Horror The Last Game of the Dead

[CrypticAura]

Update -5

Sandhya :- Vikram mujhe bol rha tha usse manjoor hai lekin mujhe pta tha iss baare woh pareshan tha woh mujhe badalne ki koshish karega ye mujhe pta tha.

Sandhya ciggerate ka kaash lete huye.

Sandhya:- aur shayad usne Aisa socha tha ki bacchon ke saath rehkar mein badal jaongi.

Arjun sab sunke bolta hai :- tum usse yaad karti ho ?

Sandhya :- mujhe nahi pta mein iss baarein mein bohut sochti hu sach kahu toh mujhe thoda sandeh hai.

Arjun gaadi chalate huye bagal mein zombies jo chal rhe the unhe dekh rha tha.

Sandhya :- mein pehle unn maa ke baare mein bakwaas karti thi Jo kehti thi bacchon ko palna duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam hai.

Sandhya ciggerate kaash lete huye dhua chorti hai

Sandhya :- Karan ki wajah se mujhe lgne lga hai unki baat mein kuch sacchai toh thi.

Sandhya ( khaste huye ) :- uska dimaag ghumna Aisa hai ki mujhe lgta hai kabhi kabhi usse chor du sadak ke kinare chor ka bhag jaye.

Arjun usse dekhta hai.

Sandhya:- mein mazak kar rhi hu jahir si baat hai mein nahi karungi aisa.

Arjun :- tumhe aisi baatein nahi bolni chahiye.

Sandhya:- mene bola naa mazak tha.

Arjun:- shayad pura nahi.

Sandhya:- pura hi mazak tha dekho Arjun mein inhe pyaar karti hu aur mein kar sakti hu Bina karan ke yaad dilaye ki mein uski sagi maa nahi hu jab woh naraz ho.

Arjun :- woh ab apni teenage mein hai tumhe toh pta hi hai iss Umar mein.

Arjun:- jis waqt apko uttejna hone lgti hai Puri duniya Andheri lgne lgti hai

Sandhya:- Jo tum baat kar rahe ho, woh toh bahut accha lagta hai, khoon se bhare underwear se deal karne ke muqable.

Arjun Sandhya ki baat par hasta hai.

Sandhya:- Ohh mujhe sone ka Mann kar rha hai.

Arjun chok jata hai.

Sandhya muskurate huye :- mujhe lgta hai mene topic bohut ajeeb tarike se change Kiya.

Arjun :- bacche tumhe sunn skte hai,mujhe nahi lgta kisi ko sunna pasand hoga unke maa baap aisi baat karein.

Sandhya:- sauteli maa aur chacha iss mein nahi aate aur wese bhi woh log neend mein hai aur ek baat hum unke real maa baap nahi hai.

Arjun:- phir bhi.

Priya aankh mal kar uthti hai peeche van se bolti hai :- uhh ghh ye kaisi khushbu hai ?


Arjun:- hey Priya huh hum shayad waha kisi cheez yaa janwar se Takraye honge jo Ganda hoga.

Priya :- mujhe pta hai aap log drugs lete hai.

Sandhya :- ye bohut hi bekaar tarike se kehne ka tarika hai priya, karan ko nahi batana.

priya :- ussi ne btaya.

Arjun:- ek minute tum ab car mein bhi peene lgi ho Sandhya ?

Sandhya Karan ko dekhti hai Jo usse ghure jaa rha tha.

Arjun :- theek hai sab log apne windows ke kaanch neeche Karo kahi dhua tumhe chhadh naa jaye.

Arjun Road ka board padhta hai jis par auto garage likha hai.

Arjun:- hum abhi supplies ke stop par pahunchne wale hai.

Arjun van ki speed tez kar deta hai !

Van Auto stop ke darwaze par rukti hai jo ki khule maidaan ki tarah tha jaha bohut si kabaad ka samaan tha.

Arjun aur Sandhya aas paas dekhte hai aur phir Arjun gaadi se neeche utarta hai apni torch jala kar aas paas nazar daudata hai.

Isme sandhya aur Arjun apne rishte aur zindagi ke challenges par baat karte hain. Sandhya apne pati Vikram aur apne sauteli bacchon ke saath apne feelings share karti hai, jisme woh apne emotions aur responsibilities ke beech jhoolti nazar aati hai. Yeh conversation unke beech ek deep emotional connection ko dikhata hai, lekin Priya ke jagne se thoda humor bhi add hota hai. Update ka ant suspenseful hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya ek nayi location par supplies ke liye rukte hain.

You are writing amazing isse ye pta bhi chal rha hai kahi Naa kahi Sandhya aur Vikram ka rishta pehle se hi kharaab tha

 

[CrypticAura]

Update -6

Sandhya gaadi se neeche utar kar Driving seat par baith jati hai.

