Fuck yaar ek ke baad ek surprises maa chod diye bhaiya ji apne to literally broUpdate-387(The Evil Returns) 387
Humlog Chang k hotel se nikale and waapis haweli k liye nikale...
Abeer-Bhai thoda dhyaan rakhna please haan.. Kissi ko shakk naa ho tera..
Main-Dont worry be.. Bola toh main normal he hun..
Abeer-Good.. Mera bhai kabtak waapis aaega??
Main-Bhosdk main tera bhai he hun bawligand banda dusara thodi hai..
Abeer-Tu dusara banda he hai.. Bhai he hai tu bhi but mera bhai wahi hai..
Main-Hatt bawligand.. Pakka matt.. Tum dono he ho jinhe main passand nahi hun..
Ami-Naa.. Aisa kuch nahi hai ki tum naapasand ho humein not at all bus ye hai 1.0 humein bahot jyaada passand hai... Tum pasand kyun nahi hoge?? Saikdon hajaaron baar humaari jaan bacha chuke ho tum .. Bus 1.0 k pass woh emotions hain woh care hai.. He is more likeable..
Abeer-I agree.. Passand toh Tu bhi hai he headquarters mein tere sath he toh tha main wahaan 1.0 thodi tha but 1.0 ki baat he alag hai ...Or tujhse darr laga rehta hai bhai kya pata kab bhenchod dimag fir jaaye tera..
Main-True darr hona bhi caahiye..
Abeer-Dekh bc.. Aise daraata rehta hai tu.. Issliye Tu mera second favorite version hai..
Main-Second toh aaya bc..
Abeer-Ofcourse be second toh aaega he.. Considering 3.0 .. Bhenchod woh mera bhai waai nahi hai.. Fuck that guy.. Woh toh bhenchod kuch alag he hai.. Tujmein AP ki jhalak toh hai usme kuch bhi na hai... Woh.. Woh.. Kya he cheej hai..
Main-Frankly speaking mujhe khud nahi pata woh kya he cheej haibe..
Ami-Ye orr daraawna hai tum, the great MOD jisse sab pata hai usse 3.0 ka kuch nahi pata.. Kya he hoga woh..
Abeer-Jab bhi aaya hai gand faad deta hai sab kuch cheejon ki..
Ami- Arre even masters bhi darrtey hain usase toh... Fuck that guy.. Kab kahaan kaise kyun kya karta hai kissi ko nahi pata..
Main-Trur that..
Abeer-Tune bataaya naa be kab jaaega??
Main-Don't worry jaise he headquarters k issues solve kardunga main chala jaaunga fir tera favorite bhai aajaaega...
Abeer-Good.. Thanks bhai..
Ami-Kya plans par plans bana rahe they mujhe shakk ho he gaya tha ki aise thodi hota hai.. Itana fast dimag.. No way..
Main-Chup re..
Humlog haweli pohanchey wahaan as expected bhai ne behisaab tareef ki meri behisaab.. Karni bhi caahiye bc itana bada kand kardiya maine itani ladkiyon ko bachaaya india mein kabhi naa hua tha aisa kuch chaaro taraf mere or bhai k charche he they.... Also ek or positive point woh Reporter Archana tiwari k segment ki headlines change hogayi thi naa caahtey hue bhi meri tareef kar rahi thi woh... But end mein wahi baat ki usne ki " AP ne apne hospital jaane ka reason still nahi bataaya , baat taal di yaani again kuch toh chal raha hai uske sath " ..
Sudhregi nahi Lawdi..
Khair dinner kiya maine uske baad finally jaake so gaya main itane din baad finally badhiya nind aai mujhe.. I mean mujhe koi issue nahi tha nind kaa woh 1.0 kaa issue tha.. But itane din baad soke aanand aagaya..
Subah main late he utha and fresh wresh hoke ready hua and niche aaya.. Sab log apne apne kaam par jaa chuke they bus jaanwar Ami babhi Or Meenu bache they gharpe..
Main-Babhi breakfast...
Babhi-Aaj late kaise utha?? Itane din se kya badhiya early morning uth raha tha..
Main-Waise he thakk gaya tha..
Babhi-Ab ye hogaya toh College chala jaa Ab toh betu.. Padh wadh le thoda..
Main-College?? Kaahe?? College mein kya hai..
Babhi-Study?? Or kya hoga re college mein.. Thappad khaaega..
Main-Oh yeah..
Bhenchod ye college bhi jaata hai kya 1.0..fucking nerd..
Khair maine breakfast kiya and main nikala parking ki side toh Abeer Or Ami mere piche aaye..
Abeer-Kahaan be??
Main-Hospital be..
Abeer-Wahaan kya karega!?
Main-Lund.. Mera session chal raha hai wahaan Psychiatrists k sath yaad haina??
Abeer-Chutiye tera nahi 1.0 ka session chal raha hai.. Or Bhai awaaj sunaney waali problem toh solve he hogayi Tu he tha problem toh ab wahaan kya karega..
Main-Abe chutiye aise ekdum se bandh kar dunga toh hajaar sawaal karenge gharwaale bhi or woh doctors bhi.. Rukk jaa thoda..
Abeer-True.. Good thinking..
Ami-Yeah.. Chalo boss..
Main-Tu kidhar??
Ami-Well main security k liye 1.0 k sath he jaati thi toh tumhare sath bhi..
Main-Thappad maardunga aisi bakchodi karegi toh mujhse.. Main akela he jaaunga..
Main gaadi mein aaya . . BC meri juth pakkad lenge??? Halwa thodi hai bhenchod.. 1.0 samjha hai kya?? Arrey kahaan 1.0 toh maha bawaligand hai.. 2.0 samjha hai kya bhenchod mujhe jo pakkad loge..
Maine khudse hanste hue kahaa.. Khair main hospital pohancha ek gaadi thi media waalon ki mere piche ,bolo ab ye picha karenge mera.. Hahahaha.. Funny..
Khair main hospital pohancha and seedha Rashi k cabin mein aaya.. Ruhi Or Rashi dono wahaan mojjud they..
Ruhi-Oho ho.. Look who is here.. national Hero aaye hain..
Main-Hehehe..
Ruhi-We are so so so proud of you AP..
Rashi-Yep.. Bahot bada kaam kiya hai tumne.. Great job.. Kitani masoom ladkiyon ki jaan bachaai tumne..
Main-Thanks guys thanks..
Rashi-So kaisa laga feild mein uttar ke..??
Main-Maine bus plan banaaya to be honest....
Rashi-Ok..
Ruhi-So aaj ka session suru kartey hain..
Main-Ok .. Wait.. So aaj kuch weird questions hain mere pass and mujhe caahiye answers..
Ruhi-Ok we are ready..
Main-Naa.. Darling Tu nahi.. Tu meri family hai or tere samne mujhe bataane mein sharam aarahi hai.. Toh tu chutti lele aajki.. Main Rashi se baat karta hun..
Ruhi-(Hanste hue) Aisa kya puchega re.. Lol.. Ok Rashi take care..tu sambhaal...
Ye bolke Ruhi room se chali gayi maine uthke room ka gate bandh kiya and Rashi k pass baitha..
Rashi-Ok.. What's going on?? Ghurr kyun rahe ho?? AP??
Main-Naa.. Naa.. AP is long gone.. Sorry.. So rude of me introduction nahi diya jo..
Rashi-What?? You ok??
Main-Tumhe shakk tha naa ki meri multiple personalities hain?? Right??
Rashi-Yeah..
Main-Toh...
Rashi-Oh my god.. I knew it. I Fucking knew it.. Mujhe pakka vishwaash tha ki tumhari multiple personalities hain i knew it..Toh tum ho woh second personality..
Main-No.. Noo.. No... Technically I am the Third One.... Let me introduce my self.. They Call Me 3.0...
Continued..
UUpdate-382(Saved Her) 382
Ab Patrick ka game over ho chuka tha or ab time tha uska game sachmein over karne ka..
Main-Toh Patrick babu?? Chalein fir??
Patrick-Come on kill me..
Main-Main nahi. Naa naa.. I hate violence.. Ye mera bhai haina jaanwar ye bahot gussa hai tujhse.. Ye dekhlega tujhe.. Abeer thokde..
Lekin tabhi Patrick ka phone baja maine uski jeb se phone nikaala toh "Vilas Bhai"likha aaraha tha..
Main-Oho ho tere maai baap ka phone hai..
Maine phone uthaaya.
Vilas-Is it done Vilas?? Train departed??
Main-Naa.. Naa train nahi nikali hai abhi driver chaaye paani peene gaya hai aatey he chalega..
Vilas-Who is this?? Patrick kahaan hai??
Main-Main!!? Bhosdk budhau mujhe nahi pehchanega ab Tu..
Vilas-AP?? You fucking coward.. Patrick kahaan hai!?
Main-Well sadly.. Patrick is about to die..
Vilas-Dont you fucking dare.. Don't touch him..
Main-Too late for that...
Vilas-I will kill you.. Suna tune.. Maardunga main tujhe.. Tujhe lagta hai ye game hai?? Jaa read about me.. Padh kon hun main... I am the black sheep of this shit... I am Vilas,40 years... 40 years.. Forty fucking years I've been doing this shit .. Play time over hogaya AP.. Main maardunga tujhe.. I will kill you I promise you that..
