★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Damha]

Story:- Agnipariksha


Writer:- Adirshi


Review:- Ek sachai per likhi gayi kahani lekin lahani ke kirdar mujhe thore kamzoor lage matlab Aisa laga jaise un me dimagh ki kami hai Zulm karne wale se galat Zulm sehne wala hota hai Manisha ne bohat jaldi har man li aur Manish ko bhi majboor ker dia Mana manisha ke saath galat huwa lekin wo chahti to ye galat dusro ke saath hone se rok sakti is burai ke khilaf lar sakti thi lekin us ne kisi buzdil insaan ki tarha apni takleefo se bhagna chaha aur apni jaan de di aj duniya me 70% rape iss liye rukte nahi hai kiu ke aam insaan iss ke khilaf awaz nahi uthate lekin iss me un ki bhi galti nahi kiu ke un ke paas koi support nahi hota un ka adha honsla yanhi toot jata hai un ki sune ga kon kon madad kare ga un ki taklif samjhe ga anyways storie achi thi Lafzo per ap ki pakar achi thi bus kuch words the jo samajhne me mushkil huwi narration aur flow acha tha Umeed karta hu aage ap ki stories parhne ko milti rahe gi Best of luck for contest

 

[Naina]

Story = निकिता ...... डर का एहसास
Writer = Niharika
Bahot hi shandaar kahani .... kaise pichle janam mein anjilika apni malkin nikita ki jaan bachane ke liye khud ki jaan kurbaan kar diya... aur nikita k ish janam mein bhi anjilika farz nibhane se piche nahi hati... usne na keval nikita ko sachet kiya aane wale sankat ko lekar balki hardum sath diya nikita ki ush dust raja ko maarne ke liye... aur akhir Kar burayi ka ant hua.. nikita ne dust raja ke sine mein khanjar ghop kar ushe uske anjaam tak pahunch diya... paaralaukik ghatanao ko leke kahani ko likhi gayi thi.. phir bhi ish kahani padhke yahin lage ki duniya mein jaise aapke bura chahne wale hote hai, waise hi niswaarth roop se madad karne wale bhi hote..... kahani kaafi dilchasp thi sath hi narrations aur language bhi achhi thi...
Niharika ji Brilliant story line with awesome writing skill

 

[Damha]

Story:- Ek Adhuri Kahani


Writer:- QUASAR


Review:- Kahani bohat achi thi ek gareeb larke ki kahani jis ne mehnat Mazdoori ker ke apni behan ki shadi karwai Aur apni parhai jari rakhi khud ko bhooka rakh ker apni maa ka pait bhara lekin maa to maa hoti wo bacho ke dilo ke haal jaan leti hai lekin iss duniya me kuch aise log bhi hai jo Gareebo ko kisi gandi naali ka keera samajhte hai jaisa tha gopal us ne Arush se badla lene ki aag me Arush ko peeta aur us ki maa ke saath balatkar kia Aur apne hawaldaro se bhi karwaya Us ne apne bete ko bhi apne jaisa bana lia tha Lekin un sab takleefo me Arush ki muskurahat ki ek wajha bani Shruti Jo us ko samajhti thi us ko support karti thi us ke chehre per muskurahat lati thi us ki gareebi se us ko koi farak nahi oarta tha wo Arush ke dil ko chahti thi Lekin gopal ke bure karmo ka matka bhar chuka tha Ab us ke us ke karmo ke saza milni thi jis ke liye chuna gaya Arush Lekin dukh sirf iss baat ka hai un kameeno ki wajha se ek masoom larke ko apni jaan deni pari jis ne abhi zindagi me bohat kuch daikhna tha Shruti ki prem kahani adhuri reh gayi lekin us ke dil me Arush ka pyar hamesha zinda raha Mujhe ap ki kahani bohat pasand ayi bus Ending ko thora aur detail se likhna chahiye tha Raj ka kya huwa baad me ye bhi dikhana chahiye tha otherwise good story Narration aur Flow acha tha Best of luck for contest

 

[Damha]