Arjun aage torch lekar check kar rha tha peeche Sandhya Van ko start karti hai aur Arjun ke peeche dheere dheere gaadi badhati hai.

Sandhya Gaadi ek Khali jagah lga deti hai, Arjun Gaadi ka Sliding door kholta jisme se Karan utar jata hai.

Karan Peeth ko hila rha tha baahe faila kar, Arjun gaadi ki seat ke neeche se ek hathiyaar leta hai jo ki nukeela hathoda tha.

Arjun aur teeno Priya ko dekh rhe the Jo haath jode thi aankhen band Kiye bhagwan se prathna kar rhi thi ye dekh teeno ko dukh hota hai.

Priya aankh khol kar :- mene prathna mein manga ki Aaj ek chocolate mil jaye.

Sab muskura dete hai.

Sandhya:- thik hai toh Hume kya kya chahiye jiski zaroorat hai.

Priya:- hmm ek Chocolate?

Arjun :- tumne suna Prathna karo ki waha ek Chocolate ho.

Sandhya :- Chalo phir Shuru karte hai petrol se Hume fuel dhundhna hai aur yaha se aage badhna hai.

kisi ke gurrane ki awaaz aati hai ek Zombie dheere dheere aage badh rha tha uske jabde par ek nukeela lohe ka danda ghusa hua tha,

Arjun aage badhta hai aur woh lohe ka dhanda pakad kar bahar nikalta hai jisse zombie chillata hai aur Arjun woh seedha muh par jor se Marta hai.

zombie neeche padha tha woh mu upar karta hai Arjun uss lohe ke dhande ko full power se Marta hai jisse zombie ka sar fat jata hai.

Sab log paas aate hai.

Karan aage badhne lgta hai akele.

Arjun :- Tum kaha Jaa rhe ho ?

karan sabko dekhta hai aur aage nikal jata hai.

Sandhya :- thik hai maze karna.

priya Arjun ke paas ja kar kehti hai :- mujhe bilkul pasand nahi jab ye log ladte hai.

Priya :- aisa lgta hai jaise karan ko sirf behas hi karni hoti hai chahe phir woh kisi bhi baare mein ho.

Arjun :- Haan yahi toh parivaar karta hai jhagda karte hai phir samjhauta phir phirse sab par ladai karte hai.

Arjun :- Kam se kam tumhare paas headphones toh hai.

Priya:- Haan par batteries kuch hafto se khatam hai, mein toh bas tum logo ko bewakoof bnane ke liye pehenti hu ye bohut aasan hota hai Mann bhataknaa.

Arjun :- kaash mein bhi kar pata.

Priya :- battery ke baare kuch nahi btaya kyunki aapke pas pehle se hi pareshan karne ke liye bohut si mushkile hai.

Sandhya:- raat ke khaane ke liye acha mood karna.

Arjun :- iss kabadkhane mein ?

Sandhya ek lohe ka danda dete huye :- Aap nahi jante kab kya mile pichhle kuch saal se log har jagah par kuch naa kuch cheeze jama kar rhe hai.

Priya dusri taraf Cheeze dhundne jane lgti hai.

Arjun :- haan aur Priya agar koi musibat mile tumhe inme se ek car mil jayegi

Priya :- Theek hai.

Arjun :- apne aap ko lock kar lena aur tab bhi mat aana jab shant lge intezar karna jab tak tum kar sako.


Priya sar hila kar chali jati hai Sandhya bhi dusri taraf chali jati hai.

Arun apni torch jala kar aage chalne lgta hai.

Arjun ko do bade tanker milte hai jinka koi use nahi tha woh aage badh jata usse bohut kabad milte hai but kuch Khaas nahi mila woh Sandhya ke paas jata hai.

Arjun:- kuch mila ?

Sandhya:- nahi mein Uss jhund ke baare mein soch rhi thi hum isme phas jayenge phir kya Shanti bewakoofi afsos usse bahar nikalne ka rasta nahi mil skta.

Arjun Saans chorta hai.

Sandhya:- hum seconds mein jaa skte hai.

Arjun :- iss baare mein mat socho hum sabdhan rahenge akal se hum unse aage rahenge.

Sandhya:- Kismat ka luck asani se khatam ho jata hai kisi fuel or petrol gas ki tarah.

Arjun Sochne lgta hai.

Sandhya :- waha akhiri hoga tumhe pta hai Akhiri gas ka tank aakhiri Khaane ka tukda, kya hoga agar aage ki jagah bhi Khali nikle aur usse aage bhi phir ?