Main-Nm. Mujhe?? Mujhe kyun maarega Tu!? Why would you kill me???
Vilas-Stop playing games with me.. You'll die just remember this.
Main-But why ?? Mujhe kyun dhamki deraha hai tu??
Vilas-Keep fooling around.. Keep it up.. Jab tere andar meri goli jaaegi tab dekhte hain.. I will kill you bitch..
Main-But kyun?? Mujhe dhamki kyun deraha hai?? Mujhe dhamki dena is not good.. Not at all.. Naaa.. Naa.. Naa... Nopeeee..
Ye sunke usne call cut kardiya..
Main-Why is he threatening me??
Abeer-Orr kisko dega be uski gand toh tune maar rakhi hai..
Main-But why me?? Mujhe koi dhamki nahi deta.. Not at all.. He shouldn't have threatened me..
Abeer-Shut up.. Or tu. Bhosdk tera kaala dhanda bandh aajse... Aajke baad koi masoom ladki teri wajah se nahi barbaad hogi..
Ye bolke Abeer ne uski khopdi kholdi..
Main-Fucking hell.. Fuckkk.. Bataake maara kar gandu..
Tabtak buses bhi aagayi or ladkiyon ko buses mein baithaya jaane laga.. Wahaan only Main Abeer Ami or Anjali he they..
Abeer-Bhosdk tujhe pata tha ladki Hostle mein hai!? Toh bataya kyun nahi abtak??
Anjali-Yeah boss what the hell..
Main-Bataa deta toh tumhari acting natural nahi lagti...
Abeer-Jo bhi ho this is huge ,aag lagne waali hai chaaron taraf.. Ye by far biggest task tha india ka.. Itani masoom jindagiyaan bachaalee and all because of you.. I am fucking proud of you.
Ye bolke Abeer mere galle se laga sathmein Anjali bhi and Ami bhi ...
Anjali-Saare media waalon ko jawaab milne waala hai..
Main-Yeah.... Filhaal k liye toh... Ab toh sab pair chaatenge mere bhagwaan banaadenge mujhe firse... But jo bhi ho jo humne aaj kiya haina usase pura india hath jodega humare saamne.. Agle 2-3 election's mein iske naam se vote aaenge or dua bhi logon ki...
Anjali-Press conference kahaan bulaaun??
Main-Kahin nahi, jarurat nahi padegi... Sabko civil hospital leke chalenge Or police headquarters bichmein hospital k saamne he hai wahaan already behisaab media hai humlog jaan bujhke wahaan se jaaenge Or wohlog rokenge and wahaan sabke saamne kapde uttarunga unke Sudha Wudha sab wahaan hain.
Anjali-Good one..
Main-Tumlog bus leke aao tabtak main Woh Divya ko hostel se le leta hun and aage milunga tumhe headquarters k saamne..
Anjali-Ok..
Main jaanwar Or Ami nikale gaadi ki taraf..
Main-Jaanwar Tu jaa ek heavy speaker kaa jugaad kar headquarters k saamne jisase meri awaaj sabko sune.. Koi mic waali gaadi he arrange karwadena.. And wahaan khabbar failwa dey ki AP yahaan se gujaregaa taaki mujhe gherr lein wohlog....
Abeer-Ok..
Main Or Ami nikale hostel k liye..
Ami-Great job boss... Ye legit great work tha..
Main-Thanks...
Ami-Aapke dimag ki bhi daad deni padegi kya plan tha.. Aapka dimag sachmuch out of the world chal raha hai.. Kya reason hai??
Main-Chup chaap baith.. Mere speech par focus karne dey agle kuch din log yahi speech nonstop chalaane waale hain acha lagna chahiye..
Humlog hostel pohanchey gaadi roukki gate par guard tha ..
Guard-Sahaab kuch pata chala bitiya ka??
Main-Arrey bawligand bakchodi matt kar mujhse.. Ami... Isko itana maar itana maar ki atleast agle kuch maheene bed par he rahe ye.. Main aata hun tabtak.. Chaabi chhod madarchod..
Ye bolke maine usase chaabee cheen lee and uppar jaake gate khola, wahaan ek store room tha uska darwaja khola toh saamne niche woh ladki paddi thi hath pair bandhe they uske or munh par bhi kapda tha.. Aadhi honsh mein thi woh.. BC bhayanak maal hai ye toh..
Main-Hey.. Hey divya...
Maine usko khola Or hilaa hilaa k jagaana caaha woh aahista aahista uthi or fir ekdum se mujhe punch maara ..
Main-Arrey bhosdki pagal hai kya..safe hai tu... Hey.. Aankh khol.. Honsh mein aa theek se.. AP hun main..
Divya-T.. t. tum...
Main-Tera kidnap hogaya tha tujhe kidnap karke yahaan rakha tha teri maa ne mujhe bheja maine dhund liya tujhe and ab tere baap k pass leke jaaunga tujhe.. Bus ye jaan le... Sawaal jawaab matt karna orr..
Divya-You are so rude..
Main-Bhenchod.. Teri jaan bachaai hai maine..
Divya-Thanks a lot for that.. But you are super rude.. No doubt.. Main toh kitana acha samjhti thi tumhe..
Main-Arrey bhenchod punch maaregi toh kya krunga yaar ab..
Divya-Sorry for hitting you but stop using abusive language..
Main-Ohh dialoguebaaj sunle tera kidnap hogaya tha darr naa hai tujhe??
Divya-Bahot tha.. Pehle... I was scared to death but ab tum saamne ho toh sab theek he hoga.. Main jaanti hun tumhaare baare mein..
Main-Good chal tere baap ki aisi taisi bhi karni hai..
Continued
Update-383(The Speech)
383
Main usss ladki ko leke niche aaya tabtak Ami ne uss guard ko bhayanak tod diya tha..
Ami-Ambulance bulaa di hai.. Kai maheene kaa package dediya hai..
Main-Good..
Divya-U. U. uncle.. Inko kyun maara??
Main-Ye uncle ne tumhari Gaann....
Ami-A boss.. Shut up..
Main-I mean ye kidnappers k sath tha..
Divya-Oh my god.. Kyun??
Main-A Madam sawaal chhod jaldi chal naa udhar tera baap Or uske sathi sehar jalaane waale hain tere chakkar mein..
Divya-Kyun??
Main-Bhenchod KBC chal raha hai idhar?? Gaadi mein baith jaldi..
Ami ne gaadi nikaali Or humlog baithe and nikale headquarters k liye maine Anjali ko call kiya wohlog mujhe millne waale they aage.. So situation ye thi ki Police headquarters k just opposite mein he civil hospital hai or Sudha Wagairaah sab wahin par dharna derahe hain jo kissi bhi minute violent hone waala hai bhaari media or police Wagairaah hai wahaan so mera plan ye hai ki obviously un sab ladkiyon ko leke chekcup k liye civil hospital toh jaana he hai toh main headquarters k saamne he jaaunga wahaan ab Sudha k supporters and media mujhe gherenge and wahaan unke samne main ye raid reveal karunga , log baag pagal ho jaaenge.. Aag lagne waali thi.. Or Unsabka munh bhi bandh kar dunga main ab agar yahi kaam humlog press conference bulaake kartey toh sabko lagta ki easy tha ladkiyon ko bachaa laae honge lekin ab jab live dekhenge woh itani bus bharri hui unn ladkiyon ki jinko bachaya hai maine tab pata chalega ki 231 actually bahot jyaada hote hain..Ye tha mera plan.. Masterplan infact... So humlog location par pohanchey jahaan Anjali and baaki buses mera wait kar rahe they wahin par Abeer ne ek speaker and mic waali gaadi arrange karwa rakhi thi jiske Mike mein main bolne waala tha ab Ami ne humaari gaadi sabse aage lee uske piche woh speaker waali gaadi and unke piche baaki buses ye formation leke hum headquarters ki taraf mudde toh durr se he bheed dikh gayi thankfully thoda road still khaali tha lekin jyaada derr nahi raha Maine khabbar leak karwa rakhi thi ki AP aane waala hai yahaan se toh jaise he meri gaadi unke aas pass aai wohlog mere chaaron taraf failne lage Or bichmein aatey-2 meri gaadi puri tarah ghirr gayi thi and ab time tha jo meri hawa cheen lee thi uss hawa ko waapis banaane ka ..
Main-A divya sun teri jaan bachaai hai toh ek help meri bhi kar dena jab main kahun tabhi gaadi se bahaar nikalna emotional stuff baad mein kar lena dont ruin my moment..
Divya-Ok..
Main-Ok here goes nothing..
Ab khidki se uttar nahi shakta tha as gaadi gherr rakhi thi bilkul toh sunroof kholi and main gaadi k uppar chadha and mere chadtey he wohlog lage chilaane ki "ladki dhundke do humaari behan ko leke aao , divya ko leke aao etc etc" .. Ab maine piche waale driver se mike liya and gaadi ki roof par baith gaya Mike leke... Media wedia sab aachuke they mere chaaron taraf Sudha , Ramesh Yadav or baaki bade neta thodi he durri par ek stage par they just mere saamne..
