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Romance TANHAI KE SAHARE

fnd, this is my 1st story to bataiye mujhe kya imrovement karni he .and plz rate my writing


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Rbcl.007

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Bhai
Hi dear,

As you are aware, we are organizing our first Ultimate Story Contest. We will be pleased to see your story at the contest, it's a platform for everyone to express their thoughts.

You can check the details about the contest and post your stories here: ★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Entry Thread ★☆★

In case you need any help or you have any queries, feel free to pm me or any Staff Member.


:thanks:
As your Friend,
PARADOX
Bhai ye story ke rules Maine likha hua ke under 18 character allow nahini honge.. But normal story with school seen agar likhun to acceptable honge kya... Like flashback scene Maine kuch school ke seen honge aur age mention na karke likha jaye.. Toh ek story plot he dimag Maine but school life based major part hai usmaine... To plz a rule ke bare Maine thoda clear kar dete...
 
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Assassin

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Bhai

Bhai ye story ke rules Maine likha hua ke under 18 character allow nahini honge.. But normal story with school seen agar likhun to acceptable honge kya... Like flashback scene Maine kuch school ke seen honge aur age mention na karke likha jaye.. Toh ek story plot he dimag Maine but school life based major part hai usmaine... To plz a rule ke bare Maine thoda clear kar dete...
Usne USC contest ka invitation diya he RB, warning nahi.
 
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Rbcl.007

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Usne USC contest ka invitation diya he RB, warning nahi.
Bhai ek new story likh raha hun contest ke liye uske bare Maine info chahiye tha ki character agar apni flash back narrate kar raha ho bachpan ka age wagera kucha mention kiye to kiya approve hoga ya nahini.. Uss seen Maine koi dialogue bhi nahini honge only story narrte bachpan aur school ka...
 
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Assassin

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Bhai ek new story likh raha hun contest ke liye uske bare Maine info chahiye tha ki character agar apni flash back narrate kar raha ho bachpan ka age wagera kucha mention kiye to kiya approve hoga ya nahini.. Uss seen Maine koi dialogue bhi nahini honge only story narrte bachpan aur school ka...
Passing age ke liye reference thik he, ya fir age ki jagah school ki grades(standard) bhi likh sakte ho :dazed:
For more information, feel free to contact me or any contest organizer mod
 

Rbcl.007

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Update 6
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Wanhi doosri aur swati ke pita ko jab apni beti ki khabar 1 hafte se nahini milti he toh wo pura sehar chan maarte haine .pehle bhi swtai aise hi chali jaati thi kanhi bhi doston ke sath toh isi lye unhone pehle toh dhyan nahini diya par jab uske doston se bi pooch liya toh ab pure seharmaine dhoondna chalu hogaya …


Wanhi doosre room maine RB aake bed pe beth jaata he . shayad aaj wo swati ko himmat rakhne ki baat kar raha tha par apne kismat pe ro raha tha ,jis ladki ki shakal jindegi maine kabhi na dekhne ki kasam khai thi aaj us ladki ke liye uske aankonmaine aansoo he jo ki band hone ki naam bhi nahini le rahe haine .isi baat ko sochte sochte wo apne jindegi ki gehrai maine kho jaata he ..



PHASE -2
(yanha se perspective change ho rahi hai .story wapas se isi point se resume hogi flash back end hon e pe )


Class 10th maine ache number ke sath school topper RB ke man maine dhero khwaishein thi ki padh likh kar jaroor kuch banega .kyun ki middle class family hone se uska ek hi motivation or goal tha kisi ache se job paake apne family ki jaroorat ko pura karna aur uske liye ek achi college se padhai karna jaroori tha .Ab ache number aagye the to college admission maine koi dikkat to nahini thi easily ho jana tha bas problem ye thi ki aas pass ke city ke bhi bohat bachhe aaate the admission karne isi college maien toh pasandida subject milne maine shayad dikkat ho sakta he . Aaj se application dubmit hone suru hone wale the . Subha ko RB brekfast kar hi raha tha ki tabhi uska dost Vikram (vicky) aajata he .


