★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2019 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[The Immortal]

Review for - डबल क्रॉस
By pawankamdev123

First of all thank you for this wonderful story

Ek suspense se bhari bohat umda kahani hai ye , kahani Ka plot bohat Acha , narration usse se BHI Acha hai , bas us Gufa ke baare mai thoda aur likhte to mujhe bohat Acha lagta , lekin jitna bhi Likha kamaal Ka tha , end bohat Acha tha , jis Tarah se Puri story Mai suspense Bana ke rakha or jis Tarah se wo double cross hua wo mujhe bohat Pasand aaya.
Mujhe apki ye peshkas Bohat Pasand aayi.
Best of luck for contest

 

[Rbcl.007]

DOSTI , PYAR AUR JINDEGI
hindi
Rbcl.007
bhai apne kahani achchi likhi hai.... lekin ek normal positive situation ko frustration ka jaama pehnakar last me bahut lamba bhashan bhi de diiya.... jiski koi na jarurat thi.... na koi meaning....... ek ladke aur ladki ya 2 ladke ya 2 ladkiyo ke beech mein hi dosti nahi hoti...... dosti rishto mein bhi hoti hai............. aur sabse jyada dosti ki ahmiyat aur jarurat pati-patni ke rishte me hoti hai.... kyonki shareer me to un dono ke beech sabkuchh khula hota hai.... jitna ki shayad kisi aur se bhi nahi ho sakta... ya nahi hona chahiye...........
ab agar wo dono man se bhi khul jayein ek dusre ke dost ban jayein to.... usse achchha unki jindgi me kya hoga...... yahan to unko ek opportunity mili man se pehle hi dost the..... to unka vaivahik jeevan aur bhi behtar rahega........
aur rahi bat pyar, ishq, mohabbat........... ye sab dimag ka fitoor hai........... mein practically anubhav kar chuka hoon.......... meri patni ko meine shadi ke bad hi dekha...humne ek dusre ko dost banaya... kabhi man ka kuchh nahi chhipaya jaise tan ka nahi chhipaya......... aj mere unse itni achchhi tuning hai jitni ki kisi bhi premika se nahi bani........

is kahani ki poori theme is chheej ko highlight karti hai ki ye dono apas me ek dusre ko jitna samajhte the...utna kisi dure ko nahi samajh sakte.... us nazariye se in dono ki shadi ho jana koi tragedy nahi........ ek bahut bada gift hai......as a perfect couple jindgi jeene ke liye...... ye khushi har kisi ko nahi milti.... isiliye aj shadi ke 50% ratio me divorce ho rahe hain.............. bas apna mindset badalein aur think positive.............. shadi sirf pyar se nahi.......... ek dusre ko samajhne aur vishwas karne se jyada kamyab hoti hai
ab ate hain apke lekhan par...................
apne kahani ko simply paragraph me ..... bina samvad ke nibandh ki tarah likh diya...aur last me ek bahut bada pravachan jo logically kahin bhi fit nahi baithta...balki kahani ke bane banaye suroor ko khatm kar deta hai.. isse reader oob jayeinge.... aur shayad bahut se log is shandaar kahani ko padhein hi nahi........... isme sudhaar karein ...aage se

10 me se 6 ank.......... is shandar kahani ki theme ke liye

Thank you kamdev99008 bhai for review.. And I am totally agreed with you.. Maine jo kahani contest ke liye likh raha tha usse word limit ke chaltepost nahini karpaya to ye kahani likha actually ye meri real story hai toh life ka asli wala frustation story Maine aagaya... Isiliye itna odd lag raha hai.. Par kyun ki maine isse apne najar se likh raha tha toh mujhe wo point dikhai nahini di.... Thanks bhai uss point ko mere saamne lane ke liye ki story Maine reader ke mind ko catch karna hota hai na ki writer............ Really valuable words bhai.... Isitype ka review hi chahiye contest toh hote rahenge ye ek bohat hi umda manch hai apni story likhne ke style ke khamiyan ke bare Maine jaan ne ke liye... Aur han bhai maine aapse request karta hun aap ek baar meri doori story jo ki running hai plz ek baar check karein aur apna review de... Ki mujhe kya kya improvement karni hai.... Supporting review bohat log de denge par asli review wo hota hai jo aapke khamiyan ko dur karen.. To again thank you bhai aaur plz meri doori story ko review jaroor karna mera personal request hai bhai aapse...

 

[Chutiyadr]

Bhai jeet haar se jyada khushi aap jaise bade writer ki tarif se milti hai . Aap ka bht bht shukriya bhai itni gahrayi se kahani padhne aur pasand karne ke liye . Kahani likhte samay jeet haar ek baar bhi dimag me nahi aati par pasand aayegi sabko ya nahi ye baat kam se kam 100 baar to aa hi jati hai aur fir jab aisa review mil jata hai to bas din ban jata hai once again thank you so much bhai for reaching and liking this story

Bhai maine to ek hi line me kah diya tha ki mere liye ye winning story hai ,mujhe itani jyada pasand aayi aapki ye story ,khaskar jaisa apne likha hai ek bahut hi simple se plot ko...
Baba mi pahadi achchhi thi lekin ye best hai

 

[Seducer1-7]

Review of
AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)
Written by The Immortal

