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Fantasy Saurya - ek youdha (Completed)

Kya mujhe mere likhne ka tarika change karna chahiye

  • nahi aise hi sahi hai

    Votes: 130 91.5%
  • haa (to comment kr mujhe advice d)

    Votes: 12 8.5%

  • Total voters
    142

Ristrcted

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds
Staff member
Moderator
41,561
36,848
304
Hi friend maine xforum pr kafi stories padi hai aur ab mai bhi apni ek story post karne ja raha hu ab jyada wakt na lete huye
story p chalte h jaise jaise log milte rahenge unke bare m batata jaunga .
so lets go


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Last edited:

Killerpanditji(pandit)

Well-Known Member
10,269
38,685
258
UPDATE - 92

Ab tak

Saurya Jinlok mein tha waha ki problem solve ho chuki thi...Wahi koi portal se aa jata hai waha jisko dekkh sab acchambhit ho jaate hai..

Aage

Jo aaya tha wo koi aur nahi Dristi thi.....iska kuch pata nahi chal raha kabhi bhi kahi bhi pahuch jaa rahi hai ye...

Dristi portal se udte hue bahar aayi aur sheeda meri goad mein aa gayi...aur roone lagi...jisko dekh sabhi hairaan ho gaye.....ek to itni choti bacchi portal se aayi wo bhi udte hue...

Abhi main kuch kahta yaa karta usse pahle

Shilpa- Ye kon hai aur yaha aise....

Maine sabhi ko jaane ke liye bol diya aur Dristi ko goad mein liye hue shinghsan se utha aur room ki taraf jaane laga...

Wahi meri raniyan mere picche aaane lagi hum hamare kamre mein pahuche...Dristi abhi tak rooye jaa rahi thi aur meri samjh mein nahi aa raha tha kyun....

Shilpa ne usko mere goad se cheen liya aur usko chup karane lagi wahi baaki sab bhi usko chup karane lage...

Main kuch bolta usse pahle ek aur Portal khula jisme se Niharika, Varsha aur Alex bahar nikle...

Alex aur Niharika has rahe the wahi Varsha wo gusse mein thi....

Iss baar bhi mere kuch bolne se pahle Varsha bol padi...

Varsha- Wo Drist....to yaha hai tu...nahana to padega hi tujhe chahe tu kuch bhi kar le...

Ab yaha pe ek baat clear kar deta hu Varsha aur Niharika sabko jaante hai yaha par magar meri raniyan wo nahi jaanti inn dono ko abhi tak....

Puja- Ye bacchi aapki hai....badi hi pyari bacchi hai...par ye yaha....

Varsha- isko nahlane ke liye pani garam kar rahi thi aur jab wapas aayi to ye gayab thi...nahana nahi chahti hogi pahle bhi aise hi karti thi(pahle bhi se matlab future mein)

TAbhi Sabki nazar Alex par padti hai...

Shilpa- Alex tum bhi yaha ho...

Alex- hmm Malika wo main apni bacchi ko lene aaya tha...

Paridhi- Bacchi?? Tumhari....par....

Ab wo kuch aur bolti usse pahle hi unn pancho ke haath Dristi ke sar pe chale gaye aur unn sab ki aankhen band ho gayi...ab unko kuch dikha rahi hogi Dristi...

Niharika- VArsha ab to time lagega tum yahi rukko main jaati hu sunna hai aaj kal Vetallok mein koi planning chal rahi hai unko pata chal gaya hai naa Mohini ke wapas aane ka...

Main- Accha to unko pata chal gaya hai tab to hame jaldi hi......

Niharika- Hamme nahi Mohini ko ye usko hi karne do taaki wo Vetalrani ban sakke main bhi bas waha mnazar rakh rahi hu...

Main- hmm thik hai...

Niharika wapas chali jaati hai..wahi main Alex aur Varsha waha khade rahte hai...

Main- Accha Alex main yaha kuch dhundhne aaya hu kya tum meri madad karoge....aaaaahhhhhh

Maine ye bola hi tha ki mere sar mein dard hone laga....pata nahi ab ye kya tha....

Kappa- Dristi nahi chahti tum abhi wo sab nikalo uska waqt nahi aaya hai abhi...

