★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Naina]

Story = Jehad(ek insan ki kahani)
Writer = DiNu DraCula
kaafi bhavuk aur arthpurn kahani thi...
bure logo ke sangat mein fanshne ke baad bhi apne jameer aur insaaniyat ke chalte naa kebal ush daldal se bahar nikala balki bure logo khilaf jung ched kar un bure logo ko unke anjam tak bhi pahuncha diya aur ushe yeh ehsaas ho gaya ki maarne wale se zyada bachane wale bada hota hai, burayi kitni hi badi kyun na ho sachhai ke aage hamesha chhoti hi rahti hai.. inhi mahattvapoorn baaton ko writer sahab ne kahani jariye darshaya hai... Joh kabile tarif hai... kahani bahot dilachasp thi..
DiNu DraCula ji Brilliant story line with awesome writing skill

 

[Naina]

Story = " फक्त एक ख्वाहिश"
Writer = fountain_pen

Kahani kaafi dilachasp kahani thi...
Kahani ke pramukh kirdaar samar ko dekh aisa lage ki bina kisi dosh ke hi uspe lanchan lagaya jata hai.. lage ki pure kahani mein uske sath anyaay kiya gaya hon..waise kuch chizon pe bas nahin chalti.. .Khair bas ish baat ki tassali mili ki samar ko uski mann pasand jivan sangini aparijita mil gayi jishe woh jaan se zyada pyar karta hai ... uski khwahish puri huyi...
fountain_pen ji Brilliant story line with awesome writing skill ..

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story:- Fake Feminism

Writer:- Akki ❸❸❸

A story on serious topic written in funny way.

Story to bahut pehle padh chuka tha...But review aaj de raha hun.

Story mein aapne dikhaya ki kaise aaj log apna adhikar ka durupayog karte hai...Aise hi na jaane log apna galat kaam karte hai aise adhikaar ke aad mein...Fake Feminism yaa koi bhi propaganda ho...Pehle galat karo aur fir victim card khel kar khud ko hi sahi dikhaao aur humdardi bbhi bator lo.

Aise hi logon ki vajah se aaj kal koi sharif logon par bhi shak hota hai aur aise maanashikta wale log bach nikalte hai.


Abb aate hai story par...Comedy part accha tha...Aur serious part ka ye line.

इंस्पेक्टर- साले, घणा स्याणा बना हैं |


और इंस्पेक्टर तनुज को सूतने लगता हैं |

Gusse mein bhi hassi aa gaya.


Ye to tha positive part...Abb aata hun kuch constructive part ki taraf.

Iss baar bhi wohi shikayat hai aapke 1st story ke jaisa hi...Story ka length aur jyada ho sakta tha...Story ka plot aur buildup jaisa tha usko aap aur bhi kayi possibility ke saath aage badha sakte the aur story aur bhi interesting hota.

Kul mila kar story padh ke bahut accha laga.

All the best for contest.

 

[Naina]

Story = भूख
Writer = PARADOX
Bahot hi bhavuk kahani thi... ghamand mein choor kuch log jinke zameer mar chuke hai, kaise kamjor, masoom logo ke upar atyachar chalte hai ushi ke aadhar pe yeh kahani thi
chahe garib hi sahi par gairat mand hote hai... mehnat karke do waqt ki roti kamake ke khate hai .. kam se kam dusro ke aage hath toh nahi failate...inke paas ek ijjat hi to hoti hai... lekin sayad samaaj ke kuch thekedaro ko yeh bhi raas na aate... joh apne khokhli dabanggayee dikhake inke ijjat ko tad taad karne mein koi kami nahin chhodegi hai apne vasna ke chalte... jaise us lala ne munni ki maa ya phir bechari us munni sath kiya... aur jane kitno ki jindagi tabah kar diya hai ushki hisaab kya kisike paas hai..garib bas lasari ko dekhte rah jate.. aise logo ke liye garibo ki asnshu koi mol nahi hai.. garib ka khoon pani yahin soch rakhte hai lala jaise log... jab tak ghar mein rahi, apne hi ghar mein kaidi ki jivan bitayi.. shaadi ke baad thodi joh khushi mili wo bhi na dekha gaya kisiko... basro baad munni bas apne pita se hi toh milne aayi thi.... kya yahin kusur hai uski.. jiske chalte woh lala k hawas ka shikar bani...
kahani ki ant mein munni ne joh shikayat ki upor wale se ki kabhi bhuk na de.. shayad iska matlab yahin tha pyar ki ho ya hawash ki ho ya jishm ki ho ya chahe pait ki bhukh ho kabhi kisi insaan ko na de.... jiske chalte aaj uski yeh haalat huyi hai... shayad ishi bhukh ko writer sahab darshaya hai kahani ke madhyam se... Writer sahab kahani ke jariye kahani ke naam ko sarthak kar diya hai.... narrations aur language ki pakad kaafi majbut thi aur flow bhi kaafi achhi thi...
PARADOX ji Brilliant story line with awesome writing skill ....

