★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW

STORY - Swipe Left

WRITER- humtum

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-743487

PLOT –is story ke kuch khas pahlu hai jo main samne rakhna chahunga

1.waqt,samay,time …ek chhota sa shabd lekin bahut mayane apne andr samte hue hai ,mayane kiske ??

Is jivan ke mayane

Aur sath hi iski khubsurati ye hai ki ise iska upyog hi meaningful banata hai,jaisa time ka upyog karoge jiwan usi disha me jata hai,ab ager iska upyog ladki patane me karo ya apne pariwar ki dekhbhal me …

2. paisa…ye bhi ek chhota sa shabd hai lekin duniya iske pichhe pagal hai,log pahale khusiyo ke liye paisa kamate hai aur fir paise me hi apni khusi dhundh lete hai

3.jarurte…ek aam insan ki kai basic jarurte hoti hai,aur kuch aisi jisme akarshan bahut hi jyda hota hai wo hai jism aur man ke sukh ki chahat….

Ab ye teen chije maine yanha isliye kahi kyoki ye story inhi chijo par ghumti hai ,ye ek transformation ki kahani hai ek insan me aaye ek badlaw ki kahani janha pahle to time ki kami se junjh rha tha paisa kamane me laga tha aur apni asali jarurt ko samjh nhi paa raha tha ,wahi ek ghtna aur usme badlaw aane shuru huye usne apna wakt apne pariwar ko diya,paise ko upyog ki wastu samjhane lga naa ki khusi ki ,aur apni asali jarurto ko samjha jo ki uska pariwar hi tha ……

Story line achchi hai,likha bhi achchi tarh se gaya hai ,ek msg ke sath story ko pesh kiya gaya hai…

Lekin jab maine padhna shuru kiya to mujhe isse thoda jyda ki ummid thi ,mujhe lag rha tha ki ek twist hoga aur kuch dhmaka hoga lekin aisa nahi hua dhamaka to nahi lekin ek sikh jarur writer ne di hai ,story ko justify bhi kiya hai jo ki bahut hi achchi bat hai ….



NOTE FOR WRITER – humtum bhai story apne bahut hi achchi likhi hai lekin jaisa maine pahle hi kaha jaise story shuru hui mujhe ek twist ke sath dhmake ki ummid thi ,khair aapne morality ke uper story likhi hai to meri dhamake wali ummid bekar ho gayi ,mere dimag me koi aur hi story pakni shuru ho gai thi ..

Mujhe laga ki wo kisi married ladki ke sath blind date ke liye taiyar hoga aur wo uski biwi niklegi sayad main is story ko likhta to kuch aisa hi hota ….lekin aapne ise kuch alg hi mukam me pahuchane ka plan kiya tha ,

Story aapne bahut achchi likhi hai,plot bhi naya laga aur styl bhi so padhne me maja aaya

Best of luck for contest….

 

[brego4]

JAD

Niks96

Great story writing dear very closer to reality and shows true face of what's happening today in countryside

Kisaan zameen bechta hai fir shehar mein makaan aur mehngi cars aur jab paisa khtam to na fir zameen hai aur na hi vyapaar

 

[humtum]

REVIEW

STORY - Swipe Left

WRITER- humtum

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-743487

PLOT –is story ke kuch khas pahlu hai jo main samne rakhna chahunga

1.waqt,samay,time …ek chhota sa shabd lekin bahut mayane apne andr samte hue hai ,mayane kiske ??

Is jivan ke mayane

Aur sath hi iski khubsurati ye hai ki ise iska upyog hi meaningful banata hai,jaisa time ka upyog karoge jiwan usi disha me jata hai,ab ager iska upyog ladki patane me karo ya apne pariwar ki dekhbhal me …

2. paisa…ye bhi ek chhota sa shabd hai lekin duniya iske pichhe pagal hai,log pahale khusiyo ke liye paisa kamate hai aur fir paise me hi apni khusi dhundh lete hai

3.jarurte…ek aam insan ki kai basic jarurte hoti hai,aur kuch aisi jisme akarshan bahut hi jyda hota hai wo hai jism aur man ke sukh ki chahat….

Ab ye teen chije maine yanha isliye kahi kyoki ye story inhi chijo par ghumti hai ,ye ek transformation ki kahani hai ek insan me aaye ek badlaw ki kahani janha pahle to time ki kami se junjh rha tha paisa kamane me laga tha aur apni asali jarurt ko samjh nhi paa raha tha ,wahi ek ghtna aur usme badlaw aane shuru huye usne apna wakt apne pariwar ko diya,paise ko upyog ki wastu samjhane lga naa ki khusi ki ,aur apni asali jarurto ko samjha jo ki uska pariwar hi tha ……

Story line achchi hai,likha bhi achchi tarh se gaya hai ,ek msg ke sath story ko pesh kiya gaya hai…

Lekin jab maine padhna shuru kiya to mujhe isse thoda jyda ki ummid thi ,mujhe lag rha tha ki ek twist hoga aur kuch dhmaka hoga lekin aisa nahi hua dhamaka to nahi lekin ek sikh jarur writer ne di hai ,story ko justify bhi kiya hai jo ki bahut hi achchi bat hai ….