Arjun:- hum Aisa nahi hone denge okay ?

Sandhya :- theek hai mujhe 5 minutes chahiye mein theek hu (Sandhya phir se dhundhne lg jati hai )

Arjun gaadiyon ko check kar rha tha

Arjun ek toote purane gaadi se gas nikalne lgta hai jo ki thoda hi tha.

Arjun :- mushkil se thoda Mila aur dhundhna hoga.

Karan ek bade tin ke dabbe ke upar baitha tha

Arjun ek Truck se gas nikalta hai jo jyada tha.

Arjun aage dekhta badh jata hai usse ek sidhi dikhti hai jo ek bade lohe ke tanker se lagi thi uski dusri taraf bhi shayad bohut jagah thi.

Arjun :- lgta hai yaha bohut kuch hai upar bhi dekhne ke liye.

Sandhya :- Kuch mila ?

Arjun :- Haan but jyada nahi.

karan waha se nikal rha tha.

Arjun:- hey karan chalo upar chal kar dekhte hai.

Sandhya:- Karan Arjun ke saath hi rehna Samajh gye ?

karan :- theek hai

Dono baari baari upar chadh kar dusri taraf khud jate hai jaha bohut se lohe aur tooti gaadiya thi waha unhe ek ambulance dikhi Jo sahi halat mein thi bas dhul lgi thi

Karan :- dekho woh shayad woh kabhi kisi jagah nahi le gye Woh acchi condition mein hai.

Arjun:- badhiya nazar hai.

Arjun gas tank neeche rakhta hai aur ambulance ka fuel dhakkan kholne ka try karta Jo ki lock tha Arjun apna crowbar nikalta hai aur Dhakkan khol deta hai.

Arjun Pump dalkar fuel bharne lgta hai Tank mein.

Arjun:- ye thoda samay lega.

Arjun tab tak ambulance ko dekhne lgta hai woh ambulance ka darwaza kholne ki koshish karta hai par lock tha.

Arjun :- khair humare paas kuch toh fuel toh aaya.

tabhi unhe ek zombie ki awaaz aati hai jo do tanker wale raste aa rha tha Arjun apna Crowbar uske sar mar mar deta hai woh uss raste ko dekhta hai jaha ek rasta gya hai hai.

Arjun:- lgta hai ye yaha se aaya Karan mere saath rehna.

Arjun aur karan uss raste ke aage unhe bohut tankers ke dabbe dikhte hai unke aage unhe ek lakdi ka Ghar dikhta hai jo acchi condition mein tha chhoti sidhiya jo lakdi ki thi woh darwaze par lejati hai bagal mein lambi Khali jagah.

Arjun choti seedhi chadke darwaze ko kholne ka try karta hai but lock tha woh door eye ka glass jo ki toota tha usme dekhta hai Ghar mein floor par ek lohe ka darwaza dikhta hai.

Arjun :- shayad use lohe ke darwaze se nikalna sambhav ho.

Arjun neeche choti seedhiyon ke dekhta hai jo darwaze tak gayi waha ek zameen ke liye Khali jagah thi jaha se rasta gya hai Arjun jhuk kar Aage badhta hai neeche Grass aur mitti thi Jo ghar ke neeche le Jaa rha tha Ghar thoda upar tha zameen se jaha se lohe ka darwaza laga woh usse kholkar upar Ghar mein aa jata hai darwaza khol deta hai, Arjun karan ko bulata hai jo Gaadi ke aas paas dekh rha tha.

Bhai, story mein suspense aur tension kaafi accha build kiya hai. Arjun ka character kaafi strong lag raha hai, aur uska survival instinct bhi clearly dikh raha hai. Sandhya aur Priya ke dialogues mein thoda light-heartedness add karke tune balance maintain kiya hai, jo ki achha laga. Zombie action bhi thik hai, especially jab Arjun ne lohe ka danda use karke uss zombie ko maara.Mujhe ek cheez aur pasand aayi ki tumne survival ke practical aspects dikhaye, jaise fuel dhundhna aur gaadiyon ka check karna. Lekin ek suggestion hai, thoda pace aur fast karne ki koshish karna, especially jab action sequences ho. Isse reader ka interest aur barh jayega.Next update mein first-person perspective sunke excitement aur badh gayi hai. Arjun ke viewpoint se story aur engaging hogi. Keep it up, bhai.

 

[CrypticAura]

Update -7

Kahani ab First person hogi so agar mein bolu toh samjh Jana Arjun hai.
Mein uss darwaze se andar aa kar Karan ko pukarta hu jo car ko dekh rha tha woh meri awaaz sunke Ghar ke andar aa jata hai.

