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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

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Vijay2309

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कहानी - हॉन्टेड
लेखक - हमतुम :adore:


सबसे पहले तो कॉन्टेस्ट जीतने की एडवांस में ढेरों बधाई....:congrats:
अब हम आते है स्टोरी पे....
बचपन में हम सभी ने कुछ न कुछ ऐसा जरूर किया होता है जिसको करना हर किसी के बस की बात नहीं....चाहे चार मंजिला इमारत से छलांग लगा कर नीचे बजरी के ढेर पर कूदना या फिर ऊंचे ऊंचे पेड़ो पे चढ़ कर अपनी जान जोखिम मै डालना....दूसरो की बात क्यों करू मैंने कौनसे कम कारनामे किए है अपने बचपन में....लेकिन आपने जो कुछ भी इस कहानी मै लिखा उसने मुझे फिर से वो सब कुछ याद दिला दिया जो शायद मैं अब किसी को करता देखू तो थप्पड़ मार मार के लाल कर दू....

कहानी का प्लॉट नया तो बिल्कुल भी नहीं है लेकिन कहानी लिखी जिस अंदाज में गई है उसका कोई जवाब नहीं....अंग्रेजी स्टोरी मै काफी कम पढ़ता हूं क्योंकि अगर स्टोरी का फ्लो कहीं भी इधर उधर हुआ तो कहानी मेरे सर के ऊपर से जाने लगती है.....लेकिन आप की कहानी को मैंने एन्जॉय किया जैसे कहानी के किरदार की तरह में भी भूत बंगले में अपनी खोयी हुई बॉल ढूंढ़ रहा हूं....शुक्रिया इतनी बेहतरीन कहानी के लिए
इस कहानी के लिए में आपको 5 में से 5 अंक देता हूं....आधा अंक इस लिए ज्यादा दिया क्योंकि बॉल ढूंढने वाले को आखिर में छोरी भी मिल जाती है:D
 
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The Blue Prince

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Review on : Mera Hero..

Writer : Casinar

Dear Casinar bhai :ecs: :ecs:

Well the story made me really emotional :cry: Its very rare to find these type of :angel4: souls nowadays:anyone:. Really one do not need six pack abs , dashing :hellrider:or extraordinary super powers :rock:. Only need is pure :heart: ( Reality check - Money too :D) like satish.
I really loved the story very much :love: :love:


PLOT: The story revolves around two main characters a sweet girl :angel: and her hero ( :hint: ) satish. The "Mera Hero ":allclear: find little girl (illegitimate) lying on roadside dumped by her prostitute :shag: mom. I would not give further spoilers but will say that the story really worked due to bucket-full emotions poured by casinar bhai into its narration:verysad::verysad: . Be sure to read till the end or you will miss the emotional-painful pinch by casinar on the cheeks of every reader . :skull:

VERDICT: The writer has done commendable job :applause: :applause: in building the character of pooja and satish. The emotions are :heart: of the story and they are dipped in full innocence :flowers2:with lavishing coating. :superb::superb:. The flow of the story tastes like sweet butter :eating:. I read it in one go , thats the reason :declare: I feel it finishes very early btw was hoping for " Yeh :heart: maange more" :ecs:. Only minor complaint is that I wanted to dig more story:book: to get an Idea that how come satish easily change from being Sadakshaap:cowboy1: into a mature responsible:bigboss1: person for pooja.


Kudos to the lovely :cool1: casinar bhai and :thanks: for giving us such a sweet story.

The story is 10/10

REGARDS

THE BLUE PRINCE

 
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KR$NA

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Mitti Ki Khushbu By Chutiyadr


Bahut hi achchhi kahani likhi aap ne bhai . Desh bhakti aur fauj in dono topic ko Padh kar seena garw se chauda ho jata hai aur ajeeb sa josh aur junun mahsoos hota hai, Aap ki kahani ne bhi aisa hi feel karaya mujhe :love:

Raam sing ( Ram singh) ka nayi fasal ke intejar karne wala scene bahut achha ban pada hai. Raam sing ne desh ke liye apna beta kurban kiya hai aur uska pota taiyar hai desh ki seva ke liye . Wakai faujiyon ki kaum hi veerta hoti hai jo sharir me khoon ki jagah bahti hai.

Ranveer ke dilouge ne sach me mujhe bahut prabhavit kiya hai, Sundar shabdo ke chayan ne kahani ki sundarta par chaar chand laga diya hai :adore:

Sundar kahani likhi hai bhai aapne :dost:
 

KR$NA

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Wo Kaun Thi By chutiyadr


Bahut hi badhiya story likhi bhai jo suspence triller ka mix pack hai :adore: upar se devnagri mein to kahani par 4 chand laga diye aapne.

Kahani Madhu ki hai jo mansik bimari se pidit hai. Uske pita aur bhai jo salin pahle khatm ho chuke hai wo madhu ko aaj bhi saath mahsoos hote hain.
Pati ki bewfai ka sabak use aur kuch bhade ke logon ko Madhu maut ke ghat utar kar sikhati hai. Kahani fullon suspence wali hai jo end tak baabdh kar ramhti hai .

Bas ek sawal tha ki Madhu ka bhai to kalpna tha to usne revolver kaise diya apni bahan ko ?

Maine story ek saans me padh dala aur ant tak pahunchte pahunchte romanch se bhar gaya. Sab kuchh aise lag raha tha jaise aankhon ke samne film chal rahi ho .

