koyi nahi tha. maine socha ki shaayad billu thodi der mein aane wala hoga.
Theek 9 baje sidharth ne door bell bajaayi.
Jaise hi maine darvaaja khola ushne pucha, “ baahar sadak par to koyi nahi hai, ye diary tumhari koyi fiction story to nahi hai”
Nahi sidharth billu roj subah sadak par khada milta hai. aaj shaayad vo nahi aaya. Phir maine sidharth ko subah waali baat bata di. Maine ushe vo sab kuch bata diya jo ki dipti ne mujhe bataaya tha.
“hmm…..very sad… but still, billu is a criminal” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Haan mein bhi yahi sochti hun” —- maine kaha
jaise hi mai apne ghar se sidharth ke saath nikli meri aankhe charo taraf billu ko hi dhund rahi thi. mai ush se milna to nahi chaahti thi, haan par ye jaroor soch rahi thi ki aakhir vo aaj yaha kyon nahi aaya.
“Billu ko hi dhund rahi ho, hai na” ? —- sidharth ne emotional tone mein pucha
Maine ushki aur dekha aur boli, “mai hairaan hun ki aaj vo kyo nahi aaya”
“Acha hi to hai, ush se ab tumhe kya matlab, bhaad mein jaaye vo” —- sidharth ne thoda gusse mein kaha
mein samajh gayi ki sidharth ko hurt huva hai. mai chupchaap ushki car mein baith gayi aur yaha vaha dekhna band kar diya.
kitni ajeeb baat hai, kayi baar hum aisi harkate kar jaate hai ki hamein bhi nahi pata chalta ki hum kyo kar rahe hai. dar-asal subah dipti se baat karne ke baad mai billu se ek baar milna chaahti thi. yahi kaaran tha ki mai subah ushe sadak par na paa kar hairaan ho rahi thi. sidharth ko ye baat buri lagni hi thi. vo mujhe pyar jo karta hai.
saara din office mein bada hi mushkil beeta. Man kar raha tha ki abhi ghar chali jaaun, billu jaroor mere flat ke aas paas hi hoga. Ek ek pal mera badi mushkil se beet raha tha. kavita ka chehra bhi baar baar mere man mein ghum raha tha. mai ye bhi soch rahi thi ki agar billu itna nek hai to mere saath itni ghinoni harkat kyo ki ushne. Jo bhi ho, mai ek baar billu se milna chaahti thi.
maine lunch time mein apne office ke baahar bhi dekha, par vo vaha bhi nazar nahi aaya. Maine socha ki ho sakta hai vo delhi chala gaya ho. Phir khyaal aaya ki shaam ko ghar jaate vakt vo jaroor sadak par mil jaayega.
Ishi udhedbun mein mera har pal beet raha tha.
5:30 baje mein jhat se sabhi kaam nipta kar ghar ke liye nikal padi. Bahut bechan thi mai ghar pahunchane ke liye.
mera ghar aa gaya par billu kahi nazar nahi aa raha tha. maine car se utar kar charo aur nazar daudaayi par dur dur tak mujhe billu ki parchaayi tak nahi deekhi. Maine man hi man socha kaha chala gaya aaj vo ?
driver ne pucha, “madam kishi ko dhund rahe ho kya:”
“nahi tum jao aur kal time par aa jaana” —- maine driver se kaha.
Mai teji se apne flat ki taraf chal padi. Chalte chalte soch rahi thi ki jaroor billu ne aaj bhi koyi chit chhodi hogi
Par aaj koyi chit nahi thi
“Billu kaha gaya, kya vo vaapas delhi chala gaya, vaise vo kah to raha tha ki meri financial position theek nahi hai, mai yaha jyada der nahi tahar sakta” ——- Yahi sab mere deemag mein ghum raha tha.
Phir mujhe khyaal aaya ki gate way of India par jaakar dekhti hun, vo jaroor vahi hoga.
Sidharth ne mujhe bataaya tha ki gate way of India tumhaare ghar se walking distance par hai
Maine jhat se ghar ko lock kiya aur paidal hi logo se puchte puchte gate way of India ki taraf chal padi.
Aur jaisa ki mujhe lag raha tha, billu mujhe vahi mila. vo gate way of India ke paas jo samunder ke charo aur deevar bani hai ush se sat kar khada tha.
Ushka chehra samunder ki aur tha aur aisa lag raha tha jaise ki vo gahre vichaaro mein khoya hai.
Mai ushke karib aa gayi. par vo jaise ek murti ki tarah khada tha aur ek tak samunder ko dekhe ja raha tha. aisa lag raha tha jaise ki ushe hosh hi nahi hai ki ushke aas paas kya ho raha hai.
Mai bilkul ushke peeche khadi thi. samajh nahi pa rahi thi ki ushe kaise bulaaun.
“Billu, kavita ke baarein mein shun kar dukh huva” —- maine dheere se kaha.
Par billu ke sharir mein koyi harkat nahi huyi. Vo vaise hi murti ki tarah vaha khada raha
Maine ushke kandhe par haath rakha aur kaha, “billu mujhe kavita ke liye dukh hai”
Vo dheere se meri aur ghuma aur maine ushki aankho mein aanshu dekhe. Yakin hi nahi ho raha tha ki billu ro bhi sakta hai. ushki aankho mein aanshu dekh kar meri aankhe bhi nam ho gayi.
Vo mere gale lag gaya aur phoot phoot kar rone laga aur bola, “ pata nahi kaha gaayab kar diya meri didi ko kamino ne ritu”
Mai bhi bhaavuk ho gayi. maine ushe rokne ki koshis nahi ki. billu aaj ek bacha lag raha tha. mai soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki vo ish tarah ro sakta hai.
Mai ushe chaah kar bhi apne sheene se nahi hata paayi. Charo aur log hamein hi dekh rahe the. Tabhi maine dur se sidharth ko aate dekha. Mai sidharth ko dekh kar hadbada gayi. soch rahi thi ki pata nahi vo kya sochega mujhe billu ke saath aisi haalat mein dekh kar.

 

[The Immortal]