Story:- लॉकडाउन - एक सज़ा


Writer:- Rockstar_Rocky


Review:- Ek bohat khubsoorat kahani Lockdown me Ameer to kisi tarha suffer ker lete hai lekin beech me pista hai gareeb Jo Apne ghar pariwar se dur 2 waqt ki roti kamane ke liye nikla hota hai Aj bohat se log gareebo ki madad karte hai lekin kis liye photos ke liye Koi kisi ko rashan de raha hai to saath me photos le ga chaand paise de ker khud ko itna bare dilwala maan leta hai ke jaise us ne duniya me he swarg kama le ho lekin in logo me se kuch log aise bhi hote hai jin ke paas kuch na ho jer bhi bohat kuch hota hai jaisa ke kahani ka kirdar rahul tha us ne sirf manu ke dukh aur takeef ko samjha balke us ka saath bhi dia jahan aj kal koi kisi anjaan ko pani tak nahi deta wanhi rahul ne Manu ko apne ghar laya us ko khana khilaya honsla dia Aur jitna ho saka us ke raaste me saath dia Salute hai aise logo ko Aur inhi me kuch sawarti log bhi hote hai jaise wo truck ke malik ka kirdar tha jis ne madad karne se pehle ge paiso ki maang ker di wo to amnu ki kismat achi thi ke us ke paas paise the warna wo raasta bhi us ko paidal paar karna per jata Manu ke andar ek Vishwas tha ek himat thi jis ke chalte itna lamba raatsa paar karne me wo jhijka nahi aur khud per yaqeen rakhte huwe chal para Aur us ne raasta pura bhi kia aur apni manzil per pohanch gaya Aur salute hai manu ki beti ko parhane ki soch ko aj kal log samajhte hai ke beti parh ker kya kare gi lekin wo ye bhool jate hai ke bache ka pehla school pehli teacher us ki maa he hoti hai agar maa he parhi nahi jo gi to wo bache ko kia sikhaye gi tarbiyat to achi de de gi lekin wo janoon nahi rehta bache me Rockstar bhai mujhe ap ki storie pasand ayi Narration aur flow bohat acha tha Umeed karta hu aage ap ki stories parhne ko milti rahe gi Best of luck for contest

 

[-:AARAV143:-]

Story :- Karma (Whatever you do it will be come back to you)

Writer :- Damha

Link :-

★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Entry Thread ★☆★

TITLE :- Karma (Whatever you do it will be come back to you)

xforum.live

story ka title bahut hi acha hai aur story line se perfect match karta hai

ayaan aur anam ki pyaar sach mein lajawab hai..
aajkal jaha adnormal ko unke relatives ache se khayal na rakhte
waha ayaan jaisa bhai use apni jaan se bhi jyada pyaar karta hai..

sheraz ki bhi kya galti kahu wo bhi jawani ke us mode par tha jaha sahi galat ke faisle lene mein mushkil hoti hai
lekin uski ek galti ki wajah se aaj anam ayan ki jindagi mein na hai..
is se acha agar sheraz ayaan se anam ka hath hi mang leta lekin jo usne kiya wo kabhi bhi maafi ke layak na hai..

sheraz ne maafi mangne mein der dar di..

ek time tha jab dost apne dost ke jaan dete the aur ab ek aisa waqt hai jaha dost hi sabse bada dushman ban jata hai..

story ek dum perfect thi..
sabhi kadiyan ek dusre se mili thi to koi pareshani ki baat na huyi padhte waqt

karma wahi hai jo humein apni galtiyan ko ehsaas dilata hai..
jo hum dusro ke sath bura karte wo kabhi na kabhi kisi na kisi roop mein humare samne aa hi jata hai..

aisa hi sheraz ke sath hua..
sheraz ne anam ke sath bura kiya aur uske karmo ki wajah se romaisa ke roop mein usko bhi adnormal janm diya..

jo hona tha wo to ho hi gaya hai ab sheraz ke mafi mangne se kuch badal na jayenga..
bahut hi badhiya story rahi bhai..

is baar sabhi writer ne kayi mahtvpurn topic chune hai..
jismein aapne bhi ek chuna hai

best of luck for contest

Rating :- 4.7/5 ?
​

 

[Damha]

Story:- RITU-RAJ (Ek Naya Sansaar)



Writer:- TheBlackBlood



Review:- Han aisa hota hai aur bohat se logo ke saath hota hai jab ap ko kisi apne ke liye feeling ane lag jati hai kuch log bata pate hai kuch log nahi bata pate kuch log toot jate hai kuch log jud bhi jate hai hota kya hai na jaise jaise ap ka bond strong hota hai waise waise ap ko un ki adat hone lagti hai Wo Adat Zarorat me badal jati hai Wo zarorat chahat ban jati hai Aur wo Chahat “MOHABBAT” aur iss Ahsaas per kisi ka bas nahi chalta bebas bana deta hai insaan ko usko khone ka dar kadam uthane nahi deta Aur ishq chupaye nahi chupta itne lambe arse se jis shaqs ke saath ap ka behan bhai ka rishta tha Aj ap us ko us nigah se daikh he nahi pa rahe hote pura nazariya he badal jata hai Apka kal tak jin cheezo ka mazak urate the ap Aj wo pyari lagne lagti hai Aur yehi pyar huwa viraj ko us ke pyar me itni shiddat thi ke us ne apne pyar ko hasil ker lia waqt zaroor laga lekin ant me us ko us ka meetha phal mil gaya Bohat achi kahani thi but ap iss ko thora aur detail se likh sakte ho Umeed karta hu aage bhi ap ki stories parhne ko milti rahe gi Best of luck for contest

