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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

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Mak

Mak

Recuérdame!
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AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)
By: The Immortal
_________________________

Wow! That's an interesting read. The best thing is fluency in the story. I mean I have read it in one go, that shows how the flow of the story is. Brilliant. Plot bhi achha socha hai, and presentation bhi kafi achha tha.

Immo, Kahani me koi kami nahi hai. but, as a reader mujhe laga tumne sare patte ek saath hi khol diye, I mean isko aur behtareen thriller bana sakte the. Thoda sa conversations mein kya chupana hai or kya bachana hai uspar kaam kar sakte ho.. Is se end mein thoda shocking element milega, that's best part of thriller story.

Very lovely read and in my opinion this should be in top 3. Brilliant effort.

(Collage and College are different words, Collage means a collection of pictures or artwork. :slap: )

Best of Luck. :love:
_________________________
 
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Chutiyadr

Chutiyadr

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REVIEW

STORY - Khwaab-Ek Haqiqat

WRITER- Milan2010

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-4#post-721626

PLOT – ye story do college going logo ki hai ek hai Shreya aur dusara hai aarav ..

Story ka plot bahut hi achcha hai ,shreya ek aisi ladki hai jo ki apne jiwan me akeli hai aur sabhi ki madad ko taiyar rahti hai chahe to insaan ho ya janwar,janwaro se uska khas lagaw bhi hai kyoki use lagta hai ki janwaro ke pas wo suvidha nahi hai jo ki insaano ke pas hai ,aur ye bat sahi hi hai …

Ye ek achchi morality wali story hai ..

Ab story ki baki chijo ke bare me bat kare to flow isme gadbad hai ,emotion dalne ki koshis to hai lekin story jyda involve nhi karti .kyoki drama ka dose thoda heavy ho gaya hai jo mujhe personally boring laga ..yanha main personally shabd isliye use kar rha hu kyoki kai logo ko drama bahut pasand aata hai aur un logo ko ye story achchi lagegi ..

Mujhe ek chij aur samjh nhi aayi pure contest me log love story me ek partner ko maar kyo rahe hai :lotpot:

Khair story achchi thi isme koi shaq nahi hai ,lekin shuruwat jis tarh se ki gai bade hi dramatic andaj me wo thoda negative point laga mujhe kyoki bad me use maintain kar paana thoda muskil ho gaya ,aur yahi pe kuch ho gaya …baki college ke scene ke bad se story ne achcha flow pakd liya jo ki involving tha ,pahle ke do paragraph agar nahi likhe jaate to bhi story me koi fark nahi padne wala tha bakli story thodi involving jarur ho jaati …



NOTE FOR WRITER – milan bhai aap ek achche aur purane writer ho isliye itana lamba likh rha hu review ko ,naye writer ko main kabhi criticize nahi karta ,purane writer samjhte hai chijo ko isliye bol dena chahiye jo dimag me hota hai isliye maine bhi bol diya ,hope you understand my points..

Story aapki achhi thi lekin mujhe personally lagta hai ki suruwat aapne galt kar di ,aur ye mera personal opinion hai baki log kya sochte hai mujhe nahi pata ,mujhe ye chij thodi feel hui …

Baki aap writer to achche ho isme koi shaq nhi hai ,aur aapki mehnat bhi dikhti hai story me …:superb:

Best of luck for contest….
 
Damha

Damha

𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓖𝓮𝓽𝓼𝓾𝓰𝓪 𝓣𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓸
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TITLE - MITTI KI KHUSHBU

WRITER - Chutiyadr


Plot bohat he umda tha sach me foji jahan ka bhi ho apni mitti se sab ko Pyar hota hai main ek Army officer hu mujhe pata hai is chee, ka jazba ek fouji ki mehnat sab ka mujhe andaza hai ek ek cheez ap ne bohat ache tarike se dikhai I proud to read this story ap sach me ek ache lekhak ho sir ap ka naam ap ko dusri story per suit karta hai but yahan ap ka ye naam Lena ap ko toheen ho gi
 
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Chutiyadr

Chutiyadr

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Damha said:
TITLE - MITTI KI KHUSHBU