Main- Kya bol raho ho...

Kappa- sach bol raha hu.....abhi tujhe tere kisi bhi chiz ki jarurat nahi hai...abhi tujhe Earth ka kaam sambhalna hai...tujhe pata bhi hai tere MOhit mamu ne kitne call kiye hai tujhe.....

Main- Kya call p....oo yaha pe thodi naa network hota hai yaar main bhi...

Kappa- wo tumhe jaruri kaam ke liye bulla rahe hai Saurya abhi yaha se chalo warna pata nahi kya ho jaaye agle pal....

Main- Hmm ab yaha ka kaam nahi karna to wahi jaana padega naa (Alex se) tum yahi raho....

Maine portal khola aur usse shedha Earth pe aa gaya aate hi mere phone pe misscall ke notifications aane lage...

Maine jaldi se Mamu ko call kiya...

Main- Haa Mamu bolo..

Mohit- Pahle to ye batta tu tha kaha kab se call kar raha hu....

Main- wo thoda bahar chala gaya tha waha network nahi thi to call nahi lag raha hoga...aap batao naa kyun pareshan ho rahe ho...

Mohit- Arre teri Nani mere yaha shift hone wali hai Hospital se nikalte hi mre pass aa rahi hai mujhe kuch samjh nahi aa raha...

Main- Isme samajhna kya hai aapko unko bas ahsas dilate rahna hai ki unhone galat kiya hai meri Maa ke saath meri Mom ke saath...unko taane maarte raho...

Mohit- tu karna kya chahta hai meri kuch samjh nahi aa raha hai...

Main - Aap samajh jaaoge Mamu bas jaisa kah raha hu karte jaao...

Mohit- thik hai....

Call cut

Main- Kappa main kuch soch raha tha....

Kappa - hmm bolo main sun raha hu....

Main- mujhe lagta hai hame ek baar Maarcuss ko dekhne jaana chahiye...

Kappa - Hmm ye sahi hai...aur ek baat iss Alex aur Varsha ko bolo taiyaar hone Jwala ko bhi laane jaana hai...bhul gaye kya...

Main- Arre nahi yaar par tu khud dekh ....abhi kaise kahu....

Kappa- Kahna to padega hi dost....

MAin- Hmm dekhta hu wo bhi....Waise Ab Nana ko fasana hai mujhe aur uske liye bade Nanu se milna hoga hame Gaon jaana hoga uss Shrapit gaon mein....

KAppa- haa to kab chal rahe hai....

Main- abhi kuch din thahar kar....Yaar maine socha tha aaj sab kuch haasil kar lunga aur fir Maarcuss ko khatam kar dunga...

Kappa- Pata hai aur saayad issi wajah se Dristi tumhe rookne aa gayi...hame sab kuch soch kar karna hoga samjhe hum har baar galti nahi kar sakte...mere hisab se pahle apni Raniyon ko thik karo unki takat itni badha do ki koi unka saamna naa kar paaye phir ye sab sochna kyun ki unko bhi tumhare saath yudh mein bhag to lena hi hai aur agar wo kamzoor hui to tum....samjh rahe hona...

MAin- Hmm samajh raha hu to agla padav hamara Vetal lok hai....

Kappa- Hmm ab aayi baat samajh mein teri....accha ye Puja aur Priya inka kya...

Main- Ye dono koi aam log to hai nahi ye dono hi mysterious planet ki Rajkumari hai dono aur waha ki shaktiyon pe agar inn dono ne puri tarah kaabu paa liya to puccho mat kya hoga...

Kappa- Hmm to unki bhi taiyaari karani hogi...

Main- Hmm accha to hum kal chalte hai Vetal lok waha ka game khatam karte hai fir waha se yaha aa kar Gaon chalenge waha se sabko yaha ke baare mein batana hai jisse Dadaji aur Nanaji dono hi out ho jaayenge...

Kappa- Thik hai jaisa tum kaho....

MAin- Haa aur fir ek baar iss Maarcuss se bhi milne chalenge....

Kappa- hmm thik hai...