Ghar mein sirf ek hi bada kamra tha kisi cabin ki tarah shayad garage ke liye ho bohut se dibbe aur lohe ki kursi table sab the jagah saaf nahi thi but waha koi zombies nahi the.

mein apna kulhadi bagal ki table par rakh deta hu aur karan ko savdhan rehne ko bolta hu.

karan Puri jagah ko dekh rha tha :- waah ye jagah toh bohut jabardast tareek se sajayi gyi hai.

Mein thode aage jata hu jaha ek Ganda bed tha.

mein :- bohut aaram dayak lg rha hai aur ghatiya bhi.

mein ek almari mein rakhe bohut khaane ke dibbe dekhta hu Jo ki bohut the alag alag type ke.

Karan:- yakin nahi hota ?

mein :- Khush kismati hai inn cheezon mein ek padarth milaya jata hai jo inhe bohut lambe samay tak chala skta hai.
karan apne bag mein woh dibbe bharne lgta hai.

mein :- yaha bohut khana hai ye Hume bohut lambe samay tak chala skta hai.
Bahar ka darwaza khulta hai jisme se priya andar aati hai aur uske peeche Sandhya.

Karan bhagkar priya ke paas jata hai usse woh khaana dikhata hai.

priya:- sach mein.

Karan :- yaha sabkuch hai bed blanket.
Sandhya:- kisi aur ka bed kisi aur ka blanket, Hume sirf fuel chahiye aur yaha se nikalna hai.

Mein :- Sandhya sahi keh rhi hai yeh jagah bohut bura khayal de rhi hai kya pta zombies humare aas paas aa jaye.
Sandhya :- badhiya ab mein aur jyada dar chuki hu.

Karan Sandhya ke paas jate huye :- please sirf ek raat so skte hai asli Ghar mein rhe..

Priya :- yeh badhiya hai agar hum van mein naa soye.

Karan aur priya Arjun aur Sandhya ko dekhte hai.

Sandhya :- infected ka jhund aa rha hai agar woh yaha abhi nahi aaya hai toh sahi mauka hai unse aage nikalne ka isse pehle der ho.

karan :- humare aas paas ki jagah majboot hai hum yaha surakshit hai, uss van se lakh Guna jyada humne ye jagah dhundhi hai hum thodi der toh reh hi skte hai inn khane ka lutf utha skte hai.

Priya :- Arjun chacha kya hum ruk skte hai ? Hum sab acche se so payenge ek baar hi sahi.

Karan :- chalo bhi yeh koi badi baat nahi.
mein :- Hum woh sab lenge Jo lene aaye hai aur yaha se chale jayenge.

karan :- Badhiya ek aur raat humari uss ghatiya khatara van mein yeah ( ek taunt marte huye)

priya :- chalo Kam se kam khana toh le le.

priya aur karan khana rakhne lgte hai.
Mein Sandhya ki taraf dekhta hu jo bahar chali jati hai mein uske peeche jata hu.

Sandhya:- Baat manne ke liye shukriya, Kaise lg rha hai iss baar unke liye bura ban ke?

Mein :- bohut bekaar chalo phirse jaise tha waise hi karte hai. Jab mein unke liye accha aur mazedaar tha.

Sandhya :- Bilkul nahi ab tum bade ho gye toh tum hi sambhalo.

priya unhe khidki mein se tokti :- kya tum help kar dogi inse.

Mein :- hey ruko sun-

Sandhya wapis jane lgti hai woh mujhe ek chocolate ka packet dete huye :- iske badle unke liye bure toh ban hi skte ho.

Mein ( muskurate huye ) :- Shukriya.
Sandhya :- jaldi se fuel lo aur yaha se nikalte hai.

jab mein gas dabba jo ki bhara jaa rha tha usse uthata hu toh mujhe gun load ki awaaz aati hai.

Gun wala admi Gun dikhate huye :- oye tu hamari Fuel ke saath kya kar rha?
mein aage badhne ki koshish karta hu toh dikhta hai waha teen aur aa jate hai.
mein tank neeche rakhta hu.

Dusra :- Chal bolna shuru kar warna sarr khol dunga.

Mein :- woah woah dekho iss mein saara hai tum isse rakhlo.

gun man apne logo ko dekhta hai aur bolta hai :- iske liye der ho chuki hai.

Raghu aage badhte huye bolta hai :- tu akela toh nahi lgta mein bta skta hu.

Raghu ( jor se ) :- mujhe pta hai tere saath aur bhi hai.

mein :- suna unki fikar mat Karo woh Jaa chuke hai aur wapis nahi aane wale ( Ghar ki taraf jor se bolta hua )

Raghu :- Woh tujhe chor ke chalte ban gye ( haste huye )

Raghu ke admi bhi hass the the.