Maine billu se kaha, billu bas hat jao, log hamein hi dekh rahe hai
Maine ushke kandho ko pakda aur ushe dur hataane ki koshis ki par tabhi vo mere haath se chhut kar jamin par gir gaya.
“Billu utho….. kya ho gaya tumhe” —- maine billu ko hilaate huve kaha
Tabhi sidharth bhi vaha aa gaya.
“Kya huva ishe ritu” —- sidharth ne pucha
pata nahi sidharth abhi mere gale lag kar bahut ro raha tha, achaanak neeche gir gaya
“ohh ye behosh ho gaya hai. ishe hospital ley chaltey hai, hato mai ishe uthaata hun” —- sidharth ne mujhe billu ke upar se hataate huve kaha.
Sidharth ne billu ko apne dauno haato mein utha liya aur utha kar apni car ki taraf chal diya aur bola, “jaldi chalo ritu sochne ka vakt nahi hai, pata nahi ishe kya huva hai”
Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya ho raha hai. par ye sach tha ki mai billu ke liye bahut pareshaan thi. aisa kyon tha. ishka mere paas koyi jawaab nahi hai.
Sidharth ne billu ko car ki peechli sheet par leta diya aur hum dauno aage baith gaye.
“Kya kah raha tha billu” — sidharth ne pucha
“kuch nahi ushne bas ek hi baat kahi ki ‘pata nahi kaha gaayab kar diya meri didi ko kamino ne ritu’ aur phir phoot phoot kar rone laga” — maine sidharth se kaha
“hmm…… lagta hai kisi gahre shock mein hai vo” — sidharth ne kaha
“haan hoga hi sidharth, ushki didi gaayab hai 2 saal se” —- maine kaha
jaldi hi sidharth ne car ek clinic ke baahar rok di.
Sidharth ne jhat se billu ko car se baahar nikaala aur ushe utha kar seedha clinic mein ghuss gaya.
Pata nahi sidharth ye sab kyo kar raha tha. par itna jaroor tha ki ish se ye baat saabit ho rahi thi ki sidharth bahut acha inshaan hai. kyonki vo ush ladke ki madad kar raha tha jishke kaaran vo subah hurt huva tha.
Doctor ne billu ko glucose chadhaya aur check karne ke baad kaha.
“Lagta hai koyi bahut gahra mental shock laga hai ishe. Par ishe khaana to theek se khilaaya karo aap log. Lagta hai 2-3 din se ishne kuch nahi khaaya hai” —- doctor ne kaha
maine man hi man mein socha “ohh god kya billu ki financial position itni khraab thi ki ushke paas khaane tak ko paise nahi the”. aur meri aankho mein aanshu bhar aaye. kaisi ajeeb baat ho rahi thi. mai ush billu ke liye aanshu baha rahi thi jishne mujhe barbaad kiya tha. jeendagi bhi ajeeb khel khelti hai.
Chapter 4 part 3
Aisa nahi tha ki billu se meri naraazgi dur ho gayi thi, aur na hi aisa tha ki maine ushe maaf kar diya tha, par phir bhi ek inshaan hone ke naate mai billu ke liye pareshaan thi.chaahe ushne mujhe barbaad kiya ho par phir bhi ushka mujh se koyi na koyi sambandh to tha hi.
Billu ko thodi hi der mein hosh aa gaya. Vo hadbada kar ek dam se uth gaya aur bola, “mai kaha hun”
Mai vahi ushke karib hi thi, sidharth bhi mere saath hi khada tha.
Maine kaha, “billu tum behosh ho gaye the, abhi tum clinic mein ho, chinta mat karo sab theek hai”
“Kuch theek nahi hai ritu, mujhe tumse akele mein baat karni hai” ——- billu ne meri aur dekh kar kaha.
Sidharth ne meri aur dekha aur maine ushe aankho hi aankho mein vaha se baahar jaane ki request ki.
Sidharth mera ishaara samajh gaya, aur baahar chala gaya. Bahut hi ajeeb pal tha vo mere liye. soch rahi thi ki kahi sidharth ko bura na feel ho ki mai billu se baat kyo karna chaahti hun. par pata nahi kyo mai billu ki baat shun-na chaahti thi
sidharth ke jaane ke baad billu bola, “
baith jao ritu”
pehle tum kuch khaa lo billu doctor kah raha tha ki tumne 2-3 din se kuch nahi khaaya, kya tumhaari financial position itni khraab hai
meri baat shun kar vo thodi der tak meri aur dekhta raha, jaise ki mere chehre par kuch padh raha ho.
Maine ushe dhyaan se dekha to paya ki ushki aankhe nam thi. vo nam aankhe liye mujhe dekhe ja raha tha.
Vo bola, “kya tumhe meri chinta ho rahi hai ritu, aisa mat karo mai ish laayak nahi hun”
“Nahi aisi baat nahi hai, doctor kah raha tha ki tumne kuch dino se kuch nahi khaaya ishliye kah rahi thi” —- maine kaha
“financial position itni bhi kharab nahi hai. kal jab tumne mandir ke baahar mujhe yaha se dafa ho jaane ko kaha to meri umeed tut gayi. lag raha tha ki tumse mile bina hi yaha se jaana padega. ishliye kal mera kuch khaane ka man nahi huva. Aur aaj ishliye nahi kha paya kyonki aaj meri didi kavita ka birthday hai aur mujhe kuch nahi pata ki vo kaha hai, kish haal mein hai, ish duniya mein hai bhi ya nahi. aisi haalat mein koyi kaise khaana khaayega ritu. Mai ek bhai ka farz neebhaane mein naakaam raha hun.” —- billu ne emotinal ho kar kaha.
“Billu mai samajh rahi hun, pehle tum khaana kha lo phir baat karenge, mai tumhaari baat shun-ne key liye taiyaar hun” —– maine kaha
“nahi ritu tumhe sab kuch bataaye bina ek nivaala bhi mere muh se nahi utrega, pehle meri baat shun lo, khaana peena to hota rahega” —— billu meri aur dekh kar bola
“Chalo theek hai, shunaao mai shun rahi hun” — maine kaha
“pehle ye bataao kaisi ho tum” ——- billu ne meri aur dekh kar pucha
“kaisi lag rahi hun billu………….. bas jee rahi hun, varna to ab bacha hi kya hai” —- maine bhavuk ho kar kaha.
“Samajh sakta hun, peechle 2 saal se meri bhi yahi haalat hai” ——- billu ne kaha
“ishliye tumne meri bhi yahi haalat kar di”
? —– maine pucha
“haalaat hi kuch aise the ritu, varna aaj tak maine kisi ko nukshaan nahi pahunchaaya, shuno mai tumhe puri baat deatail mein bataata hun.” —– billu ne kaha
maine kaha, “haan shunaao mai jaan-na chaahti hun ki meri barbaadi ka kya kaaran hai”
billu ke shabdo mein :—–
ritu, meri didi kavita mere liye sab kuch thi. mere parents koyi 10 saal pehle ek accident mein maare gaye the. Ushke baad meri didi kavita ne hi mujhe paal posh kar itna bada kiya hai. vo koyi tumse 3 saal badi hongi.
didi ne jab 2005 mein faridabad mein sanjay ke clinic mein join kiya tha to vo kaafi khus thi. Par mein unke saath faridabad nahi aa sakta tha. tab mai b.com second year mein tha. ishliye delhi mein hi rahta tha. par kabhi kabhi didi se milne aa jata tha.