Aaj ke liye itna hi aage dekhte hai kya kya dikhaya hai Dristi ne sabko aur saath hi Adventure of Vetallok bhi....aur bhi kuch events to baane rahiye...

Jaanta hu chota update hai par light ke aane jaane ki wajah se itna hi likh paya...agala update raat ko deta hu wo lamba hoga
Zabardast update dost
 

Vickey1211

Well-Known Member
7,541
16,030
188
UPDATE - 92

Ab tak

Saurya Jinlok mein tha waha ki problem solve ho chuki thi...Wahi koi portal se aa jata hai waha jisko dekkh sab acchambhit ho jaate hai..

Aage

Jo aaya tha wo koi aur nahi Dristi thi.....iska kuch pata nahi chal raha kabhi bhi kahi bhi pahuch jaa rahi hai ye...

Dristi portal se udte hue bahar aayi aur sheeda meri goad mein aa gayi...aur roone lagi...jisko dekh sabhi hairaan ho gaye.....ek to itni choti bacchi portal se aayi wo bhi udte hue...

Abhi main kuch kahta yaa karta usse pahle

Shilpa- Ye kon hai aur yaha aise....

Maine sabhi ko jaane ke liye bol diya aur Dristi ko goad mein liye hue shinghsan se utha aur room ki taraf jaane laga...

Wahi meri raniyan mere picche aaane lagi hum hamare kamre mein pahuche...Dristi abhi tak rooye jaa rahi thi aur meri samjh mein nahi aa raha tha kyun....

Shilpa ne usko mere goad se cheen liya aur usko chup karane lagi wahi baaki sab bhi usko chup karane lage...

Main kuch bolta usse pahle ek aur Portal khula jisme se Niharika, Varsha aur Alex bahar nikle...

Alex aur Niharika has rahe the wahi Varsha wo gusse mein thi....

Iss baar bhi mere kuch bolne se pahle Varsha bol padi...

Varsha- Wo Drist....to yaha hai tu...nahana to padega hi tujhe chahe tu kuch bhi kar le...

Ab yaha pe ek baat clear kar deta hu Varsha aur Niharika sabko jaante hai yaha par magar meri raniyan wo nahi jaanti inn dono ko abhi tak....

Puja- Ye bacchi aapki hai....badi hi pyari bacchi hai...par ye yaha....

Varsha- isko nahlane ke liye pani garam kar rahi thi aur jab wapas aayi to ye gayab thi...nahana nahi chahti hogi pahle bhi aise hi karti thi(pahle bhi se matlab future mein)

TAbhi Sabki nazar Alex par padti hai...

Shilpa- Alex tum bhi yaha ho...

Alex- hmm Malika wo main apni bacchi ko lene aaya tha...

Paridhi- Bacchi?? Tumhari....par....

Ab wo kuch aur bolti usse pahle hi unn pancho ke haath Dristi ke sar pe chale gaye aur unn sab ki aankhen band ho gayi...ab unko kuch dikha rahi hogi Dristi...

Niharika- VArsha ab to time lagega tum yahi rukko main jaati hu sunna hai aaj kal Vetallok mein koi planning chal rahi hai unko pata chal gaya hai naa Mohini ke wapas aane ka...

Main- Accha to unko pata chal gaya hai tab to hame jaldi hi......

Niharika- Hamme nahi Mohini ko ye usko hi karne do taaki wo Vetalrani ban sakke main bhi bas waha mnazar rakh rahi hu...

Main- hmm thik hai...

Niharika wapas chali jaati hai..wahi main Alex aur Varsha waha khade rahte hai...

Main- Accha Alex main yaha kuch dhundhne aaya hu kya tum meri madad karoge....aaaaahhhhhh

Maine ye bola hi tha ki mere sar mein dard hone laga....pata nahi ab ye kya tha....

Kappa- Dristi nahi chahti tum abhi wo sab nikalo uska waqt nahi aaya hai abhi...

Main- Kya bol raho ho...

Kappa- sach bol raha hu.....abhi tujhe tere kisi bhi chiz ki jarurat nahi hai...abhi tujhe Earth ka kaam sambhalna hai...tujhe pata bhi hai tere MOhit mamu ne kitne call kiye hai tujhe.....

