Adultery छुटकी - होली दीदी की ससुराल में

[UDaykr]

Geat posts .... Keep it up but don't stretch with multiple characters. Previous one was to the point and was extremely erotic with title. I hope you will forward that.

 

[komaalrani]

इसमे कोई शक नही आपकी हर एक रचना अपने आप मे एक अलग ही स्वाद प्रस्तुत करती है और हम ठहरे स्वाद के दिवाने
मगर आप कहानी मे दोहवाली और लोकोक्ति का मिश्रण करते है क्या कहूँ दिल बाग बाग या ये कहूँ Garden Garden हो जाता है

thanks soooooooooooooooooo much

 

[Real@Reyansh]

दीदी update Please . . . .
Ab चुन्नू से और इंतज़ार नहीं होता
और ना ही जीजा जी खुद को और रोक पाएंगे

 

[erriction]

कोमल जी
रक्षाबंधन पर बहन की रक्षा के लिए आपकी जादुई कलम से कुछ विशेष आयेगा इसी आशा के साथ

 

[komaalrani]

कोमल जी
रक्षाबंधन पर बहन की रक्षा के लिए आपकी जादुई कलम से कुछ विशेष आयेगा इसी आशा के साथ

Today i am posting in JKG kindly check

 

[komaalrani]

Just Posted UPDATE in Joru ka Gullam, a mega update with 5 parts ,... do read and enjoy

Erotica - जोरू का गुलाम उर्फ़ जे के जी

भाई चढ़ा,... random coin toss और थोड़ी देर में जेठानी जी और नयी कच्ची कोरी बहिनिया, फटफटिया पर बैठी,... खेत, बगीचे, गाँव की सड़क,... लेकिन थोड़ी देर में वो लोग गाँव से बाहर,... संदीप ने पहले से ही तय कर लिया, उन लोगों के खेत बाग़ कई गाँवों में फैले थे , एक दूर के गाँव में उनका एक बगीचा भी था और...

exforum.live

 

[Real@Reyansh]

Just Posted UPDATE in Joru ka Gullam, a mega update with 5 parts ,... do read and enjoy

Erotica - जोरू का गुलाम उर्फ़ जे के जी

भाई चढ़ा,... random coin toss और थोड़ी देर में जेठानी जी और नयी कच्ची कोरी बहिनिया, फटफटिया पर बैठी,... खेत, बगीचे, गाँव की सड़क,... लेकिन थोड़ी देर में वो लोग गाँव से बाहर,... संदीप ने पहले से ही तय कर लिया, उन लोगों के खेत बाग़ कई गाँवों में फैले थे , एक दूर के गाँव में उनका एक बगीचा भी था और...

exforum.live

दीदी your style is really unique, bas maja aa gaya छुटकी की saandar आगाज़
चरण स्पर्श दीदी

 

[komaalrani]

Geat posts .... Keep it up but don't stretch with multiple characters. Previous one was to the point and was extremely erotic with title. I hope you will forward that.

Thanks so much,

Like every day is a new day, every story is a new story. In the previous story , sequel was actually a continuation and that is why in this forum both parts have been presented as a single story and that together even with a lot of comments number of pages have not crossed even 50. Earlier, stories had to be short because it has either to be mailed or there was a strict limit about number of words in a post . Secondly, i started writing from HILMS where one has to write in Baraha font, a bit complicated thing. It was a yahoo group and when i started posting in forums word limits were severe. HILMS had an advantage that they had stored stories in pdf form so if anybody wants to access my story he just have to go the files section. In the present arrangement if your story does not continue even a week, it will soon be relegated to page 50-60 and only very committed readers will be able to ferret it out . stories which are longish and more importantly gets more and regular comments are likely to keep on jumping to first few pages and garner more views and resultantly more comments.

I am neither saying nor justifying about the stretching of stories to the point where they lose there own purpose, and underlying thematic unity. One reason why i closed Mohe Rang de although there was a clamor for its extension. And i gave these details only for historical comparison, how Hindi erotica writing on net grew .

Now coming about this story and two characters Chandu and Chunnu.

basic leit-motif of this story remains Holi and in HOLI there has to be Devar Bhabhi. In the first part too, there were two, One was Sunil a distant relative and his friends and other was Kallu, a very interesting character, living just on the margins and let me repeat the lines from the story


मैं एकदम पास पहुँच के, एक पेड़ की आड़ में खड़े होके देख रही थी|

लेकिन...लग रहा था जैसे होली उन लोगों के घर को बचा के निकल गई थी|

जहाँ चारों ओर फाग की धूम मची थी, वहीं उसके देह पे रंग के एक बूंद का भी निशान नहीं था| चारों ओर रंगों की बरसात और यहाँ एकदम सूखा...होली में तो कोई भेद भाव नहीं होता, कोई छोटा बड़ा नहीं...लेकिन..|

मुझे बुरा तो बहुत लगा पर मैं समझ गई|

Now coming back to this story, there are two Devars Chandu and Chunnu, both are different one is very strong, muscular and sexually experience and other is a teenager, shy, inexperienced. but both are challenges to the narrator one has turned celibate dedicating life to wrestling and body building and other is too coy. She is a seductress par excellence . I am not a writer but i avoid creating cut-out cardboard characters, so i have to build them properly provide some background, description and introduction, like Chunnu has been introduced a young shy devar when narrator has first come as a bride.

another issue with this part is that normally my stories are in the first person which makes it very intimate but limits the place where a narrator can be so one has to to take resort to many devices, like somebody else telling something to narrator or a diary etc and secondly Chuutaki is going to play an important role. In the first part of the story, it was narrator and in second part it was hubby but in this , there are both.

I avoid dabbling in stories, ( can't not even read them) where A does with B and then with C and comes D who alsoare does with B and C and so forth with some dialogues and situations thrown in . Nothing wrong in them but it is just not my cup of tea and it reflects on my readers too. Those who painstakingly visit my pages, bear with all my shortcoming they are different .

But you are partially correct, i have lost the art of short story writing and believe me it takes much more effort, creative energy to write a good two page than 200 pages.

 

[komaalrani]

Next post thodi der men

 

[komaalrani]

छुटकी - होली दीदी की ससुराल में


भाग १८