 

[Damha]

Story:- ADHURA BANDHAN


Writer:- Mr.raj1100


Review:- Iss story se hume sikh milti hai har insaan duniya me yaqeen ke kabil nahi hota Hume har waqt satark rehna chahiye Aisa he kuch mohan ke saath huwa us ne ek Aisi larki per yaqeen kia jis ko wo janta nahi tha us ke past ka nahi pata tha Lekin savitri ko Mohan jaise larko ko behlana bohat ache se ata tha Savitri Ajay jaise log har waqt naye shikar ki firat me rehte hai he to dono behan hhai ki kismat achi thi jo renuka ne sab kuch daikh lia aur mohan ko bhi bata dia Ending thori weak lagi mujhe matlab kya ending thi Un dono ko ek moka mila Lekin unhe ye samajhne chahiye tha sab ki qismat itni achi nahi hoti un ko Kisi tarha Savitri aur ajay ko sabak sikhana chahiye tha Jis se wo aage apna ye ghinoona khel na khel sakte aur un ko un ke karmo ki saza mil jati otherwise good story Best of luck for contest

 

[Zaspreet]

UNFAITHFUL AND ALCOHOLIC

By Writer The Blue Prince

Awesome storyline with twisted end.

I was hooked up to the story from the start to the end. Never a single time I felt bored. Your narration is amazing and the way you phase your dialogues is commendable.

Prince you have given a good message against alcohol . How this thing has destroyed the life of nitin and made her weak outside as well as inside.

You also tried to show how unfaithful nature leads to dangerous end. 5/5 points for your narration, storyline and characters.

All the best for the contest .

 

[Rockstar_Rocky]

Story:- लॉकडाउन - एक सज़ा


Writer:- Rockstar_Rocky


Review:- Ek bohat khubsoorat kahani Lockdown me Ameer to kisi tarha suffer ker lete hai lekin beech me pista hai gareeb Jo Apne ghar pariwar se dur 2 waqt ki roti kamane ke liye nikla hota hai Aj bohat se log gareebo ki madad karte hai lekin kis liye photos ke liye Koi kisi ko rashan de raha hai to saath me photos le ga chaand paise de ker khud ko itna bare dilwala maan leta hai ke jaise us ne duniya me he swarg kama le ho lekin in logo me se kuch log aise bhi hote hai jin ke paas kuch na ho jer bhi bohat kuch hota hai jaisa ke kahani ka kirdar rahul tha us ne sirf manu ke dukh aur takeef ko samjha balke us ka saath bhi dia jahan aj kal koi kisi anjaan ko pani tak nahi deta wanhi rahul ne Manu ko apne ghar laya us ko khana khilaya honsla dia Aur jitna ho saka us ke raaste me saath dia Salute hai aise logo ko Aur inhi me kuch sawarti log bhi hote hai jaise wo truck ke malik ka kirdar tha jis ne madad karne se pehle ge paiso ki maang ker di wo to amnu ki kismat achi thi ke us ke paas paise the warna wo raasta bhi us ko paidal paar karna per jata Manu ke andar ek Vishwas tha ek himat thi jis ke chalte itna lamba raatsa paar karne me wo jhijka nahi aur khud per yaqeen rakhte huwe chal para Aur us ne raasta pura bhi kia aur apni manzil per pohanch gaya Aur salute hai manu ki beti ko parhane ki soch ko aj kal log samajhte hai ke beti parh ker kya kare gi lekin wo ye bhool jate hai ke bache ka pehla school pehli teacher us ki maa he hoti hai agar maa he parhi nahi jo gi to wo bache ko kia sikhaye gi tarbiyat to achi de de gi lekin wo janoon nahi rehta bache me Rockstar bhai mujhe ap ki storie pasand ayi Narration aur flow bohat acha tha Umeed karta hu aage ap ki stories parhne ko milti rahe gi Best of luck for contest

Brother,

Thank you ki aapne itna achha review diya! Aap devnagri badi musqil se padh paate hain fir bhi aapne meri is rachna ko poora padha, uske liye bahut-bhut shukriya.

 

[Damha]

Brother,

Thank you ki aapne itna achha review diya! Aap devnagri badi musqil se padh paate hain fir bhi aapne meri is rachna ko poora padha, uske liye bahut-bhut shukriya.

bhayio ke liye kuch bhi aur devnagri mushkil se nahi per pata mujhe devnagri ati he nahi hai