Main- Kya call p....oo yaha pe thodi naa network hota hai yaar main bhi...

Kappa- wo tumhe jaruri kaam ke liye bulla rahe hai Saurya abhi yaha se chalo warna pata nahi kya ho jaaye agle pal....

Main- Hmm ab yaha ka kaam nahi karna to wahi jaana padega naa (Alex se) tum yahi raho....

Maine portal khola aur usse shedha Earth pe aa gaya aate hi mere phone pe misscall ke notifications aane lage...

Maine jaldi se Mamu ko call kiya...

Main- Haa Mamu bolo..

Mohit- Pahle to ye batta tu tha kaha kab se call kar raha hu....

Main- wo thoda bahar chala gaya tha waha network nahi thi to call nahi lag raha hoga...aap batao naa kyun pareshan ho rahe ho...

Mohit- Arre teri Nani mere yaha shift hone wali hai Hospital se nikalte hi mre pass aa rahi hai mujhe kuch samjh nahi aa raha...

Main- Isme samajhna kya hai aapko unko bas ahsas dilate rahna hai ki unhone galat kiya hai meri Maa ke saath meri Mom ke saath...unko taane maarte raho...

Mohit- tu karna kya chahta hai meri kuch samjh nahi aa raha hai...

Main - Aap samajh jaaoge Mamu bas jaisa kah raha hu karte jaao...

Mohit- thik hai....

Call cut

Main- Kappa main kuch soch raha tha....

Kappa - hmm bolo main sun raha hu....

Main- mujhe lagta hai hame ek baar Maarcuss ko dekhne jaana chahiye...

Kappa - Hmm ye sahi hai...aur ek baat iss Alex aur Varsha ko bolo taiyaar hone Jwala ko bhi laane jaana hai...bhul gaye kya...

Main- Arre nahi yaar par tu khud dekh ....abhi kaise kahu....

Kappa- Kahna to padega hi dost....

MAin- Hmm dekhta hu wo bhi....Waise Ab Nana ko fasana hai mujhe aur uske liye bade Nanu se milna hoga hame Gaon jaana hoga uss Shrapit gaon mein....

KAppa- haa to kab chal rahe hai....

Main- abhi kuch din thahar kar....Yaar maine socha tha aaj sab kuch haasil kar lunga aur fir Maarcuss ko khatam kar dunga...

Kappa- Pata hai aur saayad issi wajah se Dristi tumhe rookne aa gayi...hame sab kuch soch kar karna hoga samjhe hum har baar galti nahi kar sakte...mere hisab se pahle apni Raniyon ko thik karo unki takat itni badha do ki koi unka saamna naa kar paaye phir ye sab sochna kyun ki unko bhi tumhare saath yudh mein bhag to lena hi hai aur agar wo kamzoor hui to tum....samjh rahe hona...

MAin- Hmm samajh raha hu to agla padav hamara Vetal lok hai....

Kappa- Hmm ab aayi baat samajh mein teri....accha ye Puja aur Priya inka kya...

Main- Ye dono koi aam log to hai nahi ye dono hi mysterious planet ki Rajkumari hai dono aur waha ki shaktiyon pe agar inn dono ne puri tarah kaabu paa liya to puccho mat kya hoga...

Kappa- Hmm to unki bhi taiyaari karani hogi...

Main- Hmm accha to hum kal chalte hai Vetal lok waha ka game khatam karte hai fir waha se yaha aa kar Gaon chalenge waha se sabko yaha ke baare mein batana hai jisse Dadaji aur Nanaji dono hi out ho jaayenge...

Kappa- Thik hai jaisa tum kaho....

MAin- Haa aur fir ek baar iss Maarcuss se bhi milne chalenge....

Kappa- hmm thik hai...


Aaj ke liye itna hi aage dekhte hai kya kya dikhaya hai Dristi ne sabko aur saath hi Adventure of Vetallok bhi....aur bhi kuch events to baane rahiye...