Raghu:- Birju Aly Keshav Sab alag ho kar dhundho yahi kahi honge.

sab sar hila kar dhundne lgte hai aas paas
birju mujh par gun taan kar tu mere saath chalega chal.

Raghu aage Ghar ki taraf Jaa rha tha aur sidhiyon par ruk jata hai darwaze se dur aakar mein beech mein tha mere peeche Birju bandook lgaye tha.

Raghu ( Jor se ) :- oye bhos***lo tumhara admi humare paas hai agar tum nahi chahte mein isse bandook se uda du toh chup chap baahar aa jao apne Haath upar karke.

Raghu ( mujhe dhakka dete huye peeche se ) Chal tu aage nikal tere log tujhe hi goli maarenge ye mera din Chand chaar bna degi.

Mein aage badhta hu darwaze ki taraf ( mujhe Darr lg rha tha kyunki Sandhya aur bacche andar hai).

Mera Dil bohut speed se dhadak rha tha mere haath kaap rhe the paseena maathe se.

Raghu :- dheere dheere khol.

mein dheere dheere darwaza kholta hu.

First-person perspective mein story aur zyada engaging ho gayi hai. Arjun ke thoughts aur emotions ab aur clear nazar aa rahe hain, especially jab woh Sandhya aur bacchon ke liye tension mehsoos karta hai. Scene ka description kaafi detailed hai, jo environment aur characters ke reactions ko real banata hai.Jab armed men aate hain, us waqt ka tension brilliantly build hota hai. Arjun ka Sandhya aur bacchon ke liye dar readers ko feel hota hai. Arjun aur Sandhya ke beech ke dialogues bhi natural lagte hain aur unke beech ke chhote-chhote moments story mein humor aur humanity ka touch add karte hain.Bas thodi pacing ko aur tighten karne ki zarurat hai. Jaise, jab Karan aur Priya supplies ko le kar excited hote hain, toh wo scene thoda lamba lagta hai, aur tension se casual conversation mein shift thoda abrupt lagta hai. Arjun ke emotional stakes ko thoda aur highlight karne se reader ka connection aur strong ho sakta hai.Overall, yeh update suspense ko acche se build karta hai aur characters ko depth deta hai. Thodi pacing aur emotional intensity pe kaam karne se yeh aur bhi zyada compelling ho sakta hai.

Nice update

 

[CrypticAura]

Update -8

Sorry previous updates mein kuch color ka problem aa rhe hai kabhi blue kabhi green toh kabhi kuch mein pehli baar kar rha hu toh dekh lena.

Mein Andar ka darwaza kholta hu jaise hi mene darwaza khola aur andar dekhta hu ke Sandhya ka haath uss lohe ke darwaze ko band kar liya isse woh aur bacche neeche chale gye Ghar ke neeche zameen par Raghu abhi andar nahi pahuchta tha aur mein uske aage tha toh woh nahi dekh paya.

Mein uss darwaza jo floor se neeche jata hai us par khada ho jata hu Raghu aas paas dekh rha tha wahi birju darwaze se bahar dekh rha tha ki koi achanak hamla naa ho.

Mein Ek lakdi ka tukda dekhta hu Jo shayad garage Malik ne Uss darwaze ko chupane ke liye lgaya ho Usse dheere dheere pair se neeche ke darwaze ko chupane ki koshish karta hu jo ki aadha chip gya tha.

tab hi mujhe Raghu ke pairon ki awaaz aati hai jo wapis aa gya tha uske haath mein woh khana tha jo priya khaa rhi thi.

Raghu:- lgta hai tu aur tere yaaron ne ek acchi party ki hai idhar hai na.

Raghu :- Tujhe Jo pasand aaya tu woh le lega tere baap ka maal hai ?

birju apni bandook mujh par taan deta hai.

mein ( darte huye ):- D-dekho humne shayad hi mushkil se kuch liya ho Shayad koi pehle aaya ho ?

Raghu mud kar pure cabin ko dekhte huye:- dekho mujhe samajh aa gya hai theek hai, tum bhukhe the kon nahi inn dino mein, akhir mein tumhe lga ki chalo yaha se chori hi kar lete hai, kyun birju?

Birju ( gun neeche karte huye ) :- Haan sacchi galti.


Raghu :- Lekin mujhe abhi bohut Ajeeb ahsas hua ( Aur mujhe ek jor ka mukka marta hai pet mein jisse mein neeche ghutne ke bal girta hu )

Raghu:- ki tu pakka kuch gadbad kar rha hai.

Mein Dekhta hu Raghu uss Lakdi ke tukde ek upar pair rakhe tha jiske neeche woh lohe ka darwaza hai.