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

Story:- Fake Feminism

Writer:- Akki ❸❸❸

A story on serious topic written in funny way.

Story to bahut pehle padh chuka tha...But review aaj de raha hun.

Story mein aapne dikhaya ki kaise aaj log apna adhikar ka durupayog karte hai...Aise hi na jaane log apna galat kaam karte hai aise adhikaar ke aad mein...Fake Feminism yaa koi bhi propaganda ho...Pehle galat karo aur fir victim card khel kar khud ko hi sahi dikhaao aur humdardi bbhi bator lo.

Aise hi logon ki vajah se aaj kal koi sharif logon par bhi shak hota hai aur aise maanashikta wale log bach nikalte hai.


Abb aate hai story par...Comedy part accha tha...Aur serious part ka ye line.



Gusse mein bhi hassi aa gaya.


Ye to tha positive part...Abb aata hun kuch constructive part ki taraf.

Iss baar bhi wohi shikayat hai aapke 1st story ke jaisa hi...Story ka length aur jyada ho sakta tha...Story ka plot aur buildup jaisa tha usko aap aur bhi kayi possibility ke saath aage badha sakte the aur story aur bhi interesting hota.

Kul mila kar story padh ke bahut accha laga.

All the best for contest.

Champ bhai apka review mila to kahani safal hui

Vese ye disqualified h ?

BTW thanks champ bhai ji for ur valuable review

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Story:- खोया हुआ प्यार

Writer:- Deadpool_

Title se to story romantic laga...Aur kuch paragraph padhne ke baad bhi story romantic hi tha but incest genre bhi touch kar gaya.

Incest reader naa hone ki vajah se story utna enjoy to nahi kar paaya.

Abb aate hai story par...Best part story ka narration laga...Ek hi flow mein story aage badhta raha.. Aur aapne emotion bhibacche se dikhaya especially Amit ka...Uska pyar, uska jalan aur uska gham bhi.

Kaise usko apne pyaar ka ehsaas hua aur uske baad ka wo reaction jo ki logical bhi tha...Naa bataa paa raha tha aur naa hi ishara...Bas khud mein hi ghut raha tha...Aise mein uska dono se dur jaana hi sahi tha apne jindagi ko nayi tarah ae suruwaat karna.

Ek love story mein aapne pyaar ki feelings ko acche se dikhaya.

Haan agar aap Amit ke Australia ke jaane ke baad uska emotions ko aur explain karte to shayad aur accha rehta...Aur ending thoda aur detailed ho sakta tha.

Overall, story accha laga padh kar on basis of romantic theme.

All the best for contest.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Champ bhai apka review mila to kahani safal hui

Vese ye disqualified h ?

BTW thanks champ bhai ji for ur valuable review

Haan...Around 700 words ke story hai...Aur qualification ke liye 800 ki jarurat tha.

 

[Akki ❸❸❸]

Haan...Around 700 words ke story hai...Aur qualification ke liye 800 ki jarurat tha.

Koi baat nahi

Lagta h aj stories ke review pe nikle hai

Best of luck for best reader award

 

[Naina]

Story = Dil Ki Tarap
Writer = Lucky lerka

Pyar, mohabbat, tyag, dhokha, daya dikhana, maaf kar dena... ishi ke adhar par kahani prastut ki gayi thi... Agar spelling mistakes nahi karte aur ek chiz writer sahab ne kahani ke kirdaaro ka naam likh dete toh samajhne mein asani hoti...
. waise Lucky lerka ji aapne itni mehnat se humare manoranjan ke liye story likh rahe hai uske liye ek salam....

 

[Damha]

Story:- Nauk rani


Writer:- xxxsimplewriterxxx


Review:- Good try bhayia ji ap ne bohat achi koshis ki lekin agar ap iss story ko ss me post karte to sahi rehta Ek Malik aur naukrani ke beech sex ke kahani Kaise ek Malik aur naukrani ke beech kamvasna ka risshta bana Best of luck for contest