★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Chutiyadr]

Wo Kaun Thi By chutiyadr


Bahut hi badhiya story likhi bhai jo suspence triller ka mix pack hai upar se devnagri mein to kahani par 4 chand laga diye aapne.

Kahani Madhu ki hai jo mansik bimari se pidit hai. Uske pita aur bhai jo salin pahle khatm ho chuke hai wo madhu ko aaj bhi saath mahsoos hote hain.
Pati ki bewfai ka sabak use aur kuch bhade ke logon ko Madhu maut ke ghat utar kar sikhati hai. Kahani fullon suspence wali hai jo end tak baabdh kar ramhti hai .

Bas ek sawal tha ki Madhu ka bhai to kalpna tha to usne revolver kaise diya apni bahan ko ?

Maine story ek saans me padh dala aur ant tak pahunchte pahunchte romanch se bhar gaya. Sab kuchh aise lag raha tha jaise aankhon ke samne film chal rahi ho .

Bahoot hi khoobsurati se likha hai aapne

KR$NA dhanywad bhai ki bhai ki aapne itana pyara review diya aur aapko ye story psand aayi mujhe bhaut khusi hui ...
aapne sawal kiya hai ki bhai ne madhu ko revolver kaise diya ...actually me usne diya nahi bas bataya ki madhu ke pas uska ek revolver hai ,use madhu ne khud hi chhipa kar rakha tha to usne use dhundh liya ,thoda detail me jaaye to jab uska bhai jinda tha tab usne use wo revolver di thi jise madhu abhi bhul chuki thi kyoki story me ye bhi bataya gaya hai ki madhu ke bhai ne kabhi use waps nahi manga ,kyoki bad me wo mar gaya to kaise waps mangta,lekin kyoki madhu ko lagta tha ki uska bhai usse bat kar rha hai matlab ki wo uske hi dimag ka ek hissa tha to jo madhu ko pata hai wo use bhi pata hai ,isliye jab aisi situation aayi ki madhu ko laga ki wo akash ka khoon kar de to uske diamg ke ek hisse ne vinay (madhu ke bhai ) ke jariye madhu ko ye karwane ke liye uksaya aur madhu ko us revolver ki yad aayi .......
ye sab point aisi stories me hidden hote hai maine socha tha ki iski psychology bhi achche se define karunga lekin short story me itana nahi likha ja sakta ki kya aur kyo socha gaya..isliye last me note likh diya tha ki ager is story se related koi question ho to jarur puchhe ,aapne question kiya mujhe khusi hui kyoki iske jariye mujhe ise define karne ka mouka mil gaya

 

[Seducer1-7]

Story = swipe left
Written by humtum

Ek sadharan si story jisme aage chalke ek bada massage hai, insaan zindagi me kahi bhi batak le lekin aana use uske pariwar ke paas hi vapas hota hai kyoki uski asli khushi uske apnobke saath hi judi rehti hai, koi samay pe ye baat samaj jaata hai kisiko kaafi kuch khone ke baad pata chalta hai, is baat ko itni saadagi se jis tarah humtum sir ne likha hai vo kaabile taarif hai bahut badiya kahani thi mujhe behad pasand aayi

 

[Seducer1-7]

Story = mera hero
Written by Casinar

Pehli baat toh casi bhai ne apni Hinglish pe kaafi homework kiya hai ye unki is story se hi jalakta hai, Hinglish story me vo thori bahut galtiya kar dete the but isme kaafi deep kaam kiya hai unhone specially last me satish ki vo conversation jisme vo ek tapori language me priya se baat karta hai, gazab, hairan kar dene wala part tha vo ab aate hai story pe, hero vese bhi koi six pack abbs wala nahi hota, ladkiyo ko hamesha pyar or care karne wale ladke jyada pasand aate hai, or isme priya ko bhi vesi hi feeling aayi satish ke pyar or care ko lekar, lekin satish bhi majboor tha, story last me thori emotional ho jaati hai, overall story, language sab mast tha maja aa gya casi bhai story pad ke

 

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW

STORY - Haunted

WRITER- humtum


LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-6#post-746549

PLOT – Sahi hai dar sirf aur sirf hamare dimag me hi hota hai …

simple aur sweet si story hai,lekin is simple si story me gajb ka suspense hai ,jise writer ne create kiya hai ,

Bade hi itmminan se likhi gayi story lagti hai ,har ek line bahut hi khubsurat hai ,jis tarh scenes ko define kiya gaya hai wo bhi bahut hi khubsurt ban pada hai,chhote chhote details par kaam kiya gaya hai jo ki is story ko aam se khas bana deti hai ..

Aur end me story ko purn rup se explain karne wali line-

Today he came to know that it was the fear of everyone and his mind that created the ghost.