Raghu :- mein isse pichli baar ki tarah nahi hone dunga jab akhiri baat ek Ch***ya hum par chadh gya tha.

Raghu bahar jate huye birju se kehta hai :- iss par nazar rakhna mein hathkadi lene Jaa rha hu isse saath le jayenge.

mein uthne ki koshish karta hu birju phirse Gun taan deta hai :- tune suna naa chal ab shant re samjha mein isse bure tareeke se nahi karna chahta.

mein :- dekh dekho mujhe Jane do please.

birju ( gun neeche karke ) :- nahi sun meri baat ladke ye nahi ho skta Aur mein koi khoon kharaba nahi karna chahta.

birju :- isse wese le jane ki jaroorat nahi.

tabhi neeche floor se kisi ki tak Tak ki awaaz aati hai.

mein badhne ki koshish karta hu par birju gun taan deta hai aur bolta hai :- ye kaisi awaaz thi.

Birju gun mere paas late huye :- kya chhupaya hai tune neeche bta?

birju uss lakdi ke kapde Jo floor par tha gun karte huye puchta hai :- agar tujhe pta hai toh bolna shuru kar.

mein uss table ke thode dur par tha jaha mene aate waqt apna crowbar rakha tha mein usse pakadne ki koshish mein tha par Birju mere samne tha.

birju :- tu nahi chahega mein khud waha neeche jaakar pta karlu.

mein sochta hu phir bolta hu :- chalo bhi aur kya ho skta hai Zombies neeche Ghar ke ground mein phas gye honge yaha aas paas bohut hai.

Birju :- walkers ? Phir toh Hume ye jaldi sanbhalna parega kyun ?

meri Dil ki dhadkan tej ho jati hai.

jaise hi birju lohe ka floor par darwaza kholta hai usse Sandhya Priya aur karan Jo dare huye the birju chok jata hai.

uska dhyan un par tha yahi moka tha mein usse ek mukka marta hu jisse birju girta toh nahi par peeche ho jata hai darwaza bhi iss mein wapis lg jata hai.

mein uski gun Wale haath ko pakadta hu aur cheen ne ki koshish karta hu birju aur mein dono dam laga kar gun ko cheen ki koshish kar rhe the birju baahar Raghu aur saathiyon ko awaaz lgata hai.

Birju( jor se awaaz dete huye) :- dosto jaldi yaha aao.

Mein jor lgakar Gun uske muh par Marta hu jis se woh gun chor kar peeche hadbada jata hai aur gun mere haath mein aa jati hai mein revolver uske sar par Marta hu jisse woh neeche gir jata hai.

Raghu aur Aly andar bhag kar chillate huye birju jo ki neeche gira padha tha us ke paas aate hai mein woh revolver unke dekhne se pehle kone mein phek deta hu Aly apni naali wali bandook Mujh par taan deta hai.

Raghu birju ko dekh kar gusse mein gun mere par karte huye :- tujhe ye bohut mehanga padhne wala hai.

Mein :- suno suno ruko mujhe par goli mat chalana.

mein usse rokta hu fire naa karne ke liye lekin Raghu apni gun mere sar par mar deta hai jisse mere aage sab dhundhla dikhne lgta hai aur meri aankhe band ho jati hai mein jameen par gir jata hu.

Mein behos ho gya tha.

Yeh update bohot intense aur engaging hai, especially jab Raghu aur Birju ka suspenseful confrontation hota hai. Story ke flow mein tension aur drama acche se build hua hai. Arjun ka Sandhya aur bacchon ko bachane ka struggle readers ko edge par rakhta hai.Birju aur Arjun ke beech ka struggle aur Raghu ka sudden attack achanak hota hai, jo suspense ko aur badhata hai. Birju ka gun ke saath react karna aur Arjun ka uss moment ko handle karna achi tarah se likha gaya hai.

Raghu ka gussa aur Arjun ka desperation achhe se portray hua hai.Jo colors ka issue aap mention kar rahe ho, woh ho sakta hai ki formatting ya writing platform ke issues ki wajah se ho. Agar aap color coding ya formatting ke saath experiment kar rahe ho, toh ensure karo ki text ka consistency bani rahe, taaki readers ko padhne mein dikkat na ho.

.Pacing thodi aur tight ho sakti hai, especially action scenes mein. Kuch dialogues ko thoda concise karne se scenes aur impactful ho sakte hain.

Overall, yeh update suspenseful aur engaging hai, aur action ke saath emotional stakes ko bhi acche se balance karta hai. Thoda formatting aur pacing pe kaam karoge toh yeh aur bhi zyada powerful ban sakta hai.