NOTE FOR WRITER – humtum bhai story apne bahut hi achchi likhi hai lekin jaisa maine pahle hi kaha jaise story shuru hui mujhe ek twist ke sath dhmake ki ummid thi ,khair aapne morality ke uper story likhi hai to meri dhamake wali ummid bekar ho gayi ,mere dimag me koi aur hi story pakni shuru ho gai thi ..

Mujhe laga ki wo kisi married ladki ke sath blind date ke liye taiyar hoga aur wo uski biwi niklegi sayad main is story ko likhta to kuch aisa hi hota ….lekin aapne ise kuch alg hi mukam me pahuchane ka plan kiya tha ,

Story aapne bahut achchi likhi hai,plot bhi naya laga aur styl bhi so padhne me maja aaya

Best of luck for contest….

Thanks doctor saab , detail review dene ke liye
Sach kahu to maine bhi suru main yehi socha ki jis se date karega vo uski bibi hogi lekin ye predictable plot hota , aisa bahut cases me hua bhi hai.

As per contest requirement , Maine kuchh message ka socha middle me aur maine us angle ko mod diya , jis se last me thoda disappointment to mile lekin kuchh sikhne ko bhi mile.
Thans again

 

[Casinar]

The Devil Who Destroyed My Life
First of all I want to thank you for writing the story. I liked the way the story started. In this story, the word devil is used for drugs.
This minor word intoxication is very dangerous. The drug ruined the lives of many people and one of them is Shanaya. Shanaya was a very beautiful and nice girl. Shanaya had a boyfriend named Avinash. Both got married and all lived happily. Everything was going well, but Avinash got used to drugs and everything was ruined.
It is very easy to get intoxicated but it is very difficult to quit. Even today many youth in our country are suffering from this drug. The reason for all these things is the wrong path we have chosen. The government has opened several de-addiction centers for this. And it has improved the lives of many people, yet if we are unable to control our mind, then we become addicted to drugs again.
The same happened with Avinash. Avinash had everything, a very loving wife, a good mother, a good job, but this addictive habit ruined everything. Finally, a mother also regrets that she gave birth to this child. Life is beautiful if we live it properly. I will pray to God, never let this happen to anyone.
Through this story of yours we got to learn something new. The story was very good. The ending of the story was sad.
Casinar Ji, I liked your story very much, you have written every word of the story very beautifully. I sincerely hope you win this story competition.
Thank You...

Thanks very much Aakash bro. Happy to hv ur review here.
Thanks very very much.

 

[Rahul]

Review for - Khwaab-Ek Haqiqat
By Milan2010

bahut badhiya kahani hai dil ko chu liya bhai sabki madad karna achchi baat hai chahe insaan ho ya janwar ho magar hame help karni chahiye khud ke liye to sab jite magar hame is samaaj aur har jaruratmand ki help karni chahiye..mai aapko bhi 10 me 10 deta hun

 

[Casinar]

Review for Mera Hero
By Casinar

Bohat Acha plot tha casi Bhai . Narration top class . Ek bachi ek ladke ko kahin padi milti , aur wo ladka use Paal pos ke bada karta hai aur fir wo ladki Uske baare Mai kya sochti hai . Bohat ache se dikhaya hai end mujhe jyada Pasand aaya .
Thanx for this lovely story.
Best of luck for contest.

Shukriya Immo bro review ke liye

 

[Romeo 22]

Amar Kalpana by The Immortal
Immortal bhai aapka likha hu pahali baar padh rha hun agar xb pe nahi padha hoga to
First of all, excellent narration.. Just wow.. Ek flow me story padh gaya aur koi sentence dubara nahi padhana pada
Ab baat plot ki, well, plot bahut alag hai, bahut unique. Lekin problem ye hai ki suru me jitni ummeed badh gayi thi end us se thoda sa weak laga.. Mujhe laga kuchh bahut tagda mamala hai crime etc ka
Par fir bhi justified end hai story ka. Nothing wrong with story.
I liked it very much.
All the best for contest.

 

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW


STORY - Mera Hero


WRITER- @Casinar




LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-746447


PLOT – is story ko dekhte hi jis chij ne mujhe apni or akarshit kar liya wo tha iska presentation,kis font me likha jayega aur kis size me ye bhi aapki story ko akarshk bana deta hai ye maine abhi abhi sikha hai…to pahle to main is khoj me lag gaya ki isme kya upyog me laaya gaya hai aur ye secret mil gaya …


Font size -6


Font style – Georgia


To ab main bhi review isi me likhunga ..


