★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Notebook]

REVIEW

STORY - Ek Mukammal Mohabbat

WRITER- Notebook
LINK – https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2019-entry-thread-★☆★.6804/page-5#post-739622

PLOT – kya likhu is story ke bare me samjh hi nahi aa rha hai ,fir bhi ek koshis karta hu ….

Ek behad hi khubsurt story jise behad hi khubsurt tarike se likha gaya hai,plot wahi purana hai ek aam si love story jo hamesha dekhne aur padne ko milti hai,lekin writer ki lekhni ne ise maqbool bana diya hai …

Shuruwat behd hi halke fulke dahng se kiya gaya hai jo ki ek sama bandh deta hai,aur ending bahut hi sanjida …

Writer ki skill kamal ki hai jiske kuch namune pesh hai…

1.Wo sach me itni haseen thi ki aag ko bhi use dekh kar jalan hone lage

2.Doston Abba aur mera rishta un unche pahadon jaisa tha jo door se to bahut khoobsurat najar aate hai par kareeb jane par unme darare najar aati hain

3. Tum shayad wo dua ho jo bechain dilon ke rahat ke liye padhi gayi ho

4. Maine uske liye dargaah me puja ki to usne mere liye mandir me namaaj padh dali . Mai uski mehndi me apna naam khojta to wo meri poetry me apna wajood

5. Sari raat meri room ki chhat par charmarata pankha aur paas pada ammi ka dupatta mujhe lalkaar rahe the lekin bahan ki masoom laal aankhein mujh par najar rakhe huye thi jaise wo janti thi ki mera kaal usi ki wajah se mere kamre me nahi ghus paa raha tha .



Mere khyal se is story ke bare me bolne ke liye kuch nhi hai ,siway iske ki ye story apne nahi padi to pad lo warna pachhtaoge ...


NOTE FOR WRITER – bhai notebook main story ke bare me kuch nhi kahna chahunga siway iske ki maine yanha par post lagbhag sabhi story padi hai aur mere liye ye is contest ki winning story hai ….

Best of luck for contest….

Bhai jeet haar se jyada khushi aap jaise bade writer ki tarif se milti hai . Aap ka bht bht shukriya bhai itni gahrayi se kahani padhne aur pasand karne ke liye . Kahani likhte samay jeet haar ek baar bhi dimag me nahi aati par pasand aayegi sabko ya nahi ye baat kam se kam 100 baar to aa hi jati hai aur fir jab aisa review mil jata hai to bas din ban jata hai once again thank you so much bhai for reaching and liking this story

 

[Notebook]

Baba Ki Pahadi
By Notebook

achi story hai start me jb larki story suna rahi thi to mujhe laga ke larke aur larki me koi love trieangle ho ga but baad me wo baap beti nikle upar se beti bhootni bohat deep dailouge the bohat kuch daikhne ko mila story me

Thanks Damha bhai kahani ko padhne aur pasand karne ke liye . Haan wo bhootni thi aisi beti jo apne baba ko ek jhalak dekhne ke liye tadap rahi thi . Bhai pyaar to khud me anokha hota hi hai par baap beti ka pyar duniya me sabse jyada pavitra hota hai . Beti uski sanskaron ka aaina aur mohabbat ki poonji hoti hai .

 

[Notebook]

My review for
Ek Mukammal Muhabat
By
Notebook
Iss kahani ko padhne k baad ek hi jumla banta hai; "Ek behtareen cute si love story"
Magar eise love stories main ne pichle 10 saal mein itne padhe hue hein k issko padhte waqt anticipate kar liya jata ke aage ki hone wala hai.
Last part to pakka yakeen ho gaya tha pehle se hi k heroine ya to paagal haalat mein ya vidhwa k roop mein ya phir kissi aur bure haal mein hero se milegi. Main yahan apni personal tajurbe ki baat kar raha hoon. Ye zaroori nahin k har paathak k liye eisa hi ho. Jiss kissi ne kabhi eisi love story nahin padha usske liye zaroor ye ek naayaab kahani hogi.
Ab iss rachna ko kiss tarah se likha gaya wo kamaal ki hai. Writer ne pure mehnat se ji jaan se likha hai ye nazar ata hai. Chand jumlon ko bahot hi behtareen tarike se pesh kiya gaya hai. Bahot ache shabdon ka bhi istemaal kiya gaya hai anya jagahon par.
Thoda bahot poetic language bhi istemaal hua hai jo romantic lamhon ko bahot suit kiya hai.
Behrehaal main notebook bhai ki pahadi wale baba kahani se ziada prabhavit hua. To mere liye wo kahani iss kahani se bahot behtar hai. Ab zaroori nahin k judges ke bhi yehi khayaal ho
Ye meri zaati opinion hai.
All the best notebook bhai.