Keep Writing brother story ab apna shayad pace pakadne wali hai

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

Isme sandhya aur Arjun apne rishte aur zindagi ke challenges par baat karte hain. Sandhya apne pati Vikram aur apne sauteli bacchon ke saath apne feelings share karti hai, jisme woh apne emotions aur responsibilities ke beech jhoolti nazar aati hai. Yeh conversation unke beech ek deep emotional connection ko dikhata hai, lekin Priya ke jagne se thoda humor bhi add hota hai. Update ka ant suspenseful hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya ek nayi location par supplies ke liye rukte hain.

You are writing amazing isse ye pta bhi chal rha hai kahi Naa kahi Sandhya aur Vikram ka rishta pehle se hi kharaab tha

Thankyou Cryptic bhai

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

Yeh update bohot intense aur engaging hai, especially jab Raghu aur Birju ka suspenseful confrontation hota hai. Story ke flow mein tension aur drama acche se build hua hai. Arjun ka Sandhya aur bacchon ko bachane ka struggle readers ko edge par rakhta hai.Birju aur Arjun ke beech ka struggle aur Raghu ka sudden attack achanak hota hai, jo suspense ko aur badhata hai. Birju ka gun ke saath react karna aur Arjun ka uss moment ko handle karna achi tarah se likha gaya hai.

Raghu ka gussa aur Arjun ka desperation achhe se portray hua hai.Jo colors ka issue aap mention kar rahe ho, woh ho sakta hai ki formatting ya writing platform ke issues ki wajah se ho. Agar aap color coding ya formatting ke saath experiment kar rahe ho, toh ensure karo ki text ka consistency bani rahe, taaki readers ko padhne mein dikkat na ho.

.Pacing thodi aur tight ho sakti hai, especially action scenes mein. Kuch dialogues ko thoda concise karne se scenes aur impactful ho sakte hain.

Overall, yeh update suspenseful aur engaging hai, aur action ke saath emotional stakes ko bhi acche se balance karta hai. Thoda formatting aur pacing pe kaam karoge toh yeh aur bhi zyada powerful ban sakta hai.

Keep Writing brother story ab apna shayad pace pakadne wali hai

Hmm mein next time aur better karne ki koshish karunga kahani reader se hi chalti hai

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

Bhai, story mein suspense aur tension kaafi accha build kiya hai. Arjun ka character kaafi strong lag raha hai, aur uska survival instinct bhi clearly dikh raha hai. Sandhya aur Priya ke dialogues mein thoda light-heartedness add karke tune balance maintain kiya hai, jo ki achha laga. Zombie action bhi thik hai, especially jab Arjun ne lohe ka danda use karke uss zombie ko maara.Mujhe ek cheez aur pasand aayi ki tumne survival ke practical aspects dikhaye, jaise fuel dhundhna aur gaadiyon ka check karna. Lekin ek suggestion hai, thoda pace aur fast karne ki koshish karna, especially jab action sequences ho. Isse reader ka interest aur barh jayega.Next update mein first-person perspective sunke excitement aur badh gayi hai. Arjun ke viewpoint se story aur engaging hogi. Keep it up, bhai.

Thankyou

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

ek zombie apocalypse ki kahani hai jo Kapoor family par focus karti hai. Characters aur unki backstories acchi tarah se develop hui hain. Yahan kuch points hain jo aapke story ko aur behtar bana sakte

Thankyou

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

Badhiya update bhai Yeh scene ka emotional depth accha hai. Vikram aur Arjun ke beech ka conflict aur family drama well portrayed hai. Arjun ka guilt aur Vikram ki frustration clear hai, jo story ko powerful banaati hai.Arjun aur Vikram ke beech ka tension aur Arjun ki struggle ko dikhane ka tarika engaging hai. Vikram ka anger aur disappointment real lagta hai, jo story ke emotional impact ko badhata hai Raat ke samay aur deserted road ki setting suspenseful aur dramatic feel deti hai. Yeh setting Arjun ki urgency aur desperation ko highlight karti hai starting bohut badhiya huyi hai likhte rho

Thankyou cryptic bhai aise hi Review dete rho

 

[skilletsurgeorg]

Is update mein kahani ek saal aage badh gayi hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya zombies ke khatarnak jhund se bachne ke liye sangharsh kar rahe hain. Arjun telescope se zombies ko dekh raha hai, jo campfire ke paas pahuch rahe hain. Arjun aur Sandhya apne bachon ke saath van mein nikal jate hain, lekin unhe andaza hai ki ye rasta asaan nahi hoga. Sandhya apni chinta Arjun ke saath share karti hai, lekin dono ko koi surakshit jagah dhoondhni hai.Update ke doosre hissa mein, ek nayi jagah dikhayi gayi hai jahan kuch log zombies se bachne ke liye taiyari kar rahe hain. Yahan ek aurat, jo cigarette pi rahi hai, aur ek admi, jo unka kaam dekh raha hai, introduce kiye gaye hain. Yeh nayi jagah aur log kaun hain, yeh aage pta chalega.Update ke ant mein, Sandhya aur Arjun van mein cigarette share karte hain, aur Sandhya apne beete huye dinon ke baare mein baat karti hai. Dono apne rishte aur halat par discussion karte hain, jo kahani mein ek emotional touch add karta hai.

