"Xforum Valentine Story Contest - 2019 :- Reviews Thread"

[The Immortal]

my review for
"Usska Naam Sahana Hai"

Casinar bhai thanx for this wonderful story , wese ye sirf story nahi hai aaj kal ki generation mai bohat se couple aisa karte hai kuch couple maze ke liye or kuch couple mai unka partner by force karwata hai chahe wo ladki ho ya ladka . some time addiction of sex is more dangerous then poison . jaisa ki casi bhai apne is story mai dikhaya hai , story ke end tak chaar log maare gaye . khair ab aate hai story pe , story ka narration kafi ache tarike se kiya gya hai , sabd simple the lekin unka asar kafi gehra tha , specially SAHANA ka apne past ke baare btana , aisa bilkul bhi nahi lag rha tha ki koi apni kahani bata raha ho , balki aisa lag rha tha ki koi film aankho ke samne chal rahi ho. great narration . puri story kahin bhi bore nahi lagi , balki har sentence ke baad aur bhi interesting hoti ja rahi thi aur puri story mai apne interest bna ke rakha casi bhai. well last mai itna hi kahunga aisi hi aur bhi stories time to time likhte rahe casi bhai.
once again thanx for this wonderful story.

 

[Romeo 22]

Ye un dino ki baat hai By samurai
Review : nice story , Do adhhoori prem kahaniya ek kahani me ..Banaras
Well, story ki language, narration , flow up to the mark hai.. Kitni bar muhabbat mazhab ki bhent chadh jaati hai
Jannat aur firdausi dono ka kirdar dil ko chhu lene wala hai
Kuchh baaten aur - aisa laga story bahut jaldi me likhi gayi hai, finishing touch aur achchhe se likhna tha
Gaurav ke baare me thoda aur batana banta tha..
Ju ne jaldi jaldi me likha kya Samu nai
Overall, nice story with superv emotional touch , sochne ke liye bahut kuchh chhod jaati h, thought provoking, open ended
All the best for contest

 

[Casinar]

My review for Usska Naam Sahana Hai
Casi bro what do I say? You have left me speechless with this wonderful story named Usska Naam Sahana hai. your last English entry was an intense story and this one also is a very intense story based on love, deep love from the part of the main protagonist who was used by her man who was a pervert in fact.
You are so good at writing tragedy also Casi bro. that's wonderful indeed. both contest entries are tragedies from you but still, they are love tragedies.
As usual, your narrative descriptions are excellent and equal to none.
The beginning of the story itself shows your capacity as a writer. The way you introduced the sound of the shoes echoing in the corridor of the jail is astounding description wise.
And the way you described the strength of the journalist, and the way Sahana is described sitting like a tired, worn out woman bending her head and neck on another side, all that shows how far you care for descriptive narrations.
Each and every paragraph has the utmost importance in your story and you have so perfectly managed all of that.
You prove to be a very qualified writer my friend. It looks like a tale written by a professional writer.
You did not forget to mention the character of the lady guard who had to only stand there still you cared to show her in the lights by giving her a few lines to mark her presence as well.
The place you mentioned how Sahana walked till the bars and placed her face in between to feel the cold air coming from outside through the corridor which she filled her lungs with is adorable. not needed at all but you prove yourself by mentioning such lines in a story.
Coming to what Sahana started relating to the journalist those were the punching parts of this story. A woman deeply in love, who loved from her soul, being betrayed by her man. How Sahana got to take deep breaths every time to tell each part of her tale is mindblowing.
I almost cried when Sahana shouted speaking out her heart the night she committed the crimes.... she exploded and took all she had kept inside all these days... she had to burst out and she did it.... that was excellent......
when I started reaching the last lines, reading that she was free and got back her job, I thought that was to be a happy ending but was shocked to read the real end.... bro, you are just awesome, you know how to really end a tragedy. Who else would have expected such an end of this story? I am sure no one. And it is very realistic. Two brothers were killed by Sahana so a small brother came to take revenge. When everything was fine for her someone was waiting to make her pay for what she did. and thus ends her story with herself. Pareeniti Agarwaal thought she did a great job by saving her but the fact is that this time the great journalist failed, as she took her out of there to get killed!!
Hats off Casi bro. and thank you very very much for this wonderful story. I find this to be to the top of all, it even beats your own English entry. I vote this number one and your English entry number two.