Main-(On Mic) Hello.. Hello.. Mike testing.. Oh damn bahot jyaada loud hai ye toh.. Toh Ram ram sabko chilaana bandh karo jarra haan aise, ab sun lo.. Good evening guys.. Waah gussa ekdum top par hai aaplogon ka.. Gussa jaahir bhi hai aapki behan beti ko kissi ne kidnap karliya toh gussa aana bhi chahiye.. Lekin maine Ramesh or Sudha ji ko bola tha ki main sab theek kardunga unhe viswaash nahi tha mujhpe bilkul bhi nahi jo shocking hai kyunki mera track record 100% clear hai unhone kaha ki woh CBI ko case denge Kyunki CBI he ye case solve karegi main inke ghar gaya hath failaake ki mujhe dhundaney do ladki ko ulta inhone mujhe bhalla bura kaha ki main or meri sarkar kuch nahi kar rahi hai jo firse shocking tha kyunki CBI almost 30+ saal se Vilas k piche hai.. 30 saal?? Kya kar liya tumhari CBI ne uska 30 saal mein??? Ghanta.. Ghanta.. North mein toh Patrick abhi aaya hai recently, usase pehle Tamilnadu, Maharashtra, Bengal, MP etc yahaan par hajaaron ladkiyan gayab kar chuka hai Patrick ,yahaan toh sarkaar bhi tumhari he hai or uppar center mein bhi tumhari sarkaar hai toh ajtak tumne kya kar liya uska ?? Bade jor jor se naare laga rahe they abhitak toh?? Main deta hun jawaab kuch nahi kiya tumhari sarkar.30+ saal mein tum log kuch nahu kar paaye ye bahot lamba time hota hai isme kuch bhi karle sarkaar caahe toh. Ab main batata hun maine kya kiya.. Divya..
Ye bolke maine Divya ka hath pakkadke usko sunroof se uppar khincha usse dekhtey he logon k munh khull gaye udhar Sudha Ramesh or uski wife bhaage meri taraf..
Main-Toh Ye hain Divya maine promise kiya tha inki maata ji ko ki main inko leke aaunga sahi salaamat,mujhe matlab nahi tha Ramesh ji se Ya Sudha ji se mujhe inki maata ji par daya aagayi issliye main gaya inko laane or dekhlo jaisa promise kiya tha ek kharonch bhi nahi aane di inko maine.. Or yahi nahi.. Please lights ko jarra mere piche kiya jaaye..
Media or gaadiyon par lagi light piche modi gayi jahaan busses thi..
Main-Ye hain meri 231 behanein jinhe main Patrick k hathon se chhudwaake laaya hun .. Patrick inko bhi India se bahaar lejaake bech dena caahta tha lekin woh ye bhull gaya ki woh ab Sudha ji ki sarkaar dawaara ruled state mein nahi balki North India mein hai or yahaan sirf or sirf Deva bhai ki sarkaar chalti hai ya meri.. Or meri sarkaar mein meri behano ko koi hath bhi lagaade woh hath he nahi woh sir bhi ukhaadke faink deta hun main.. Ab please bheed khaali kijiye inhe saamne hospital leke jaana hai warna bata dun inke liye main kissi ko bhi tod shakta hun yahaan.. I don't care tum kiske supporters ho ya kya protest kar rahe ho tumlog, agar tumhari wajah se inko or deri hui toh ek ek ko yahin k yahin maarunga road khaali kardo.. 1 minute ka time deta hun..
Ye sunte he saari bheed road se ek side hoti gayi bus media waale mujhe chhodke bus wagairaah ki photos or videos lene lage media mein ladaai ho rahi thi pics lene k liye dhakka mukki kar rahe they wohlog,karna laajmi tha itani badi news dedi thi maine unko,or tabtak letey gaye jabtak woh buses hospital k andar naa chali gayi or wohlog fir munh faade meri taraf bhaage aaye,idhar Ramesh uski wife sudha uska beta and bete ki wife aake uss ladki se mille maine usko gaadi k uppar se niche uttara..
Main-Bola tha naa Aunty main le aaunga..
Continued..
UUpdate-384( He's Back?) 384
Ab un buses k andar jaane k baad media ne waapis mujhe gherr liya..
Main-(On Mike) Ab tumlog sawaal puchna suru karo usase pehle bata dun , Patrick ne in ladkiyon ko alag alag hisson se kidnap kiya tha or uska plan yahi tha jo humesha hota hai inn masoom ladkiyon ko kahin durr lejaake bech dena, ek aise daldal mein daalna caahta tha inko woh jahaan se ye log kabhi nahi lout shaktey they, lekin maine bhi waada kiya tha ki kissi ko kuch nahi hone dunga or aaj maine apna waada pura kiya maine meri sab behano ko bacha liya or haan Patrick or uske sabhi sathi maare gaye bus itana he kehna tha mujhe ab please apne apne ghar jaaiye.. Or haan i know aajkal bahot kuch chal raha hai news mein mujhko leke uske liye bus main yahi kahunga ki "The Time Will Tell"..
Ye bolke maine Mike waapis Diya or Police waalon ne media waalon ko piche karwa diya tab main gaadi se niche uttara toh mere saamne Ab Ramesh uski wife Sudha uska beta bawligand Dheeraj uski maal wife Chaaya khadde they ab Ramesh ki wife ne mere samne hath jodne caahe jo maine bich mein he pakkad liye..
Main-Bus kya aunty bola tha na ye meri behan hai main dhund laaunga isko..
Aunty-Thankyou so so so much beta..
Ramesh-No for real AP politics aside thanks a lot..
Main-Arrey your most welcome Ramesh Sir..
Sudha-Thanks a lot..
Main-Oh aapke thanks toh 2 baar lunga Sudha ji..
Sudha-Good work..
Main-Ji..
Sudha-Aaj yahaan se humare 6 protestors ko arrest kiya gaya hai..
Main-Violence karenge toh kya kiya jaaega Sudha ji .. Lekin bataaiye unka kya??
Sudha-Kissi Judge se bolke unki Fir dismissed karwao..
Main-Judge aapke saamne khadda hai hogaye Dismiss..
Dheeraj-Jhute dilaashe matt do..Chargesheet file ho chuki hai Judge ko involve karo or cases hatwao ASAP..
Main-Tumlog bhull kyun jaate ho main kon hun..
Dheeraj-Sarkaar hum bhi chalate hain woh bhi center mein humein pata hai case kaise dismiss hotey hain tumhari ye power kissi kaam nahi aaegi toh humein pagal matt banao cases waapis lo 48 ghante hain tumhaare pass warna hum fir sadko par uttarenge..
Main-Arrey bhai tu alag he item hai ,again Tu bhull raha hai tu kahaan khadda hai yahaan police bhi main hun judge bhi main hun sarkaar bhi main hun.. Arrey SP sahaab idhar aaiye jarra..
SP-Ji sir..
Main-Ye suna naa aapne?? Mujhe judge laana padega kya??
SP-Aapne keh diya sir judge sahaab konsa alag kahenge..Ji sir abhi release karwadeta hun sir issi second..
Main-Lo ji 48 ghante nahi 48 seconds caahiye they mujhe.. Haan unko samjha jarur dena doobara bakwaas ki toh saari jindagi bahaar nahi aane dunga..
Sudha or baaki k munh khull gaye they..
Main-Aise chownkiye matt tumlog sarkaar chalatey hoge jabki main pura North India Chalaata hun ab ye baat aage mujhse ulajhne se pehle dhyaan rakhna bhagwaan hun main, main kuch bhi karwa shakta hun kuch bhi.. Good night ..subh raatri...
Chaaya ko aankh maartey hue main gaadi mein baitha mere sath Abeer or Ami baithe..
Abeer-Gand faad di bc.. Gajab.. Kya speech deta hai be Tu.. Bhai ka speech godlike hota hai but kabhi kabahar tu bhai ko bache jaisa feel karwa deta hai jo apne aap mein ek bahot badi baat hai like koi written speech kuch nahi koi bade bade words nahi seedha jo hai so hai.. I fucking love it.
Main-Thanks. A kidhar jaa rahi hai tu..
Ami-Ghar? Or kahaan jaoge..
Main-Naa.. Ye address par lele iss hotel mein chalna hai..
Ami-Kon hai yahaan ??
Main-Chang or Claire..
Abeer-Unke pass kyun jaana hai?? Sab theek toh hai..
Main-Filhaal k liye toh haan.. Kuch bahot important baat karni hai let's go..
Abeer-Bhai darra matt..
Main-Chup..
Humlog hotel pohanchey gaadi park ki and uppar aake ek room ka darwaaja khat khataaya darwaaja Claire ne khola..
Claire-Boss.. Aap yahaan?? Aapko address kisne bataaya?? Chang ne??
Main-Naa.. Dhund liya maine waise he..
Claire-No chance boss..
Main-Bitch tumlog bhull kyun jaate ho main kon hun.. Side hatt ab..
Claire Ami or Abeer se galle milli..
Claire-I missed you guys..
Andar aaye toh Chang bathroom se bahaar aaya..
Chang-Areey guys tumlog yahaan?? Claire tune bulaaya??
Claire-No..