Vicky - chal be jaldi ready ho jaa ,kitna thhus rah he be ?

RB - han mujhe gyan deke jo tu abhi mere plate aloo paratha utha liya usse kya kahenge !

Vicky –aare maine to teri madat kar rah tha khanna jaldi khatam karne maine >>>

RB – han han dikh raha he madad teri isi karya ko hi vedon purano maine ashurprabruti kaha gaya he .

Vicky –chal be subha subha gyan mat chod thik he

RB – bhai ghar pe he ham gali mat de barna dono ki lag jayegi .

Vicky – han toh phir jaldi nigal ke uth chalte haine

RB- bhai bas do min ruk jaa bas lassi pi lon chalte haine

Vicky lassi ke glass ko uthanke ek hi sansh maine gatak gya aur bola le khatam hogaya ab chal . RB usse man hi man gaali de deke utha aur mummy ko bolke nikal gaya café ke taraf apply karne . admission format tha pehele student sabko online apply karn hota he then uss form ko undertaking ke sath aur sare doccument ke sath leke college maine submit karna hota he . Dono cyber café ponhach gaye aur 1 gahnte ke liye 30 rs de diya (sala kya loot te the be uss time cyber café wale kasam se ab bhi rona aata he soch ke .aur ham bhi sirf faltu ke video dekhne ke chakar maine paise phuk aate the ). Dono ne apply karna chalu ho gaya aur lagbhag 30 min maine dono ka apply ho gaya .

Vicky- bhai ye toh ho gaya dono ki sara doccuments set .

RB- han to chal chalte haine yaar .

Vicky- aabe itnijaldi jaake kya gate kholega beth abhi . 1ghante ka paisa diya he pura use kar be .

RB- aare yaar….

Vicky – tu beth na yaar .cahal FB accounta banate haine tera

RB –mujhe nahini banana bhai .

Vickey tu beth be chup chap .

Phir wo log wanha RB ka FB account banate hain .aur phir college ke liye nikal jaate haine .Form jama karne wali line maine khachakhach bhid hoti hai . RB jaake line khada ho jata he par vicky do minute line maine khade hone ke bad bolta hai – bhai tu kahda reh yanha pe maine nikal raha hun aage kuch jugad bhidane ke liye .

RB –aare aabe agar jugad bhid raha hota toh itne bache kyun line pe khade hote khada hoja thoda der yanha pe .

Vicky- aabe chup kar dekh maine kaise 5 minute pe kaam khatam karta hun .

RB-thik he bhai jaa tu

Vicky chala jaat he andar aur RB wanhi khade hoke aage piche line ko dekh raha hota he . tabhi uske najar saamne road pe jaata he saamne se ek sunadr si ladki aarahi thi ek pal ke liye toh RB ko laga ki maano time ruk sa gaya ho aur hawayen achanak tez ho gayee ho aur wo ladki dhire dhire RB ke pass aati he aur RB ke samne khadi ho jati he aur phir RB ko dekhti he aur dhire se apni hath se hilake uske kandhe ko touch karke hilati he aur phir …phir kas ke ek thapad lagati he .. RB achanak hadabada jata he

Vicky-aabe wo sale gay tab se tujhe bula raha hun kanha pe khoya hua he aur mujhe aise has kar kyun dekhraha tha .mujhe tujh pe pehlese hi dobt tha sala hijda kanhi ka .

RB-aare tu kanah se aagaya achanak

Vicky – achanak matlab kab se tere samne khada hun aake aur tujhe do baar hila ke bhi puch liya par tu khud hi jinda lash jaise khada tha .

RB-acha caha bata kya hua .

Vicky – chal bhai maine toh apni form jama karadi ,500 rs lage peon ko dediya abhi wo form jama karke recipt leke aayega .tu khada reh yenhi pe dhoop maien ..

RB- to tu kanha jayega ?

Vicky-aabe mujhe kya tere tarha vella aadmi samjh rakha he kya jaake ladkiyan dekhunga .