Lekin iske alawa bhi is story me ek moral hai ..bhai ladki aapse wo bhi karwa sakti hai jisse aapki fatati hai




NOTE FOR WRITER – humtum bro gayab ki story hai ,mujhe sabse jyda pasand aayi aapki detailing,jo chhoti chhoti chijo ko aapne focus kiya hai wo story ka level aur bhi jyda badha deta hai ..aur end ke liye ek sahi line chuni hai aapne…

Best of luck for contest….

 

[Casinar]

My review for
Ek Mukammal Muhabat
By
Notebook
Iss kahani ko padhne k baad ek hi jumla banta hai; "Ek behtareen cute si love story"
Magar eise love stories main ne pichle 10 saal mein itne padhe hue hein k issko padhte waqt anticipate kar liya jata ke aage ki hone wala hai.
Last part to pakka yakeen ho gaya tha pehle se hi k heroine ya to paagal haalat mein ya vidhwa k roop mein ya phir kissi aur bure haal mein hero se milegi. Main yahan apni personal tajurbe ki baat kar raha hoon. Ye zaroori nahin k har paathak k liye eisa hi ho. Jiss kissi ne kabhi eisi love story nahin padha usske liye zaroor ye ek naayaab kahani hogi.
Ab iss rachna ko kiss tarah se likha gaya wo kamaal ki hai. Writer ne pure mehnat se ji jaan se likha hai ye nazar ata hai. Chand jumlon ko bahot hi behtareen tarike se pesh kiya gaya hai. Bahot ache shabdon ka bhi istemaal kiya gaya hai anya jagahon par.
Thoda bahot poetic language bhi istemaal hua hai jo romantic lamhon ko bahot suit kiya hai.
Behrehaal main notebook bhai ki pahadi wale baba kahani se ziada prabhavit hua. To mere liye wo kahani iss kahani se bahot behtar hai. Ab zaroori nahin k judges ke bhi yehi khayaal ho
Ye meri zaati opinion hai.
All the best notebook bhai.

 

[Casinar]

My review for
Swipe Left
By
Humtum
Mujhe ye kahani bahot passand aaye. Simple hai nagar dumdaar hai. Ek shaadi shuda insaan aksar bhatak jata hai. Seikron eise shadi shuda mard hote hein jinnke ghar mein ek pyari si wife hoti hai jo ussko unconditionally pyar karti hai, pyar ke saath saath usska ghar aur bachon ko bhi sambhaalti hai, mard ye samajhta hai k kama kar ghar mein paise de diye, ghar ke sabhi samaan kharid liye, sab ko haq k paise de diye buss yehi usska farz hai. Lekin eisa nahin hota yehi iss kahani mein humtum bhai ne ek famous dating site ko example ke taur par istemaal karke dikhaya hai.
Mard bhatakne mein awwal hai, kutte ki jaat kehte hein in general mardon ko jo jahan mawka mila munh maarne chale jaate hein.
Iss mein sanghat ka assar bhi hota hai jeise iss kahani mein hero ka dost tha jissne tinder k baare mein bataya hero ko aur chala hero wohi karne jo dost ne kaha.
Married life ek bahot badi zimedaari hoti hai aur ussko nibhana padta hai kissi bhi haal mein. Qurbaniyan deni padti hai, samjhaute karne padte hein married life ko successful banaane ke liye. Yeh bhi Humtum bhai ne iss kahani mein dikhane aur samjhane ki koshish kiye hein.
Shadi shuda mard behek to sakte hein ek beauty queen k saamne, aakhir mard hai, to sochna ye chahiye husbands ko kia usski wife nahin behek sakti kissi casanova type mard ke saamne? Agar husband kare to sahi aur wife kare to ghalat?
Iss kahani ka hero chala gaya uss ladki se milne bhi bina soche ke jab wo office mein hota aur usske ghar koyi ghair mard ata usski wife se weise hi milne tab kia hota?
Mere khayaal se to ussko khud bete ke uss haadse se pehle ussko apne antar aatma ko tatolna chahiye tha uss ladki se milne se pehle kyunke kitni baar usski wife ne ussko apne bete k baare mein keh diya tha.
Ab agar bete ka wo haadsa nah hota to husband ne uss raat ko overtime ya meeting ka bahana bana kar apni raat rangeen kar liya hota, bewafaayi kar liya hota.... yeh hai assal kahani ki message ke wafaa karo, jiss ke saath umr bhar jine marne ki kasmein khaaye hein usske saath zindagi bhar nibhao chaahe kuch bhi ho jaaye. Chaahe koyi bhi pari saamne aa jaaye mat bhulo ke ghar par ek family hai jisska tumhara intezar, jissko tumhari zaroorat hai. Yeh hai Humtum bhai ki iss kahani ki message.
Umeed hai ke ye message aaj ke zamane ke shadi shuda logon tak pahunche aur weh isska behtar upyog karen.
Behtareen kahani hai Humtum bhai ek zabardast message ke saath. Mujhe behad passand aya.
Writing, narrative description sab kuch behtareen hein. Kahin bhi flow nahin chhuthi kahani ki bilkool barkaraar raha shuru se end tak kahani ne paathak ko juda rakha.
All the best Humtum bhai iss behtareen kahani ke liye.