Chang-What the hell boss fir kaise dhund liya??
Main-You know what, main violence se thoda durr he tha but this one is needed..
Ye bolke Maine Chang ko pait mein ek bhayanak punch diya literally bhayanak punch lagte he woh niche girra munh se ulti karte hue..
Main-Nice orange juice piya tha betey ne..
Abeer-What the fuck bro..? Aise thodi koi maarta haibe..
Claire-Ewww! ulti ki hai toh saaf bhi tu he karega.. Fucking hell..
Ami - I loved it but boss aise kyun maara bechaare ko..
Main-Yahi bataaega..
Chang khaansta hua khadda hua munh saaf kiya washbasin mein or fir haanfta hua mudda meri taraf mujhe uppar se niche takk dekha usne..
Main-Haanji..
Chang-Ye.. Y. y. y. Ey.. Ye aapka punch toh nahi tha boss.. Ye.. Toh.. 2.00000...oh my god..
Main-Haanji Yours truly..
Continued..
Update-385(Headquarters Issues) 385
Main-Aapka apna Merchant Of Death.. Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen.
Ye sunke wahaan mojjud sabke pairon talle jameen khisak gayi..
Abeer-T. T. T. Tu.. Tu 2.0 hai?? Tabhi toh mujhe shakk tha ki itana weird kyun horaha hai daily tu or tera dimag??Bhenchod itana tej kabse hogaya tera dimag?? Pehle se bhi bahot jyaada tej hai tera dimag toh..
Main-Yeah.. Ab suno specially Ami or Abeer tu I know tumhare chote se brain mein abhi se mujhe waapis bhejne k plans bananey suru hogaye honge toh pehle he bata dun bahot need hai meri issliye aaya hun yahaan koi bakchodi nahi karni mujhe issliye befaltu ki koi bakchodi karke mujhe gussa matt dila dena ek he baar bolunga ye baat.. Main koi problem nahi create karne waala..
Abeer-But kyun?? Kya jarurat hai teri?
Main-Bata bey chutiye.. Kabtak chipaaega..
Chang-. w. ww. Oh boss..
Main-Main tabhi samjh gaya tha jab ye "help me" ki bakchodi suru hui ki koi toh hai jisse help caahiye sabse pucha 1.0 ne lekin sab clear they but tujhse naa pucha .. Tujhse mila tune bataaya tera pair injured hogaya issliye Tu woh Max ko nahi dhund paaya impossible tu ek chutiye ko naa dhund paaye ho he nahi shakta.. Fir teri injury fake lagi mujhe toh mujhe shakk hua ki tu kyun juth bolega i mean tu mujhe juth bol he nahi shakta tu marr jaaega lekin mujhe juth nahi bolega ab tune juth boli matlab mere faayde k liye juth boli hogi yaani headquarters mein kuch hua hai kuch bahot bada.. Ab wahaan bhi High Command se related kuch hua hai ye bhi pata hai mujhe kyunki ek unhi ka issue hai jo mujhe bataaenge nahi wohlog kyunki thode time pehle jab woh nakli mod aaya tha tab maine Jessica (High Command ki leader) ko officially boldiya tha ki main High Command ki koi help nahi karunga or main unse alag hogaya hun mera koi relation nahi hai High command se ab iska matlab maine High Command ko chhod diya , chhod diya toh wohlog caahke bhi mujhe kuch bata nahi shaktey woh rules k khilaaf hojaaega fir kyunki mera koi relation hai nahi unse yaani mujhe kuch bataana kissi bahaar waale ko khabbar dene jaisa hoga jo rules k khilaaf hai.. Ab wahi same situation apne sath hai humlog yaani mere team k log bhi high Command se koi information le yaa de nahi shaktey woh bhi rules k khilaaf hoga kyunki humlog members nahi hain high command k toh theft of information ka case lag jaaega or main yaa meri team aisa kuch karti hai toh team leader yaani mujhe 1-2 saal ki jail ho shakti hai.. Ab hua ye ki tujhe headquarters bulaaya hoga Randy ya master Boe ne yahi bataane k liye ki kuch toh chal raha hai High command waalon k sath jo kuch bhi hojaae mujhe pata nahi chalna caahiye..kyunki mujhe pata chal gaya toh bhenchod mujhe he jail mein daal denge wohlog.Ye hua tha..ab tere through mere mind ko signals mille ki kissi ko help ki jarurat hai jo tu bata nahi raha.. Issliye ye Help Me Help Me ki bakchodi chal rahi thi..
Chang-H.. hh. Haan boss..
Main-Ab tu thehra shyaana banda tune pata toh laga he liya hoga ki kya chal raha hai..
Chang-Thoda bahot..
Main-Toh fir?? Taali waali bajaaun tab bataaega??
Chang-B. B.. Boss.. Kya karoge jaanke chhodo naa jab pata hai jail bhi ho shakti hai.. Shakti kya hogi most probably..
Main-Raipata maar dunga bhosdk.. Aage ka mujhe sochne dey...
Abeer-Ek minute ek minute .. Jab bhosdk Jail hogi toh kyun pata karna hai.. Fuck High command Jessica(High Command ki leader) toh tujhe waise bhi passand nahi karti..
Main-Yeah.. But itana bada kuch hua hai or mujhe nahi pata.. Naa.. Naa.. Jessica nahi Flippy (Jessica ka Husband or High command ka Co-leader) woh toh mera khaas hai meri family hai woh.. BC pata hai tujhe kitani baar mujhe punishments se bachaaya hai usne kitani help ki hai usne meri..
Abeer-Flippy k baare mein High Command chhodne se pehle sochna caahiye tha na fir.. Itana bada decision kyun liya??? Mujhe toh pata bhi nahi high command chhod diya humne..
Main-Tab gusse mein tha main.. Bahot jyaada gusse mein toh karna padda.. Abe tu chup baith lawde..
Ab thoda bata dun main sabki memory refresh karne k liye ki underworld ka kya scene hai.. Basically Asian Underworld k 4 pillars hain 1st League jo sabse old and important hai basically League Mein sab hain Trained killers, Drug lords, Gang bangers, Fighters, tactical geniuses, Scientists, doctors, Business man's etcetera sab.. Ye log most part control kartey hain inke leader hai Master Mogui and Co Leader hain Bovice.. Then hai Hounds of Death Ye basically duniya kaa sabse bada contract killers kaa group hai i repeat duniya kaa sabse bada.. But they only act in Asia same as league.. Inke Leader hain master Norman Bones jisne mainly train kiya mujhe HOD k Co Leader bhi Master Bovice He hain..Master Norman k right hand hai master
Boe jo again meri mainly training ka hissa they..Ab League or HOD sabse old groups hain dono same day create hue they and dono ko 2 childhood friends ne create kiya tha and then aage unki families ne carry on kiya or
abhi bhi HOD or League k ristey bahot he ache hain they respect and love each other..
Then 3rd hai HIGH COMMAND toh ye log law makers hain ye ek hissab se sabse Uppar
hain kyunki sabka faisla yahi kartey hain .ye log bus numbers dekhte hain like kahan, kya,
kaise, kyun, kab hua or kissne kiya. Kissne Kitana paisa kamaya kissne Kitana ganwaaya kon rules k bahaar tha or kyun tha Wagairaah basically yelog police waale hain but with more power Underworld ki police,CBI,IB,ID,RAW sab yahi hain.Inki Leader hai Jessica usko mujhse kaafi nafrat hai i mean aise kuch personal issue nahi hai usko mujhse issue ye hai ki uska kaam hai rules banana or unko follow karwana ab main rules mein kabhi kaam nahi karta per second k hisaab se rules todta hun main issliye usko main jyaada passand nahi hun but Jo High Command ka Co leader haina Flippy jo Jessica ka husband bhi hai usse main bahot passand hun baaki masters ki tarah he is like family to me or ussi ki daya se main baar baar Jessica se bach jaata hun. Ab High Command ka dirty work HOD Karta hai basically sabka dirty work HOD he karta hai kissiko bhi maarna yaa marwaana hota hai toh sab HOD k pass contract leke jaatey hain and then 2 he options Baaki rehjaatey hain yaa toh aap Underworld Court k Saamnejaake uss contract ko fight karo ki woh galat hai but jabtak ye prove nahi hojata tabtak aapki death ho chuki hoti hai because HOD works quick.. Then 4th hai ROW ab Row
league kaa he ek part hua karta tha suru se he lekin bichmein kuch issues hue kaafi saal
Pehle almost 45 saal Pehle ye league se alag hue or Yahaan se nikal gaye or basically ab
in dono syndicates ki banti nahi hai or time to time wars hotey rehtey hain jinko shant
karwaata hai High Command Because unki sabko sunani padti hai.. Ab ROW bahot
powerful hai jiska main reason ye hai ki unke koi asool yaa rules nahi hain woh High
Command ki respect kartey hain bus naam ki or dikhaave k liye in real woh apni mann
marji kartey hain.. Ye group bahot bada hai like bahot bada almost HOD k barabar
members hain isme..Inke 2 headquarters hain 1st Myanmar Mein and second Spiti
Valley Himachal Pardesh Mein inka leader hai maadarchod Wrangler humaara jaani dushman.. Ye tha sabka overview.Ab iske alawa obviously Bahot saare major Clans, gangs or syndicates bhi hain underworld mein jimein se kuch powerful hotey hain in chaaron k he barabar but wohlog hidden kaam karna passand kartey hain.. Ab Sabse uppar hotey Hain "Elders " Jolog pure underworld ko oversee kartey hain Pure world ko.. Wohlog basically Court hain jinka fainsla sabko i repeat sabko maanana padta hai unke pass harr kissi ko khatam karne ki power hai lekin thankfully 4 elders hain Asia mein or 4on he Badhiya log hain or unhi ki madad se sab sahi chalta hai.. Woh jo kehtey hain sab leaders ko sunana padta hai.. Basically wohlog underworld k liye Bhagwaan k aadmi hain or woh bhagwaan hai Emo yaani "The Serpent" Elders se uppar bus Emo he hai or woh bhi ab active nahi hai toh Elders sab dekhte hain.. Ye tha Biodata to refresh your memories.. Yaad rakha karo baar baar refresh nahi karwaunga yaadasht..