sab kuch acha chal raha tha. mai didi ke liye koyi ladka dhund raha tha. vaise vo hamesha kahti thi ki tum chinta mat karo apni padhaayi par dhyaan do, mai khud sab kuch sambhaal lungi. Par mai ye ache se jaanta tha ki unhe mere kaaran apni shaadi ki chinta nahi hai.
khair maine didi ke liye ek ladka dhund hi liya. ladka sarif tha aur ushke ghar vaalo ki koyi demand bhi nahi thi. hamaari haalat vaise bhi aisi nahi thi ki jyada dahej de saken. ladka settle tha, aur bank mein P.O tha.
maine 2-02-2007 ki subah ko didi ko phone karke bataaya ki aap chhuti ley kar delhi aa jao, maine ek ladka pasand kiya hai, ladke vaale aapko dekhna chaahte hai.
pehle to unhone mujhe daanta ki apni padhaayi chhod kar bekaar ke kaam mein kyon lage ho, par phir vo delhi aane ke liye maan gayi aur mujhe kaha, “ lagta hai, ab tum badey ho gaye ho”
ye bol mujhe abhi tak yaad hai kyonki ushke baad aaj tak mai didi ki awaaj ke liye taras raha hun. har pal lagta hai ki abhi phone bajega, abhi koyi aahat hogi aur didi mujhe kahegi, “billu tum padhaayi kyon nahi kar rahe”
3-2-07…ko mai sara din bechain raha. subah se dopahar huyi aur dopahar se shaam, ladke wale bahut der tak baith kar chale gaye. Jaate jaate kah gaye, “koyi baat nahi beta, hum phir kabhi aa jaayenge”
mai didi ka mobile no. try kar-kar ke thak gaya. Har baar unka mobile switched off aa raha tha.mujhe lag raha tha ki kuch na kuch gadbad hai, varna didi kabhi apna mobile off nahi rakhti hai.
shaam ke koyi 6 baje maine faridabad jaane ka faisala kiya. Ek ghanta to delhi ke ISBT pahunchne mein hi lag gaya. Mai koyi 9 baje faridabad pahunch gaya aur seedha vaha pahunch gaya jaha didi paying guest thi. par vaha mujhe lock mila. maine aas paas ke logo se pucha to unhone bataaya ki unhone kal se kavita ko nahi dekha. Ek lady ne ye bhi bataaya ki kal se vo vaha aayi hi nahi thi.
phir maine didi ke clinic matlab ki sanjay ke clinic jaane ka faisala kiya.
Clinic pahunch kar maine sanjay se pucha, “doctor meri sister kavita kaha hai” ?
Ushne mujhe ghur kar dekha aur bola, “vo to yaha se kaam chhod kar chali gayi, mujhe nahi pata vo kaha hai”
Ye shun kar mai hairaan rah gaya. Mai soch raha tha ki, didi ne to aisa kuch nahi bataaya, abhi kal hi to unse meri baat huyi thi.
Mai mayusi bhara chehra lekar clinic se baahar aa gaya.
Tabhi mujhe yaad aaya ki didi aksar kishi veena joseph ke baare mein baat karti thi. veena joseph ne didi ko nursing field mein kaafi practical tips di thi.
Mai phir se clinic mein ghuss gaya aur ek nurse se pucha “kya aap veena joseph ko jaanti hai” ?
Ushne mujhe haath se ishaara kiya ki vo saamne veena joseph hi khadi hai.
Mai veena joseph ke paas gaya aur unse pucha ki meri didi kavita kaha hai.
Unhone mujhe dheere se kaha ki clinic ke baahar wait karo mein baahar aati hun.
Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha ki vo aisa kyo kah rahi hai
Mai clinic ke baahar aa gaya aur thodi der mein veena joseph bhi aa gayi. rah rah kar mujhe didi ki chinta ho rahi thi. yahi soch raha tha ki aakhir vo kaha hai.
Veena joseph ne mujhe bataaya, “beta kal kavita shaam ko sanjay ke cabin mein gayi thi. kah rahi thi ki ek din ki chuti maangne jaa rahi hun. par jab vo baahar nikli to ushki aankho mein aanshu the. vo bina kisi se kuch kahe clinic se nikal gayi. Ushke peeche peeche maine sanjay ke dost vivek ko jaate dekha. Bas itna hi mujhe pata hai. aaj vo clinic nahi aayi. Maine doctor se pucha to unhonr mujhe yahi bataaya ki vo kaam chhod kar chali gayi. vaise kavita yaha kuch dino se pareshaan thi. ye vivek aksar ushke saath ched-chad karta tha. kayi baar maine khud apni aankho se ushe kavita ko chedte dekha hai. par kal jaroor kuch jyada huva hoga, ishliye ushki aankho mein aanshu the.
Ye shun kar mera dil baith gaya, mai soch bhi nahi sakta tha ki didi ke saath aisa hoga
Maine pucha, “kya jab kavita baahar aayi thi, tab doctor sanjay bhi ander the”
Veena joseph ne bataaya, “ haan dr. sanjay ander hi the”
Ye sunte hi meri rago mein khun daud gaya. Mai bhaag kar sanjay ke cabin mein ghuss gaya aur ushe itna maara ki ushke muh se khun nikalne laga. par tabhi na jaane kaha se vivek bhi vaha aa gaya aur dauno ne mujhe kaabu kar liya. mai phir bhi unhe sambhaal leta par vivek ke paas pistol thi.
“Kaun hai ye sanjay” — vivek ne pucha.
“Ye kavita ka bhai hai vivek, tu ish par nishaana laga kar rakh mai ishe bataata hun ki kaise kishi ko maara jaata hai” ——- sanjay ne vivek se kaha
sanjay ne mere pet mein, muh par… har taraf ghusson ki bochar kar di
mai gir gaya, kya karta vaise bhi vivek ne mere upar bandook taan rakhi thi
“ohh haan yaad aaya mera mobile kaha hai, ishe aisi maut dunga ki tadap tadap kar marega saala haraami, mujh par haath uthaayega” —- sanjay ne kaha
sanjay ne meri aankho ke aage apna mobile kiya. ushme ek movie clip chal rahi thi.
pata hai ritu ush clip mein kya tha.
billu thodi der chup ho gaya aur maine dekha ki vo ro raha hai.
maine pucha “kya tha billu bataao mai shun rahi hun”
meri didi ro rahi thi aur rote-rote jor jor se cheella rahi thi aur vivek ushke saath ** kar raha tha. mujh se dekha nahi gaya maine apni aankhe band kar li. Par tabhi mere sar par sanjay ne kursi de maari aur mai jamin par gir gaya.
Tab sanjay ne mere sar ke baal pakad kar kheenche aur apne mobile ko meri aankho ke saamne ley aaya aur bola, “dekh saale kya hot maal hai teri bahan, kya maje se cheella cheella kar de rahi hai”
Meri didi ro rahi thi, aur vivek ushke saath…..
“Bas billu….. bas karo, mai aur nahi shun paaungi” —- maine apne kaano par haath rakh kar kaha.
Ritu meri didi ke saath koyi 4 log ** kar rahe the aur mujhe jabardasti sab kuch dekhaaya gaya. Sanjay aur vivek ko to mai jaanta hun, baaki ke 2 logo ka mujhe nahi pata ki vo kaun the. Aur pata hai jagah kaun si thi.
“Kaun si billu” —– maine pucha.
“Tumhaara bedroom ritu, vahi bedroom jaha ush din mein tumhe apni baahon mein utha kar ley gaya tha. tumhaara bedroom dekhte hi mai pehchaan gaya tha ki ye vahi mobile clip wali jagah hai” — billu ne kaha