P.S. I have noticed you have a great preference for girls names starting with an "S" is it so bro? for example in your threads, Sanjana, Shanaya etc.. here Sahana

thanks so very much for this lovely review my friend.
feeling indebted to you for this

 

[Casinar]

My review for Uska naam sahana hai

Casi bhai behad hi adbhut kahani ki rachna aapne ki hai,
aapke likhane ki shaili itni lajawab hai ki mai bata nhi sakta,
bhai iss kahani ke madhyam se aapne samaj ki uss mansikta par kada prahar kiya hai jo ye sochta hai ki aurat sirf ek upbhog ki vastu hai aur mard use apni shaukh ke liye jaise chahe vaise istemal kar sakta hai,
iss kahani ke madhyam se sahana ne ye dikha diya hai ki yadi koi ladki apne pyar par apna sab kuchh nyochhavar kar sakti hai to apne maan ke liye uski jaan bhi le sakti hai,
rajeev ne sahana ke sath manavta ki saari hade paar kar di thi aur uska vahi hasra hua jiska vo hakdaar tha,
sahana ne uss par apna sab kuchh nyochhavar kar diya tha kintu usne use apne dosto aur khud ki vasna purti ka ek sadhan matra bana kar rakh diya tha,
iss kahani me sahana ne jaisi sahas ka parichay diya hai vo bahot hi kam ladkiya kar pati hai, usne unn tino darindo ko unke karmo ke anusar hi aisa maut pradan kiya hai jiske vo adhikari the,
parinita ji ne inshaniyat ka farj ada karte hue use uss jillat bhari jell ki jindagi se aajad karaya aur use ek achchhi jindagi dilayi,
lekin jo aashan ho vo jindagi kaha , aashan to maut hoti hai,
aur aakhir kar ant me rajeev ke chhote bhai ne 14th February ko use goli mar kar use iss jindagi se mukt kar diya,
Overall bahot hi shandaar story hai bhai

bahot bahot shukroya Jitu bai iss pyari si review ke liye,
main aap ka behad shukra guzaar hoon aur mere paas shabd nahin ke kiss tarah se aap ka shukriya ada karun.
bahut meherbaani bhai, eise saath bane rehiyega.

 

[Casinar]

my review for
"Usska Naam Sahana Hai"

Casinar bhai thanx for this wonderful story , wese ye sirf story nahi hai aaj kal ki generation mai bohat se couple aisa karte hai kuch couple maze ke liye or kuch couple mai unka partner by force karwata hai chahe wo ladki ho ya ladka . some time addiction of sex is more dangerous than poison . jaisa ki casi bhai apne is story mai dikhaya hai , story ke end tak chaar log maare gaye . khair ab aate hai story pe , story ka narration kafi ache tarike se kiya gya hai , sabd simple the lekin unka asar kafi gehra tha , specially SAHANA ka apne past ke baare btana , aisa bilkul bhi nahi lag rha tha ki koi apni kahani bata raha ho , balki aisa lag rha tha ki koi film aankho ke samne chal rahi ho. great narration. puri story kahin bhi bore nahi lagi , balki har sentence ke baad aur bhi interesting hoti ja rahi thi aur puri story mai apne interest bna ke rakha casi bhai. well last mai itna hi kahunga aisi hi aur bhi stories time to time likhte rahe casi bhai.
once again thanx for this wonderful story.

thank you from the depth of my heart for this lovely review Immortal bro
I am happy that the story was of interest and it pleased.
thank you again, and yeah I will try my best to keep writing a few short stories when time allows.
thanks again bro

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Ye un dinon ki baat hai
​

First of all Thanks Samurai ji for writing this story.

This is my first story of VSC in XF as a reader and liked this story a lot.

Story me aapne dikhaya ki nafrat kisi ki bhi jindagi ko kis tarah tabaah kar sakta hai.

Iss story me aapne do love story ko dikhaya aur dono hi stories adhuri reh gayi kisi ki nafrat aur kisi ki swarth ki vajah se.

Kuch bade log ya fir kuch political parties ya koi swarthi log...Inka to kaam hi hai kisi ki faaidaa utha kar apna kaam nikalwana aur swarth pura karna...Aur issi swarth me na jaane kitni maasum logo ki jindagi bali chadh jaati hai.

Yaha bhi dharm ke naam me danga karwaa kar kitne maasum jindagi tabaah ho gaya.