Continued.
Update-386(Flippy) 386
Main-Bhosdk bolega be kya chal raha hai..
Chang-Boss please samjha karo.. Kyun panga lena hai humein ..
Abeer-Wahi toh be Jessica aisi taisi karwaye apni.
Main-Abe fir wahi baat Jessica se matlab nahi hai mujhe, flippy important hai mere liye.. Chang hath pair tod dunga 3 second hain..
Chang-Issue Flippy ka he hai boss.. I mean Jessica involved hai ..
Main-Bhosdk dono husband wife hain toh obviously ek ka issue hai toh dusara involved hoga he chutiye.. Tu issue bata kya hai..
Chang-Well puri baat toh mujhe bhi nahi pata kyunki main pata kar he nahi shakta legally jaisa aapne bataaya.. Mujhe bulaaya tha Master Boe ne yahi samjhaane k liye ki AP isme involve nahi ho shakta kuch bhi hojaae. Maine pucha issue kya hai toh unhone bus itana bataaya ki High Command ka koi issue hai ab obviously mujhe pata tha ki aaj nahi toh kal aapko bhanak lag he jaaegi i mean 1.0 se main baat chuppa shakta tha but aapse nahi or mujhe pata tha ye nobat aaegi jab aap mujhse puchoge ki kya issue hai toh maine socha ki thodi bahot information toh nikaal he leta hun kya jaata hai jab aapko jarurat hogi bata dunga.
Main-Kya jaata hai?? Kya jaata hai?? Bhosdk main jail mein jaata hun.. Meri team ka koi bhi agar High Command se information nikaalta fansa toh mujhe court mein ghaseet lenge wohlog or court mein judges se meri kam he banti hai..
Chang-But boss aapko information nahi deta toh aap gand maardetey meri toh mujhe jail se darr nahi tha..
Main-Haan be tujhe kyun hoga darr gandu jaana toh mujhe he tha..Chal khair ab risk le he liya toh bata..
Chang-So maine thodi information nikaalni caahi idhar udhar se but koi help karne ko taiyaar nahi tha kyunki sabko yahi hidaayat di gayi thi ki MOD or uski team High Command chhod chuke hain.. But fir bhi maine thodi bahot information jutta lee.. Actually Flippy par jaanleva attack hua tha jisme Flippy bach gaye but hospitalised hain headquarters mein he or abhi bhi unki jaan par khatra bana hua he hai ,kai bahot bade bade contract killers involved hain isme sab wait kar rahe hain Flippy k headquarters se bahaar jaane ka.. Sabki fatti paddi hai Masters and all sab darre hue hain.. Jo bhi karwa raha haina boss ye sab koi bahot badi film hai..
Main-Film..film bhosdk... Flippy Underworld ka bahot jyaada bada naam hai bahot he jyaada bada or agar koi uske sath ye sab karwa raha haina woh koi film nahi woh ek puri mega TV Series hai 1000-2000 episodes ki.. Lund be film... Bhosdk saamne waala jo bhi hai bhokaal hai.. Or kuch??
Chang-Bus yahi tha boss.. Pure Headquarters mein darr ka mahool hai logon ko lag raha hai ki Flippy Headquarters mein bhi safe nahi hai jabki Headquarters se safe koi place he nahi hai Asia mein toh isase andaaja laga shakte ho log kitane darre hue hain..
Main-Fuck... Fuck...
Chang-Yeah..
Claire-Bhenchod.. Gand marri paddi hai..
Abeer-Ab??
Main-Ab kya jaana padega...
Chang-Ek minute ek minute boss.. Help karni caahiye humein 1000% bilkul lekin boss humlog khud thodi jaa shaktey hain help karne wahaan jaake puchenge sablog ki tumhe bataaya kisne Or yahaan aaye kyun??High Command ki help karne waale tum kon?? Humaari gand par laat maar ke jail mein daal denge or 6 maheene toh minimum lagalo wahaan pe.. Or uss jail mein toh harr banda humein maarne parr tula hai toh subah shyaam bus logon ko maarke jinda rehna hoga.. Uppar se yahaan kya jawaab doge?? 6 maheene mein yahaan kuch hogaya toh?? Fir?? Toh boss jaane ki toh socho nahi..
Ami-Yeah.. Fuck that.. Or koi plan banaao apne godlevel dimag mein jisase indirectly help hojaaye..
Main-Interesting..
Abeer-Interesting nahi be wahaan nahi jaa rahe humlog...
Main-Ok.. Ok.. Let me think..
Ok so obviously kuch toh bahot bada chal raha hai underworld mein bahot he jyaada bada Chang ko jo pata haina woh uska 1% bhi nahi hai kuch bahot he jyaada badi bakchodi chal rahi hai, kya?? Woh abhi mujhe nahi pata but jo bhi hai Flippy ki jaan ko khatra hai toh main help karunga he karunga, or woh caahe kaise bhi karun..
Kuch derr thinking k baad main waapis present mein aaya..
Main-Give me some time sochte hain kuch , but dhyaan se sunlo sablog kuch bhi hojaaye humlog help karenge Flippy ki i dont give a fuck kaise bhi ho but help karni padegi..
Chang-Ofcourse boss.. Flippy ne kitana kuch kiya hai humaare liye..
Ami-Agreed..
Calire-Yep..
Abeer-Ek baat samjh mein nahi aayi be.. Actually 2 baatein.. First tera toh sabkuch violence par he tikka hai literally teri definition he Violence or Gussa hai toh tu violence se kaise durr hai??
Main-Kyunki mujhe pata tha kuch bahot bada chal raha hai or mera gussa abhi worth it nahi hai.. Gusse or Violence se mujhpe he effect hotey hain or fir jaldi waapis jaana padta hai kyunki jyaada dimag use hota hai usme or abhi jaldi jaana nahi hai so main bacha raha hun khudka time taaki issues solve karlun main easily..
Abeer-Interesting..
Ami-Weird..
Abeer-Second Tu kabse aaya hai or tune abtak MAX ka jikar bhi nahi kiya.. Jabki tune toh promise kiya tha tu badla lega apna.. Or bhai tu apna badla bhull jaaye possible he nahi hai.. No way...
Main-Again bhosdk maine humesha kahaa hai main caahe kitana he dangerous yaa cruel houn meri family k liye humesha main positive thinking he rakhunga unki help k liye humesha taiyaar hun main or Flippy meri family hai ..Revenge?? Woh toh main jab caahe lelun.. Bhenchod mujhe koi roukk shakta hai kya??
Ami-Or tumhaari aankein normally red hoti hain abhi kyun nahi??
Chang-Woh gusse ki wajah se.. Woh gusse se he laal hoti hain jo boss bata rahe woh kar nahi rahe toh ankhein laal nahi hain..
Ami- I see..
Abeer-I see.. Toh tu promise karta hai ki tu yahaan kissi ko koi problem nahi karega..
Main-Yep.. I don't give a fuck.. Kya chal raha hai yahaan tum or tumhaare chindi chor waale issues mujhe lund farak nahi padta..
Abeer-Bus fir mujhe koi problem nahi hai..
Ye sunke main muskuraya..
Main-GOOD..
Continued...
Yaha par to ye Patric ka game bhi baja diya hey apne bhai ne, ladakiyoko bachake...Update-387(The Evil Returns) 387
Humlog Chang k hotel se nikale and waapis haweli k liye nikale...
Abeer-Bhai thoda dhyaan rakhna please haan.. Kissi ko shakk naa ho tera..
Main-Dont worry be.. Bola toh main normal he hun..
Abeer-Good.. Mera bhai kabtak waapis aaega??
Main-Bhosdk main tera bhai he hun bawligand banda dusara thodi hai..
Abeer-Tu dusara banda he hai.. Bhai he hai tu bhi but mera bhai wahi hai..
Main-Hatt bawligand.. Pakka matt.. Tum dono he ho jinhe main passand nahi hun..
Ami-Naa.. Aisa kuch nahi hai ki tum naapasand ho humein not at all bus ye hai 1.0 humein bahot jyaada passand hai... Tum pasand kyun nahi hoge?? Saikdon hajaaron baar humaari jaan bacha chuke ho tum .. Bus 1.0 k pass woh emotions hain woh care hai.. He is more likeable..