WRITER - Chutiyadr


Plot bohat he umda tha sach me foji jahan ka bhi ho apni mitti se sab ko Pyar hota hai main ek Army officer hu mujhe pata hai is chee, ka jazba ek fouji ki mehnat sab ka mujhe andaza hai ek ek cheez ap ne bohat ache tarike se dikhai I proud to read this story ap sach me ek ache lekhak ho sir ap ka naam ap ko dusri story per suit karta hai but yahan ap ka ye naam Lena ap ko toheen ho gi
Click to expand...
bahut bahut dhanywad ahmad bhai...aapne meri story pasand ki mujhe bahut hi khusi hui ye jankar ...
aur is jasbat ko ek army wale se jyda aur kon samjh sakta hai...:)
bahut bahut sukriya aapna is review ke liye :thanks:
 
Chutiyadr

Chutiyadr

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REVIEW

STORY - DOSTI , PYAR AUR JINDEGI


WRITER- Rbcl.007

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-4#post-728788

PLOT – “EK LADKA AUR EK LADKI KABHI DOST NAHI HOTE”

Maine pyar kiya me mohnish bahal ka ye dialog aaj bhi famous hai ,lekin isi film ke end hote tak film walo ne ise hame manwa bhi kar diya ki mohnish bahal sahi tha..

Bollywood masala filmo ne is bat ko aur bhi jyda badha diya ,aur sath hi samaj me logo ne ise reality bhi bana di ,log pyar ki shuruwat hi dosti se karte hai ,chalo thik hai lekin ager do dost agaer dost hi hai to bhi is chij ki ijjat karni chahiye…

Hamara samaj asal me confusion me ji raha hai use payr aur dosti ke bich ka confusion hi nahi pata hota,aur yahi chij yuwao ko preshan karti rahti hai ,isliye acid attak jaisi ghatnaye janm leti hai kyoki ladko ko samjh hi nahi aata ki asal me ladki ke dil me unke liye kuch nhi hai ,aur unhe bhi naa bolne ka hak hai …ladko ko bas ye lagta hai ki ager ladki usse bat bhi karti hai to usse payr karti hai …..

Khair mamlaa ab badalne laga hai ,realistic cinema aur web series ka dour hai aur ab ladka aur ladki dost bhi hote hai ,to mind set me dheere dheere hi sahi change dekhne ko mil rha hai …:approve:

Ab story par aaye to plot bahut hi achha choose kiya hai jo samny love story se is story ko alag banati hai,last tak writer ne apne theam ko bhatkne nhi diya,ho sakta tha ki last me vikas aur sonali ke bich pyar dikha diya jata ,lekin writer ne is chij ko maintain kiya ye mujhe sabse jyada achcha laga …

Naraation achcha tha ek flow me story chalti hai aur end tak involve hi rakhti hai …

NOTE FOR WRITER – rbcl bro sabse pahle to is unchhuye se topic par bat karne ke liye aapka dhanywad ,story aapne bahut achchi likhi aur plot aapne hatkar chuna ye apke story ko khas bana deta hai ..:superb:

Best of luck for contest….
 
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Geralt of Rivia

Geralt of Rivia

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Review of 'Golden eagle' by Werewolf

This is sci-fi adventure story set in year 2060. An strange doctor Dr. X has invented few medicine which can give a human superpower. There are ten pills named after each color and each pill contains a superpower. But doc is not allowed to test it on humans so he use few orphans. Main character is UA in this story I dont know it is allowed or not. Few things are not explained in this story, like what was in 10th pill. (I guess that pill had all the superpowers of other 9 pills.) And was Jonathan relative of the boy? Why did Jonathan's eye tear up when he saw the boy's tattoo?
This is story is indeed an interesting story but it look more like a 'prequel' (or beginning of any long story) than a complete story. All the best for contest.
 