Nafrat insaan ko paagal kar deta hai aur ye nafrat ek baar ho jaaye to puri puri jindagi kam pad jaata hai isse bhulaane me aur insaan to apni puri puri jindagi badla lene me bitaa dete hai.

Yaha pehle Firdaus ki bhai nafrat ka shikar ho gaya aur nafrat me itna andha ho gaya ki insaniyat hi bhul gaya.

Firdaus ki laakh koshish ke baawjud nafrat hi jeet gaya.

Aur fir wohi kahani Jannat ke saath...Gaurav aur uski family bhi nafrat me jeene lage...Haalaath ne unhe bhi nahi chhoda.

Galti kisi ki aur saja kisi ko.

Shayad hi Jannat aur Sameer ka pyar ko koi manjil mile iss nafrat se bhari samaaj me.

Firdaus ki koshish ya fir kuch log bhale hi koshish kyu kyu na kare kabhi iss nafrat ko mitaa nahi paayenge...Ek tarf kuch bund hai to dusri taraf laakho boond se bana samundar.

Story is based on harsh reality of our society...Jaha insaan dusre insaan ko insaan ke roop me naa dekh kar jajaati, dharm, rang, roop aur haisiyat se dekhte hai...Pata nahi ye kabhi khatm hoga bhi ya nahi...Shayad nahi...Ek do log ki koshish se to bilkul bhi nahi.

Aapne bahut acche se dikhaya ki nafrat jungle ki aag ki tarah hai...Bahut teji se failta hai aur sab ko jalataa hai...Aur issi nafrat me na jaane kitni maasum jindagi aur pyar jal kar raakh ho jaati hai.

Aise haalath me alag dharm me pyar karna bhi ek gunaah ban jaata hai.

Bura bhi laga Sameer aur Jannat ke baare me soch kar...Jaha unka pyar ko gunaah ki najar se dekha jaata hai aur iss pyar ka koi future nahi.


Story aur plot bahut hi accha laga...Ek flow tha story me jo last tak hi waisa hi tha jaise begining se...Har ek line aur paragraph ke saath story me interest bana raha...Ek baar me hi bina bore hue padh liya.

Aur sabse jyada pasand aaya iss story ka open ending...Aapne readers par hi chhod diya iska ending...Kuch naya to nahi lekin iss baat ko fir sochne par majbur kar diya ki aise danga se kya kuch ho sakta hai aur nafrat insaaniyat ko khaa jaati hai.

Really mind-blowing story ...Thanks for writing.

All the best for this contest.

 

[Champ_AK_81]

Dad and Son
​

Very nice story Casi sir.

Story starts with the father's love toward his son. Sahaj's love, care, sacrifice was something that every ideal father must have toward their child.

Their closeness and even everyoness misunderstanding them as brother shows their love. Sahaj as a father was honest to his role and responsibility of father. Not even thinking of another women in 15 years was something great.

This was the most ideal Dad and Son relation it could be.

But story changes after the entry of Nisha.

Nisha in this story taught two things from perspective of both Rahul and Sahaj.

Rahul...One must not love so blindly without knowing their partner much. True love is must but blind love is never. He was so much mad about Nisha that even he saw love in Nisha ignoring him.

He gave his life for that girl who had not even a slight remorse in his death. It teaches us that while loving someone we should know everything about them. Even a small mistake can be such dangerous.

Sahaj...His 15 years hardwork, all went in vain...Suddenly he became killer father from ideal father...He may not be wrong by not controlling his desire.

But he was wrong for betraying his own song. For first time it might be accidental or by mistake. But repeating some mistake he really did wrong.

Rahul's death was probably due to this. You can betray anyone and keep them in dark for few days, weeks, months or even year. But when they know truth, something like this happens.

There will be no second chance and time for regret. We must not betray anyone...Especially our close ones.

Nisha...One of the worst character I have ever read...Dont want to talk about this shameless girl who is happy even in someone' death.


Really great story Casi sir. Which made us think about to identify people's true color in time.

Every part and every shade in this story you wrote very well. From beginning to ending it was great with great plot and narration.

Thanks for writing this story sir. Again impressed with your story sir.

Will read your second story very soon sir. Thanks.

 

[Casinar]

Dad and Son
​

Very nice story Casi sir.

Story starts with the father's love toward his son. Sahaj's love, care, sacrifice was something that every ideal father must have toward their child.

