★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[kamdev99008]

TITLE - LOVE WITH FIXERR

LANGUAGE- HINGLISH

WRITER - Damha

ahmad (mirror id damha ) bhai ki ye kahani shuruat me ek aam kahani ki tarah paisa aur pyar ki lagi........lekin aage badhne par jab pari ki kahani samne ayi to aryan ke ek naye roop ka pata chala .... wo wastav mein insaniyat ki ek misaal tha............ jis aurat ne paise aur power ke liye uska pyar hi nahi uska ghar aur apni beti bhi thukra di............usi ki beti ko palna usne apni jindgi ka maqsad bana liya..............
soniya ka to koi character hi nahi........ jo tha..... wo bhi characterless
ruhi....... rahhes bap ki confused beti.......... jise ghar parivar nahi mila..... bas paisa mila........ aur pyar bhari batein sunkar hi kisi se bhi impress ho jati hai....... confused mind
kahani likhne ka andaj average se oopar raha.......... koi suspense nahi banaya lekin jis tarah se ghatnakram dikhaya.... ek suspense thriller ki tarah bahut se raaj dhire dhire khule

is kahani ko 10 me se 7 ank

 

[Chutiyadr]

TITLE - MITTI KI KHUSHBU

LANGUAGE- HINDI

WRITER - CHUTIYA DR

kahani ka subject bahut respected hai.... lekin bahut repeated bhi hai..........aam taur par hum deshprem ko sirf fauj se jodkar dekhte hain.... aur baki sabko aur unke desh prem ko darkinar kar dete hain........... is kahani me halanki ise highlight to kiya gaya hai bar-bar ki sirf fauj se hi nahi kisano se bhi desh ki raksha hoti hai.... deshwasiyo ki raksha hoti hai... kisan ka yogdan kisi fauji se kam nahi.......... jaisa swargiya Lal Bahadur Shastri ji ne kaha tha "Jai Jawan Jai Kisan" arthat kisan bhi ek fauji jawan ki tarah samman pane ke adhikari hain........ lekin is kahani mein hui ghatnao me aisa kahin bhi nahi laga.......... balki aisa mehsus karaya gaya ki apke liye desh sewa ki pehli shart fauji ban jana hai........... uske bad jab ap fauji nahi bane reh sakte tabhi secondry stage me kisan banein.... yehi ram singh ne kiya......... yehi sochkar uska beta fauj me bharti hua....... aur yehi uske pote ne bhi seekha.... ki pehle fauji bano....... fir jab fauji na raho tabhi kisan ban'na hai...................... lekin kisan bane rehna kisi ki bhi prathmikta nahi rahi.... unke liye kisaani humesa secondry option raha.........
ye akele dr sahab ki hi nahi................ desh ke bare me likhnewale aur padhnewale bhi... adhikansh logo ki soch hai ki desh sewa sirf fauji hi karte hain.... baki to sab secondry hain.......... lekin me manta hu har vyakti jo is desh me rehkar apne liye bhi kuchh kar raha hai...... wo desh sewa hi hai....... kam se kam sarkar par bojh to nahi dalega ya ...kuchh bojh kam karega....... sabse badi desh sewa taxpayers karte hain........... jinke kamaye paiso ke tax se sarkar aur fauj ka kharcha chalta hai.....

ab writing skills............ dr sahab ke likhne ke andaj ke to ham sabhi kaayal hain humesha se........... is kahani ko bhi inke narration style ne bandh ke rakha .............

me is kahani ko 10 me se 5 ank deta hu.......... dr sahab ki lekhan shaili aur kahani ki laybaddhta ke liye

kamdev bhai honest review ke liye bahut bahut dhnaywad ...
aapki soch se main bhi sahmat hu lekin kya hai na ki ager army na ho to is duniya me baki professions bachnege hi nhi ,isliye israil jaise desh me har insan ko army ki training karwai jati hai aur kuch din wanha seva den aniwary hai ,jab shanti ho to baki ke professions ko falne fulane ka aur desh ko aage badhane ka mouka milta hai...khair ye alag topic hai ..
fir se story ko padne aur review dene ke liye dhanywad ,and you are my one of the best and honest critics so i respect your opinions always ...
lekin 5/10 ye rating kuch jyda hi nahi ho gaya story ke hisab se

 

[kamdev99008]

Title- "Kal ho na ho"
Language - Hindi
Writer - Saagar
chamatkar me to me yakeen nahi rakhta lekin actual me is kahani ka sandesh sahi hai......... jo karna hai abhi karo.... fir shayad ap wo kar hi na sako........ jaise wo ladki us ladke se dobara bat kar hi nahi payi............. aur
jab humse koi galti ho jaye to use sudharne ki koshish karni chahiye na ki atmhatya ya kuchh aisa hi karke.......jindgi se bhago mat....... ye socho ki us galti ko khud ya koi aur fir na dohraye.........isliye us galti ke sudhar me lag jao.......

achchi kahani hai.... lekin llikhne ka tareeka aisa hai ki padhkar samajhna thoda mushkil laga.... kuchh ka kuchh samajh ata hai kahi-kahi pe to

is kahani ko me 10 me se 5 ank deta hu.....