 

[The Immortal]

maine kaha “oh yaad aaya un dino mai shaayad apne maayke mein thi, matlab ki delhi mein thi, par kya sanjay ne bhi…”
“kah to raha hun, vaha 4 log the sanjay unme se ek tha” ——- billu ne meri aur dekh kar kaha.
“Oh god….. mujhe vishwaas nahi hota” —- maine kaha
“Yehi vo vajah thi jishke kaaran maine ush din sanjay ko vaha khidki par bulaaya aur apne peeche ashok aur raju ko khada kar liya. ashok aur raju tumhaare liye vaha nahi the ritu, vo sanjay ko deekhaane ke liye the. Mai ushe deekhaana chaahta tha ki dekho kaisa lagta hai kisi apne ko aisi haalat mein dekh kar” —- billu ne kaha
“Par kya tumhe meri koyi chinta nahi thi, tumne ek pal ko bhi nahi socha ki mera kya hoga” — maine billu ki aur dekh kar pucha
“Ritu mai to ush din ko taalna chaahta tha. tumhe yaad hoga maine tumhe kaha tha ki tum sanjay ko sab kuch bata dau, yaad hai na tumhe, maine kaha tha na. ” billu ne pucha
“Haan yaad hai, par tumhe mujhe ashok ke aage fenkne ki kya jaroorat thi” —- maine pucha
billu continue….
mai bas sanjay ko barbaad karna chaahta tha aur chaahta tha ki ushki biwi ke charitra ko chalni chalni kar dun.
Par baad mein mujhe apni galti ka ahsaash huva. shaayad mujhe tumse pyar hone laga tha.
ishliye maine ush cycle wale ko maara tha. mai bilkul bardast nahi kar paaya ki ush cycle wale ne tumhe bus mein cheda hai. ush vakt mujhe pehli baar ahsaash huva tha ki mai tumse pyar karta hun.
par badle ki aag tab tak pyar par haavi thi. ishliye pyar itna ubhar nahi paya.
ashok ne kayi baar baad mein mujhe kaha ki ritu ko ek baar phir ley aao, par maine ushe saaf mana kar diya tha ki mere alawa ushe koyi nahi chooyega. Aur ushe ye bhi kah diya tha ki tumne agar aisa socha bhi to tumhe jaan se maar dunga. Aisa asar huva tha tumhaara mujh par.
Par ush din sanjay ko deekhaane ke liye jaroor ashok aur raju ko peeche khada kiya tha. mere liye bhi vo pal mushkil tha. mai tumhe dukh nahi dena chaahta tha. par badle ki aag mein mai sab kuch kar gaya”
Par aaj sochta hun ki mujhe kya mila ?
Mujhe kuch nahi mila ritu, meri didi aaj bhi gaayab hai aur aaj mai tumhaara gunahgaar ban gaya hun.
Ush din mai vahi sanjay ke cabin mein hi mar jaata to acha hota. Par kishi tarah se mai bach gaya.
Ush vakt sanjay se koyi milne aa gaya tha.
kishi nurse ne baahar se awaaj lagaayi, “doctor aapse shukla ji milne aaye hai”
sanjay aur vivek ka dhyaan mere upar se hat gaya aur mai moka dekh kar cabin ki khidki se kud gaya.
Par maine jo ush mobile mein clip dekhi thi vo aaj bhi mere deemag mein ghum rahi hai.
Apni didi ko aakhri baar dekha bhi to kaha dekha, ek mobile ki clip mein, unka ** hote huve.
Maine police mein report ki, sab kuch kiya jo mere bas mein tha, par aaj tak meri didi ka kuch nahi pata ritu, kuch nahi pata. Pata nahi ** karne ke baad unhone meri didi ke saath kya kiya. Ab mujhe lagne laga hai ki meri didi ish duniya mein nahi hai. mai ab yahi sochta hun ki vo log kam se kam meri didi ko jeenda to chhod dete. Kishi se bhi jeene ka adhikaar yu hi nahi cheen lena chaahiye.
…………
Sach mein billu ne jo mujhe bataaya ushe shun kar mere rongte khade ho gaye. Kya biti hogi beechari kavita par mai soch bhi nahi sakti. acha kiya maine jo ush din vivek ko goli maar di.
Sabse jyada hairaan mein sanjay ke baare mein shun kar thi.
Mere man par bojh tha ki maine sanjay ko dhoka diya hai, aaj ye bojh mere man se hat gaya.
“Ritu kya soch rahi ho” —- billu ne pucha.
“Kuch nahi billu kya sochun ab, tumne vo kiya jo tumhe theek laga, par barbaadi to dauno taraf ek aurat ki hi huyi. Udhar kavita barbaad huyi…. idhar mai…… ye kaisa khel hai” ? —– maine billu ki aur dekh kar kaha.
Billu ne apne haath se glucose hata diya aur bed se utar kar mere kadmo mein baith gaya.
“Ritu mai apni galti maanta hun, ishliye sab kuch bhula kar mumbai aaya hun. mujhe ab ye bhi yaad nahi hai ki mujhe kishi se badla lena hai. mai thak chuka hun. mujhe aaj bas ek baat yaad hai, aur vo ye hai ki “mai tumhe pyar karta hun” ——– billu ne mere haatho ko thaam kar kaha.
“Pyaar kya hota hai, tumhe ishka matlab bhi pata hai billu” —– maine pucha
“mujhe nahi pata, mujhe bas ek ahsaash hai ki mai tumhaare bina nahi rah sakta. Tumhaare sharir ko paa kar mein tumhaari aatma tak pahunch gaya hun. aur pata hai maine kya paya hai vaha pahunch kar” ? —- billu ne meri aankho mein dekh kar pucha
Maine pucha, “kya billu” ?
“Maine paya hai ki jeetna shunder tumhaara sharir hai, ush se bhi kahi shunder tumhaara man hai” — billu ne kaha
“rahne do billu mujhe mere ander andhera nazar aata hai aur tumhe vaha shundarta deekh rahi hai” — maine kaha
“jo maine dekha hai bata raha hun, aur ye sach hai” — billu ne kaha
“mai havash mein andhi ho kar tumhaare saath kho gayi thi, ushe tum sundarta kahte ho, vo meri sabse badi bhool thi” —– maine billu se kaha
“ritu tumhaare saath jo maine kiya vo koyi maamuli seduction nahi tha. that was in a way extreme form of seduction. Maine tumhe bahakne par majboor kiya tha, aur aaj bhi kar sakta hun. par aaj baat pyar ki hai. mai mumbai tumhe paane aaya hun. apni didi ko to maine kho diya, par tumhe mai nahi khona chaahta” —- billu ne kaha
Maine gusse mein pucha “Ye kya bakwaas hai billu, tum ye sab soch bhi kaise sakte ho, mai soch rahi thi ki tumhe apni galti ka ahsaash hai”
“Meri galti ye thi ki maine tumhe ashok ke paas bhej diya. ushi ke liye mai sharminda hun. par mujhe lagta hai, ushke baad jo bhi maine kiya ush mein mera pyar tha ritu. Maine bahut gahraayi se pyar kiya hai tumhe. Mere har sexual act mein pyar tha. bahut pyar se choosta tha mai tumhaari yoni ko. Jaise koyi bhagvaan ki puja karta ho. Vaise purane jamaane mein to yoni ki puja hoti hi thi. maine apne honto se tumhari yoni ko puja hai ritu. That was nothing but simple love. Jab mai tumhe pyar karta tha to bas tum mein kho jaata tha. Tum yu hi mere saath nahi bahak jaati thi. mera pyar tumhe bahkaata tha. Varna tum khud socho tum kyon ush din khud apne ghar ke peeche chali aayi thi. vo bhi mujhse bhi pehle. Maine tumhe dub kar pyar kiya hai ritu. Vo sab pyar hi tha. varna aaj mai yaha nahi hota. Ish baat ka ahsaash mujhe ab huva hai, tumhe bhi jaldi hoga” billu ne kaha
“Mere saare ahsaash khatam ho chuke hai billu, mere ander ab bas andhera hai, vo adhera jo tumne bhara hai. aisi baate karke tum phir se ushi raste par ja rahe ho” —– maine kaha
“Nahi ritu ye vo rasta bilkul nahi hai. vo rasta havash ka tha, ye rasta pyar ka hai, aaj mujhe tumse pyar hai aur der saber ye baat tumhe bhi feel hogi ki tum bhi mujhe pyar karti ho. Hum daono jud chuke hai ritu, hum ander tak jude hai. varna aaj tum gate way of India par nahi aati. Apne dil se pucho kya tum mere liye bechan ho kar vaha nahi aayi thi” — billu ne meri aur dekh kar pucha
“Ishliye aayi thi ki aaj mujhe pata chala tha ki tumhaari sister gaayab hai, ishliye nahi aayi thi ki mujhe tumse pyar hai” —- maine thoda gusse mein kaha
“pyar apna hint deta hai ritu, pyar situation create karta. Ye aap par hai ki aap ushke hint ko pehchaane. tum samajhti kyon nahi. pata hai mai behosh kyon huva tha” ? —– billu ne pucha
“kyon…. ab ye bhi bata do” —- maine pucha
“mujhe vishwaas hi nahi huva ki tum aa gayi, ishliye jab tumne mujhe peeche se awaaj di mai samajh nahi paaya ki kya karun. Aur jab tumhaare muh se apni didi ka naam shuna to khud ko sambhaalna mushkil ho gaya. Mai itna khus tha ki rone laga aur tumhaare gale lag kar behosh ho gaya. Ritu we are made for each other. Tum bas meri ho ritu…..bas meri” —– billu ne kaha
Mujh se ye sab shun-na mushkil huva ja raha tha. mai vaha se khadi ho gayi aur baahar jaane lagi.
Billu ne mujhe peeche se awaaj di “ tum kuch bhi kar lo ritu tum mujhe kabhi nahi bhula paaogi. Jaise mai tumhaare liye tadap raha hun tum bhi mere liye tadpogi”
Mai vaapas billu ke paas aayi aur ushe kaha, “billu vo din kabhi nahi aayega jish din mai tumhaare liye tadpun. Aaj mai bas kavita ke kaaran tumse milne aayi thi. mujhe ye bhi dukh tha ki tum 2-3 din se bhuke ho, par ab lag raha hai ki tum bilkul nahi sudhre”
“Mai tumhaare kaaran hi bhuka tha ritu, aur mai ab vo nahi hun jo tum samajh rahi ho. Aaj mai tumse pyar maang raha hun. pehle tumhaara sharir maangta tha. par tum dekh lena jaise maine tumhaara sharir paaya hai… vaise hi tumhaara pyar bhi paaunga. Ab tumhaara pyar hi meri jeendagi ka maksad hai ritu. Apni didi ko kho chuka hun, tumhe nahi kho sakta” —– billu ne kaha
“Billu meri baat dhyaan se shuno aur yaha se chale jao, jo tum soch rahe ho vo kabhi nahi hoga” —- maine baahar jaate huve kaha.
“Ritu ek minut” — billu ne mujhe peeche se awaaj di.
Mai ruk gayi aur boli, “kya hai billu.. ab tum had se aage badh rahe ho”
Vo mere paas aa gaya aur bola, “ ritu thank you very much. Aaj tum aayi. Tumhe sab kuch bata kar man halka ho gaya. Par aaj maine tumhaari aankho mein apne liye pyar dekha hai. mujhe yakin hai ki ek din tum bhi ye pyar dekh paaogi. Mujhe pura yakin hai”
“Jish din mujhe tumse pyaar hoga vo meri jeendagi ka aakhri din hoga billu. mai tumhe maaf kar sakti hun, par apne aap ko kabhi nahi. mai vo ahsaash dubaara jeendagi mein kabhi nahi aane dungi. vo paap tha aur paap ko tum aaj pyar nahi kah sakte” —– maine kaha aur mud kar kamre se baahar ki aur chal di.
“Vo paap jab mere liye pyar ban gaya to tum bhi nahi bach paaogi ritu. Dekhna ek din tum khud meri baahon mein aaogi. Mera pyaar tumhe kheench laayega. Mai ab yahin mumbai mein hi rahunga ritu, jab tak mujhe umeed hai tumhe paane ki mai yahi rahunga. Ho sakta hai mai kabhi kaamyaab na ho paaun. Par tumhaare liye kuch bhi kar sakta hun” —- billu ne mujhe peeche se awaaj laga kar kaha
mai kamre se baahar aa gayi
sidharth kahin nahi deekh raha tha.
tabhi billu bhi baahar aa gaya aur ek nurse se bola, “please bill bana deejiye, mai ja raha hun. mujhe mere pyar ko paana hai”
“theek hai bana deti hun, wait a minut” —– nurse ne billu se kaha.
Mai vaha se aage badh gayi
Tabhi sidharth aata huva deekhayi diya.
“Kaha chale gaye the tum sidharth” —- maine pucha
“bas yu hi thoda tahal raha tha, kaisa hai billu” ? —- sidharth ne pucha
“Vo theek hai, balki kuch jyada hi theek hai, chalo chalte hai” —- maine kaha.
“Hmm… chalo… mujhe koyi problem nahi hai, vaise kya baat ki ushne” —- sidharth ne pucha.
“Kuch nahi bas bata raha tha ki kyon vo mere peeche pada tha” —- maine kaha……. aur sidharth ko kavita ki kahaani shuna di.
“Oh very sad, par itni der tak yahi baate chal rahi thi kya” —– sidharth ne pucha.
“haan yahi sab aur kuch bekaar ki baate, chhodo unse hamein koyi lena dena nahi hai” —– maine kaha.