Hero… ye ek aisa shabd hai jiske mayane hamare liye bas film ke parde par acting kar rha ek insan hokar rah gaya hai ,koi apne jism ki numais kar rha hota hai to koi apne chahre ki ranginiyo ki ,lekin ye samaj asali heroes ko ki kadra hi nhi karta,asal me unhe kabhi samjh hi nhi aata ki asali hero to wo aam insan hai jo apni majburiyo aur behaal jiwan ke bawjud bhi kisi ki madad ke liye taiyar rahta hai,


Is story me hero ko isi paribahsha me dekha gaya hai jaisa use hona chahiye,ek nawjaat shishu ka palan poshan karne wala,use har musibat se bachane wala,uski achchi jindagi ke liye wachanbaddh ,aur apni lakho majburiyo aur kamjoriyo ke bawjud use har khusi dene wala hi us ladki ka asali hero hai ,


Story shuru me dramatic hoti hai fir emotionl fir lagta hai ki ye adultery ki or turn legi lekin tab asali hero ka uday hota hai,


Asali hero wo nhi jo logo ki madad karta hai use ham hero kahte hai lekin asali ya khalish hero wo hai jo kisi ki madad unconditionally karta hai jisme uske khud ka koi bhi swarth nhi hota ……..


NOTE FOR WRITER – casi bhai aap itane senior writer ho ki ham jaise naye writers ke liye aapke story ko review dena ek tarh ki gustakhi hi hogi,maine ye gustakhi ki hai isliye mujhe maaf kare..


Main bas aapse itana kahna chahunga ki is story ko aap ager ek long aur episodic story ke rup me banaye to ye kaamal ki story banegi ,isme naa sirf romance ka balki action ,emotion,aur adultery ka bhi achcha scope hai ,short story ke rup me kahi kahi ye dil ko touch to karti hai lekin jitna emotion isme aana chahiye wanha par thoda kam lag rha hai ,long story me ye ek behtreen story banegi…….fir se ghustakhi maaf


Story ka plot bahut hi achcha tha aur aisi story dene ke liye bahut bahut sukriya ..


Best of luck for contest….

 

[Romeo 22]

Satwa Tona by Vijay2309
Wow what a story vj bhai
Mujhe pata hai aapka narration aur language par excellent command hai.. Flow ekdam jabardast... Kam shabdon me ek bandhi huyi shandar kahani..
Ek Baat batao usne apni book kyu kharid
Mast story hai, ekdam unique.. Aisi stories hoti hain jinke liye hamara forum pe aana saarthak hota hai.. Aur aisi kahaniya is contest ko safal banati hain. Maine abhi sari stories nahi padhi hain par jitni padhi hain unme se top 3 me jarur ho abhi tak..
All the best

 

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW

STORY - Ek Mukammal Mohabbat

WRITER- Notebook
LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-739622

PLOT – kya likhu is story ke bare me samjh hi nahi aa rha hai ,fir bhi ek koshis karta hu ….

Ek behad hi khubsurt story jise behad hi khubsurt tarike se likha gaya hai,plot wahi purana hai ek aam si love story jo hamesha dekhne aur padne ko milti hai,lekin writer ki lekhni ne ise maqbool bana diya hai …

Shuruwat behd hi halke fulke dahng se kiya gaya hai jo ki ek sama bandh deta hai,aur ending bahut hi sanjida …

Writer ki skill kamal ki hai jiske kuch namune pesh hai…

1.Wo sach me itni haseen thi ki aag ko bhi use dekh kar jalan hone lage

2.Doston Abba aur mera rishta un unche pahadon jaisa tha jo door se to bahut khoobsurat najar aate hai par kareeb jane par unme darare najar aati hain

3. Tum shayad wo dua ho jo bechain dilon ke rahat ke liye padhi gayi ho

4. Maine uske liye dargaah me puja ki to usne mere liye mandir me namaaj padh dali . Mai uski mehndi me apna naam khojta to wo meri poetry me apna wajood

5. Sari raat meri room ki chhat par charmarata pankha aur paas pada ammi ka dupatta mujhe lalkaar rahe the lekin bahan ki masoom laal aankhein mujh par najar rakhe huye thi jaise wo janti thi ki mera kaal usi ki wajah se mere kamre me nahi ghus paa raha tha .



Mere khyal se is story ke bare me bolne ke liye kuch nhi hai ,siway iske ki ye story apne nahi padi to pad lo warna pachhtaoge ...


NOTE FOR WRITER – bhai notebook main story ke bare me kuch nhi kahna chahunga siway iske ki maine yanha par post lagbhag sabhi story padi hai aur mere liye ye is contest ki winning story hai ….

Best of luck for contest….