 

[kamdev99008]

TITLE - EHSAAS
LANGUAGE - HINGLISH
WRITER - mohit98075
Ye kahani jindgi ke ek bahut bade sach ka aina dikhati hai................mana ki jindgi se sabko kuchh na kuchh chahiye hi hota hai... lekin humari chahto ki had unke dayre ko paar na karein jinhein humne apnaya hai......... aisa nahi ki anu ko apni jindgi me rang bharne ka hak nahi.... lekin ye faisla use khud tak hi lena hoga........ kyonki neha ko apne faislo me shamil karne ka use hak nahi....... neha ko bhi use wahi hak dena hoga.... apni jindgi ke faisle lene ka jaise wo khud ke liye chahti hai........ na ki uspar apne faisle thop de
bhaarat hi nahi duniya bhar me har maa-baap sirf apni khushi ke liye nahi ghar banate aur chalate ........ balki apni santan ki khushi ke liye samjhaute karke bhi jude rehte hain...... agar ye moh hi chhod diya jaye to hi apne liye jiya ja sakta hai.............
aisa bhi nahi ki har stree ko apne pati se ya purush ko apni patni se sath rehne ki wajhah se prem ho jayega.......... lekin kuchh apwado ko chhod dein to har purush aur stree ko santan se prem jarur hota hai........ chahe sath rahe ya na rahe.....is kahani me bhi dur rehte huye bhi neha se jo prem mohit ko tha wo amit ko shayad kabhi nahi ho sakta..... kyonki amit ki nazar me neha bhi anu ki tarah ek anjan stree hi hai....... aur normally ek anjan purush aur stree ke beech akarshan sirf sharirik hi hota hai.... kitni bhi lachchhedar batein ki jayein......... lekin yehi katu satya hai.......... halanki ye akarshan parichit hone par bhi hota hai.... lekin wahan moh aur sambandh tootne ka dar humesha kadam badhane se rok leta hai..... jo aparichit ke mamle me lagu nahi hota

khair kahani bahut gambhir vishay par hai.....
me is kahani ko 10 me se 8 point deta hu

 

[kamdev99008]

Adrishya bandhan....
Mr.raj1100
hindi
ye kahani mujhe kisi bhi angle se ultimate nahi lagi............. fantassy hai ek bhai chamatkar dwara bahan ke sath uske mare huye pati ki atma ke roop me sambhog karta hai......aur uski bahan bhi ye mankar uska sath deti hai ki uska pati marne ke bad bhi usse sambhog karne aya hai
ye ek tarah ki mansik beemar ke man me chal rahi baton ki tarah lagi

is kahani ko me 10 me se 2 ank deta hu....... kewal lekhan shaili ke

 

[Chutiyadr]

REVIEW

STORY - Delusion

WRITER- harshit1890

LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xfo...2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-743528

PLOT – bahut hi fadu type ki story hai …

Ek insan jo ki jinvan se dukhi tha uske man me ek aise jivan ki kamna thi jise wo jina chata tha ……..aager kya hua ye story pad ke hi jana jaye to behter hoga …

Plot bahut hi achcha tha ,aur story ek flow me chalti hai,sotry kahi boring nahi karti balki bahut hi intresting hai …

NOTE FOR WRITER – bhai mystery bahut hi kamal ki story likhe ho ,pahle mujhe laga ki bande ko koi superpower mil gayi ho fir akhir me sach ka pta laga ,bahut hi achcha …

Best of luck for contest….

 

[kamdev99008]

Title - एक छोटी सी प्रेम गाथा
hindi
Sanskari Larka
ye ek pati ka samarpan hai patni ke prati........ uske dard ko kam nahi kar sakta lekin uske dukh ko kam kar diya.... use ye ahsas na hone diya ki wo uske dard ko janta hai........... bahut badhiya tareeke se bahut kam shabdon me apne is rishte ko nibhane ki gehrai ko mehsus karaya.......... yehi ahsas hai jo 2 bilkul anjan logo ko unke jeevan ke sabse majboot rishte me bandhkar rakhta hai.... prem bandhan

is kahani ko 10 me se 8 ank deta hu

 

[kamdev99008]

TITLE - THE LUNCH BOX STORY
LANGUAGE - HINGLISH
Damha
jindgi me apko apke karmo ka fal awasya milta hai....achchha ya bura.........jaise bhi karm kiye ho
haan,samay jarur lag sakta hai......... lekin wo fal jab milta hai.........wohi sahi samay hota hai
isliye jeevan me sabkuchh aj ke fayde ke liye mat karo...........kuchh aisa bhi karo jisme aj apka fayda nahi lekin dusre ka fayda ho raha ho

achchhi kahani hai

is kahani ko me 10 me se 7 ank deta hu

 

[kamdev99008]

Title -- " Baba ki pahadi "
Language -- Hinglish
Notebook
bahut jabardast chitrankan aj ki andhi daud ka........... paisa, naam aur kamyabi ke peechhe bhagte bhagte log itna age nikal jate hain ki jinke liye wo kar rahe hain wo bhi bahut peechhe chhoot jate hain..........fir is naam, paise, kamyabi ka mol kya reh gaya..........ye tab samajh me ata hai jab jindgi me akele pad jate hain............ kyonki khushi ho ya gam.... apne chehre par nahi dikhta......koi doosra hona chahiye jiske chehre ko dekhkar us ahsas ko mehsoos kiya ja sake........
ant me jo kadam udayan ne uthaya.........wo koi ahmiyat nahi rakhta.... uske atmhatya kar lene se jo ho gaya wo badala nahi ja sakta

is kahani ko 10 me se 9 ank

 

[kamdev99008]

TITLE : ISHQ WALA LOVE
LANGUAGE: HINGLISH
The Blue Prince
ek fantastic love story......... jindgi me humein apne sirf khushiya dene ko hi nahi milte......... gam bhi sabse jyada apno se hi milte hain.............sirf jati dharm ka masla nahi hai ye........... jyadatar maa-baap, ghar-parivaar ke log bina wajah bhi bachchon ki pasand ko isliye reject kar dete hain.... ki unko lagta hai ki bachchon ki jindgi ke faisle lena bachchon ka nahi maa baap ka hak hai...... aur is hak ko wo bachchon se bhi jyada ahmiyat dene lagte hain.............

is kahani ko 10 me se 6 ank