Jaanta hu chota update hai par light ke aane jaane ki wajah se itna hi likh paya...agala update raat ko deta hu wo lamba hoga
Nice update h bhai
Maza aa gya
 

Nevil singh

Well-Known Member
21,150
53,000
173
UPDATE - 92

Ab tak

Saurya Jinlok mein tha waha ki problem solve ho chuki thi...Wahi koi portal se aa jata hai waha jisko dekkh sab acchambhit ho jaate hai..

Aage

Jo aaya tha wo koi aur nahi Dristi thi.....iska kuch pata nahi chal raha kabhi bhi kahi bhi pahuch jaa rahi hai ye...

Dristi portal se udte hue bahar aayi aur sheeda meri goad mein aa gayi...aur roone lagi...jisko dekh sabhi hairaan ho gaye.....ek to itni choti bacchi portal se aayi wo bhi udte hue...

Abhi main kuch kahta yaa karta usse pahle

Shilpa- Ye kon hai aur yaha aise....

Maine sabhi ko jaane ke liye bol diya aur Dristi ko goad mein liye hue shinghsan se utha aur room ki taraf jaane laga...

Wahi meri raniyan mere picche aaane lagi hum hamare kamre mein pahuche...Dristi abhi tak rooye jaa rahi thi aur meri samjh mein nahi aa raha tha kyun....

Shilpa ne usko mere goad se cheen liya aur usko chup karane lagi wahi baaki sab bhi usko chup karane lage...

Main kuch bolta usse pahle ek aur Portal khula jisme se Niharika, Varsha aur Alex bahar nikle...

Alex aur Niharika has rahe the wahi Varsha wo gusse mein thi....

Iss baar bhi mere kuch bolne se pahle Varsha bol padi...

Varsha- Wo Drist....to yaha hai tu...nahana to padega hi tujhe chahe tu kuch bhi kar le...

Ab yaha pe ek baat clear kar deta hu Varsha aur Niharika sabko jaante hai yaha par magar meri raniyan wo nahi jaanti inn dono ko abhi tak....

Puja- Ye bacchi aapki hai....badi hi pyari bacchi hai...par ye yaha....

Varsha- isko nahlane ke liye pani garam kar rahi thi aur jab wapas aayi to ye gayab thi...nahana nahi chahti hogi pahle bhi aise hi karti thi(pahle bhi se matlab future mein)

TAbhi Sabki nazar Alex par padti hai...

Shilpa- Alex tum bhi yaha ho...

Alex- hmm Malika wo main apni bacchi ko lene aaya tha...

Paridhi- Bacchi?? Tumhari....par....

Ab wo kuch aur bolti usse pahle hi unn pancho ke haath Dristi ke sar pe chale gaye aur unn sab ki aankhen band ho gayi...ab unko kuch dikha rahi hogi Dristi...

Niharika- VArsha ab to time lagega tum yahi rukko main jaati hu sunna hai aaj kal Vetallok mein koi planning chal rahi hai unko pata chal gaya hai naa Mohini ke wapas aane ka...

Main- Accha to unko pata chal gaya hai tab to hame jaldi hi......

Niharika- Hamme nahi Mohini ko ye usko hi karne do taaki wo Vetalrani ban sakke main bhi bas waha mnazar rakh rahi hu...

Main- hmm thik hai...

Niharika wapas chali jaati hai..wahi main Alex aur Varsha waha khade rahte hai...

Main- Accha Alex main yaha kuch dhundhne aaya hu kya tum meri madad karoge....aaaaahhhhhh

Maine ye bola hi tha ki mere sar mein dard hone laga....pata nahi ab ye kya tha....

Kappa- Dristi nahi chahti tum abhi wo sab nikalo uska waqt nahi aaya hai abhi...

Main- Kya bol raho ho...

Kappa- sach bol raha hu.....abhi tujhe tere kisi bhi chiz ki jarurat nahi hai...abhi tujhe Earth ka kaam sambhalna hai...tujhe pata bhi hai tere MOhit mamu ne kitne call kiye hai tujhe.....

Main- Kya call p....oo yaha pe thodi naa network hota hai yaar main bhi...

Kappa- wo tumhe jaruri kaam ke liye bulla rahe hai Saurya abhi yaha se chalo warna pata nahi kya ho jaaye agle pal....