Ek pyari si, cute si love story jisme kuch bhi negative jesa nahi hai, pyar me pehle bichadna or fir usi pyar ka mil jaana ittefak nahi ho sakta lekin ye kisi ko sacchh bhi nahi lagta, log bas ise kalpana matra samajhte hai, isko samajne ke liye pyar ki najar chahiye, pyar ki gehraai ko apni kalam se kya khub pesh kiya hai inmo bhai story point to point bahut badiya rahi but agar ye story aap vsc ke liye likhte toh or maja aata, kahani bahut badiya thi maja aa gya padke

 

[KR$NA]

Wah Kiya Pyar He by lucky larka


Bhai first of all to story post karne ke liye shukriya . Story ka plot sach me bahut purana hai in fact isi usc me aayi hsi story khair jitna mai samjh paya story ek ladke ki kahani jo padhai ke sath hotal me kaam karta tha jise sath me kam karne wali ladki se pyar ho jata hai par ladki ko cancer tha . Dost apki bhasha par pakad hai hi nahi shayad hindi bhashi nahi ho . Flow bhi tair tair ke chal raha hai . Third person se first person me kahani ka jump bhi bina kisi notice ke ho gaya . Khair aapne likha yahin bahoot hai aur apki mehnat aachi hai

Aap ke prayas ke liye shubhkamnayein . All the best for contest

 

[The Immortal]

Review for - Ek ahsash jo jindgi badal de...
By mysteryman

First of all thank you for this lovely story
Kahani Ka plot Acha hai .
Is kahani ko padhte hue mujhe ae Dil hai muskil Ka ek dialogue yaad aa Gaya "ek tarfa pyar ki taakat hi Kuch aur Hoti hai " , Khair kahani Achi hai , ek ladka ek ladki ki dosti, ek tarfa pyar aur uska dard Kaisa hota hai bakhubi dikhaya Gaya hai ,
Mujhe apki ye peshkas Pasand aayi.
Best of luck for contest

 

[The Immortal]

My view on Amar-Kalpana written By The Immortal

maine story to padh li thi lekin review karne me der kar diya, koi na ...ab de deta hu. ye kahani apne naam ke hisab ke kalpnao ke aadharit ek reality ko darshati hai. immo bhai ne apne achha prayash kiya hai ese behtar story banane ka aur main uske es prayash ki sarahna karta hu.

apne es prayash me bahut had tak safal bhi huye hai, kahani ka flow bahut achha hai agar kuchh spelling mistake ko na dekha jaye to...mujhe padhne me jyada dikkat nahi aayi use. narration bhi achha hai aur dialogue bhi, simple lines hai jo log aam zindagi me use karte hai, jyada filmi nahi hai.

Immo bhai yeh kahani mujhe to bahut passand aayi. Bahot hi accha likha hai aapne. best of luck for contest

HT sir Ka review
First of all thank you for your wonderful review
Mujhe khusi hui apko kahani Pasand aayi , aur apka ye review bohat mayne rakhta hai mere liye, Baki Apne Jo point btaye hai ,kosis karunga next time Aisa Kuch na ho ,
Once again thank you for your wonderful review

 

[The Immortal]

Prefix - Romance
Writer - The Immortal

TITLE
AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)
kahani achchhi hai..... shabdon ka chayan aisa hai ki bandhe rakhta hai
suspence bhi last tak banaye rakha............

lekin sanyog aur wo bhi do logon ke sath............. kalpana hi jyada lagta hai......

is kahani ko 10 me se 7 ank

First of all thank you for your lovely review
Is duniya Mai na Jane kitne hi sach hai Jo kalpana lgte hai , bas usi base par Maine BHI Kuch Naya likhne ki kosis Kari , Baki next time Kuch Aisa likhne ki kosis karunga Jo sach jyada lage ,
Once again thank you for your wonderful review

 

[The Immortal]

Review of
AMAR-KALPANA (DEPTH OF LOVE)
Written by The Immortal

Ek pyari si, cute si love story jisme kuch bhi negative jesa nahi hai, pyar me pehle bichadna or fir usi pyar ka mil jaana ittefak nahi ho sakta lekin ye kisi ko sacchh bhi nahi lagta, log bas ise kalpana matra samajhte hai, isko samajne ke liye pyar ki najar chahiye, pyar ki gehraai ko apni kalam se kya khub pesh kiya hai inmo bhai story point to point bahut badiya rahi but agar ye story aap vsc ke liye likhte toh or maja aata, kahani bahut badiya thi maja aa gya padke

Sedu Bhai Ka review
First of all thank you for your wonderful review
Mujhe khusi hui apko meri peshkas Pasand aayi , apka ye review bohat mayne rakhta hai mere liye.
kosis karunga ki vsc Mai BHI Kuch alag pesh Karu , Jo apko padhne Mai aanad de .
Once again thank you for your wonderful review

 

[Romeo 22]

The Devil Who destroyed my life by Casinar
Very well written story casi bro
Language is very good and narration fluent & smooth. Plot is rather simple but interesting ; it's very very relevant in contemporary society. your excellent writings skill makes it even better.
What I specifically liked about the story is it's short and crisp statements which makes story easy to read and understand.
Story carries a meaning and a lesson for us. Also a kind of sad love story which has a devil in the form of a drug addict.
Overall, story is superbly written, crisp, concise and have all the necessary ingredients of a good short story.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
All the best for the contest