RB- han to jaa maine kya karu

Vicky – tu kar bhi kya sakta he .gay sala

Aur vicky chala gaya ladki taadne aur RB wanhi khada raha aur kuch student se baat chit karne laga

RB-hi,my self RB

Sooraj-hi RB, my self sooraj

RB- bhai ye line toh khatam nahini ho rahi he ?

Sooraj – bhai form toh easily jama ho rahe haine but panga ye he ki science aur commerce walo ko ek line maine daal diya he aur science wale apne branch decide karne ke liye issue bana rahe haine kyun ki seat limited he .waise aap kons stream apply kar rahe haine

RB- bhai maine toh science aur aap

Sooraj – mera bhi . chalo acha hua pehele hi dost ban gayee hum.

Tabhi ek peon aat he aur announce karta he ki commerce walo window no10 maine jao aapka wanah pe hoga ..aur sare commerce wal enikal jate haine .

RB –chalo ab toh pura khali hoagaya tension free.

Sooraj- han bhai lagta he bhagwan ne sun liya aakhir kaar hamari murad barna ab khade hote sham tak yanhi pe

 

Chinturocky

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Behtareen update,
Dekhate hai kahani aage kya mod leti hai.
Kahani ka plot bahut Achchha hai, aur kahani ke plot ko Change nahi Karna.
Jo bhi likhana apne man se likhana kisi ke influence me mat aana.
Best of luck
 
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Rbcl.007

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Update No 7
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Tabhi ek peon aat he aur announce karta he ki commerce walo window no10 maine jao aapka wanah pe hoga ..aur sare commerce wal enikal jate haine .

RB –chalo ab toh pura khali hoagaya tension free.

Sooraj- han bhai lagta he bhagwan ne sun liya
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Ab aage

Aur uske baad wo dono apna form submit karte haine aur aage ka procedure pata karte haien 15 din baad second delection ke sath hi 1st selection walo ko allot hui branch ka declare hoga tabhi aap hostel ke liye bhi apply kar sakte ho.

Sooraj- bhai tum hostel apply karoge kya .

RB- han bhai mujjhe ghar se bohat door padega toh karna padega .

Sooraj- waise to maine yanha mama ke ghar rehta hun par maine hostel rehna chata hun .wanha pe bohat restiction hai.maine bas kuch dost dhoond raha tha ki hostel room apply sath maine karne ke liye .

RB –thik he bhai chalo nikalte haine phir milenge .

Phir wo dono number exchange karte haine. Aur RB vicky ko dhoondte hue aa jata he campus side janha dekhta he ki vicky moonh latkaye betha he .

RB –kya hua bhai ?

Vicky – puch hi mat sala peon ko paise aur form diye sale ne paise toh thik se rakh diya jeb maine par pata nahini form kanha rakhdiya andar ab mil nahini raha he to recipt nahini de rahe haine ab kya karu ?

RB- aare aare hamare bhai ke tph lenter lage pade hai . pehle toh badi bedi hank rah tha .

Vicky – han time he tera maar le .bol to jhuk jaun ache se mar liyo .

RB – aare gussa kyun ho raha hai . aa dekhte haine andar ek baar .

Anadr se unhe bataya gaya ki aap log wait kar lijiye bahar ,ek bar admission complete ho jaye tab aap ke doccument ek baar check karlenge .

RB- bhai gussa na ho toh ek baat bolun .

Vicky –han bol .

RB – aabe sun be nalke g**d to mara liya bohat ab jaake chup chap kuch khane ko le aa .ab pata nahini kitna der bethna padega .

Vicky kuch nahini bolta bas ek baar dekhta he RB ke tarf aur sochta he han beta mera bhi din aayega aur bahar chala jata he khana lane ke liye . phir dono beth ke wanhi khane lag jaate haine ab pura college khali ho gaya tha lag bhag sare student chale gaye the .aur hamare dono laad sahab bethe the shayad college ko lock karke aane ke liye ..

Tabhi peon aake unhe bulata he .aur dono uske sath andar chale jaate haine .