Thank you so much casi bhai kahani ko padhne ke liye . Ye kahna to sahi nahi hoga ki aapko pasand nahi aayi kyu ki aap ki pahli hi line me dher sara pyaar tha haam kam pasand aayi .

Bhai mai sach me aap ki har baat se sahmat hoon par jaisa ki aap ne kaha ki plot itna purana hai ki pichhale 10 saal me aapne kayi dafa padha to bhai yakeen maniye 10 saal pahle mai itna bada hi nahi tha ki aise pyaar ke peechhe ke feelings aur pain ko samjh pata aur doosri baat aap ne dawa kiya ki ant aap asani se guess kar sakte ho aur aap ne teen option de diye khair bhai jab mai plot khoj raha tha to mujhe itna to samjh aa gaya tha ki agar love story likhni hai to plot purana hi lena hoga kyu ki aaj kal love stories hi love ke bina ho gayi hain ( talking about real life love stories ) to maine ye wala plot utha liya kyu ki shayah sabse asahay inhi pyar hota hai . Is baare me jyada bolna to fijool hoga lekin mujhe aap ka review ka first line bahut pyara laga

 

[kamdev99008]

DOSTI , PYAR AUR JINDEGI
hindi
Rbcl.007
bhai apne kahani achchi likhi hai.... lekin ek normal positive situation ko frustration ka jaama pehnakar last me bahut lamba bhashan bhi de diiya.... jiski koi na jarurat thi.... na koi meaning....... ek ladke aur ladki ya 2 ladke ya 2 ladkiyo ke beech mein hi dosti nahi hoti...... dosti rishto mein bhi hoti hai............. aur sabse jyada dosti ki ahmiyat aur jarurat pati-patni ke rishte me hoti hai.... kyonki shareer me to un dono ke beech sabkuchh khula hota hai.... jitna ki shayad kisi aur se bhi nahi ho sakta... ya nahi hona chahiye...........
ab agar wo dono man se bhi khul jayein ek dusre ke dost ban jayein to.... usse achchha unki jindgi me kya hoga...... yahan to unko ek opportunity mili man se pehle hi dost the..... to unka vaivahik jeevan aur bhi behtar rahega........
aur rahi bat pyar, ishq, mohabbat........... ye sab dimag ka fitoor hai........... mein practically anubhav kar chuka hoon.......... meri patni ko meine shadi ke bad hi dekha...humne ek dusre ko dost banaya... kabhi man ka kuchh nahi chhipaya jaise tan ka nahi chhipaya......... aj mere unse itni achchhi tuning hai jitni ki kisi bhi premika se nahi bani........

is kahani ki poori theme is chheej ko highlight karti hai ki ye dono apas me ek dusre ko jitna samajhte the...utna kisi dure ko nahi samajh sakte.... us nazariye se in dono ki shadi ho jana koi tragedy nahi........ ek bahut bada gift hai......as a perfect couple jindgi jeene ke liye...... ye khushi har kisi ko nahi milti.... isiliye aj shadi ke 50% ratio me divorce ho rahe hain.............. bas apna mindset badalein aur think positive.............. shadi sirf pyar se nahi.......... ek dusre ko samajhne aur vishwas karne se jyada kamyab hoti hai
ab ate hain apke lekhan par...................
apne kahani ko simply paragraph me ..... bina samvad ke nibandh ki tarah likh diya...aur last me ek bahut bada pravachan jo logically kahin bhi fit nahi baithta...balki kahani ke bane banaye suroor ko khatm kar deta hai.. isse reader oob jayeinge.... aur shayad bahut se log is shandaar kahani ko padhein hi nahi........... isme sudhaar karein ...aage se