 

[The Immortal]

Review for The Devil Who Destroyed My Life
By Casinar

First of all thank you casi sir for this wonderful story .
Story plot is great , narration .
Apki lekhniy ko review krna hamare Jaise new borns ke liye ghustakhi hai , isliye pehle hi maafi mang Raha Hu .
Story hai housewife ki jiska pati addicted ho jata drugs Ka , Uske baad wo kitna bardast Karti hai , uska ignore Karna , cheejo Ka bechna , chhillana , but still she loves him very much , I like this part of story very much . Kaise wo Usko drugs chhudwane ke liye rehabilitation center le jati hai or wapis pa Bhi leti hai but wo fir se drugs addicted ho jata hai .
I like the character of her mother in law , kind , loving , careful .
Is story Ka best part mujhe iski ending lagi and Avinash ki mom ke last words.
Story bilkul simple hai but sabdo Mai bohat gehrai hai . Sab kuch Aisa laga Jaise koi movie chal rhi hai .
Once again thank you for this wonderful story .
Best of luck for the contest

 

[The Immortal]

Amar Kalpana by The Immortal
Immortal bhai aapka likha hu pahali baar padh rha hun agar xb pe nahi padha hoga to
First of all, excellent narration.. Just wow.. Ek flow me story padh gaya aur koi sentence dubara nahi padhana pada
Ab baat plot ki, well, plot bahut alag hai, bahut unique. Lekin problem ye hai ki suru me jitni ummeed badh gayi thi end us se thoda sa weak laga.. Mujhe laga kuchh bahut tagda mamala hai crime etc ka
Par fir bhi justified end hai story ka. Nothing wrong with story.
I liked it very much.
All the best for contest.

Romi sir Ka review
First of all a big big thank you for your wonderful review. It means a lot to me .
Apke Jaise bade writer se itna Acha review milna hi Mere liye bohat badi baat hai . Apko meri mehanat Pasand aayi ye ek dibbe se Kam nhi .
Waise Maine pehle socha tha Koi crime seen dalu but fir ye story unique Nahi reh jati isliye simple hi Rakhi.
Once again thank you for your wonderful review.

 

[The Immortal]

Review for कलंक
By Romeo 22

First of all thank you for this lovely story
Hum is qaabil to Nahi ki apki story ka review de , isliye pehle hi maafi Chahta Hu .
Ek bohat behatreen peshkas hai ye story . Aur Jo is story Mai char Chand lagati hai wo hai apki lekhniy , bohat Achi pakad hai sabdo par , isliye ek Baar Mai hi Puri story padh gaya aur Jaise Jaise padhta gya ,ye story Dil Mai utarti Gayi , jabardast narration .
Story Mai 2 part hai aur dono kamaal ke hai , mujhe 1st part bohat Pasand aaya aur 2nd part usse bhi jyada Pasand aaya. Story khatam hone ke baad bhi Mai story Mai Raha reason is story ki open ending aur mujhe open ending wali stories bohat Pasand hai Jo bohat saare swal chhod jati .
Once again thank you for this lovely story .
Best of luck for the contest

 

[KR$NA]

KR$NA dhanywad bhai ki bhai ki aapne itana pyara review diya aur aapko ye story psand aayi mujhe bhaut khusi hui ...
aapne sawal kiya hai ki bhai ne madhu ko revolver kaise diya ...actually me usne diya nahi bas bataya ki madhu ke pas uska ek revolver hai ,use madhu ne khud hi chhipa kar rakha tha to usne use dhundh liya ,thoda detail me jaaye to jab uska bhai jinda tha tab usne use wo revolver di thi jise madhu abhi bhul chuki thi kyoki story me ye bhi bataya gaya hai ki madhu ke bhai ne kabhi use waps nahi manga ,kyoki bad me wo mar gaya to kaise waps mangta,lekin kyoki madhu ko lagta tha ki uska bhai usse bat kar rha hai matlab ki wo uske hi dimag ka ek hissa tha to jo madhu ko pata hai wo use bhi pata hai ,isliye jab aisi situation aayi ki madhu ko laga ki wo akash ka khoon kar de to uske diamg ke ek hisse ne vinay (madhu ke bhai ) ke jariye madhu ko ye karwane ke liye uksaya aur madhu ko us revolver ki yad aayi .......
ye sab point aisi stories me hidden hote hai maine socha tha ki iski psychology bhi achche se define karunga lekin short story me itana nahi likha ja sakta ki kya aur kyo socha gaya..isliye last me note likh diya tha ki ager is story se related koi question ho to jarur puchhe ,aapne question kiya mujhe khusi hui kyoki iske jariye mujhe ise define karne ka mouka mil gaya

maine hadbadi me padha tha to gaur nahi kiya, waise bhi flow badhiya hone pe log story ke beech me padhna chhod kar dimag nahi lagate hai isiliye miss ho gaya wo part mere se mast story likha hai aapne