Andar unko vicky ka form and doccument miljata he dono submit karke .ghar aajate haine .ab bas din aise hi bita gaye .iss bich RB ka sooraj ke stah bhi bat hua ki wo teeno RB,soorajaur vicky sath maine ek room ke liye request kar leneg .dekhte dekhte 15 din chale gaye aur aaj 1st semistar walon ka branch allotment nikalne wala tha aur sath maine 2nd selection walon ka submission tha . dono ponhach jate haine college . sooraj bhi unhe wanhi mil jaat he .

Sooraj – bhai log abhi toh list aaya nahini he kya karte haine chalo bahar ghum ke aate hai. Andar jake kya karna he waise bhi .

Vicky- tumhe jana he toh jao maine chala samjbaad karne

Sooraj-samajbaad??

RB- aare bhai uska matlab ladki taadne aur jo girls aaj 2nd selection wali aayi hongi submit karne unse help karne ke bahane …chance marne .

Vicky – dekh bhai tujhe gar ladkon maine intrest he toh ismine ham kya kar sakt hein .

Sooraj –LOL

RB- chal bhai ham chalte haine ye toh nahini aane wala .

Wo dono bahar ke taraf chal padte he aur vicky admission wing ke taraf .

Sooraj aur RB ek dookan ke pass jate haine sooraj ek cigarette kharidta hai.aur pina shuru kardeta hai.

Aur hamare RB mahashay moong daal ka packet pe hath saaf karne maine lag jaate haine (aabe sala iss chutiye character ko kyun hero banaya sala bhukad kanhi ka)

To dono bahar ghum gham ke wapas aagaye .aur vicky ke pass jane lage .aare bhai bhai vicky sach maine ek cute si bandi ka help kar raha tha .aur baaten bhi kar rah tha (kash maine isse hero banata ….) .ye dono bas uski karamat dekh rahe the . vicky ne uska form fill up karadiya aur doccument ke sath ache se attch karake sab ready kara diya . tabhi list bhi lag gaye 1st selection walo branch allotment ki. Toh vicky usse bye bol ke aagaya apne doston ke pass .

Sooraj- bhai sahi khel gaya londa pakka khiladi he tu .

Vicky – han han pata he baap ko mat sikha

Sooraj- naam kya *****

Vicky – sochna bhi mat ..meri already book he tu koi aur dekh liyo aur naam bata du Dipika.

Sooraj – chalo ab list dekh lete haine pehele .

Phir wo log list dekhne chale gaye naseeb se sab ka PCM aagaya aur bas baad maine optional choose karna tha wo college suru hone ke sath hi karna tha .ab wo sab aur hostel apply form fill up karte haine aur sath maien room ke liye apply kar lete haine 4 student per room allot ho rahe the toh agar a log 4th naam nahini diya toh inko koi random selection milega .par inke pass uss time aur koi naam nahini tha to a sirf 3 hi naam de diye aur aaagyae wapis .aur bahar aagaye .ab koi khash plan na tha to nikal gaye sab soota pine ke chakar maine .tabhi piche se awaj aati he .

“excuse me,vicky”. Sab piche mood ke dekhte haine piche ek sundar si ladki khadi thi .

Vicky –aap mujhe bula rahi haine?

Sooraj- bhai ye ek din maine kitne ladki pata liya be tune ?

Vicky – aabe mujhe nahini pata be ye kon he rook matter kya he sun ke aata hun .

Sooraj-bhai ye meri fix fix fix .galti se bhi kuch mat sochna

RB- ……………………….

Sooraj- aabe kya hua kuch bolega

RB bas ek taq uss tarf dekh raha tha jiss taraf wo ladki khadi thi .

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sorry bhai log contest ke liye ek story likh raha tha to update nahini de paya . wo story bhi post ho gayee hai.plz usse bhi ek baar check kar lo aur apna review jaroor dena .


DIL ,DOSTI AUR JINDEGI

https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-4#post-728788
 

Rbcl.007

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aare jaroor bhai maine pura kosisi karoonga aapko story maine maja aaye . or jitna ho sake original plot ke hisab se hi story aage badha sakun .
Thanks for your support bhai .stay tuned and keep supporting me
.:party:
 
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