Abeer-I agree.. Passand toh Tu bhi hai he headquarters mein tere sath he toh tha main wahaan 1.0 thodi tha but 1.0 ki baat he alag hai ...Or tujhse darr laga rehta hai bhai kya pata kab bhenchod dimag fir jaaye tera..
Main-True darr hona bhi caahiye..
Abeer-Dekh bc.. Aise daraata rehta hai tu.. Issliye Tu mera second favorite version hai..
Main-Second toh aaya bc..
Abeer-Ofcourse be second toh aaega he.. Considering 3.0 .. Bhenchod woh mera bhai waai nahi hai.. Fuck that guy.. Woh toh bhenchod kuch alag he hai.. Tujmein AP ki jhalak toh hai usme kuch bhi na hai... Woh.. Woh.. Kya he cheej hai..
Main-Frankly speaking mujhe khud nahi pata woh kya he cheej haibe..
Ami-Ye orr daraawna hai tum, the great MOD jisse sab pata hai usse 3.0 ka kuch nahi pata.. Kya he hoga woh..
Abeer-Jab bhi aaya hai gand faad deta hai sab kuch cheejon ki..
Ami- Arre even masters bhi darrtey hain usase toh... Fuck that guy.. Kab kahaan kaise kyun kya karta hai kissi ko nahi pata..
Main-Trur that..
Abeer-Tune bataaya naa be kab jaaega??
Main-Don't worry jaise he headquarters k issues solve kardunga main chala jaaunga fir tera favorite bhai aajaaega...
Abeer-Good.. Thanks bhai..
Ami-Kya plans par plans bana rahe they mujhe shakk ho he gaya tha ki aise thodi hota hai.. Itana fast dimag.. No way..
Main-Chup re..
Humlog haweli pohanchey wahaan as expected bhai ne behisaab tareef ki meri behisaab.. Karni bhi caahiye bc itana bada kand kardiya maine itani ladkiyon ko bachaaya india mein kabhi naa hua tha aisa kuch chaaro taraf mere or bhai k charche he they.... Also ek or positive point woh Reporter Archana tiwari k segment ki headlines change hogayi thi naa caahtey hue bhi meri tareef kar rahi thi woh... But end mein wahi baat ki usne ki " AP ne apne hospital jaane ka reason still nahi bataaya , baat taal di yaani again kuch toh chal raha hai uske sath " ..
Sudhregi nahi Lawdi..
Khair dinner kiya maine uske baad finally jaake so gaya main itane din baad finally badhiya nind aai mujhe.. I mean mujhe koi issue nahi tha nind kaa woh 1.0 kaa issue tha.. But itane din baad soke aanand aagaya..
Subah main late he utha and fresh wresh hoke ready hua and niche aaya.. Sab log apne apne kaam par jaa chuke they bus jaanwar Ami babhi Or Meenu bache they gharpe..
Main-Babhi breakfast...
Babhi-Aaj late kaise utha?? Itane din se kya badhiya early morning uth raha tha..
Main-Waise he thakk gaya tha..
Babhi-Ab ye hogaya toh College chala jaa Ab toh betu.. Padh wadh le thoda..
Main-College?? Kaahe?? College mein kya hai..
Babhi-Study?? Or kya hoga re college mein.. Thappad khaaega..
Main-Oh yeah..
Bhenchod ye college bhi jaata hai kya 1.0..fucking nerd..
Khair maine breakfast kiya and main nikala parking ki side toh Abeer Or Ami mere piche aaye..
Abeer-Kahaan be??
Main-Hospital be..
Abeer-Wahaan kya karega!?
Main-Lund.. Mera session chal raha hai wahaan Psychiatrists k sath yaad haina??
Abeer-Chutiye tera nahi 1.0 ka session chal raha hai.. Or Bhai awaaj sunaney waali problem toh solve he hogayi Tu he tha problem toh ab wahaan kya karega..
Main-Abe chutiye aise ekdum se bandh kar dunga toh hajaar sawaal karenge gharwaale bhi or woh doctors bhi.. Rukk jaa thoda..
Abeer-True.. Good thinking..
Ami-Yeah.. Chalo boss..
Main-Tu kidhar??
Ami-Well main security k liye 1.0 k sath he jaati thi toh tumhare sath bhi..
Main-Thappad maardunga aisi bakchodi karegi toh mujhse.. Main akela he jaaunga..
Main gaadi mein aaya . . BC meri juth pakkad lenge??? Halwa thodi hai bhenchod.. 1.0 samjha hai kya?? Arrey kahaan 1.0 toh maha bawaligand hai.. 2.0 samjha hai kya bhenchod mujhe jo pakkad loge..
Maine khudse hanste hue kahaa.. Khair main hospital pohancha ek gaadi thi media waalon ki mere piche ,bolo ab ye picha karenge mera.. Hahahaha.. Funny..
Khair main hospital pohancha and seedha Rashi k cabin mein aaya.. Ruhi Or Rashi dono wahaan mojjud they..
Ruhi-Oho ho.. Look who is here.. national Hero aaye hain..
Main-Hehehe..
Ruhi-We are so so so proud of you AP..
Rashi-Yep.. Bahot bada kaam kiya hai tumne.. Great job.. Kitani masoom ladkiyon ki jaan bachaai tumne..
Main-Thanks guys thanks..
Rashi-So kaisa laga feild mein uttar ke..??
Main-Maine bus plan banaaya to be honest....
Rashi-Ok..
Ruhi-So aaj ka session suru kartey hain..
Main-Ok .. Wait.. So aaj kuch weird questions hain mere pass and mujhe caahiye answers..
Ruhi-Ok we are ready..
Main-Naa.. Darling Tu nahi.. Tu meri family hai or tere samne mujhe bataane mein sharam aarahi hai.. Toh tu chutti lele aajki.. Main Rashi se baat karta hun..
Ruhi-(Hanste hue) Aisa kya puchega re.. Lol.. Ok Rashi take care..tu sambhaal...
Ye bolke Ruhi room se chali gayi maine uthke room ka gate bandh kiya and Rashi k pass baitha..
Rashi-Ok.. What's going on?? Ghurr kyun rahe ho?? AP??
Main-Naa.. Naa.. AP is long gone.. Sorry.. So rude of me introduction nahi diya jo..
Rashi-What?? You ok??
Main-Tumhe shakk tha naa ki meri multiple personalities hain?? Right??
Rashi-Yeah..
Main-Toh...
Rashi-Oh my god.. I knew it. I Fucking knew it.. Mujhe pakka vishwaash tha ki tumhari multiple personalities hain i knew it..Toh tum ho woh second personality..
Main-No.. Noo.. No... Technically I am the Third One.... Let me introduce my self.. They Call Me 3.0...
Continued..
Superb update broUUpdate-382(Saved Her) 382
Ab Patrick ka game over ho chuka tha or ab time tha uska game sachmein over karne ka..
Main-Toh Patrick babu?? Chalein fir??
Patrick-Come on kill me..
Main-Main nahi. Naa naa.. I hate violence.. Ye mera bhai haina jaanwar ye bahot gussa hai tujhse.. Ye dekhlega tujhe.. Abeer thokde..
Lekin tabhi Patrick ka phone baja maine uski jeb se phone nikaala toh "Vilas Bhai"likha aaraha tha..
Main-Oho ho tere maai baap ka phone hai..
Maine phone uthaaya.
Vilas-Is it done Vilas?? Train departed??
Main-Naa.. Naa train nahi nikali hai abhi driver chaaye paani peene gaya hai aatey he chalega..
Vilas-Who is this?? Patrick kahaan hai??
Main-Main!!? Bhosdk budhau mujhe nahi pehchanega ab Tu..
Vilas-AP?? You fucking coward.. Patrick kahaan hai!?
Main-Well sadly.. Patrick is about to die..
Vilas-Dont you fucking dare.. Don't touch him..
Main-Too late for that...
Vilas-I will kill you.. Suna tune.. Maardunga main tujhe.. Tujhe lagta hai ye game hai?? Jaa read about me.. Padh kon hun main... I am the black sheep of this shit... I am Vilas,40 years... 40 years.. Forty fucking years I've been doing this shit .. Play time over hogaya AP.. Main maardunga tujhe.. I will kill you I promise you that..
Main-Nm. Mujhe?? Mujhe kyun maarega Tu!? Why would you kill me???
Vilas-Stop playing games with me.. You'll die just remember this.
Main-But why ?? Mujhe kyun dhamki deraha hai tu??
Vilas-Keep fooling around.. Keep it up.. Jab tere andar meri goli jaaegi tab dekhte hain.. I will kill you bitch..
Main-But kyun?? Mujhe dhamki kyun deraha hai?? Mujhe dhamki dena is not good.. Not at all.. Naaa.. Naa.. Naa... Nopeeee..
Ye sunke usne call cut kardiya..
Main-Why is he threatening me??
Abeer-Orr kisko dega be uski gand toh tune maar rakhi hai..
Main-But why me?? Mujhe koi dhamki nahi deta.. Not at all.. He shouldn't have threatened me..