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The Immortal

The Immortal

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Review for - GOLDEN EAGLE
By Werewolf

First of all thank you for this lovely story:dost:
Story is based on sci-fi genre , it's start on 2060 where a dr called Dr X. And his experiment on evolving human with his created pills . Plot is good :thumbup:
Narration and description is great , I read it in one go :thumbup:.
Writer have some great sense , the way he described the name of the pills and abilities of pills is great .
I enjoyed the whole story with open ending.
But somethings needed to explain like what was in 10th pills , why Johnathan got tears when he saw boy's tattoo.
Like AG Bhai said it looks like A "prequel" like an "update" and whole story is yet to come .
Well I enjoyed this lovely story.
Thanks for posting a story like this :dost:
Best of luck for contest :thumbup:
 
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The Immortal

The Immortal

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Mak said:
AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)
By: The Immortal
_________________________

Wow! That's an interesting read. The best thing is fluency in the story. I mean I have read it in one go, that shows how the flow of the story is. Brilliant. Plot bhi achha socha hai, and presentation bhi kafi achha tha.

Immo, Kahani me koi kami nahi hai. but, as a reader mujhe laga tumne sare patte ek saath hi khol diye, I mean isko aur behtareen thriller bana sakte the. Thoda sa conversations mein kya chupana hai or kya bachana hai uspar kaam kar sakte ho.. Is se end mein thoda shocking element milega, that's best part of thriller story.

Very lovely read and in my opinion this should be in top 3. Brilliant effort.

(Collage and College are different words, Collage means a collection of pictures or artwork. :slap: )

Best of Luck. :love:
_________________________
Click to expand...
Mak Bhai Ka review :vhappy:
First of all thank you for your wonderful review :dost:
Mak Bhai apke Jaise experience member se aisa review milna bohat mayne rakhta hai mere liye. Mujhe khusi hui ki apko meri peshkas Pasand aayi.
Next time Mai dhyan rahunga Jo points Apne mentioned Kiye hai unpe work Karu aur spelling mistakes dubara na ho.
Once again thank you for your wonderful review :hug:
 
Werewolf

Werewolf

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ag86 said:
Review of 'Golden eagle' by Werewolf

This is sci-fi adventure story set in year 2060. An strange doctor Dr. X has invented few medicine which can give a human superpower. There are ten pills named after each color and each pill contains a superpower. But doc is not allowed to test it on humans so he use few orphans. Main character is UA in this story I dont know it is allowed or not. Few things are not explained in this story, like what was in 10th pill. (I guess that pill had all the superpowers of other 9 pills.) And was Jonathan relative of the boy? Why did Jonathan's eye tear up when he saw the boy's tattoo?
This is story is indeed an interesting story but it look more like a 'prequel' (or beginning of any long story) than a complete story. All the best for contest.
Click to expand...

The Immortal said:
Review for - GOLDEN EAGLE
By Werewolf

First of all thank you for this lovely story:dost:
Story is based on sci-fi genre , it's start on 2060 where a dr called Dr X. And his experiment on evolving human with his created pills . Plot is good :thumbup:
Narration and description is great , I read it in one go :thumbup:.
Writer have some great sense , the way he described the name of the pills and abilities of pills is great .
I enjoyed the whole story with open ending.
But somethings needed to explain like what was in 10th pills , why Johnathan got tears when he saw boy's tattoo.
Like AG Bhai said it looks like A "prequel" like an "update" and whole story is yet to come .
Well I enjoyed this lovely story.
Thanks for posting a story like this :dost:
Best of luck for contest :thumbup:
Click to expand...
Sabse pehle bohut bohut shukriya review ke liye. Aur aap sahi ho, jii haa ye meri ek lambi story ka chota sa part hai jo mene casi bhai ki request par create kiya tha contest ke liye kyuki uss waqt mere paas English story ke liye idea nahi tha. That's why I just simply translated one of my long story into a smaller summary. Ye poori kahaani nahi hai, aap aisa keh sakte hai ki yeh kahani ki shuruwaat thi.
Haha! Anyways! Thanks for reading the story!
 
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Werewolf

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kamdev99008 said:
GOLDEN EAGLE
English
Lone_wolf
ha ha ha ........... funny closure of a serious sci-fi adventure............ you are really a genius...........
you created a suspense, thrill and curiosity by narrating a sci-fi fantasy and at last.......washed out everything.......all clear :D

7 points out of 10
Click to expand...
Shukriya bro...
Aap ne kahani padhi aur aapko pasand aayi bas yahi kaafi hai.
Thanks once again!
 
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