Their closeness and even everyoness misunderstanding them as brother shows their love. Sahaj as a father was honest to his role and responsibility of father. Not even thinking of another women in 15 years was something great.

This was the most ideal Dad and Son relation it could be.

But story changes after the entry of Nisha.

Nisha in this story taught two things from perspective of both Rahul and Sahaj.

Rahul...One must not love so blindly without knowing their partner much. True love is must but blind love is never. He was so much mad about Nisha that even he saw love in Nisha ignoring him.

He gave his life for that girl who had not even a slight remorse in his death. It teaches us that while loving someone we should know everything about them. Even a small mistake can be such dangerous.

Sahaj...His 15 years hardwork, all went in vain...Suddenly he became killer father from ideal father...He may not be wrong by not controlling his desire.

But he was wrong for betraying his own song. For first time it might be accidental or by mistake. But repeating some mistake he really did wrong.

Rahul's death was probably due to this. You can betray anyone and keep them in dark for few days, weeks, months or even year. But when they know truth, something like this happens.

There will be no second chance and time for regret. We must not betray anyone...Especially our close ones.

Nisha...One of the worst character I have ever read...Dont want to talk about this shameless girl who is happy even in someone' death.


Really great story Casi sir. Which made us think about to identify people's true color in time.

Every part and every shade in this story you wrote very well. From beginning to ending it was great with great plot and narration.

Thanks for writing this story sir. Again impressed with your story sir.

Will read your second story very soon sir. Thanks.

Thanks very very much for this lovely review champ bro. i was not expecting any review anymore as i did not ask anyone to review but only posted my story in my siggy. there are few people who send messages to ask for reviews but i do not have this habit, so i am grateful to you for this unexpected lovely review bro.
and of course will be delighted to see your review on My hindi entry too.

 

[king cobra]

My review for Uska naam sahana hai..
wonderful story casi bhai maja aa gaya padhkar story me ek ladki ki bebasi jhalkti hai kaise usne itna sab bardast kiya aur last me usne wohi kiya jo karna chahiye.use aajadi mili maut ke sath.very painful but nice story bro

 

[Rahul]

my review for Dad And Son by Casinar
ye ek bhut hi adbudh kisam ki kahani hai
iss mein ek eisa baap jissne dusri shadi nahin karte hue apne bete ko bhut pyar se paal poss kar bada karta hai bina kissi bhi dusri aurat ke taraf dekhte hue.
aur bete ko ek ladki se pyar hota hai, magar kia vo ladki uss se pyar karti thi ya usska pyar ek tarfa tha?
magar wo ladki ladke ke baap par mohit hoti hai ya eisa samjha jaaye ke unnko apne jaal mein fansati hai.
ab baap pichle 15 saalon mein kissi bhi aurat ke taraf nahin gaya to ek jawan modern aaj ki jamane ki ladki ki chuwan aur pyar apne taraf aate hue dekh kar baap usski iskh mein par gaya aur seedhe seehde sex karne lage donon kyun ke ladki wohi chahti thi aur wo yeh sab pehle bhi kar chuki thi
aur dhire dhire ladki ladke se milna kum kiya magar baap se milti rahi barabar
baap ko patya chal gaya ke ladki usske bete se pyar vyar nahin karti thi

yeh ek eisi ladki hai jo dusron ka ghar barbaad karke chali jaati hai araam se jeise kuch hua hi nahin
haan afsos ke eisi ladkiyan, auratein sach mein hote bhi hein aur nisha ek eisi hi ladki thi
jab bete ne baap ko bisha ke saath sambhog karte hue dekha to vo pagla gaya aur
bhaagte hue raaste par nikla aur baap usske piche pareshan samjhane ke liye dauda magar bete ne jaan dedi apna
Aur Nisha bina kissi ko dekhe eisi nikli wahan se jeise kuch hua hi nahin
Nisha ka rang ab dikha ke wo keisi ladki thi
baap ne itne jatan se bete ko paal kar itne pyar se bada kiya aurek ladki ki khaatir ussi bete se haath dhona pada
bahut hi ache tarike se casinar ne iss kahani ko pesh kiya hai.
bahot hi behtareen dhang se sab kuch ek ek karke bayaan kiya gaya hai iss kahani mein jiss ne sabhi ke dil ko chhua hoga
one among the best hai mere hisab se.