Abeer-Shut up.. Or tu. Bhosdk tera kaala dhanda bandh aajse... Aajke baad koi masoom ladki teri wajah se nahi barbaad hogi..
Ye bolke Abeer ne uski khopdi kholdi..
Main-Fucking hell.. Fuckkk.. Bataake maara kar gandu..
Tabtak buses bhi aagayi or ladkiyon ko buses mein baithaya jaane laga.. Wahaan only Main Abeer Ami or Anjali he they..
Abeer-Bhosdk tujhe pata tha ladki Hostle mein hai!? Toh bataya kyun nahi abtak??
Anjali-Yeah boss what the hell..
Main-Bataa deta toh tumhari acting natural nahi lagti...
Abeer-Jo bhi ho this is huge ,aag lagne waali hai chaaron taraf.. Ye by far biggest task tha india ka.. Itani masoom jindagiyaan bachaalee and all because of you.. I am fucking proud of you.
Ye bolke Abeer mere galle se laga sathmein Anjali bhi and Ami bhi ...
Anjali-Saare media waalon ko jawaab milne waala hai..
Main-Yeah.... Filhaal k liye toh... Ab toh sab pair chaatenge mere bhagwaan banaadenge mujhe firse... But jo bhi ho jo humne aaj kiya haina usase pura india hath jodega humare saamne.. Agle 2-3 election's mein iske naam se vote aaenge or dua bhi logon ki...
Anjali-Press conference kahaan bulaaun??
Main-Kahin nahi, jarurat nahi padegi... Sabko civil hospital leke chalenge Or police headquarters bichmein hospital k saamne he hai wahaan already behisaab media hai humlog jaan bujhke wahaan se jaaenge Or wohlog rokenge and wahaan sabke saamne kapde uttarunga unke Sudha Wudha sab wahaan hain.
Anjali-Good one..
Main-Tumlog bus leke aao tabtak main Woh Divya ko hostel se le leta hun and aage milunga tumhe headquarters k saamne..
Anjali-Ok..
Main jaanwar Or Ami nikale gaadi ki taraf..
Main-Jaanwar Tu jaa ek heavy speaker kaa jugaad kar headquarters k saamne jisase meri awaaj sabko sune.. Koi mic waali gaadi he arrange karwadena.. And wahaan khabbar failwa dey ki AP yahaan se gujaregaa taaki mujhe gherr lein wohlog....
Abeer-Ok..
Main Or Ami nikale hostel k liye..
Ami-Great job boss... Ye legit great work tha..
Main-Thanks...
Ami-Aapke dimag ki bhi daad deni padegi kya plan tha.. Aapka dimag sachmuch out of the world chal raha hai.. Kya reason hai??
Main-Chup chaap baith.. Mere speech par focus karne dey agle kuch din log yahi speech nonstop chalaane waale hain acha lagna chahiye..
Humlog hostel pohanchey gaadi roukki gate par guard tha ..
Guard-Sahaab kuch pata chala bitiya ka??
Main-Arrey bawligand bakchodi matt kar mujhse.. Ami... Isko itana maar itana maar ki atleast agle kuch maheene bed par he rahe ye.. Main aata hun tabtak.. Chaabi chhod madarchod..
Ye bolke maine usase chaabee cheen lee and uppar jaake gate khola, wahaan ek store room tha uska darwaja khola toh saamne niche woh ladki paddi thi hath pair bandhe they uske or munh par bhi kapda tha.. Aadhi honsh mein thi woh.. BC bhayanak maal hai ye toh..
Main-Hey.. Hey divya...
Maine usko khola Or hilaa hilaa k jagaana caaha woh aahista aahista uthi or fir ekdum se mujhe punch maara ..
Main-Arrey bhosdki pagal hai kya..safe hai tu... Hey.. Aankh khol.. Honsh mein aa theek se.. AP hun main..
Divya-T.. t. tum...
Main-Tera kidnap hogaya tha tujhe kidnap karke yahaan rakha tha teri maa ne mujhe bheja maine dhund liya tujhe and ab tere baap k pass leke jaaunga tujhe.. Bus ye jaan le... Sawaal jawaab matt karna orr..
Divya-You are so rude..
Main-Bhenchod.. Teri jaan bachaai hai maine..
Divya-Thanks a lot for that.. But you are super rude.. No doubt.. Main toh kitana acha samjhti thi tumhe..
Main-Arrey bhenchod punch maaregi toh kya krunga yaar ab..
Divya-Sorry for hitting you but stop using abusive language..
Main-Ohh dialoguebaaj sunle tera kidnap hogaya tha darr naa hai tujhe??
Divya-Bahot tha.. Pehle... I was scared to death but ab tum saamne ho toh sab theek he hoga.. Main jaanti hun tumhaare baare mein..
Main-Good chal tere baap ki aisi taisi bhi karni hai..
Continued
Awesome update broUpdate-383(The Speech)
383
Main usss ladki ko leke niche aaya tabtak Ami ne uss guard ko bhayanak tod diya tha..
Ami-Ambulance bulaa di hai.. Kai maheene kaa package dediya hai..
Main-Good..
Divya-U. U. uncle.. Inko kyun maara??
Main-Ye uncle ne tumhari Gaann....
Ami-A boss.. Shut up..
Main-I mean ye kidnappers k sath tha..
Divya-Oh my god.. Kyun??
Main-A Madam sawaal chhod jaldi chal naa udhar tera baap Or uske sathi sehar jalaane waale hain tere chakkar mein..
Divya-Kyun??
Main-Bhenchod KBC chal raha hai idhar?? Gaadi mein baith jaldi..
Ami ne gaadi nikaali Or humlog baithe and nikale headquarters k liye maine Anjali ko call kiya wohlog mujhe millne waale they aage.. So situation ye thi ki Police headquarters k just opposite mein he civil hospital hai or Sudha Wagairaah sab wahin par dharna derahe hain jo kissi bhi minute violent hone waala hai bhaari media or police Wagairaah hai wahaan so mera plan ye hai ki obviously un sab ladkiyon ko leke chekcup k liye civil hospital toh jaana he hai toh main headquarters k saamne he jaaunga wahaan ab Sudha k supporters and media mujhe gherenge and wahaan unke samne main ye raid reveal karunga , log baag pagal ho jaaenge.. Aag lagne waali thi.. Or Unsabka munh bhi bandh kar dunga main ab agar yahi kaam humlog press conference bulaake kartey toh sabko lagta ki easy tha ladkiyon ko bachaa laae honge lekin ab jab live dekhenge woh itani bus bharri hui unn ladkiyon ki jinko bachaya hai maine tab pata chalega ki 231 actually bahot jyaada hote hain..Ye tha mera plan.. Masterplan infact... So humlog location par pohanchey jahaan Anjali and baaki buses mera wait kar rahe they wahin par Abeer ne ek speaker and mic waali gaadi arrange karwa rakhi thi jiske Mike mein main bolne waala tha ab Ami ne humaari gaadi sabse aage lee uske piche woh speaker waali gaadi and unke piche baaki buses ye formation leke hum headquarters ki taraf mudde toh durr se he bheed dikh gayi thankfully thoda road still khaali tha lekin jyaada derr nahi raha Maine khabbar leak karwa rakhi thi ki AP aane waala hai yahaan se toh jaise he meri gaadi unke aas pass aai wohlog mere chaaron taraf failne lage Or bichmein aatey-2 meri gaadi puri tarah ghirr gayi thi and ab time tha jo meri hawa cheen lee thi uss hawa ko waapis banaane ka ..
Main-A divya sun teri jaan bachaai hai toh ek help meri bhi kar dena jab main kahun tabhi gaadi se bahaar nikalna emotional stuff baad mein kar lena dont ruin my moment..
Divya-Ok..
Main-Ok here goes nothing..
Ab khidki se uttar nahi shakta tha as gaadi gherr rakhi thi bilkul toh sunroof kholi and main gaadi k uppar chadha and mere chadtey he wohlog lage chilaane ki "ladki dhundke do humaari behan ko leke aao , divya ko leke aao etc etc" .. Ab maine piche waale driver se mike liya and gaadi ki roof par baith gaya Mike leke... Media wedia sab aachuke they mere chaaron taraf Sudha , Ramesh Yadav or baaki bade neta thodi he durri par ek stage par they just mere saamne..
Main-(On Mic) Hello.. Hello.. Mike testing.. Oh damn bahot jyaada loud hai ye toh.. Toh Ram ram sabko chilaana bandh karo jarra haan aise, ab sun lo.. Good evening guys.. Waah gussa ekdum top par hai aaplogon ka.. Gussa jaahir bhi hai aapki behan beti ko kissi ne kidnap karliya toh gussa aana bhi chahiye.. Lekin maine Ramesh or Sudha ji ko bola tha ki main sab theek kardunga unhe viswaash nahi tha mujhpe bilkul bhi nahi jo shocking hai kyunki mera track record 100% clear hai unhone kaha ki woh CBI ko case denge Kyunki CBI he ye case solve karegi main inke ghar gaya hath failaake ki mujhe dhundaney do ladki ko ulta inhone mujhe bhalla bura kaha ki main or meri sarkar kuch nahi kar rahi hai jo firse shocking tha kyunki CBI almost 30+ saal se Vilas k piche hai.. 30 saal?? Kya kar liya tumhari CBI ne uska 30 saal mein??? Ghanta.. Ghanta.. North mein toh Patrick abhi aaya hai recently, usase pehle Tamilnadu, Maharashtra, Bengal, MP etc yahaan par hajaaron ladkiyan gayab kar chuka hai Patrick ,yahaan toh sarkaar bhi tumhari he hai or uppar center mein bhi tumhari sarkaar hai toh ajtak tumne kya kar liya uska ?? Bade jor jor se naare laga rahe they abhitak toh?? Main deta hun jawaab kuch nahi kiya tumhari sarkar.30+ saal mein tum log kuch nahu kar paaye ye bahot lamba time hota hai isme kuch bhi karle sarkaar caahe toh. Ab main batata hun maine kya kiya.. Divya..