Is update mein kahani ek saal aage badh gayi hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya zombies ke khatarnak jhund se bachne ke liye sangharsh kar rahe hain. Arjun telescope se zombies ko dekh raha hai, jo campfire ke paas pahuch rahe hain. Arjun aur Sandhya apne bachon ke saath van mein nikal jate hain, lekin unhe andaza hai ki ye rasta asaan nahi hoga. Sandhya apni chinta Arjun ke saath share karti hai, lekin dono ko koi surakshit jagah dhoondhni hai.Update ke doosre hissa mein, ek nayi jagah dikhayi gayi hai jahan kuch log zombies se bachne ke liye taiyari kar rahe hain. Yahan ek aurat, jo cigarette pi rahi hai, aur ek admi, jo unka kaam dekh raha hai, introduce kiye gaye hain. Yeh nayi jagah aur log kaun hain, yeh aage pta chalega.Update ke ant mein, Sandhya aur Arjun van mein cigarette share karte hain, aur Sandhya apne beete huye dinon ke baare mein baat karti hai. Dono apne rishte aur halat par discussion karte hain, jo kahani mein ek emotional touch add karta hai.

Also Hume ye nahi pata chala ki akhir mein Arun Vikram Rekha kya hua i hope kuch hint mile yaa flashback jo btaye ki akhir Vikram Rekha Arun kaise ma

Is update mein kahani ek saal aage badh gayi hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya zombies ke khatarnak jhund se bachne ke liye sangharsh kar rahe hain. Arjun telescope se zombies ko dekh raha hai, jo campfire ke paas pahuch rahe hain. Arjun aur Sandhya apne bachon ke saath van mein nikal jate hain, lekin unhe andaza hai ki ye rasta asaan nahi hoga. Sandhya apni chinta Arjun ke saath share karti hai, lekin dono ko koi surakshit jagah dhoondhni hai.Update ke doosre hissa mein, ek nayi jagah dikhayi gayi hai jahan kuch log zombies se bachne ke liye taiyari kar rahe hain. Yahan ek aurat, jo cigarette pi rahi hai, aur ek admi, jo unka kaam dekh raha hai, introduce kiye gaye hain. Yeh nayi jagah aur log kaun hain, yeh aage pta chalega.Update ke ant mein, Sandhya aur Arjun van mein cigarette share karte hain, aur Sandhya apne beete huye dinon ke baare mein baat karti hai. Dono apne rishte aur halat par discussion karte hain, jo kahani mein ek emotional touch add karta hai.

Is update mein kahani ek saal aage badh gayi hai, jahan Arjun aur Sandhya zombies ke khatarnak jhund se bachne ke liye sangharsh kar rahe hain. Arjun telescope se zombies ko dekh raha hai, jo campfire ke paas pahuch rahe hain. Arjun aur Sandhya apne bachon ke saath van mein nikal jate hain, lekin unhe andaza hai ki ye rasta asaan nahi hoga. Sandhya apni chinta Arjun ke saath share karti hai, lekin dono ko koi surakshit jagah dhoondhni hai.Update ke doosre hissa mein, ek nayi jagah dikhayi gayi hai jahan kuch log zombies se bachne ke liye taiyari kar rahe hain. Yahan ek aurat, jo cigarette pi rahi hai, aur ek admi, jo unka kaam dekh raha hai, introduce kiye gaye hain. Yeh nayi jagah aur log kaun hain, yeh aage pta chalega.Update ke ant mein, Sandhya aur Arjun van mein cigarette share karte hain, aur Sandhya apne beete huye dinon ke baare mein baat karti hai. Dono apne rishte aur halat par discussion karte hain, jo kahani mein ek emotional touch add karta hai.

Also Hume ye nahi pata chala ki akhir mein Arun Vikram Rekha kya hua i hope kuch hint mile yaa flashback jo btaye ki akhir Vikram Rekha Arun kaise mare.

Woh flashback mein pta chalega ki kaise kya hua aur Arjun Sandhya aur Bacche kaise bache