 

[The Immortal]

aur ish tarah ish din ka ant huva. Subah se lekar shaam tak kuch na kuch hota raha.
ab billu pyar ki baat kar raha hai. mujhe nahi lagta ki mai ushe dubaara dekhna bhi chaahungi. Ush se pyar to dur ki baat hai. billu se pyar mere liye zahar ke samaan hoga. Ye zahar mai kabhi nahi khaaungi.
Date : 11-02-09
Billu ne jo kuch bhi clinic mein kaha ushe mere liye hazam karna mushkil hai. aisa lagta hai ki vo apne ushi puraane roop mein aa gaya hai. bahut confident ho kar ushne kaha tha ki tumhe aaj bhi seduce kar sakta hun. pata nahi vo khud ko kya samajhta hai.
Par aaj mai jaanti hun ki vo kaun hai. par vo nahi jaanta ki aaj mai vo ritu nahi hun, jo ushki baato mein aa kar bahak jaati thi. bahut gahri chot khaayi hai maine billu ke saath bahak kar. Ye aisi chot thi ki ab mere saare ahsaash hi mar chuke hai. ek aurat hone ka gorav main kho chuki hun. sex naam se mujhe nafrat ho gayi hai. ab mujhe pyar ka bhi ahsaash nahi hota. Tabhi to mai sidharth ke pyar ka jawaab pyar se nahi de pa rahi hun. ishliye mujhe nahi lagta ki main sidharth se shaadi kar ke ek patni ka farz nibha paaungi. Acha yahi hai ki apni baaki ki jeendagi ka safar mai akele hi taiy karun.
Vaise bhi mere paas chintoo hai, ush ke saath baaki ki jeendagi kat jaayegi.
Lekin ek baat mere man mein aa rahi hai. kahin billu apni sister kavita ke ** ki jhuti kahaani to nahi bana raha. ushne shuru se mere saath makkaari ki hai. kahin vo phir se to koyi khel nahi khel raha. jaisa ushka clinic mein behaviour tha ush se to yahi lagta hai ki vo bilkul nahi badla. Pehle seduction kar raha tha ab pyar hai, kya majaak hai ye. Ushki baato mein kishi saajish ki bu aa rahi hai.
Khair ab mai ushe ache se jaanti hun ki vo kya hai, ab mein dubaara dhoka nahi khaaungi.
Date : 11-02-09
Shaam ke 8 baje hai, abhi abhi sidharth yaha se gaya hai.
Aaj maine sidharth ko ye baat saaf kar di ki mai ush se hargeez shaadi nahi kar sakti.
“Kyon ritu kya baat hai, kya tum ab mujhe jara bhi pyar nahi karti” —- sidharth ne pucha.
Maine kaha, “sidharth I respect you a lot, but I can’t marry you. Kyonki mujhe nahi lagta ki mai ek patni ka farz nibha paaungi. Meri aatma tak andhera bhara hai. please meri baat samajhne ki koshish karo. Hum ache dost ban kar rah sakte hai”
“Ritu kab tak yahi baate karti rahogi. Maine kaha to tha ki wait karte hai. jab tumhaara man hoga tabhi shaadi karenge. Ab kya ho gaya. Mai shaadi tumhi se karunga, chaahe tum kuch kar lo” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Phir mujhe dukh hai sidharth hum dost bhi nahi rah paayenge. Mujh par ye fainsala mat thopo. Mai tum se hi nahi balki kishi se bhi shaadi nahi karna chaahti. Mai bas apne bete ke liye jee rahi hun, varna main kab ki mar chuki hoti. Ab tum jao, hum baad mein baat karenge. Tum meri haalat nahi samajh sakte” —- maine kaha
“ok… ok ritu theek hai, mai ab dubaara shaadi ki baat nahi karunga. theek hai hum dost ban kar rahte hai. ab khus” —- sidharth ne mushkuraate huve kaha.
“sidharth baat khusi ki nahi hai, mai nahi samajhti ki mujhe shaadi karni chaahiye. ye mera decision hai. aur mujhe ummeed hai ki tum mere decision ki izzat karoge” —- maine kaha.
“Theek hai ritu jaisa tum chaaho. Mai tumhe pyar karta tha aur karta rahunga”
“kya tumhe vaakayi mein ab tak koyi ladki pasand nahi aayi” — maine pucha.
“Nahi.. kaha na tumhaare jaisi koyi mili hi nahi” — sidharth ne kaha.
“To ab kishi ko dhund lo, kaho to mai kishi ko talaash karun” — maine pucha
“nahi nahi… ye kaam mein khud kar lunga. Mein ye bardaast nahi kar paaunga ki jishe mein pyar karta hun, vo mere liye ladki dhunde” sidharth ne kaha.
Ye kah kar vo chala gaya.
Mere man mein sidharth ke liye agar jara sa bhi pyar ka ahsaash hota to mein kuch sochti bhi. Ishliye maine sidharth ko saaf saaf kahna sahi samjha. Lagta hai vo ab meri baat samajh gaya hai.
………..
Date : 12-02-09
11:30 pm
Aaj maine sidharth jaise ache dost ko kho diya. aaj ushne mere saath vo kiya jo mai sapne mein bhi nahi soch sakti thi.
lagbhag shaam ke 8 baje mere ghar ki bell baji. Maine darvaaja khola to dekha ki sidharth hai. ushe dekhte hi mai samajh gayi ki vo sharaab pee kar aaya hai.
“Ritu darling ander aa jaaun” —- sidharth ne bahki huyi awaaj mein kaha
mujhe nahi pata tha ki sidharth drink karta hai.
“sidharth ye kya haal bana rakha hai, tum ghar jao, baad mein baat karenge” —- maine kaha.
Vo mujhe peeche hata kar ander ghuss gaya aur bola “baad mein nahi… abhi baat karenge”
“Sidharth tum abhi hosh mein nahi ho, please abhi jao, mujhe vaise bhi office ka kuch kaam karna hai” — maine kaha.
“Ritu darling kaam to hota rahega, aaj mai tumse kuch lene aaya hun” —— sidharth ne kaha.
“Kya baat hai sidharth ? tum bahki bahki baate kar rahe ho” —– maine pucha.
“Mujhe bhi tumhaari chut chaahiye ritu, duniya ne ley li, meri baari kab aayegi” —— sidharth ne bahaki huyi awaaj mein kaha
“sidharth ye kya bakwaas kar rahe ho, foran yaha se chale jao, tum abhi hosh mein nahi ho” —– maine jor se gusse mein kaha.
“Dekho to sahi ritu, my cock is also big like billu you will enjoy it” —- sidharth ne apni zip kholte huve kaha.
Maine foran apni aankhe band kar li. mujhe bilkul vishwaas nahi ho raha tha ki sidharth aisa kar raha hai.
Mai darvaaje ke paas aa gayi aur boli “sidharth jaldi yaha se chale jao, mujhe abhi tumse koyi baat nahi karni”
Sidharth ne aage badh kar darvaaje ki kundi laga li aur mujhe apne haatho mein utha liya.
“Ye kya kar rahe ho sidharth, chhodo mujhe…tumhe kya ho gaya hai” —- maine jor se kaha.
“Mai tumse shaadi karna chaah raha tha aur tumne saaf mana kar diya. arey vo to mai hun jo tumhe aankh meech kar apna raha tha, varna aaj ke din tum par koyi kutta bhi nahi thukega,…..bitch kahin ki” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Oh no….. sidharth please ye sab kya kah rahe ho… please mujhe chhod do. Hum ish baare mein baad mein baat karenge” —– maine gidgidaate huve kaha.
“First I will fuck you hard… you bitch, mere pyar ka majaak udaati ho. Kya hai ush billu mein. Ush din bade pyar se chaaro aur ushe dhund rahi thi. aur shaam ko share aam ushke gale lag kar khadi thi. mere paas ushke jitna bada hai, ley kar dekh, tu ushe bhool jaayegi” —- sidharth ne kaha.
Mai ushke haatho mein chatpata rahi thi.
Vo mujhe bedroom mein ley aaya aur mujhe bed par patak diya.
“Sidharth ye kya ho gaya hai tumhe, please…..hum baad mein araam se baat karenge” —- maine kaha.
“First we will fuck, than we will discuss… ok….., now remove your clothes and spread your legs, I want to fuck you” —– sidharth ne kaha.
Meri majboori ye thi ki mai sidharth par haath nahi uthaana chaahti thi. par jab ushne apni pant neeche sarka di to maine uth kar ek jor daar thappad ushke muh par jad diya.
Par ush par ek thappad ka koyi asar nahi huva.
“You whore,…… mujh par haath uthaati ho, pyar karta tha mai tumse par tumne mujhe kya diya. na pehle shaadi ke liye haan ki aur na ab shaadi key liye maan rahi ho. Ab mai bina shaadi ke hi honeymoon mana kar rahunga. Jab billu kar sakta hai to main kyon nahi” —– sidharth ne kaha.
Bahut hi painfull tha vo vakt mere liye. mujhe phir se jalil hona pad raha tha.
“Ritu dekho araam se cooperate karo. Tum jab billu ke saath itna kuch kar sakti ho to mere saath tumhe kya problem hai, just see my cock and decide” —- sidharth ne apne ling ko haath mein pakad kar kaha.
Maine apni aankhe band kar li. Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha ki sidharth ko kaise samjhaaun. Vo nashe mein anaap sanaap bake ja raha tha.
“Let me see your pussy now, I want to see why that boy is crazy for you” — sidharth ne kaha.
“Sidharth bas bahut ho gaya, ab chup ho jao aur yaha se chale jao”
sidharth bed par chad gaya aur mujhe jabardasti leta kar mere upar late gaya.
“Bahut nahi huva abhi darling, abhi to saari raat tumhaari chut maarni hai. aaj meri suhaagraat hai. itni jaldi thodi khatam hogi ye raat” — sidharth ne kaha.
Ab paani sar ke upar nikal gaya tha.
Mere bed ke paas meri iron padi thi. maine ushe uthaaya aur sidharth ke sar par de maari. Mujhe bada dukh huve ushe maarte huve par mujhe ye karna pada.
Ushke sar se khun bahne laga aur vo ladkhada kar bed ke paas gir gaya. Mai apne bed par baith gayi aur apni kishmat ko rone lagi. ek paap ki saja mujhe baar baar mil rahi thi. pehle sanjay se mili. Fir vivek se. aur ab sidharth se. upar se vo billu abhi bhi mere peeche pada hai. mai koyi inshaan na ho kar bas ek sharir rah gayi hun.
Mai chupchaap bed par baithi rahi aur meri aankhe rah rah kar chalakti rahi. koyi ek ghante baad sidharth utha aur bola, “ritu….. ohh mai ye kya kar baitha, please mujhe maaf kar do, mai nashe mein tha”
“Sidharth yaha se abhi ke abhi chale jao, mai tumse koyi baat nahi karna chaahti. Tum mein aur vivek mein kya anter rah gaya. Mai tumhaari izzat karti thi. ishliye kishi bhi vakt tumhe ghar aane deti thi. par tum bhi auro ki tarah bas mere sharir ke pyase nikle. Chale jao sidharth…… ab sab kuch khatam ho chuka hai” —– maine sidharth ki aur dekh kar kaha.
“Ohh god mai ye kya kar baitha. Ritu please forgive me. dar-asal mai bardaast nahi kar paaya ki tumne mujhe shaadi ke liye mana kar diya. please forgive me. sab kuch nashe ke kaaran huva hai. hosh mein mai kabhi aisa nahi karta” —- sidharth ne kaha.
“Jo bhi hai sidharth…. par tum ander hi ander mere baare mein kya sochte ho vo aaj baahar aa gaya. Abhi tum jao aur aaj ke baad yaha mat aana. I hate you” —- maine gusse mein kaha.
Sidharth chala gaya aur mai darvaaja band karke apne bed par gir gayi.
Saare fasaad ki jad ye billu hi hai. na vo meri jeendagi mein aata aur na mujhe baar baar jaleel hona padta.