Bahoot hi khoobsurati se likha hai aapne :superb:
 

KR$NA

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Love With Fixer By Damha


Ek khoobsurat si prem kahani likhi hai Damha bhai ne jiska flow best hai aur suspence last tak superb hai .

Arayan ka charecter kafi fast type hai jaisa ki usne flight me hi sab kar dala jo ki beti aur ruhi ki maujudgi se bhi nahi hichka .

Ruhi ka charecter bahut sweet banaya hai aap ne bhai . Pyaar,ishq , paisa , dhokha sab kuchh likha ek complete story likhi bhai ne . Mujhe kahani me Ruhi aur Aaryan ke kareeb aane wale scenes bahot pyare laga.

Narration mein thodi dikkat thi baki sab sahi hai :superb:
 
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KR$NA

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Kal ho na ho by Sagar


Bahut pyari par sad plot wali story hai sagar bhai ki .
Aksar aisa ho jata hai ki galti kisi ki nahi hone par bhi saja mil hi jati hai. Kaash wo ladki, ladke ki baat sun leti.
Khair tadapti rooh ne hi aakar ladki ko rahat to di . Wakai pyar maf kar bhi jinda rahta hai .

Story ka flow bahut achha tha par bhai ki bhasha par shayad pakad dheeli hai. Khair kahani ka plot bahut achchha hai aur likha bhi apne aacha hai

Thanks for writing beautiful story bhai :love:
 
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KR$NA

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Ehsaas by mohit


Bahut hi khoobsurat story likhi hai bhai ne.

Kahani anu aur Mohit ki kamjor understanding par hai. Mohih ka apni maa ki side lena Anu ko pasand nahi hai to wahi Mohit bhi Anu jataa nahi paata hai ki wo usase kitna pyar karta hai .

Amit jaise bhediye ko bakhubi dikhaya aap ne jo samaj me naye shikar ki talash me idhar udhar safed posh ban kar muh marte rahte hain .
Anu ke beti ne jab use Amit ki kartoit batayi to Anu chup rah gayi, Use chup nahi rahna tha . Amit ko uske is ghinaune harkat ki saja deni chaiye thi par kaisi vidambana hai hamare samaj ki agar anu kuchh ho halla karti tab bhi wo aur uski beti hi badnam hoti .
Bht achha flow hai story ka kab ant ho gaya pata hi nahi pada .

Lovely story beautiful narration :love:
 

KR$NA

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मोक्ष (प्यार, नफरत और डर) by kamdev99008

Khoobsurat kahani likh kar philosophical pyar ko darshaya hai bhai ne .

story ke naam se hi pata chal jata hai ki ye philosophical story hogi . prem ,nafrat aur fir dar ko cover kiya gaya hai plot mein

Kahani Ravi aur uski maa ke beech ke pyaar , nafrat aur kasak ko darshati hai . Ravi maa ka pyaar pane ki hasrart me apne bachpan ke pyar se door ho jata hai par maa ka pyaar use mil kar bhi nahi milta hai.
Bahut hi kushalta se likhi gayi hai story bhai aur flow bhi gajjab ka hai unique plot bhi hai aur apki hindi laajawab :superb:

Shukriya itni laajawab kahani padhane ke liye :love:
 
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KR$NA

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Adrishya bandhan by Mr.raj1100


Ek khoobsurat kahani par ant thoda sa ajeeb . Kahani ko jab padhna shuru kiya maine to mujhe laga ki ye ek akeli aurat ke sangharsh ki kahani hogi ki wo kaise apne bachchon ko palti hai .lekin story kuchh aur thi .

Anshika ki khoobsurti par mohit Takur saab me apne bete ki shadi karwa di Anshika se . Anshika ki khoobsurti par mohit suraj namard nikla.

Anshika ye kadwa sach apne seene me dafan karne ko taiyar ho gayi par suraj ye jillat nahi sah paya aur mar gaya .
Aur phir kahani me ajib twist aaya . Anshika ki akele pan ko door kiya uske bhai ne adrishya shakti hasil kar ke . Kahani ka ant kuchh jyada hi hat ke ho gaya bhai .
Khair mai ant tak samjh nahi paya tha ki kya hone wala hai :D
Achchi kahani hai bhai par ant aur bhi achchha kar sakte the:love:
 
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Chutiyadr

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Mitti Ki Khushbu By Chutiyadr


Bahut hi achchhi kahani likhi aap ne bhai . Desh bhakti aur fauj in dono topic ko Padh kar seena garw se chauda ho jata hai aur ajeeb sa josh aur junun mahsoos hota hai, Aap ki kahani ne bhi aisa hi feel karaya mujhe :love:

Raam sing ( Ram singh) ka nayi fasal ke intejar karne wala scene bahut achha ban pada hai. Raam sing ne desh ke liye apna beta kurban kiya hai aur uska pota taiyar hai desh ki seva ke liye . Wakai faujiyon ki kaum hi veerta hoti hai jo sharir me khoon ki jagah bahti hai.

Ranveer ke dilouge ne sach me mujhe bahut prabhavit kiya hai, Sundar shabdo ke chayan ne kahani ki sundarta par chaar chand laga diya hai :adore:

Sundar kahani likhi hai bhai aapne :dost:
KR$NA dhanwyad bhai story ko pasand karne ke liye aur itana khubsurat sa review dene ke liye,mujhe khusi hai ki aapko ye story pasand aayi ..:):)
 
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