10 me se 6 ank.......... is shandar kahani ki theme ke liye

 

[kamdev99008]

Ek ahsash jo jindgi badal de...
hindi
mysteryman
aisa hota hai bhai............. jaruri nahi ki jise hum chahte hain wo bhi humein chahe........

lekin ye bhi hai ki hum jise chahte hain wo chahe humein chahe ya na chahe....... humari chahat uske liye kam nahi hoti......

ye sirf pyar me hi nahi hota......................nafrat mein bhi hota hai................

pyar, nafrat, moh, gussa, lalach aur dar ye sab jindgi ke rang hain.... aate jate rehte hain.... inka asar jindgi par hota hai... lekin ye jindgi jeene ki wajah nahi............ jindgi samajh, vishwas aur samarpan se jee jati hai........... apne ap par aur jise apnana ho us par bhi.......isliye feeling aur emotions ko itna ahmiyat na do ki wo apki jindgi ko badalne lagein....

baaki.......... apka kahani likhne ka andaj achcha laga............ kahani se bhi jyada

10 me se 8 ank

 

[Geralt of Rivia]

Review of कलंक writer Romeo 22

बहोत ही उम्दा कहानी रोमियो जी के द्वारा। मैंने सुना था रोमियो जी की राइटिंग स्किल काफी अच्छी है परन्तु आज उनकी कहानी पढ़ के मैंने खुद जाना की काफी अच्छी राइटिंग स्किल है उनकी। दृश्यों का विवरण मोहक रूप से किया गया है। डायलॉग्स अच्छे हैं। ये कहानी नंदिनी और मन्नू की प्रेम कथा है, नंदिनी एक बड़े परिवार से है जबकि मन्नू साधारण परिवार से है। इस कारण उनका प्रेम अंजाम तक नहीं पहुंच पाता है और दोनों की मृत्यु हो जाती है। उसके बाद कई जन्मों में भी उनका मिलान अंजाम तक नहीं पहुंच पता और वे मृत्यु को प्राप्त होते हैं। पिछले जनम के बिछड़े प्रेमियों पर आधारित अनेक कहानिया लिखी जा चुकी हैं व फिल्में भी बनी हैं किन्तु फिर भी रोमियो जी की कहानी में नया पन महसूस होता है। कहानी का अन्त ‘सैड एंडिंग’ है। कुल मिलाकर काफी अच्छी है। All the best for contest!

 

[kamdev99008]

GOLDEN EAGLE
English
Lone_wolf
ha ha ha ........... funny closure of a serious sci-fi adventure............ you are really a genius...........
you created a suspense, thrill and curiosity by narrating a sci-fi fantasy and at last.......washed out everything.......all clear

7 points out of 10

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - RISHTAY NATAY
By Daamha

First of all thank you for this lovely story
Kahani choti hai but hai bohat pyari , rishtey bohat najuk hote hai aur agar Sahi tarike se handle na Kiya jaye to tut jate hai , is story Mai Apne bohat ache se dikhaya ki Kaise rishto ko handle Kiya jata hai or unke kya mayne hai ,
Plot Acha hai , narration kafi Acha hai .
Once again thank you for this lovely story.
Best of luck for contest.

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - REALITY?
By Niks96

First of all thank you for this lovely story.
Ek suspense se bhari bohat umda peshkas hai ye kahani , plot bohat Acha hai , narration too good. Padhte hue dhubne laga tha Mai is kahani Mai .
Mujhe apki ye peshkas Bohat Pasand aayi.
Best of luck for contest

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - JAD
By Niks96

First of all thank you for this lovely story.
Kahani Ka plot acha hai , aur narration bohat Acha hai.
Is kahani ko padhte padhte mujhe Apne hometown ki Yaad aa Gayi.
Ek Achi peshkas hai ye kahani .
Sukriya ek aisi kahani likhne ke liye .
Best of luck for contest