 

[The Immortal]

Date : 13-02-09
aaj bahut bura lag raha hai. jab mai shaam ko office se aayi to mujhe apne darvaaje ke neeche phir se manhush billu ki ek chit mili. Ye chit wala ushne acha tareeka dhund liya hai ??
chit mein leekha hai :——
“meri pyari ritu,
aaj se mumbai mein kaam karna shuru kar diya hai. kaam chota hai par jaldi hi kuch bada bhi karunga. abhi bas ek taxi driver ban paaya hun. mere paas sirf b.com ki degree hai. samajh nahi aata ushka main kya karun. Ishliye ish chote se kaam se shuru kar raha hun. vaise kaam koyi chota nahi hota.bas inshaan ki lagan honi chaahiye. par tum ye mat sochna ki mai kuch aur nahi karunga. mai tumhaare pyar ke liye sab kuch karunga. jab se tumne ush din gate way of India par mujhe gale lagaaya hai. mai tumhaara aur jyada deewana ho gaya hun. mai tumhaare liye kuch bhi karne ko taiyaar hun. Mai tumse shaadi karna chaahta hun ritu. Meri umar tumse choti sahi par mai tumse jyada mature hun. jeendagi ne badi jaldi bahut kuch seekha diya hai. mujhe pura yakin hai ki main ek pati ka farz nibha paaunga. Mujhe bas ek moka do ritu mai ek acha pati ban kar dheekhunga. Jo maine tumhaare saath kiya ushki koyi bhi saja mujhe de do. Chaho to abhi goli maar do. Par agar tumhe mere prati jara bhi pyar mahsush ho to meri baat par dhyaan dena. Mai tumhaare liye kuch bhi karunga. bas mujhe ek moka do. Mujhe apna lo ritu. Mera ab tumhaare shiva koyi nahi hai. tum hi meri jeene ki ummeed ho. aaj se taxi chalaani shuru kar di hai. jaldi hi main kuch aur bhi karunga. taxi sirf yaha thoda paanv jamaane ke liye shuru ki hai. mujhe ummeed hai tum meri baat samjhogi”
pata nahi kya matlab hai ish bakwaas ka. Vo aisa soch bhi kaise sakta hai ki mai ush se shaadi karungi. Ya to vo apni aukaat bhool gaya hai ya fir jyada oversmart ban-ne ki koshish kar raha hai.
Date : 14-02-09
Aaj jab main office se nikli to jhat se billu ne apni taxi mere aage laakar khadi kar di aur bola, “ritu please baith jao, mai tumhe ghar chhod dunga ishi bahaane kuch baat bhi kar lenge”
Yaha se dafa ho jao billu, ish ghatiya taxi mein jaane ka mera koyi iraada nahi hai.
Mujhe achi tarah yaad tha ki kaise ek baar ushke riksa mein baithna mujhe bhaari pada tha.
Tabhi meri company ki car aa gayi aur main ush mein baith kar ghar aa gayi.
……….
Raat ke 11 baje hai. maine thodi der pehle baahar jhaank kar dekha to paaya ki ek taxi mere flat ke bilkul saamne khadi hai. achaanak taxi ka gate khula aur billu baahar aa gaya. Maine foran khidki band kar di.
Ab ushke paas taxi hai. vo din raat yaha sadak par maje se taxi laga kar ushmein pada rah sakta hai. samajh nahi aata ki ish billu ka kya karun.
………………….
Date : 15-02-09
Aaj subah mandir gayi. phir vahi naatak huva. Billu jaate vakt to mujhe nahi deekha par jab mai vaapas aa rahi thi to mujhe mandir ke baahar mil gaya.
“Ritu thodi der rukogi…. kuch baat karni hai” — billu ne kaha.
Maine gusse mein ushke gaal par apni pancho ungliya chaap di. Ushka chehra laal ho gaya.
Vo hairaan rah kar meri aur dekhta rah gaya. Maine ek aur haath ghumaaya aur ish baar ushke dusre gaal par thappad rasid kar diya.
“Ab bolo kya baat karni hai, ye tumhaare ush letter ka jawaab hai jo tumne kuch din pehle mere ghar choda tha. agar tum sochte ho ki tum mujhe fir se fansa sakte ho to galat ho. Pyar ki baat karte ho tum. Tum hi the na jo badle ki aag mein mujhe barbaad kar rahe the. Vo bhi tum hi the na jo mujhe ashok ke paas ley gaye the. Ab meri baat dhyaan se shuno. Mujhe tumse nafrat hai. itni nafrat hai ki mai tumhaari shakal tak nahi dekhna chaahti. Yaha se foran dafa ho jao varna police ko bula lungi….ok” —– maine gusse mein jor se kaha
“Ritu acha kiya tumne thappad maar diya. ek aur maar do. Apni galti ke liye mai bhi sharminda hun. maine tumhe ush din clinic mein kaha bhi tha ki main badle ki aag mein andha to ho gaya tha par mujhe kuch nahi mila. mai tumhaara gunahgaar hun aur rahunga. Par aaj main tumhe pyar karta hun ritu. Bahut pyar karta hun. jaisa ki maine pehle bhi kaha hai, ye ahsaash mujhe bahut pehle ho gaya tha jab maine ush cycle wale ko maara tha. aaj main bas apni aankho mein pyar ley kar khada hun. mujhe khud bhi nahi pata ki aisa kyon hai. mai bas tumhe pyar karta hun” —– billu ne kaha
Tabhi vaha kuch log aa gaye aur bole madam koyi takleef hai kya.
Mai bahut gusse mein thi aur maine un logo se kah diya ki ye ladka mujhe ched raha hai. vaise ye sach hi tha. vo jabardasti hi to mere peeche pada tha.
Logo ne ushe maarna shuru kar diya. mai chupchaap aage badh gayi aur ghar aa gayi.
Acha sabak mila hai billu ko aaj. Ab ushki akal jaroor theekane aa jaayegi.
……..
raat ke 11:30 baje hai aur maine abhi abhi baahar jhaank kar dekha. Sakun mila ki billu baahar nahi hai. aaj jaroor vo samajh gaya hoga ki ab ushki mere liye kya aukaat hai.
Date : 16-02-09
Aaj phir ye kamina billu mere ghar mein ek chit chod gaya, leekha hai,
“ meri pyari ritu
mai apne paapo ki saja bhugatne ke liye taiyaar hun. acha kiya tumne mujhe thappad maara aur phir logo se bhi pitva diya. kal sara din sharir dhukta raha. taxi bhi nahi chala paaya. Haan par mujhe tumse koyi shikva ya shikaayat nahi hai. jo paap maine kiye hai, ushki ye bahut choti si saja hai. jo tumhaare saath kiya vo bahut galat tha. ** meri didi ka huva tha. ushmein tumhaara koyi dosh nahi tha. par pata nahi kyon meri akal par pathar pad gaye the jo tumhaare jaisi achi inshaan ko jhansa de kar fansa liya. tabhi sochta hun ki main tumhaare laayak nahi hun. par phir bhi apne pyar se majboor ho kar ek koshish kar raha hun tumhaare laayak ban-ne ki. maine clinic mein kaha tha ki tumhe aaj bhi seduce kar sakta hun. lekin ab tumhaare tevar dekh kar lagta hai ki vo naamumkin hai. acha hi hai. aaj baat vaise bhi pyar ki hai. mai to tumhaare haato se marne ko bhi taiyaar hun. jish din mujh se bahut pareshaan ho jao to bata dena mai khud sar jhuka kar tumhaare aage khada ho jaaunga, jo karna ho kar lena. Main ab bas tumhaara hun. tumhaare liye hi jee raha hun. meri jeendagi ab bas tumhaare haath mein hai. tumse baat ishliye karne ki koshish karta hun kyonki mere paas aur koyi chaara nahi hai. mai har vakt tumse baat karne ke liye tarasta rahta hun. mai har vakt tumhe sochta rahta hun. aur haan tumhe sochne ka matlab ye nahi hai ki mai tumhaare sharir ko soch raha hun. balki mai to tumhaare sharir ke ander chupi tumhaari aatma ko sochta hun. tum bahut shunder ho ish mein koyi shak nahi hai. par maine pehle bhi kaha hai tumhaare sharir se jyada shunder tumhaara man hai. I love you as a person. Not your body. This love has moved beyond your body. Mai aaj tumse sex nahi balki pyar chaahta hun ritu. Ho sake to kabhi araam se baith kar meri baat par dhyaan dena. Aur haan aaj se main tumhe kahin milne nahi aaunga. Mera tumhe chedne ka koyi iraada nahi hai. pyar karta hun. agar mera pyar sacha huva to tum khud ek din mere paas aaogi. Tab tak mai tumhaare saamne bhi nahi aaunga. Haan kabhi kabhi tumse kuch kahna huva to ek letter tumhaare ghar chhod dunga. Please itna mujhe karne dena. Aur mera letter jaroor padhna. Bahut pyar se leekhta hun…… bye……billu”
baate banaani billu ko khub aati hain. koyi bhi ish letter ko padh kar emotional ho jaayega par maine ishe faad kar fenk diya. aisi bahut saari baate mein ush se pehle bhi shun chuki hun. ab vo mujhe hargeez bevkoof nahi bana sakta.