Main- Hmm ab yaha ka kaam nahi karna to wahi jaana padega naa (Alex se) tum yahi raho....

Maine portal khola aur usse shedha Earth pe aa gaya aate hi mere phone pe misscall ke notifications aane lage...

Maine jaldi se Mamu ko call kiya...

Main- Haa Mamu bolo..

Mohit- Pahle to ye batta tu tha kaha kab se call kar raha hu....

Main- wo thoda bahar chala gaya tha waha network nahi thi to call nahi lag raha hoga...aap batao naa kyun pareshan ho rahe ho...

Mohit- Arre teri Nani mere yaha shift hone wali hai Hospital se nikalte hi mre pass aa rahi hai mujhe kuch samjh nahi aa raha...

Main- Isme samajhna kya hai aapko unko bas ahsas dilate rahna hai ki unhone galat kiya hai meri Maa ke saath meri Mom ke saath...unko taane maarte raho...

Mohit- tu karna kya chahta hai meri kuch samjh nahi aa raha hai...

Main - Aap samajh jaaoge Mamu bas jaisa kah raha hu karte jaao...

Mohit- thik hai....

Call cut

Main- Kappa main kuch soch raha tha....

Kappa - hmm bolo main sun raha hu....

Main- mujhe lagta hai hame ek baar Maarcuss ko dekhne jaana chahiye...

Kappa - Hmm ye sahi hai...aur ek baat iss Alex aur Varsha ko bolo taiyaar hone Jwala ko bhi laane jaana hai...bhul gaye kya...

Main- Arre nahi yaar par tu khud dekh ....abhi kaise kahu....

Kappa- Kahna to padega hi dost....

MAin- Hmm dekhta hu wo bhi....Waise Ab Nana ko fasana hai mujhe aur uske liye bade Nanu se milna hoga hame Gaon jaana hoga uss Shrapit gaon mein....

KAppa- haa to kab chal rahe hai....

Main- abhi kuch din thahar kar....Yaar maine socha tha aaj sab kuch haasil kar lunga aur fir Maarcuss ko khatam kar dunga...

Kappa- Pata hai aur saayad issi wajah se Dristi tumhe rookne aa gayi...hame sab kuch soch kar karna hoga samjhe hum har baar galti nahi kar sakte...mere hisab se pahle apni Raniyon ko thik karo unki takat itni badha do ki koi unka saamna naa kar paaye phir ye sab sochna kyun ki unko bhi tumhare saath yudh mein bhag to lena hi hai aur agar wo kamzoor hui to tum....samjh rahe hona...

MAin- Hmm samajh raha hu to agla padav hamara Vetal lok hai....

Kappa- Hmm ab aayi baat samajh mein teri....accha ye Puja aur Priya inka kya...

Main- Ye dono koi aam log to hai nahi ye dono hi mysterious planet ki Rajkumari hai dono aur waha ki shaktiyon pe agar inn dono ne puri tarah kaabu paa liya to puccho mat kya hoga...

Kappa- Hmm to unki bhi taiyaari karani hogi...

Main- Hmm accha to hum kal chalte hai Vetal lok waha ka game khatam karte hai fir waha se yaha aa kar Gaon chalenge waha se sabko yaha ke baare mein batana hai jisse Dadaji aur Nanaji dono hi out ho jaayenge...

Kappa- Thik hai jaisa tum kaho....

MAin- Haa aur fir ek baar iss Maarcuss se bhi milne chalenge....

Kappa- hmm thik hai...


Aaj ke liye itna hi aage dekhte hai kya kya dikhaya hai Dristi ne sabko aur saath hi Adventure of Vetallok bhi....aur bhi kuch events to baane rahiye...

Jaanta hu chota update hai par light ke aane jaane ki wajah se itna hi likh paya...agala update raat ko deta hu wo lamba hoga
Surya bhai ko ushki cheejo ko lene se rokne ke liye Drishti aa jati hai jinn loke aur ushe roke deti hai jishe kappa samajh jata hai aur surya ko abhi woqt nahi aane ke baat kahta hai.Idher Niharika M vetalloke ki samsaya ke liye Mohini ko bolne ke liye kahti hai. Bahut khubsurat update hai dost.
 
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