Ye bolke maine Divya ka hath pakkadke usko sunroof se uppar khincha usse dekhtey he logon k munh khull gaye udhar Sudha Ramesh or uski wife bhaage meri taraf..
Main-Toh Ye hain Divya maine promise kiya tha inki maata ji ko ki main inko leke aaunga sahi salaamat,mujhe matlab nahi tha Ramesh ji se Ya Sudha ji se mujhe inki maata ji par daya aagayi issliye main gaya inko laane or dekhlo jaisa promise kiya tha ek kharonch bhi nahi aane di inko maine.. Or yahi nahi.. Please lights ko jarra mere piche kiya jaaye..
Media or gaadiyon par lagi light piche modi gayi jahaan busses thi..
Main-Ye hain meri 231 behanein jinhe main Patrick k hathon se chhudwaake laaya hun .. Patrick inko bhi India se bahaar lejaake bech dena caahta tha lekin woh ye bhull gaya ki woh ab Sudha ji ki sarkaar dawaara ruled state mein nahi balki North India mein hai or yahaan sirf or sirf Deva bhai ki sarkaar chalti hai ya meri.. Or meri sarkaar mein meri behano ko koi hath bhi lagaade woh hath he nahi woh sir bhi ukhaadke faink deta hun main.. Ab please bheed khaali kijiye inhe saamne hospital leke jaana hai warna bata dun inke liye main kissi ko bhi tod shakta hun yahaan.. I don't care tum kiske supporters ho ya kya protest kar rahe ho tumlog, agar tumhari wajah se inko or deri hui toh ek ek ko yahin k yahin maarunga road khaali kardo.. 1 minute ka time deta hun..
Ye sunte he saari bheed road se ek side hoti gayi bus media waale mujhe chhodke bus wagairaah ki photos or videos lene lage media mein ladaai ho rahi thi pics lene k liye dhakka mukki kar rahe they wohlog,karna laajmi tha itani badi news dedi thi maine unko,or tabtak letey gaye jabtak woh buses hospital k andar naa chali gayi or wohlog fir munh faade meri taraf bhaage aaye,idhar Ramesh uski wife sudha uska beta and bete ki wife aake uss ladki se mille maine usko gaadi k uppar se niche uttara..
Main-Bola tha naa Aunty main le aaunga..
Continued..
Fantastic update bro maza aa gayaUUpdate-384( He's Back?) 384
Ab un buses k andar jaane k baad media ne waapis mujhe gherr liya..
Main-(On Mike) Ab tumlog sawaal puchna suru karo usase pehle bata dun , Patrick ne in ladkiyon ko alag alag hisson se kidnap kiya tha or uska plan yahi tha jo humesha hota hai inn masoom ladkiyon ko kahin durr lejaake bech dena, ek aise daldal mein daalna caahta tha inko woh jahaan se ye log kabhi nahi lout shaktey they, lekin maine bhi waada kiya tha ki kissi ko kuch nahi hone dunga or aaj maine apna waada pura kiya maine meri sab behano ko bacha liya or haan Patrick or uske sabhi sathi maare gaye bus itana he kehna tha mujhe ab please apne apne ghar jaaiye.. Or haan i know aajkal bahot kuch chal raha hai news mein mujhko leke uske liye bus main yahi kahunga ki "The Time Will Tell"..
Ye bolke maine Mike waapis Diya or Police waalon ne media waalon ko piche karwa diya tab main gaadi se niche uttara toh mere saamne Ab Ramesh uski wife Sudha uska beta bawligand Dheeraj uski maal wife Chaaya khadde they ab Ramesh ki wife ne mere samne hath jodne caahe jo maine bich mein he pakkad liye..
Main-Bus kya aunty bola tha na ye meri behan hai main dhund laaunga isko..
Aunty-Thankyou so so so much beta..
Ramesh-No for real AP politics aside thanks a lot..
Main-Arrey your most welcome Ramesh Sir..
Sudha-Thanks a lot..
Main-Oh aapke thanks toh 2 baar lunga Sudha ji..
Sudha-Good work..
Main-Ji..
Sudha-Aaj yahaan se humare 6 protestors ko arrest kiya gaya hai..
Main-Violence karenge toh kya kiya jaaega Sudha ji .. Lekin bataaiye unka kya??
Sudha-Kissi Judge se bolke unki Fir dismissed karwao..
Main-Judge aapke saamne khadda hai hogaye Dismiss..
Dheeraj-Jhute dilaashe matt do..Chargesheet file ho chuki hai Judge ko involve karo or cases hatwao ASAP..
Main-Tumlog bhull kyun jaate ho main kon hun..
Dheeraj-Sarkaar hum bhi chalate hain woh bhi center mein humein pata hai case kaise dismiss hotey hain tumhari ye power kissi kaam nahi aaegi toh humein pagal matt banao cases waapis lo 48 ghante hain tumhaare pass warna hum fir sadko par uttarenge..
Main-Arrey bhai tu alag he item hai ,again Tu bhull raha hai tu kahaan khadda hai yahaan police bhi main hun judge bhi main hun sarkaar bhi main hun.. Arrey SP sahaab idhar aaiye jarra..
SP-Ji sir..
Main-Ye suna naa aapne?? Mujhe judge laana padega kya??
SP-Aapne keh diya sir judge sahaab konsa alag kahenge..Ji sir abhi release karwadeta hun sir issi second..
Main-Lo ji 48 ghante nahi 48 seconds caahiye they mujhe.. Haan unko samjha jarur dena doobara bakwaas ki toh saari jindagi bahaar nahi aane dunga..
Sudha or baaki k munh khull gaye they..
Main-Aise chownkiye matt tumlog sarkaar chalatey hoge jabki main pura North India Chalaata hun ab ye baat aage mujhse ulajhne se pehle dhyaan rakhna bhagwaan hun main, main kuch bhi karwa shakta hun kuch bhi.. Good night ..subh raatri...
Chaaya ko aankh maartey hue main gaadi mein baitha mere sath Abeer or Ami baithe..
Abeer-Gand faad di bc.. Gajab.. Kya speech deta hai be Tu.. Bhai ka speech godlike hota hai but kabhi kabahar tu bhai ko bache jaisa feel karwa deta hai jo apne aap mein ek bahot badi baat hai like koi written speech kuch nahi koi bade bade words nahi seedha jo hai so hai.. I fucking love it.
Main-Thanks. A kidhar jaa rahi hai tu..
Ami-Ghar? Or kahaan jaoge..
Main-Naa.. Ye address par lele iss hotel mein chalna hai..
Ami-Kon hai yahaan ??
Main-Chang or Claire..
Abeer-Unke pass kyun jaana hai?? Sab theek toh hai..
Main-Filhaal k liye toh haan.. Kuch bahot important baat karni hai let's go..
Abeer-Bhai darra matt..
Main-Chup..
Humlog hotel pohanchey gaadi park ki and uppar aake ek room ka darwaaja khat khataaya darwaaja Claire ne khola..
Claire-Boss.. Aap yahaan?? Aapko address kisne bataaya?? Chang ne??
Main-Naa.. Dhund liya maine waise he..
Claire-No chance boss..
Main-Bitch tumlog bhull kyun jaate ho main kon hun.. Side hatt ab..
Claire Ami or Abeer se galle milli..
Claire-I missed you guys..
Andar aaye toh Chang bathroom se bahaar aaya..
Chang-Areey guys tumlog yahaan?? Claire tune bulaaya??
Claire-No..
Chang-What the hell boss fir kaise dhund liya??
Main-You know what, main violence se thoda durr he tha but this one is needed..
Ye bolke Maine Chang ko pait mein ek bhayanak punch diya literally bhayanak punch lagte he woh niche girra munh se ulti karte hue..
Main-Nice orange juice piya tha betey ne..
Abeer-What the fuck bro..? Aise thodi koi maarta haibe..
Claire-Ewww! ulti ki hai toh saaf bhi tu he karega.. Fucking hell..
Ami - I loved it but boss aise kyun maara bechaare ko..
Main-Yahi bataaega..
Chang khaansta hua khadda hua munh saaf kiya washbasin mein or fir haanfta hua mudda meri taraf mujhe uppar se niche takk dekha usne..
Main-Haanji..
Chang-Ye.. Y. y. y. Ey.. Ye aapka punch toh nahi tha boss.. Ye.. Toh.. 2.00000...oh my god..
Main-Haanji Yours truly..
Continued..