 

[The Immortal]

Date : 22-02-09
11:30 am
Aaj sunday hai, abhi thodi der pehle papa ka phone aaya tha. puch rahe the ki maine sidharth ko shaadi ke liye kyon mana kar diya. shaayad shidharth ne phir se papa se baat ki hogi. aaj majboori mein mujhe papa ko bataana hi pada ki mai sidharth se shaadi nahi kar sakti. maine unhe samjha diya hai ki mai jeendagi ka safar akele taiy karna chaahti hun.
Maine 12 tareek wali baat papa ko bataana theek nahi samjha. Vaise bhi unhe shun kar dukh hi hota.
5:00 pm
abhi thodi der pehle mujhe apne darvaaje ke baahar aahat shunaayi di. Maine turant darvaaje ke paas ja kar dekha to paya ki ek kaagaz ki chit ander sarak rahi hai. main samajh gayi ki ye billu hi hai.
maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushe ushki chit faad kar vaapas de di aur boli, “billu ye naatak band karo. Mere sabar ki bhi koyi sheema hai. main tumhe fir kah rahi hun ki ye sab band karo, varna mai tumhaare khilaaf police complaint karungi. Aaj ke baad main yaha koyi chit nahi dekhna chaahti. Agar tumne dubaara aisa kiya to acha nahi hoga. Ab yaha se dafa ho jao”
Vaise kuch ajeeb kiya aaj billu ne. vo aaj bina kuch kahe chupchaap chala gaya. Ushke chehre par aise bhaav the jaise sach mein mujhe bahut pyar karta hai aur apne letter ke tukde dekh kar dukhi hai. Khair mujhe kya lena dena, vo bhaad mein jaaye. I just hate him.
8:00 pm
abhi abhi dipti se baat karke hati hun. jo mujhe shak tha vo yakin mein badalta ja raha hai.
maine dipti ko kavita ke ** wali kahaani bata di. Shun kar vo boli, “tum har baat der se hi bataati ho. Lagta hai tumhaara ish case mein koyi interest nahi hai. khair manish ne to aisa kuch nahi bataaya. Balki vo to kavita ke baare mein kuch ulta hi kah raha tha”
maine pucha, “kya kah raha tha” ?
dipti boli “kah raha tha ki ushne kishi sunita naam ki nurse se baat ki thi. vo kaafi samay se sanjay ke clinic mein hai. tum bhi shaayad ushe jaanti hogi. vo to yahi kah rahi thi ki kavita ka charitra theek nahi tha. ushne yaha tak bataaya hai ki vo ek call girl thi aur ek bade giroh ka hissa thi. billu bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil tha. kavita ki harkato ki vajah se hi sanjay ne ushe clinic se nikaal diya tha. pata nahi sach hai ya nahi. manish ko bhi ish baat par vishvaas to nahi hai. par vo kah raha tha ki sunita bahut vishwaas se ye baat kah rahi thi. khair manish to ish kaam par laga hi huva hai. dekhte hai ki sach kya hai. haan par kuch din key liye ushe ye kaam chhod kar kishi dushre case ke shilshiley mein kolkata jaana pad raha hai.”
maine kaha, “ye sach hi hoga dipti, ye billu bahut dhokebaaz aur makkaar hai. ushki bahan bhi ushke jaisi hi hogi. mujhe sunita ki baat par vishwaas hai, vo bhala jhut kyon bolegi”
mujhe yakin hai ki billu ne mujhe fir se jhansa dene ke liye ye kavita ke ** ki kahaani izaad ki hai. taaki vo apne saare kaarnaame ki safaayi de sake. Ushne jo mere saath kiya ushki koyi safaayi nahi di ja sakti. par vo ish had tak gir jaayega ki apni sister ke ** ki kahaani banaayega maine socha bhi nahi tha. vaise vo hai bhi ek number ka kamina, kuch bhi kar sakta hai.
……………..
Date : 01-03-09
dheere dheere main kaamyaab ho rahi hun. billu ab mere peeche nahi aata hai. main aaj subah mandir gayi thi to vo manhush mujhe kahin nahi deekha. mere flat mein ushne chit daalni bhi band kar di hai. haan par kabhi kabhi vo mere flat ke saamne apni taxi ley kar jaroor khada hota hai. soch rahi hun ki ushe jaa kar sabhi kuch bata dun ki mujhe ushki sister ke baare mein sab kuch pata chal gaya hai. par ushki shakal dekhne ka mera bilkul man nahi hai.
…………
Date : 8-03-09
11:30 pm
Aaj achaanak ek bahut bada surprise mila
aaj Sunday tha aur mai ghar par hi thi. subah subah maine har Sunday ki tarah mandir jaane ka fainsala kiya. Mujhe mandir ja kar ek sakun sa milne laga hai, aisa sakun jishe sabdo mein kahna mushkil hai.
Jab mein mandir se baahar aayi to mujhe saamne se billu aata deekhaayi diya. mujhe dekh kar vo aise chonk gaya jaise ki mai achaanak ushe deekh gayi hun. maine man hi man mein kaha kamina kahin ka. Mujhe pura yakin tha ki vo jaroor mera peecha kar raha hoga.
Mujhe dekh kar vo ruk gaya.
Jab mai ushke paas se gujari to vo bola, “ritu thodi der rukogi, bahut jaroori baat karni hai”
“Ab kaun si kahaani banaaoge billu, mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai kavita ke baare mein, tumne mujhe ushke ** ki jhuti kahaani shunaayi hai, hai na, tumse jyada gira huva inshaan maine aaj tak nahi dekha. Vaise jaise tum ho vaisi hi tumhaari bahan hai. mai soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki vo ek call girl hogi. aur tum bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil the. Aur tumne mujhe bhi ek bajaaru aurat bana kar chhod diya. ab har kishi ki mere saath ** karne ki himmat ho rahi hai. sab kuch tumhaare kaaran hai. tum ish duniya par bojh ho. Mera bas chale to abhi tumhe goli maar dun. Tum ush din bach gaye. Jara si bhi sharam baaki ho to yaha se chale jao, varna mai ab kuch bhi kar sakti hun” —- maine gusse mein kaha
maine jo dekha ush par mujhe yakin nahi huva. Billu ne kuch nahi kaha aur apni aankhe band kar li. Maine ushki aankho se aanshu tapakte dekhe. Vo bina meri aur dekhe mandir mein chala gaya.
Ek pal ko mujhe laga ki maine kuch jyada hi bol diya. par phir ye bhi laga ki sach bolne mein kya dikkat hai. agar mai galat kah rahi thi to vo khud mujhe jawaab deta. Par ushne kuch nahi kaha. Ishka matlab vo jaanta tha ki mai theek kah rahi hun.
Khair mai seedhi ghar aa gayi.
Ghar aate hi sidharth ka phone aaya.
“Ritu mai tumse milna chaahta hun. ush din ki harkat ke liye sharminda hun, please forgive me mai nashe mein bahak gaya tha. mujhe maaf kar do” —– sidharth ne kaha.
“Mai ish baare mein koyi baat nahi karna chaahti sidharth aur abhi vaise bhi mera mood bahut khraab hai, baad mein baat karenge, aur haan yaha dubaara aane ki himmat mat karna. bahut ho gaya meri jeendagi se majaak. Ab main kuch bardaast nahi karungi… bye” —– maine gusse mein kaha.
…………….
Aur phir mujhe ek surprise mila.
shaam ke koyi 6 baje mere ghar ki bell baji. Mai chonk gayi ki ab kaun aa gaya. Sidharth ko to maine aane ke liye mana kiya hai, fir ye kaun ho sakta hai.
Maine darvaaja khola aur baahar dekhte hi meri aankhe khuli ki khuli rah gayi.
Mere saamne sanjay khada tha. vahi sanjay jishne ek baar bhi mera phone tak nahi uthaaya tha.
“Dekh kya rahi ho, kya ander nahi bulaaogi, kabhi tumhaara pati tha main, kya itni jaldi bhool gayi” — sanjay ne kaha.
“nahi sanjay aisa nahi hai, main bas tumhe yaha dekh kar hairaan hun” —- maine kaha.
“Hona bhi chaahiye, mai tumse milne kabhi nahi aata par pata nahi kyon mere kadam khud-b-khud ish aur kheenche chale aaye” sanjay ne kaha.
Ye kah kar sanjay ander aa gaya aur pure ghar ko dekhne laga or bola, “acha bada ghar hai, kaafi tarakki kar li hai tumne. Tum jaroor khus hogi ye sab paa kar, hai na. Par tumne mujhe barbaad kar diya”
“Sanjay please ab phir se vahi baate mat karo, main khud bahut pareshaan hun. ruko mai kuch peene ko laati hun” —- maine kaha aur kah kar kitchen mein cold drink lene chali gayi.
“mujhe pata chala hai ki vo billu yahi hai, kya abhi bhi tum ushke saath aiyaashi kar rahi ho” —- sanjay ne pucha.
“Sanjay please aisa mat kaho, mai apni galti ki saja bhugat chuki hun. ab baar baar mujhe jaleel mat karo” — maine kaha.
“Main ush haraami ko jeenda nahi chhodunga” — sanjay ne gusse mein kaha.
“Sanjay agar bura na mano to ek baat punchu” —- maine kaha.
“Vaise tumhe kuch puchne ka adhikaar nahi hai, par phir bhi pucho kya puchna hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Maine pucha, “ kavita kaha hai sanjay”
“Dekho ushe maine nikaal diya tha. badi bachallan ladki thi vo. She was part of prostitution racket” — sanjay ne kaha
“par tumne ek baar kaha tha ki vo kaam chhod kar chali gayi” —– maine pucha.
“Haan to… itni gandi baat tumhe kaise bataata. Aaj baat dushri hai, tum khud itna gir chuki ho, tumhe ye ganda sach bataaya ja sakta hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki sanjay ko kya jawaab dun. Vaise vo sach hi kah raha tha. dukh bas ish baat ka tha ki ek paap ki saja mujhe baar baar di ja rahi thi.
“Ritu mera ek kaam karo” — sanjay ne kaha
“kya bataao sanjay, mujhe khusi hogi tumhaare liye kuch bhi karne mein” —- maine kaha.
“Kya tumhe pata hai vo billu kaha milega” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay chhodo ushe, ab ush se tumhe kya lena dena. Mai bhi ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe nahi pata vo kaha rahta hai” —– maine kaha
“ritu tumhe sab pata hai, mujhe bataana nahi chaahti.vo tumhaara pakka yaar hai….hai na” — sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay aisi baat nahi hai please,….. maine apni galti khud swikaar ki thi aur main ab ush se bilkul koyi bhi baat nahi karti hun. haan vo kabhi kabhi mere ghar ke saamne apni taxi ley Kar khada hota hai. par mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai.” —- maine kaha.
“Abhi hai kya vo baahar dekho to” —— sanjay ne pucha.
Badi ajeeb baat thi. jaise hi maine khidki khol kar dekha mujhe billu ki taxi deekhayi di. Vo taxi mein baitha tha. maine dekha ki vo kuch leekh raha tha. mujhe yakin tha ki aaj subah ki jhaad ke baad vo yaha nahi aayega par vo phir se taxi ley kar mere ghar ke baahar khada tha.
Maine dekha ki vo gate khol kar baahar aa gaya.
Maine sanjay se kaha, “haan ushki taxi khadi hai”
Maine phir se jhaank kar dekha to paaya ki vo apne haath mein kaagaz ka ek tukda ley kar mere flat ki taraf aa raha hai.
“kya kar raha hai vo” —- sanjay ne pucha
“Sanjay vo yahi ghar ki taraf aa raha hai” —– maine kaha.
“Dekha mai kahta tha na vo tera pakka yaar hai, abhi bhi tumhaara chakkar chal raha hai, mujhe jhut bol rahi thi ki mai ush se baat nahi karti” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay ye sach hai ki main ush se baat nahi karti. Vahi mere peeche pada hai. aksar mere ghar mein ek chit daal jaata hai. abhi bhi vahi daalne aa raha hai shaayad. Mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai” —- maine kaha
“aane do ushe aaj mai ushki yahi laash beecha dunga, tum aisa karo ushe ander bula lo” sanjay ne kaha
ye kah kar jaane kaha se sanjay ne ek bandook nikaal li
“Kya ?? ye kya kah rahe ho, nahi mujh se ye nahi hoga. Ushe yaha kyon bulaana chaahte ho” —— maine pucha.
“Ush se kuch puraana hisaab chukta karna hai ritu, tumhe nahi lagta ki jishne hamaare ghar ko barbaad kiya ushe saja milni chaahiye” —- sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay in sab baato se kya haansil hoga mai ab ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe ush se sakht nafrat hai. mai ushe yaha nahi bula sakti” —- maine kaha.
“Tumhe bulaana padega ritu. Agar tum vaakayi mein
Ush se nafrat karti ho to ushe yaha bulaao mai ushe tumhaari aankho ke aage maarunga. Aur tum kishi baat ki chinta mat karo. Tumhaare upar koyi baat nahi aayegi. Ushki laash main theekane laga dunga… ab ushe bulaao….meri khaatir bulaao”
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun.
Maine pucha, “sanjay kya ye sab karna jaroori hai”
“Haan jaroori hai, agar vo bach gaya to umar bhar pareshaan karega. Mai kitchen mein chup raha hun. ushe ander bula lena. Phir mai sambhaal lunga…ok”
sanjay kitchen mein chala gaya. Ushke jaate hi mujhe apne door ke neeche se ek chit sarakti huyi deekhaayi di.
Maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushki aur dekha.
Ek pal ko vakt jaise tahar gaya
Maine ushki aur dekha aur hamaari aankhe ek pal ko takraayi. Ushke chehre par ek dard bhari halki si mushkaan ubhar aayi. Phir maine dhyaan se dekha to paya ki ushki aankhe nam thi. Mai ushe aisi haalat mein dekh kar kuch nahi kah paayi.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Kya mai ushe marne ke liye ander bula lun. Ushne mere liye cycle wale ko maara tha. ushne ush din jangal mein time par aa kar mera ** hone se bhi bachaaya tha.
Man mein yahi vichaar aaya ki billu ko yaha se jaane do ritu. Ye khun kharaba theek nahi hai. mujhe vaise bhi ab billu se kya matlab.
Billu ki aankho ke aanshu mujh par kuch ajeeb sa asar kar rahe the. Pata nahi vo kyon ro raha tha.
Vo mud kar bina kuch kahe chala gaya aur maine darvaaja band kar liya.
Tabhi sanjay kitchen se baahar aa gaya.
Sanjay ne mere gaal par ek jor se thappad rasid kar diya. thappad itni jor ka tha ki mai ladkhada kar gir gayi
“Ye kya kiya haraamzaadi , tune ushe ander kyon nahi bulaaya, dikha diya na tune apna rang. Kya lagta hai vo tera jo tu hamesha mujhe dhoka deti hai. Aaj ushka kaam tamaam, karne ka acha moka tha” —- sanjay ne cheella kar kaha.
“Sanjay mujhe ush se koyi matlab nahi hai, mai ushe yaha nahi ghussne dena chaahti thi” —- maine kaha
sanjay ne mere gaal par ek aur thappad maara aur kaha, “jhut bolti hai saali. marna to ushe hai hi, yaha nahi to kahin aur marega”
ye kah kar sanjay darvaaja khol kar baahar chala gaya.
Kuch der tak mai yu hi padi rahi.
Koyi 15 minut baad maine baahar dekha to paya ki billu ki taxi abhi bhi baahar sadak par khadi thi. par billu kahin nahi deekh raha tha.
Maine dekha ki billu ki chit abhi bhi darvaaje ke paas padi thi. maine ushe faadne key liye haath mein utha liya. par tabhi meri aankho ke saamne billu ki vo dard bhari mushkaan aa gayi. main chaah kar bhi vo letter faad nahi paayi. maine letter bina padhe apni diary mein rakh diya.